Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff
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@eye8urcake one of my nieces had similar issues when she was born. It was very taxing on my sister who had some difficulties feeding her and, as a consequence of her physical issues, the child developed infantile anorexia.
The good news however is that Elle has blossomed into a lovely, healthy young woman. Although it's kind of fucked that this is what it apparently takes to have the right look, she's worked as a child model (with very close supervision) so you know, she has remained underweight but apart from that she's vibrant and physically active. I recently made the cross-continental trip to attend her Bat Mitzvah and I honestly couldn't be prouder. She's smart, brave, sassy and morally-driven. So those issues do not define her though understandably, her mother will always worry.
@surreality said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
Never give up your right to argue (barring spaces that disallow it for whatever reason, provided said reason is reasonable, obviously).
No, really.
Sometimes -- and I think I can say with some confidence that it has happened here a whole hell of a lot, really -- it leads to pointlessly gripey angst.
But even then, it means people are thinking. Brains are working, even if they're wandering far afield of sense now and then. (We're all susceptible; it's part of being human.)
Brains working is good.
It's OK to disagree with people. Most of us were socialized to be pleasers to some extent or another, in some way or another, but those ways tell us 'don't speak up and don't argue or disagree'. Well, fuck that.
If you wanna avoid it because it's causing undue stress in your life, or is otherwise doing you harm? Go for it; always take care of you, y'know?
Just don't do it because someone else tells you 'you should just fall in line', that it's pointless, or similar. Those people are the ones the word 'defenestration' is best used in regard to.
I'm not giving up my right to disagree with people; I'm just going to try and stop getting into heated political debates etc., though we'll see how long I can keep that up tbh. (I wasn't kidding when I said I was already finding it to be a struggle.)
I'm opinionated and honestly it's bad for my mental health. I need to stop caring what strangers on the internet think or feeling like it's my job to tell them why they're wrong because it's ineffective and accomplishes nothing other than souring the community and bringing out my worst side. I don't want to be that kind of person. I don't want to feel angry/emotional all the time. I feel enough climate/political grief as it is without letting the toxicity of faceless strangers poison me.
EDIT: gl with your ER appointment, also.
@Rinel: I do know adults who are genuinely happy. I am not one of them. At risk of sounding like I'm peddling new age bullshit though, the closest indications I've found for what makes them happy is a combination of community, family, physical activity and ikigai.
Some of this can be chased; some of it is down to luck. I can't choose my family so on that front I'm a bit fucked, but I know the closest I've felt to peace has been doing fulfilling work in a team of like-minded people in a remote enough location that we had to spend a good amount of time together bonding etc. Good luck — to both of us.
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@Kestrel We've argued about stuff in the past, to be certain, but fwiw, I don't think this ever made you a horrible human being. (No snark or sarcasm intended in any of this.)
I can seriously empathize with the feeling that people are baiting or otherwise being disingenuous and, frankly, awful. I hate how much I get sucked into that crap, too, even when I see the glaring neon sign that reads: 'it's a trap!' (And then I hate it all the more when it's actually... not.)
It definitely sucks, but there is some small consolation in knowing it doesn't happen unless (general) you give a shit, which is not an inherently bad thing.
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Update: This hospital is part of the Children's Miracle network so I guess scuffed and dinged neonates are a specialty. Their NICU has a camera on each unit that the parents get login info for so they can see their babies even when they can't be there. This is really cool and has really made my daughter and son-in-law feel a lot better about taking care of other things, like their older child.
I'm someone who cringes about the proliferation of surveillance like... everywhere but, wow, if there's a good use, I feel like this is definitely one.
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@eye8urcake Congratulations on your new family member.
And welcome to grandparenthood.
You're officially an old fart now.
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@Tyche I have two other grandkids and one more on the way. I am a Platinum Old Fart, lol, and in good company.
Thanks for the well-wishes!
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Appointment for minor surgery set up for tomorrow, 9am.
Of all the dumb crap I've had to do over the years, I've had to do this once before, and it was hands-down the most awful thing. The teeth stuff? Sucks. The almost dying due to a spazzy gall bladder thing? Sucked. This? The most minor and yet most 'ohgodno' by miles.
...that is literally all the adult I've got in me for the day, I need to save up the rest for tomorrow.
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@eye8urcake said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
I was hoping to have good well better I guess news to post here but...
Baby Isla was born at 159p Pacific time on 12/31. She had managed to pass some stool before, during or shortly after birth (right in the middle of birth South Lake Tahoe lost Internet and cell service for hours and hours so I aged 20 years stressing on WHAT IS HAPPENING and lots of other stuff happened so I'm not 100% on which which apparently makes a huge difference) so they were hopeful about her intestines at first.
Then my daughter fed her and it didn't go so well and rush imaging showed there's definitely a blockage so they've taken the baby to NICU and put her on IV and some kind of stomach vaccuum to get the stuff she ate out (so the obstruction doesn't grow) in preparation for surgery.
If all goes well she may be sorted out and healed enough to be home by February.
Does anybody know if (hospital in NV, residence in CA, if it matters) since she was born before 1/1 the deduction starts over or if it's on the 2019 one?
From one NICU family to another - YOU GOT THIS. The NICU is scary, especially at first, but the doctors there are the best in the hospital, and so are the nurses. Let them do their thing and just focus on being there and being present. Even when being there is taking turns rotating who is bedside and who is in the waiting room.
I got tons more advice, but none of it is important right now. Just be there.
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@eye8urcake said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
@Tyche I have two other grandkids and one more on the way. I am a Platinum Old Fart, lol, and in good company.
