RL Anger

Auspice · Mar 7, 2019, 12:15 AM

My husband's grandfather died, but no one is communicating anything on the funeral or whatnot.

I want him to be able to go if he can.... but I need to get a substitute now if we are going.

Ugh. I'm sorry.

I dealt with that uncertainty this past summer when my grandmother passed. I ended up having to buy plane tickets with only 3 days of warning (thank god I wasn't the one paying for them!).

I really, really hope they sort it out ASAP. Last minute travel arrangements, esp. for something so important, are so stressful.

Wretched · Mar 7, 2019, 12:22 AM

@silverfox It might help to call and simply ask direct questions politely repeatedly. Grief makes people funny.

Sparks · Mar 7, 2019, 3:11 AM

@Testament said in RL Anger:

Alex Trebek being diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.

You leave that beautiful man alone.

Ugh. My friend and writing mentor was just diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 pancreatic cancer a few weeks ago; she's been told she might get a year if she's lucky. Pancreatic cancer is brutal.

So now she's trying very hard to finish the next—and now apparently final—book she wanted to write.

Thenomain · Mar 7, 2019, 3:17 AM

My heat is out for the second time in three months.

I am not a happy camper.

Pandora · Mar 7, 2019, 4:01 AM

When someone is both incorrect AND pandering, publicly accusing you of being 'confused' by a topic. And then you point out how and why they're wrong, and you get silence instead of any sort of admission of their mistake or for talking to you like you're stupid. It's these thoughtless little microaggressions that become one more straw on the camel's back.

Tinuviel · Mar 7, 2019, 4:02 AM

@Pandora You could just say "middle management."

ZombieGenesis · Mar 7, 2019, 1:15 PM

Death. I know it's dumb to rage against such a natural thing but I just lost one of my cats, one I've had for 19 years, and I'm alternating between sadness and rage.

Ganymede · Mar 7, 2019, 2:20 PM

@ZombieGenesis

It's not dumb; it's natural.

Your cat lived for 19 years. That's incredible. I'll bet your cat was a very happy cat.

And since God is a cat, that means something.

Wretched · Mar 7, 2019, 2:46 PM

@Ganymede said in RL Anger:

And since God is a cat, that means something.

This explains why i fell down the stairs the other day. Paw of God. My mortal flesh, like the half filled glass of water on the edge of a desk.

Ganymede · Mar 7, 2019, 3:18 PM

@Wretched

Auspice · Mar 7, 2019, 4:48 PM

@ZombieGenesis said in RL Anger:

Death. I know it's dumb to rage against such a natural thing but I just lost one of my cats, one I've had for 19 years, and I'm alternating between sadness and rage.

I am so sorry. Loss of a kitty is a painful thing. They are lovely, wonderful companions.

Meg · Mar 7, 2019, 4:55 PM

Dealing with that voice in your broken brain that insists that no one actually cares about you or that anyone would miss you if you were gone.

I can remind myself it is not true a billion times. But. Brain. Etc.

Aria · Mar 7, 2019, 5:08 PM

@Meg Sometimes brains need to punched right in their big stupid face.

My advice -- and my last therapist thought this was both hilarious and super effective -- was talking back to your negative self-talk like it's someone you not only dislike, but have zero respect for. Give it a name and shitty personality you just despise and next time, that little voice going off in your head can go like this.

"None of your friends actually like you. They're just being polite."

"Well, you cut filled donuts in half and leave them in the box, so no one likes you either. So you can just shut up about it, Brenda."

deadculture · Mar 7, 2019, 5:17 PM

When I used to get those thoughts I used to listen to this to feel better:

Hope it helps when you're feeling down, too.

Kanye Qwest · Mar 7, 2019, 5:32 PM

@scar said in RL Anger:

Last night on our way to tabletop, we had to help a woman move her puppy out of the street after it was hit by a car. The driver who did it sped off and she was totally hysterical, so my one (much more emotionally intelligent) friend took her aside to a nearby stoop to block her vision while a passing driver and I tried to move the dog to the sidewalk. The guy like, looked at me in the eyes right when we were about to and said, "I can't do this," and left - so I had to. It was so fucking awful. I didn't sleep at all last night. Every time I tried to close my eyes, I kept bringing up all the visuals and now that I'm exhausting, I am feeling so many things about it.

jesus. I just read this and I am so sorry. What a nightmare.

surreality · Mar 7, 2019, 5:52 PM

@Aria That is completely fucking brilliant.

I am stealing your therapist's advice, and would absolutely watch the thriving talk show she sincerely deserves to have.

Testament · Mar 7, 2019, 6:31 PM

Normally, when you get a cold, you can more or less function with a a combination of water, DayQuil, and pain killers, eventually shoving yourself at work.

And then you have a cold that completely sidelines you, you barely sleep because you can't breathe well and whatever medications you take don't really help a whole lot. So all you can do is be miserable.

Then feel guilty about calling into work two days in a row because you know you'd be utterly useless if you went in and you'd risk getting others sick.

So you're not going to win no matter what.

Aria · Mar 7, 2019, 6:36 PM

@surreality said in RL Anger:

@Aria That is completely fucking brilliant.

I am stealing your therapist's advice, and would absolutely watch the thriving talk show she sincerely deserves to have.

Ohhh, that was my idea. She just thought it was hilarious and also very effective. Apparently there's some fancy-schmancy psychology name for responding to/overriding your negative thoughts that she tried to teach me with visualization (something about a stop sign at a crossroads and turning left or something), but it wasn't really helping as much as we'd hoped. So I decided to just..... roll with the idea of how much I hate those intrusive mental criticisms and depression/anxiety brain tricks and turn them into a person I hate and can think of as not-me and not how I really feel.

She leaves shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot. She starts sentences with, "I'm not racist, but." She demands to speak to managers about her coupon that expired six months ago. She is the worst and I don't have to give a shit what she thinks.

surreality · Mar 7, 2019, 6:49 PM

@Testament Console yourself with the very important truth that you're preventing your coworkers from going through the same.

Unless you hate them. Then, sigh inwardly, and binge watch something you've been holding off on to distract yourself from frustrated vengeance.

@Aria ...you seriously need to talk to someone about a talk show. No lie, that's brilliant.

TNP · Mar 7, 2019, 7:18 PM

@Testament said in RL Anger:

Normally, when you get a cold, you can more or less function with a a combination of water, DayQuil, and pain killers, eventually shoving yourself at work.

And then you have a cold that completely sidelines you, you barely sleep because you can't breathe well and whatever medications you take don't really help a whole lot. So all you can do is be miserable.

Then feel guilty about calling into work two days in a row because you know you'd be utterly useless if you went in and you'd risk getting others sick.

So you're not going to win no matter what.

You just stated exactly what I'm going through right now. I want to go in tomorrow but feel like utter shit and can barely think. If this head cold was a cat, Jackson Galaxy would be coming over to do a show on it. I want to go in tomorrow but at this rate, it's iffy. Might go in for a few hours just to prove to the boss I'm on death's door.