@kk I don't know the circumstances for the healthcare industry. I do know the Peter Principle is valid, however, so it sounds like you've made the right call by positioning yourself where you are at your very best.
In IT the managerial path just made sense for me especially as I got older. It's harder to keep up with new emerging technologies while competing with hungry people in their 20s who can afford to stay up all night and still wake up at 8. On the other hand putting all that energy to work and helping them succeed is a treat, and one of the best parts of my job is to see someone I've mentored do well for themselves and outgrow their role.
@arkandel said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
It makes me unreasonably content to have the means to exercise again in my garage.
It's not about being strong; I don't play sports during the pandemic. It's not about looking good; I barely go out during the pandemic. It's not even about being healthy, or not entirely.
I've realized I need the incentive to look after myself properly though and without goals and structure I cannot do this. Or, rather, I haven't; in the last year and a half I've taken terrible care of myself. I ate badly, dressed the bare minimum needed to sit in front of a web camera for meetings every morning, and I didn't have a reason to care.
For whatever reason having some iron to lift up and put down again works for me. It gives me a reason to look after the rest of my life. And it makes me feel good about it in ways I didn't realize I was missing until they came back.
I have most of a home gym, really, and I used the hell out of it during the pandemic. To the point where I am soon going to need new weight plates.
Which now cost an absolutely insane amount of money, wtf. I remember when I could get a set of 2 25lb olympic plates for like 39.99, and now it's like, 99.99 for one.
What the hell.
Racism isn't Tinkerbell. It doesn't need you to believe in it for it to exist.
Iron's nice, but bows are sweet.
I'll dish out $200 for a well-made bow with a large number of resistance bands. It's lighter; it smells better, and I can do it in my frackin' bedroom.
@aria said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
It is an utterly thankless job where you receive very little praise, if any, when you do an amazing job but man, do you hear it when you screw up. And also, your job is super critical to the basic functioning of the highest levels of management, but most people are going to talk to you like it's a miracle you can do more than schedule a meeting and order catering.
I've gotten this a few times as a paralegal. There are attorneys who understand what I do, and how important it is to the functioning of whatever firm or agency I'm working for at the time.
And then there are those assholes who think that I'm there because I'm obligated to be there, and they could totally do it without me if needed so it's fine if they are completely terrible.
The team I work for right now has been 99.97% great with one uncomfortable encounter with a supervisor that didn't understand how much my responsibilities have ballooned as a result of the pandemic, so I'll take it.
ETA:
I have not found a bow setup that I like. They're great for upper body work in a dynamic range but I also do a lot of squats and military presses and such and by the time I figure out a bow setup that works for all of that it takes up just as much space and ends up being more expensive. 
Racism isn't Tinkerbell. It doesn't need you to believe in it for it to exist.
@derp said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
@arkandel said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
It makes me unreasonably content to have the means to exercise again in my garage.
It's not about being strong; I don't play sports during the pandemic. It's not about looking good; I barely go out during the pandemic. It's not even about being healthy, or not entirely.
I've realized I need the incentive to look after myself properly though and without goals and structure I cannot do this. Or, rather, I haven't; in the last year and a half I've taken terrible care of myself. I ate badly, dressed the bare minimum needed to sit in front of a web camera for meetings every morning, and I didn't have a reason to care.
For whatever reason having some iron to lift up and put down again works for me. It gives me a reason to look after the rest of my life. And it makes me feel good about it in ways I didn't realize I was missing until they came back.
I have most of a home gym, really, and I used the hell out of it during the pandemic. To the point where I am soon going to need new weight plates.
Which now cost an absolutely insane amount of money, wtf. I remember when I could get a set of 2 25lb olympic plates for like 39.99, and now it's like, 99.99 for one.
What the hell.
Part of that is that a bunch of people all started to build home gyms during the pandemic so that's supply versus demand. But more than that it's the price of iron/steel. It's going up globally, and it'll continue to be.
I already ordered some more plates (mostly 10s and 5s as well as fractionals) since it's reasonable to expect them to go even higher.
