RL Anger

[Ganymede]

@Cupcake said in RL Anger:

Today at lunch another co-worker decided to say to me, "I don't know who was responsible for the breakfast the week the usual guy wasn't here, but they really did the shitty job!"

This is the first asshole. The only reason to say this to anyone is to either hurt someone or garner support so that you can feel better about hurting someone.

You're not the second.

[Auspice]

@Ganymede said in RL Anger:

@Cupcake said in RL Anger:

Today at lunch another co-worker decided to say to me, "I don't know who was responsible for the breakfast the week the usual guy wasn't here, but they really did the shitty job!"

This is the first asshole. The only reason to say this to anyone is to either hurt someone or garner support so that you can feel better about hurting someone.

You're not the second.

Yeah. Like, I wouldn't have said it to her, but only because she didn't need to hear it. Not as an asshole move, but because what she did was a nice thing and she didn't need to feel bad... if that makes sense? Like go to bat for her, hell yeah, but it doesn't make you a bad person to have told her.

Like if you feel bad, you feel bad because of empathy for her sake. Not because you're a bad person.

[Three-Eyed Crow]

@Auspice said in RL Anger:

@Cupcake

I wouldn't have told her. I'd have just told Douchebag 'Maybe you should buy them instead.'

I dunno why people bitch about free food.
I fuckin' love free food. Free food is the best food.

The amount of terrible back-biting and entitlement free food brings out in people around an office boggles my mind. It's made me cease to participate in or partake in pot-lucks because I CANNOT deal (I also get guilted for that, but I'm not eating so they can stuff it).

[Meg]

I have to admit I get snarky as shit about free food at work. Not about what they serve, but just about it in general. But that is what happens when your company pays you 20k less than your regional/career average and then trots out free food as a 'look at all we do for you'!

That's nice.

[Auspice]

@Meg said in RL Anger:

I have to admit I get snarky as shit about free food at work. Not about what they serve, but just about it in general. But that is what happens when your company pays you 20k less than your regional/career average and then trots out free food as a 'look at all we do for you'!

That's nice.

Well, that's a different line of snark. That's 'you're being shitheads about so-called benefits.'

Verizon would make us work on Thanksgiving and then give us high school cafeteria quality (barely) 'dinner' and pat themselves on the back for how 'well' they treated their employees!!!1

My snark then wasn't about the food. It was about making people work on Thanksgiving, giving them a really poor meal, and then bragging about themselves for doing so.

Whole different ballgame than 'Someone paid for food out of their own pocket and other people bitched about it'

[WTFE]

@Three-Eyed-Crow said in RL Anger:

@Auspice said in RL Anger:

@Cupcake

I wouldn't have told her. I'd have just told Douchebag 'Maybe you should buy them instead.'

I dunno why people bitch about free food.
I fuckin' love free food. Free food is the best food.

The amount of terrible back-biting and entitlement free food brings out in people around an office boggles my mind. It's made me cease to participate in or partake in pot-lucks because I CANNOT deal (I also get guilted for that, but I'm not eating so they can stuff it).

When I worked at Entrust the Tech Bubble (v1.0) was in full swing so any company who wanted to keep staff had to wear kid gloves. One of the things Entrust did was the Friday pizza lunch where they ordered in enough pizza in a bewildering variety of crusts and toppings to feed a company of 300 or so people about five times over.

Seriously, local pizzerias were getting to dread Fridays because of us.

They tried to cater to everybody: wheat-free crusts on some, cheeseless on some, tomato-free on some, vegan on some, etc. And keep in mind, just in case the point is being lost here, THESE ARE FREE FUCKING PIZZAS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT and not freezer pizza from the grocery store either.

And yet…

The whining began almost immediately. "What about those of us who want a cheeseless, wheat-free, vegan pizza?" (What? You, you mean? 'Cause nobody else is asking for that shit.) "What about…?" "What about…?" "What about…?" "What about…?" "What about…?"

Every week the whining got louder, more strident, and more ridiculously specialized. The weekly event that was supposed to bring us all together in one room having a good time and good food turned into bitter contests of who could be the most oppressed. (Yes, we had the Oppression Olympics in the '90s. And it was just as ludicrous as it is now.)

So the company cut the free pizzas.