I only have two, so I guess I'm just a gold old fart.
Hopefully I can get the boy married off, so I can get platinum status.
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Just as an update, I'm currently getting my house together a bit more. I'm repairing things after my parents neglected it and hoarded things for so long.The cleaning bill for their hoarding was like $2000+, but it was worth it.
My bedroom studio setup is almost done. The "completed" (hahahaha) setup will have these things from this board I made: https://www.pinterest.com/DuanSparkles/my-music-setup/
I have roughly half those things already, but I'm chugging along.
I'm doing a little bit of freelancing. It's not the most reliable thing but it gives me a little money every now and then. My current projects are a Mutants & Masterminds book for Green Ronin, and a Pathfinder book for Paizo.
Oh and if you're curious about anything I've done in the past, I was one of the freelancers on this book: https://paizo.com/products/btpy9vmf?Aethera-Campaign-Setting
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Seasonal Affective Disorder (on top of my major depressive) + stress knowing I'll be unemployed come the 10th = even my 'no touchy' ass could really use a hug today.
I half wanna be anti-social af and half want someone to be here keeping me company. Ugh.
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Managed to not actually freak out or cry during surgery. Not a minor feat.
Found out the new doc screwed up one of my prescriptions, whee. Now I get to fix that.
C'mon, y'all... don't fuck with the medication that stops me from freaking out and shaking right when you give me damned good reason to do so.
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Update: OMG the hoop-jumping 'you-should-have-mentioned-that-in-June-assholes' bullshit of this day.
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Early AM surgery. I have had people drilling straight up into my skull while I was fully conscious after ripping out all of my teeth, morphine shot straight into a drip going right to my heart (that's a head-spinner, holy crap), and been given a custom special snowflake organ of my very own on the fly on the operating table, but this specific sort of surgery is the absolute worst to me and is my #1 body horror 'I would like to curl into an increasingly tiny ball until that ball becomes small enough to enter the quantum realm' headspace to even think about, let alone have to go through for the third time. It was not fun.
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Nothing for the pain, and there is plenty of pain. (My brain is flashing back to Wanda Sykes on John Oliver giving heavy side eye while saying: ibuprofen right now.) I guess the bonus here is no heavy emo mind trip, but holy shit ow.
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Get back hoping my normal scrips have been refilled. NOPE! 'We need you to come in to verify which you need and why.' "Didn't I do that in June? There were zero issues then." "Oh, we want you to do it again." "OK, but they're already a month or more overdue and this is a serious issue... and why didn't you mention this when I called earlier in the week?" "We were going to get back to you. She has an opening at the end of this month on the 24th... " "NO." "...well you can come in today to see one of the supervising physicians today-" "I literally just got home from surgery." "Next opening is on the 21st, at-" "...see you in a few hours."
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Pay (again) to see someone (again) to verify all the medication provisionally, still have to schedule with the usual person (AGAIN) on the 5th of Feb to verify this all (AGAIN)... (...the day after the NEXT dental surgery, naturally! When I will be OH SO PLEASANT I'M SURE!)
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"Sure, I don't mind if the usual scrip for that is halved, I only use about half of it anyway." Apparently HALVED was not interpreted as 'half of what you get for a month*', but 'half of what you get for a month *that now must last six months'. EXCUSE ME? I would like to be able to walk sometimes, k thx. That is not HALF in any sane universe. Can y'all even math?
Dear Tits: this is why you're ideally getting hacked off this year if the insurance company isn't a bag of wank about it (hahahahahaha what are the odds though), seriously. I'm not going through this particular wankery again, no matter how much I love you.
ETA: tl;dr: OMG so over quota on adulting, I would be rolling around on the floor kicking stuffed animals and making yowly noises with my cat if I wasn't in too much pain to manage it.
Oh fucking well.
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@surreality That sounds like a huge fucking nighmare. Holy shit.
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@surreality damn that is a bad day. I'm so sorry, mate.
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Thank you both. It's been... yeah, Friday can die in a fire.
(This message brought to you by 'you will have to sleep in a bra for the next three weeks', aka 'guess who won't be able to sleep for the next three weeks'.)
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I've had an issue lately where whenever I stretch out / extend my left arm, it causes a sharp pain followed by an ongoing ache. I'm not sure WHY it's been happening but I'd like it to be done now.
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So, first day at work. Boss is super chill (despite me sugar crashing in front of him), and takes me to see the cafeteria and cafe- Down to the basement and literally underground all the way around the building. My spine was KILLING me. I had to stop halfway back. My calves (already knotted from not sleeping last night to anxiety) are killing me.
But the job seems okay, the boss keeps getting distracted and chit chatting with me. Coworker I will sit next too seems super awesome, and the sports chat was awesome.
Of course - I forgot my lunch on my first day like a BOSS.
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We got married on 1/1 and I could not be prouder and our combined family could not be more ecstatic. We got married on our farm in East Texas. Our children and a hundred or so of our friends and family joined us. For those of you that know my heart basketball is important and ball is life.
I took my sons to NBA Summer League for the tournament this year in Vegas and there she was. I started talking and it just grew from there. Turned out we live minutes from each other in Texas. Turns out we both lived overseas in the same place overlapping for four years (South Korea) with one of us in the military and the other a college professor. Our paths crossed, we even have pictures with each other in it in the periphery.
And as things progressed love was born. Had we met then we would have likely never gotten here. It's funny how things turn out.
Life is good. Love is great. If I die tomorrow I could not have asked for a better run.
Happy.
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fuuuuuuuuuuuck cedar