Edit: added a source.
@derp said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
I have not found a bow setup that I like. They're great for upper body work in a dynamic range but I also do a lot of squats and military presses and such and by the time I figure out a bow setup that works for all of that it takes up just as much space and ends up being more expensive.
Squats are simple: set the bow on your shoulders and the bands under your feet; go less on the resistance and more on the reps.
For military presses: find a column; disengage the bands from the bow and attach to handles; use the column as the focus; and press as if you're at a cable station. You can also use a bench for this if it has a support strut between its legs.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
If you already have plates and a barbell, I'd also look at a landmine accessory. You can also use a corner to anchor the bar against, but it might scratch it. There are so many exercises you can do using different grips.
What worked really well for me was this, although there are like 10 different products almost identical to it on Amazon. They all work just as well, and they're relatively cheap. Basically as long as you have a sturdy object to attach the handle on (a 2x4 beam, a firmly screwed bolt, etc) you can use it for pulldowns, curls, facepulls, rows, etc. It's graded for 200+lbs which is good enough for most people since you can alter the angle, and thus the resistance.
@rinel The details are none of my business, but try to remember:
It's hard work. It's hard work and it's bound to be painful, but it's also necessary.
You are not limited to only ever working with one specific person. Finding the right mental health team can sometimes take several tries.
Don't give up! I am rooting for you.
"If you stand for nothing Burr, what will you fall for?"
-- Hamilton: An American Musical
I may have moved my first day to Monday after sitting in a dazed and horrified stupor all of yesterday
I'm so tired of being tired.
I'm going to have a good cry and a good sleep soon, and those things will make it better until the next time. The next time will probably be a long way away.
I just wish it would leave me alone.
It's really weird how little we know or see even in the people we think we know the most.
I have a friend. We no longer talk as much as we used to, but I met him when I was 15 and he was 13, and used to hang out at his and his brother's house on a very regular basis over the years. We played Magic and D&D together, moved on to Vampire: the Masquerade, we went to (different) schools and hanged out during the summer. We ended up even being coworkers later on for a year and a half, literally in the same office. I've known the guy for 30 fucking years.
Neither of us had any idea we were both big time into basketball. All that time. He went and played with his group, I with mine. We watched games separately. It just never came up in any of our conversations over all that time.
I found out this week because I happened to see a reply of his on a post about the Portland Trailblazers' playoffs exit and when I sent him a WTF?! post thinking he might have at least gotten into it just recently... nope.
What the fuck. How much more have I missed about everyone I know? How much have they? How is this possible!
@arkandel said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
It's really weird how little we know or see even in the people we think we know the most.
I have a friend. We no longer talk as much as we used to, but I met him when I was 15 and he was 13, and used to hang out at his and his brother's house on a very regular basis over the years. We played Magic and D&D together, moved on to Vampire: the Masquerade, we went to (different) schools and hanged out during the summer. We ended up even being coworkers later on for a year and a half, literally in the same office. I've known the guy for 30 fucking years.
Neither of us had any idea we were both big time into basketball. All that time. He went and played with his group, I with mine. We watched games separately. It just never came up in any of our conversations over all that time.
I found out this week because I happened to see a reply of his on a post about the Portland Trailblazers' playoffs exit and when I sent him a WTF?! post thinking he might have at least gotten into it just recently... nope.
What the fuck. How much more have I missed about everyone I know? How much have they? How is this possible!
My favorite was probably the time one of my coworkers saw me reply on a Facebook post and lost his mind, wanting to know why I was on that person's page. I, meanwhile, wanted to know how he could even see it.
Turns out his childhood best friend of 25 years and one of my high school best friend had been college roommates and despite us both going to multiple parties and group dinners with the respective best friends, we somehow were never at the same one at the same time.
So Mike and I literally sat two desks apart from each other for four years, with no idea that when we were sharing stories about our weekend plans with old friends, we were talking about the same people.
https://whatiswrongwith.me/Mia
There were never any good old days. They are today. They are tomorrow. It's a stupid thing we say, cursing tomorrow with sorrow. -- Gogol Bordello
@aria Hahahah! The world is a small place. 