Which brought on even more whining.

If I ever wind up in management in a company, free food is not on the plate. People are complete assholes as soon as free food enters the picture.

[Meg]

@WTFE I'd suggest not winding up in management. It never seems worth it, to me.

[Three-Eyed Crow]

@WTFE said in RL Anger:

If I ever wind up in management in a company, free food is not on the plate. People are complete assholes as soon as free food enters the picture.

And when it's food THE EMPLOYEE/MIDDLE-MANAGER is paying for out of their own pocket, the whining paradoxically gets even worse and more abusive to the poor person who was nice enough to buy it. People are awful, and the companies who use free food to abuse their employees are likewise awful. Down with the system! Or something.

[Auspice]

I think things like this are why some companies are so lax in dress code now, too, vs just 'casual Fridays.' I remember one job where we entirely lost our casual Friday because of people taking it too far. It was very clearly outlined what it was and what it wasn't, but you still had the girls showing up to the (rather conservative office, since we were in the financial industry and often had executives and visiting partners/clients coming through) office in club wear.

Not the 'You can wear jeans and sneakers and appropriate tshirts' that was outlined, but the miniskirts and damn-near-latex dresses they'd wear out to the club. And before someone gets mad at me for slut-shaming... Look, there's stuff appropriate for professional work attire and there's stuff appropriate for going out with your friends.

And the ass-prints I'd see left on desks are the reason I don't want people wearing club wear to work okay. that shit ain't sanitary.

but errrrrbody lost casual Friday because instead of following the rules, they just got louder and louder in throwing fits about it being 'unfair' to them (somehow, who knows). Personally, I just liked my one day a week of sneakers and jeans damnit.

[WildBaboons]

We get free food relatively often at work and I've rarely heard anyone complain that wasn't giving a valid complaint. Like the catered luncheon where the vegetarian can only eat one of the bags of chips... said vegetarian got themselves into the position of helping arrange the food and fixed the problem instead of whining about it.

That said.. at a company event there was gluten free, vegan pizza. It remained untouched. I felt sorry for both the vegan and the gluten free because both of their restrictions got combined into just.. awful.

[WTFE]

@WildBaboons said in RL Anger:

We get free food relatively often at work and I've rarely heard anyone complain that wasn't giving a valid complaint. Like the catered luncheon where the vegetarian can only eat one of the bags of chips... said vegetarian got themselves into the position of helping arrange the food and fixed the problem instead of whining about it.

The problem wasn't that there were dietary restrictions or preferences. The problem was that they were increasingly specific. "I can only eat wheat-free (gluten-free wasn't a thing back then), dairy-free, tomato-free, but not vegan -- I like my meat." "I can only eat vegan, tomato-free, but not wheat-free because wheat-free crusts are of the Devil." "I can only eat <insert laundry list of increasingly bizarre requirements>."

Now for some things--medical conditions--I have some sympathy and I will bend over backwards to accommodate these at social events because it sucks to be left out because, in effect, you're sick. Some other things--common dietary restrictions like "kosher" or "vegan"--well, that's (mostly) a choice, but the availability is sufficiently commonplace that it's easy enough to find something that complies.

No, what gets me is when you have a long laundry list of personal choices that make life a logistical Hell as you juggle five or more pizzerias along with over 9000 very specific requirement lists (despite the company only having 300 people!) all so that each precious little snowflake can have, in effect, their own private pizza. At that point, I agree with what management chose to do: ditch the free pizzas entirely. You want your special snowflake pizza? Order it and pay for it yourself.

Sucks for the majority that strident minorities killed a good thing, but it sucks even more to go through the massive efforts required to arrange such a thing only to get shit upon literally every week.

[Ganymede]

@WTFE said in RL Anger:

The problem wasn't that there were dietary restrictions or preferences. The problem was that they were increasingly specific. "I can only eat wheat-free (gluten-free wasn't a thing back then), dairy-free, tomato-free, but not vegan -- I like my meat." "I can only eat vegan, tomato-free, but not wheat-free because wheat-free crusts are of the Devil." "I can only eat <insert laundry list of increasingly bizarre requirements>."

It's fucking free food, not civil rights.

