RL Anger

[surreality]

I see the scammers as a completely legitimate place to vent any relevant aggression. That's not 'right', but I frankly don't care.

I can probably link a fair measure of my testiness in recent months to the fact that I probably actually managed to get them to stop calling.

I was in the middle of a video call with a former friend on hangouts once when they called, and he got to listen to the fireworks. I am still glad he was on my headphones, because I'm pretty sure they would have heard him cracking the fuck up. That time, it was some poor asshole just reading off the script and probably didn't have the best grasp on English, and they referred to me as 'Sir', which led to an instant snap to, "Do I sound like a motherfucking 'Sir' to you?" and it only went downhill from there. I was watching the video screen thumbnail as the guy I was talking to was turning deeper shades of purple as he was laughing his ass off and tears streamed down his face.

(So yes, I can make a grown man cry, it's just not how most people would expect.)

[TiredEwok]

I hate it when people treat a temporary change to someone's looks as being WORLD ENDING and OMGHOWCOULDYOU!?!?

Case in point, I finally broke down and gave myself a buzz cut just to get rid of all the dry/damaged/oily hair and start over with a healthy head of (hopefully curly!) hair. Most of my friends have been pretty supportive but several people act like I've tried to kill God or something. Sheesh. Hair grows back and this is the only time I plan on doing this, people. Get the eff over it! >.<

[surreality]

@Apu Consider this another vote of support from a long hair junkie. Mine would never, ever grow out past my shoulders until I flipped after a round of bad extensions (don't even ask, that's too long a story for another day) and just shaved them out in back and went full on skater cut for about three years, with the long top and the shaved back. (It was the nineties, come on, people!)

It worked like a charm.

I switched from dyeing it all a collection of reds/coppers/burgundies everyone under the sun oooooohed over for over a decade to olive/teal/purples with bright orange + burgundy underneath (same area that once was shaved, gimme a break, topknots look wonderfully trippy now) and got the same reaction from some people for about a week or so.

...now most of those same people have threatened to shave my head if I don't keep up with doing the green because apparently 'it suits you and somehow looks normal on you, how creepy is that'. So beware the people who decide the buzz looks better if you plan to grow it out!

[Lisse24]

@Cupcake I totes get that feeling and it sucks. For some reason, it seems like I'm always a periphery member to all my friend groups, so if I'm around when they're doing something, that's cool. But, I also get excluded from a lot of things because it just never occurred to anyone to invite me. There's a lot of self-esteem and self-doubt issues that get all tangled up in that and so I've definitely been where you are and totally and completely sympathize!

[Insomnia]

@Apu I've been tempted to do it. My hair is super straight and I always wanted curly hair, had a friend who went they same way and her hair was gorgeously curly...

But now I've gotten older and I guess, hormones? Because it's started to go wavy on it's own the longer it gets, so now I'm hesitant since it's at the middle of my back and what if it goes all straight again.

But I live in Nova Scotia and if I would ever do it, it would have been the end of spring / start of summer, not fa-- winter, who am I kidding, we don't get fall here. So it just becomes a cycle of me thinking about it.

[ThatGuyThere]

@SG said in RL Anger:

@Insomnia said in RL Anger:

@Cupcake You get to save money but not getting them a gift?

UGh, one of my coworkers invited the whole department to her bridal shower and her wedding, but not the reception where the booze will be. Like come on!

What kind of monster invites you to the ceremony and not the reception?
In a case like that i would crash the reception, with out a shred of guilt.
Though it could be worse, it could be one of those weird protestant receptions where there but punch and cake but no real food or booze.

[surreality]

@ThatGuyThere A lot of people do, actually. I know a lot of folks who don't want to exclude anyone from the ceremony, so there's not really an invitation sent out for the ceremony at all -- it's just 'everybody in the family and friends group knows about it and is welcome to show up if they want' but they don't have the $$$$$ to pay for a ton of people to attend a reception, so the only actual invites that go out are for that. That shit's expensive. Average per guest in this area, for instance, is $75+ per guest, including children for a small, not terribly fancy sort of thing, unless you're doing something like a casual buffet at your house.

There's a reason I did the justice of the peace thing to handle the actual wedding with just my husband's mother and my parents there, and that we're saving up for an additional 2-3 years to have a small reception for just the closest of the close friends and relatives.

[mietze]

My Vegas wedding was the best one. Anyone who wanted to make the effort to fly out there to join us was welcome, the pastor gave the best and shortest wedding speech I've heard after going to hundreds o weddings including my other one (I guess when this is all you do you get damn good at it!), we took everyone who came out to an awesome dinner in the top restaurant of the casino hotel we were staying at, and then people could stay and go to shows or walk around and people watch or whatever. Also the cheapest and most fun wedding. Then we just had a party at home for people who didn't want to/couldn't come, no gifts needed, just come and eat and drink.

[SG]

@ThatGuyThere It's a polish catholic wedding, but if there's no chicken dancing and polka in what I'm invited to, I'm not interested.

