During one of the elections (the second Dubya one, I think), a British news anchor was at a Republican rally talking to them about their economic beliefs, and used "how did your afford that motorized wheelchair?" as a follow-up question. He was kind and polite about it, and only about half the people they chose to show in this segment were angry at his pointing out the cognitive dissonance.
So yeah, you're absolutely right. I should have picked a much better nerd honey trap. Like this one:
@mietze said in Um...What?:
@thenomain
At least it’s not called “Well, Actually...”
Like there's a difference between "Um, Actually" and "Well, Actually", you great pedantic nerd. Sheesh!
“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.”
― Carl Sagan, Cosmos
@thenomain said in Um...What?:
@mietze said in Um...What?:
@thenomain
At least it’s not called “Well, Actually...”Like there's a difference between "Um, Actually" and "Well, Actually", you great pedantic nerd. Sheesh!
....So I'm in the SCA and one of our Kngdom's lovely, talented bards wrote a song called "Well, Actually." I am now determined to find the YouTube link of her performing this song again because it's amazing and hilarious.
https://whatiswrongwith.me/Mia
There were never any good old days. They are today. They are tomorrow. It's a stupid thing we say, cursing tomorrow with sorrow. -- Gogol Bordello
Haha! Found it. Some of the terms may be wasted on people who aren't SCAdians or Medieval history nerds in general, but you'll still get the point.
Back on the regular: "Um... what?"
I get a lot of spam mail in this vein:
This is to inform you that your request on: 25/12/2017 2:37:40 p.m. to remove your account from gmail.com server has been approved and will initiate in one hour from the exact time you open this message.
Regards.
ignore this message to continue with email removal or
Please confirm if this is genuine as i have not made any such request.
Regards,
Google
NOTE: If You Receive This Message In Your Junk or Spam Its Due to Your Internet Provider
Another type I get is along of the lines of: Omg stop messaging us you psycho! You hooked up with my roommate once! Leave us alone!
And my favorite was:
This came in my snail mail once. I keep forgetting if I have shared it or not.
If I still have it somewhere and it's not mangled or something, I should really frame it, because wow.
I got my first wrong number text today:
Saying the quiet parts out loud since 1996.
@auspice I've only gotten two wrong number texts. One was a picture of a little girl eating birthday cake. The other was someone insisting they were my little sister, and to leave the lights on or something.
"Huh, who is this?"
"Your little sister!"
"uh... pretty sure you have the wrong number."
"NO I AM YOUR SISTER STOP BEING A DICK"
@cobaltasaurus
I'm just sad he never replied back! Who is this girl that chooses venues like Applebee's for her make out sessions?!
Saying the quiet parts out loud since 1996.
Am I the only person who always pretends to be the person people are trying to reach when they get a wrong number call?
"Oh, you want the '97 Civic I posted on Craigslist? Yeah man, come on by. I'll even knock 1000 dollars off the price if you promise to slap my face a couple times and spit on me!"
@auspice Clearly, a classy lady. Not like those trashy gals who put out at a Denny's, as if!!!
@admiral No.
@cobaltasaurus
I love the videos he's posted about him replying to the spam emails.
@cobaltasaurus OMG, I needed that laugh, that was priceless.
I save the 'fucking with callers' for the Microsoft 'Virus!!!' scammers. I consider them my intermittent refresher workout of improv skills.
@auspice
My all time favorite wrong number situation was when I was in college, this was the days of the answering machine.
Me and my roommate had our names in the greeting and sounded like two dumb college kids cause we were just that. This guy kept leaving messages for his boss about having to miss work on our machine always while we were in class and he never left a number, so we could call him back and let him know he got the wrong one. (Caller ID cost extra at the time and we were broke as well as dumb college kids.) Over the course of about two months he left a few more increasingly upset messages not realized why his boss was getting angry about him not calling in when he is leaving the messages. Finally we got one with the dude in tears after getting fired for missing work without calling in and wanting to know when he called in every time.
To this day I still feel bad for the guy since it was a total miscommunication that got him fired.
Sadly he never left anything but his name Chris and only called his boss by his first name (I think it was john but can't say for certain anymore) never a number or a business name so we could try and clear it up.
... how off of it did that idiot have to be to be to NOT REALIZE HE WAS LEAVING A MESSAGE on some college kids' answering machine? Or maybe someone was trolling you.
@bobotron I could see it happening if he called in while very ill or drunk or something. THough you'd think after the 2nd or 3rd time the boss or Chris would double check the number. 
@thatguythere I would have changed my message after the second one to say: Hey if this is Chris we are NOT YOUR BOSS, find the right number before you get fired!
Customer: Do you carry BearClaws?
Me: No, but we do have shearling footwear by <brand>, it has <brand feature> and we're running a sale--I can grab you a size to try."
Customer: "No, I was looking for BearClaws."
..the WTF response I had might not translate to people who don't sell shoes for a living.
@insomniac7809 Some people have some serious brand loyalty. When it comes to shoes, once I've found a pair that does me right I try to get them exclusively. Most shoes do not help with the fact that I work on my feet, have flat feet, and am old, so at the end of the day I am just... destroyed.
If I ever found a pair of shoes that didn't kill my feet I would just never change brands ever.
Hello! Long time listener, first time caller...
@lithium Oh, no, I do get that. But loyalty to off-brand Uggs thdrew me for a loop.
@auspice I've only gotten two wrong number texts. One was a picture of a little girl eating birthday cake. The other was someone insisting they were my little sister, and to leave the lights on or something.
"Huh, who is this?"
"Your little sister!"
"uh... pretty sure you have the wrong number."
"NO I AM YOUR SISTER STOP BEING A DICK"