I'm allergic to fucking nuts and legumes, but you don't see me being a bitch about motherfuckers who insist on bringing hummus and pecan pie in.

"Oh, but I'm vegan, so if you don't provide me with an option, I'll feel left out."

You fucking left out meat and dairy products voluntarily, so go fuck that noise. You don't fit in at a Burger King, but I don't see you whining to them.

SO MUCH AGGRAVATION.

[Auspice]

@Ganymede said in RL Anger:

@WTFE said in RL Anger:

The problem wasn't that there were dietary restrictions or preferences. The problem was that they were increasingly specific. "I can only eat wheat-free (gluten-free wasn't a thing back then), dairy-free, tomato-free, but not vegan -- I like my meat." "I can only eat vegan, tomato-free, but not wheat-free because wheat-free crusts are of the Devil." "I can only eat <insert laundry list of increasingly bizarre requirements>."

It's fucking free food, not civil rights.

I'm allergic to fucking nuts and legumes, but you don't see me being a bitch about motherfuckers who insist on bringing hummus and pecan pie in.

"Oh, but I'm vegan, so if you don't provide me with an option, I'll feel left out."

You fucking left out meat and dairy products voluntarily, so go fuck that noise. You don't fit in at a Burger King, but I don't see you whining to them.

SO MUCH AGGRAVATION.

...so funny enough Burger King does have Morningstar burgers, so vegetarians can eat at Burger King of all places.

[Aria]

I am the executive assistant for a department of 127 people.

I am often both whined at for providing free candy out of my own pocket -- but not often enough! and not in their favorite flavor! and how come I switched to the less expensive stuff! -- and the one responsible for figuring out how to cater events for our department whenever management decides to 'bring in a special treat!'

We have multiple vegetarians, one vegan, two people who are gluten-free out of medical necessity (so cross-contamination is an issue), one person who says she's gluten-free but everyone in the office has seen her eat plenty of wheat, one person who is allergic to tomatoes (which are in goddamn everything), one person allergic to eggs, my own seafood allergy, one nut allergy, three women who basically won't eat anything unless it looks like something from the kids' menu, a guy who basically thinks all vegetables are Satan incarnate, my boss who wants seafood everything (did I mention I'm the one doing the ordering and am allergic to fish?), and another manager who says he will 'try anything once if it isn't weird' which means he wants steak and potatoes.....

.....Fuck all of you. Seriously. ALL OF YOU.

Be nice to your assistants, people. You have no idea how many of you narrowly escape justifiable homicide on a regular basis.

[WTFE]

@Ganymede said in RL Anger:

The problem wasn't that there were dietary restrictions or preferences. The problem was that they were increasingly specific. "I can only eat wheat-free (gluten-free wasn't a thing back then), dairy-free, tomato-free, but not vegan -- I like my meat." "I can only eat vegan, tomato-free, but not wheat-free because wheat-free crusts are of the Devil." "I can only eat <insert laundry list of increasingly bizarre requirements>."

It's fucking free food, not civil rights.

Preaching to the choir here, girl.

I'm allergic to fucking nuts and legumes, but you don't see me being a bitch about motherfuckers who insist on bringing hummus and pecan pie in.

And were I stupid enough to be part of the group that is arranging food, your legume allergy would be taken into account because, as I said, it kind of sucks being left out of a group activity because, in effect, you're sick.

On the other hand I would guess you're not that kind of a shithead that would see the effort we'd put in to including you and then shitting on us because it wasn't the specific kind of legume-free food you wanted.

"Oh, but I'm vegan, so if you don't provide me with an option, I'll feel left out."

You fucking left out meat and dairy products voluntarily, so go fuck that noise. You don't fit in at a Burger King, but I don't see you whining to them.

Yeah, the more militant branches of vegetarianism start collecting a hefty "fuck you" from me because it is pure choice. Interestingly they also tend to be the loudest of the whiners when it comes to their tastes not being catered to. And let's face it, vegan pizzas at their absolute best fucking suck. If you're whining about how your vegan pizza is terrible ... well, fucking duh! You've deliberately selected a dietary choice that gives you crusts that suck, "cheese" that sucks, and toppings that suck. Get used to suction.

SO MUCH AGGRAVATION.