[ThatGuyThere]

@surreality said in RL Anger:

@ThatGuyThere A lot of people do, actually. I know a lot of folks who don't want to exclude anyone from the ceremony,

That boggles my mind, to me getting invited to the ceremony but not the reception would be like being invited to set up decorations to the party but not to attend the party.
By the time I finished college I had been to probably close to one hundred weddings in my life between friends and two large extended families.
The ceremony is the pain you sit through to get to the fun, I would rather be left off both then not get the good part after dealing with the other. I would not even pretend to consider going to a ceremony without the reception attached.

[surreality]

@ThatGuyThere Try being in a huge Catholic family for a while. They're big on the ceremony part. Everyone must be permitted to attend if they even know about it, or there will be hell to pay.

That doesn't mean I owe them a $75 dinner simply because they heard second-hand from Cousin Mario that there was a ceremony going down.

[ThatGuyThere]

@surreality
I am part of a big catholic family that is why I insist on the reception. When I think wedding I thing sweating in a church in summer in a suit while the ceremony clocks in at at least an hour usually closer to two.
Or the ultimate wedding horror story. A male from my large Catholic family married a female form a large Lutheran family. The couple was fine with a mixed ceremony and it being quick, the grandparents on each side weren't so on a very hot a humid July Saturday we sat through an entire Catholic Ceremony, exited the church then reenters to sit through an entire Lutheran ceremony, total elapsed time was 3 hours. Sadly I was not old enough to drink at the reception but the food was excellent.
I am not an asshole, I would politely decline without the reception, but decline I would. And yes this policy has lead to some hurt feeling of folks getting married, I can deal with that.

[surreality]

@ThatGuyThere What I'm saying is, people in this family (and sadly, the same is true for most of my friends and relatives) invite themselves to the wedding simply because they have heard about it and know when it is, they didn't get an invitation. People are left with the option of 'turn them away at the door at the ceremony' or 'shell out enormous amounts of unplanned for money and resources' if they invite themselves along to the reception as well.

Edit: To give you some idea... we're inviting one of the Italian cousins, noting specifically it's if he happens to be in town already at the time (which he often is, as his daughter goes to school in the US; he spends as much time here as there). He's already suggested that we pay for his plane ticket and one for a date, which we obviously declined, since that would be half of our entire budget (including for our clothes, all fees, all food, venue, etc.). People are INSANE with the level of imposition, and there's gotta be some limits in there somewhere. It just wouldn't be done to turn people away at the ceremony, though, with these folks -- that would be adding even more insult in their eyes.

[ThatGuyThere]

@surreality
The solution I have see for that most of the time is Ceremony at the church. Then pictures for the bridal party and about two hours of dead time for everyone else then reception at a different location.
though honestly I would not be at that ceremony either, my other rule for attendance is a personal invitation either written or verbal from one of the people getting married.
If you don't invite them to the ceremony then you have no obligation, but i stand by if you invite to the ceremony then you do have an obligation for the reception. And yes people do sometimes invite to the ceremony and not reception, which is what I am against.
How people get to the ceremony and reception is on them, paying for guest to attend unless a parent of one of the two primaries is ridiculous.

Edit What @sg initially complained about and what I agree with was being invited to the ceremony and not the reception that is ass.
What @surreality seems to be talking about is people not getting an invitation to the ceremony and then showing up anyway which is complete and utter ass.

[surreality]

@ThatGuyThere We have technically decided to cheat and do everything at one place, since we're not church people. (I'm the only not-Catholic in the family.)

The not-Catholic part will proooooobably be made all the more obvious when a friend of my husband's, who is a licensed minister, handles the vows. We're probably going to use the ceremony from Flash Gordon, since other friends of his have the actual minister's costume from the film, and we are, in the end, crazy bastards.

[ThatGuyThere]

@surreality
If I get married, which is a pretty big if at this point. I will have the ultimate revenge wedding. All in Latin and as long as I can make it.
I have had to sit through so many this is when I get my payback.
Granted I have yet to be even close ot getting married so that about as likely and my when I become a millionaire ideas.

[surreality]

@ThatGuyThere That is evil genius. Here's hoping you will get the chance.

[Tinuviel]

@ThatGuyThere A nice resource can be found here. Just saying.

[Cupcake]

Today is the 3rd year anniversary of my employment at this company. They give out number balloons on your employment anniversary, but I've never gotten one. I feel completely childish for feeling fussy about this, but dammit, I WANT MY BALLOON and some acknowledgement of my efforts.

[Roz]

@Cupcake said in RL Anger:

Today is the 3rd year anniversary of my employment at this company. They give out number balloons on your employment anniversary, but I've never gotten one. I feel completely childish for feeling fussy about this, but dammit, I WANT MY BALLOON and some acknowledgement of my efforts.

Man, that's not childish or fussy. If they literally give out these balloons to EVERYONE BUT YOU, it's totally normal to feel unacknowledged, because -- you're not being acknowledged!