I guess though it depends on how big or small a city you live in.
I have one more for the losers' club.
In my second job (so I was still in my twenties) I was coworkers with this guy for three years. At some point we starter chatting and realized we went to highschool together... and we were in the same class.
I guess neither of us was memorable but damn, at that point it had been less than ten years!
@arkandel said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
@aria Hahahah! The world is a small place.
In Philly? 1.5 million people. In the metro area? 6 million.
The thing is, for as massive a population as that is.... there was a period there where my husband and I could not go to events in the city without running into at least one person that we knew. (The suburbs not so much, but.)
It was because we had both worked for several years at one of the more popular haunted attractions in the area, which tended to attract a certain crowd as far as seasonal employees go. So we'd go to the punk rock flea market... and run into three of our coworkers. I'd walk across UPenn's campus to the art school... and my manager would be biking to a class where he was modeling. We'd go to Dicken's Christmas Village... and the tour guide would be trying to maintain a straight face instead of laughing at seeing us out of zombie makeup.
Even the last thing we went to before the pandemic hit? A Silversun Pickups concert. We're standing at the merch booth and these two women a few people ahead of us in line turn around and.... it's my friend Laura, who used to live on the same floor as Insomniac and I in our first apartment building. She and her husband were around the corner and two doors down. A year before that? She and I were talking about our taste in perfumes and how she has a hard time finding her favorite one in the US. So I send her a Facebook message about the perfume shop I go to because I'm friends with the owner and tag him in it. Turns out they went to high school together.
Philly = the biggest 'small town' in world.
I have some friends who are running a Gofundme for their dad's medical expenses. He's suffering through the consequences of a life of alcoholism and some people take a pretty hard line stance against helping out with that out here where I live, which is frankly just shitty imho, so I figured going a little further afield might help.
Anything would be appreciated to help alleviate some of the burden on a pretty rad fam!
@wizz I have a weird stance on this. Like there's part of me that wants to just roll my eyes and be like... did it to themselves.
And then there's the other (thankfully more dominant) part of me, that realizes some people can not break habits for a million reasons. I can't quit caffeine. I mean, I've been 'clean' for a couple of weeks, a couple of times, after hospital stints for surgery and things... but I always go back.
If I wasn't tapped out with moving, I would try to give something. I hope they get what they need, so no one is left crushed with medical debt.
My husband learned that one of his mentors died today and that was very sad. Then we found out it was being investigated as a suicide and it is just so much more now.
Yeah, I appreciate the latter sentiment a lot, and I hope they get the help they need too. Medical debt is the fucking worst.
As for the former I am really not here to try and argue with anyone who is on the fence about it because they think addicts deserve to suffer and/or die. I disagree pretty strongly but it's your nickel.
@wizz It's weird, because I don't think addicts deserve to suffer. But there's that small part of my brain, that has that... dismissive sort of thing? I think it's more because when I would ask for help with something as a kid, I got told I did it to myself...a lot.
Honestly, this is just one of those things where you don't know until you know, and then you wish you didn't know.
I'm addicted to anxiety medication. I don't abuse it, but I can't quit it. I tried to taper off for like 6 months, and was left such a shivering, awful mess of a human being that I had to go back on, and I despise every minute of it. If my supply were cut off, I'd find ways to not feel the way I had to feel in withdrawal.
Prior to this? I felt a bit like you. Mostly getting it, but with that tiny voice of judgey-judgey.
Now I get it. I wish I didn't.
I would encourage you to attempt to empathize without ever having to relate. As much as it's improved my worldview to see how this shit really isn't someone's fault, or a failure or being weak-willed, I wish I didn't find out this way.
@rinel The details are none of my business, but try to remember:
It's hard work. It's hard work and it's bound to be painful, but it's also necessary.
You are not limited to only ever working with one specific person. Finding the right mental health team can sometimes take several tries.
Don't give up! I am rooting for you.