So much, in fact, that the company dropped the pizza lunches. So much, in fact, that if I'm ever in a position to make the decision, free food will simply not happen.

[WTFE]

It's time for me to compare cultures again.

One thing I admire about the Chinese is their stoic natures. While sometimes they take it too far (in first response circles it's well-known that you pretty much ignore expressed symptoms when dealing with Chinese people and look only for signs because they won't actually TELL you when something is causing them pain!) in matters like free meals and such they're a joy to deal with.

If you arrange free food and you arrange something someone can't eat, they just ... don't eat it. If you arrange a free trip into the mountains (like my employer did last year) and someone can't climb the mountain, they just ... don't climb the mountain. There's none of this bizarre sense of entitlement that I routinely found in North American companies (where people routinely lost their shit over free food and whine loudly and bitterly at being "left out" of activities they didn't like or were unable to partake of). I still reflexively cringe whenever free food/activities/whatever show up because nearly 40 years of watching assholes whine with almost spectacular doggedness has left scar tissue, but the cringe has thus far always been proved premature.

Unless you deal with children. The current crowd of Chinese people 20 years of age or younger are whiny snowflakes like North Americans and will get the axe if they get on my sole remaining nerve for much longer.

[Auspice]

@WTFE said in RL Anger:

If you arrange free food and you arrange something someone can't eat, they just ... don't eat it.

This is just how I was raised and how I've always been. Just don't eat the thing. If you get asked, that's one thing. If it's offered, for free, as a general course of things... just don't partake. Wtfever.

But I swear to god, people who are just picky eaters who want free food catered to their preferences drive me up a wall. Esp. the 'I only eat like a five year old' types.

I'm sorry. Grow up. Learn to try new foods. I was never more offended than the time my roommate wanted to introduce us to his girlfriend, we invited her to dinner, I cooked a big meal, she showed up... and snubbed the whole thing and refused to even try any because 'I only eat pizza, nuggets, and burgers.'

[deadculture]

@Auspice said in RL Anger:

@WTFE said in RL Anger:

If you arrange free food and you arrange something someone can't eat, they just ... don't eat it.

This is just how I was raised and how I've always been. Just don't eat the thing. If you get asked, that's one thing. If it's offered, for free, as a general course of things... just don't partake. Wtfever.

But I swear to god, people who are just picky eaters who want free food catered to their preferences drive me up a wall. Esp. the 'I only eat like a five year old' types.

I'm sorry. Grow up. Learn to try new foods. I was never more offended than the time my roommate wanted to introduce us to his girlfriend, we invited her to dinner, I cooked a big meal, she showed up... and snubbed the whole thing and refused to even try any because 'I only eat pizza, nuggets, and burgers.'

Wow, what good health she must have.

[Auspice]

@deadculture said in RL Anger:

@Auspice said in RL Anger:

@WTFE said in RL Anger:

If you arrange free food and you arrange something someone can't eat, they just ... don't eat it.

This is just how I was raised and how I've always been. Just don't eat the thing. If you get asked, that's one thing. If it's offered, for free, as a general course of things... just don't partake. Wtfever.

But I swear to god, people who are just picky eaters who want free food catered to their preferences drive me up a wall. Esp. the 'I only eat like a five year old' types.

I'm sorry. Grow up. Learn to try new foods. I was never more offended than the time my roommate wanted to introduce us to his girlfriend, we invited her to dinner, I cooked a big meal, she showed up... and snubbed the whole thing and refused to even try any because 'I only eat pizza, nuggets, and burgers.'

Wow, what good health she must have.

Hint: she didn't. Could have! With, y'know, a halfway decent diet. But didn't.

Which, whole other rant. People who could have great health with minimal effort and throw it all away. Like damnit, I envy you. I want that.

[Ganymede]

@WTFE said in RL Anger:

One thing I admire about the Chinese is their stoic natures. While sometimes they take it too far (in first response circles it's well-known that you pretty much ignore expressed symptoms when dealing with Chinese people and look only for signs because they won't actually TELL you when something is causing them pain!) in matters like free meals and such they're a joy to deal with.

See everyone? I'm a joy to deal with.

People who could have great health with minimal effort and throw it all away. Like damnit, I envy you. I want that.

I'm sorry, but I like staying up late, drinking and having a good time.