Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.
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@il-volpe Thanks. I was worried you were cleaning up after a death.
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I have a friend I've been hanging out with lately who just doesn't explain herself, and I envy her so much. It's just ridiculous. Like, hanging out has made me realize more and more that any time I'm asked something or obligated to give an opinion, I have this deeply ingrained ritual of apologizing for having thoughts on the matter, and then laying them out really thoroughly so they aren't just immediately discarded, and then leaving caveats for how I probably don't know what I'm talking about anyway just in case the other people around want to disagree, and then I apologize for taking up time talking about it.
If I ask her if she wants to do something and she doesn't it's just "No", and like, she feels no compulsion to provide any detail whatsoever as to why. I wish that were me =|
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Partner: I was thinking of cooking tonight. You deserve a break.
I do love to cook, but I also cook because I like to eat and I learned very early on in our relationship that, as smart and wonderful as she is, she'd make Anne Burrell cry.
How do I gently tell her that I'd rather cook for myself without making it obvious that I fear for my life?
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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@ganymede said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
How do I gently tell her that I'd rather cook for myself without making it obvious that I fear for my life?
Just tell her you love cooking and it is your way to decompress after work?
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@ganymede said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
Partner: I was thinking of cooking tonight. You deserve a break.
I do love to cook, but I also cook because I like to eat and I learned very early on in our relationship that, as smart and wonderful as she is, she'd make Anne Burrell cry.
How do I gently tell her that I'd rather cook for myself without making it obvious that I fear for my life?
Offer to take her or order a nice dinner instead? Gives you the break from cooking she was seeking to give you and saves your stomach.
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Yeah, see, she knows I like cooking. I think she just wants to cook for me. Which is sweet, but what she’ll make will probably taste like sadness.
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@ganymede said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
Yeah, see, she knows I like cooking. I think she just wants to cook for me. Which is sweet, but what she’ll make will probably taste like sadness.
Could you cook something together? Maybe where she gets the chance to Do Something for you, and you can gently keep her from veering off into the lands of food sadness?
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@ganymede Sometimes you just gotta smile through the meal your loved one makes you.
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@greenflashlight said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
Sometimes you just gotta smile through the meal your loved one makes you.
I have sacrificed much in this relationship, but sacrificing a meal is yet to be one.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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There's a first time for everything. It doesn't sound like there's a way to avoid making a choice between eating the bad food and hurting her feelings. If it helps, I always ate the bad food, and it never killed me. Oh yes darling, your delightfully undercooked pasta salad is just the way I like it (mental note: do not buy the ingredients at the grocery to allow for this to be made again).
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My take on it was to cook my own food. There was some friction at first since we ended up making twice the effort but in the long run it simply worked better. My S.O. can eat what I make or make/order something else, and vice versa.
Granted that's because I am also a very boring eater who, once I find something I like, I can have the same meal over and over again for weeks at a time. I don't need variety. It's perfectly understandable others might not care for or tolerate that though.
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@sunny said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
Oh yes darling, your delightfully undercooked pasta salad is just the way I like it
I will take "delightfully undercooked pasta salad." David's pasta is like, "Oooh, mashed potatoes! ...oh. Spaghetti, you say..."
Racism isn't Tinkerbell. It doesn't need you to believe in it for it to exist.
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And thus the noodle wars began.
I have a waggish sense of humor.
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@sunny said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
There's a first time for everything.
A public orgy it is, then.
It doesn't sound like there's a way to avoid making a choice between eating the bad food and hurting her feelings.
She knows how I feel about her cooking.
If it helps, I always ate the bad food, and it never killed me.
There's a first time for everything.
(Note: I know there is no good solution, but I'm mostly grousing and laughing at this point.)
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@sunny Dangit, now you've reminded me I know a really nice deviled egg pasta salad recipe. I night have to run to the store for stuff.
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@misadventure said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
And thus the noodle wars began.
I will fight the al dente war until the streets run gold with olive oil.
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@greenflashlight ..devilled egg pasta salad recipe? Tell me more.
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Adam, ranting: Why do I bother? Why do I even cook?
Assistant: Because you're hungry?
Adam: What did you just say?
Assistant: Nothing.
Adam: Oh, you did. You said something. Say it. Say it!
Assistant: Because you're hungry.
Adam: Yes. Because I'm hungry. I, Adam, am hungry! I want to eat! And what do I want to eat? Something that you made? No! I want something good. I want something that I made!
Northern Exposure (1990–1995): Season 4, Episode 21 - "The Big Feast"
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My RL gripe is that time moves ever onwards.
Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" is twenty today. This is unacceptable.
He/Him
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@tinuviel said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
My RL gripe is that time moves ever onwards.
Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" is twenty today. This is unacceptable.
Yeah, I felt like that when they said Eminem was nominated for induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year. The only formal criteria for the performance category is that an artist has to have had their first record 25 years ago. I died inside a little.
