Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.
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@Packrat FWIW, I do this, my husband does this, my parents do, my second cousins and their kids do. I think it's more common than you think.
ETA: I blame the cats for their talent re: sleeping so easily. So jealous.
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@Auspice The cat thing in specific? Not at all, that is just the most recent example I can think of. It particularly shook me up given that I have been isolated for about a month now and so most of my 'personal contact' is with my cats. The cat in question seemed pretty chill with the situation and hugged my hand with her paws whilst I scritched her chest and she sleepily blinked at me, probably wondering why I was being weird and had woken her from her sleep.
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@surreality said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@Packrat FWIW, I do this, my husband does this, my parents do, my second cousins and their kids do. I think it's more common than you think.
ETA: I blame the cats for their talent re: sleeping so easily. So jealous.
They also have a particularly inert sort of look to them while they're asleep. I try not to wake them up, but there are plenty of times I see a napping cat and take a minute to make sure I can see them breathing.
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So, because of everyone ever being unemployed, I don't have any word on my unemployment claim. So while I have started work from home, I have no money coming in, and like... 4 million bills hitting all at once. My anxiety is screaming, I keep bursting into tears, and it's screwing up my sugar levels. Which all just serves to piss me off and make me grumpy.
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@Macha It's been three weeks since I filed but I haven't gotten the first cent from them yet. So yeah. Be prepared to wait.
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@Darren That's really not helping, Thanks.
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The stimulus checks are going out. I got mine yesterday.
So if you filed your taxes w/direct deposit this year or last, expect to see it anytime now (if you haven't already). -
@Auspice My bank's online banking and app are down right now, too. So I can't even check my balance and try to figure things out.
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I'm just waiting and worrying that for some reason I'm wholly unaware of, I'm ineligible.
Also I keep bursting into tears, because depression.
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I definitely feel this so hard I can't even. Mine is more anxiety, but I just crash and burn so often right now. I don't even have half the problems a lot of you are dealing with.
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@Rinel Yep. Tears. I would hug you if I could.
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Today's peeve ---
My anxiety and what I do to myself. -- So I guess my peeve is myself?
People will say I'm upset at X behavior. Or X happened and I'm upset.
My Brain: I immediately go -- OMG it's me. They hate me. Should I apologize? Wait, what if they dont want to talk to me and then that's harassing. Oh no. I said a thing and got no reply, I overstepped. QUICK apologize. No wait, should I leave it be? AGGGHHHH
My logic: Umm.. you haven't talked to that person. That is not even in your behavior pattern. It cannot in any conceivable way be you.
My brain: But what if it IS my behavior pattern and I just don't recognize it because I'm behavior blind:
My logic: ....
My logic: So xanax or shots?
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@RightMeow I feel this one SO HARD.
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@RightMeow said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
Today's peeve ---
My anxiety and what I do to myself. -- So I guess my peeve is myself?
People will say I'm upset at X behavior. Or X happened and I'm upset.
My Brain: I immediately go -- OMG it's me. They hate me. Should I apologize? Wait, what if they dont want to talk to me and then that's harassing. Oh no. I said a thing and got no reply, I overstepped. QUICK apologize. No wait, should I leave it be? AGGGHHHH
My logic: Umm.. you haven't talked to that person. That is not even in your behavior pattern. It cannot in any conceivable way be you.
My brain: But what if it IS my behavior pattern and I just don't recognize it because I'm behavior blind:
My logic: ....
My logic: So xanax or shots?
As I have often explained, it's deeply aggravating to both be intelligent and/or self-aware and to have a psychiatric disorder. Especially because people are like "Oooooooooooooh! Your brain is shiny and does the smart things!", without realizing it can do that and also malfunction on a fundamental level.
Yes, I am perfectly well aware that the thing my brain is doing right now is not only illogical, but in fact counterproductive. That doesn't mean I can make it stop doing the thing. Or that the coping strategy which I've developed is remotely healthy or helpful. That isn't how this works. That isn't how any of this works and believe me, person who is looking at me like I'm crazypants. You're right. I am. I know that. And I am even more frustrated with this dumb pile of goo between my ears than you are.
TL;DR - Muttering "ohmigod, why are you like this?!?" at yourself is a larger part of mental illness than you might think.
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Me to my brain:
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@Auspice said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
The stimulus checks are going out. I got mine yesterday.
So if you filed your taxes w/direct deposit this year or last, expect to see it anytime now (if you haven't already).Just got mine, too so yes, they are definitely being sent out.
Updated to add: I just found out that I was supposed to be logging on to the unemployment site once per week and answering some questions, which is apparently the reason why I have not gotten any $$ from them yet >.<
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Woke up to this.
.....how about no, whoever the fuck you are.
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For awhile we had a reprieve at work from having nearly all calls be from inconsolable people that we could not help. Now tomorrow it is back to that, I'm trying to gird up but really I just feel my heart breaking again.
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Well, unemployment had a super quick turn around. So that's nice - bills are paid and I don't have to freak out. Work, on the other hand, is harder than hell to focus on. I feel like I'm failing all over the place. I have to use my cellphone to call clients, so my id is blocked, so people aren't answering. I need to talk to them to really do my job. Bleh.
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Digital inking is not actually my irk, even though it's irking the shit out of me right now.
The hand cramps are not actually my irk, even though they're irking the shit out of me right now.
My 'SOME MINOR THING IS NOT RIGHT YET'-ness is not actually my irk, even though it's irking the shit out of me right now.
What's annoying the shit out of me, well and fucking truly? Inking (and watercolor) was absolutely my jam. I had all the tiniest rotring rapidographs by the time I was ten and I loved workin' that shit, so I did it constantly until my mid-20s, way back in ye olden 90s.
I would have thought not messing with them for as long as I did, my hands might have shaken the religious adherence to the style I had then, which my hands just knew rote.
NOPE.
Rassa-frassa unlearning old habits. Muthafeckin' new tools learning curve.
Things looking better before I 'inked' them is just... not OK, universe. On some level, this feels like trying to thread a needle in oven mitts.
I have no actual business bitching. I don't. It's going pretty well, considering. Not where I want to be, but better than I expected. Still, I'mma nitpick the fuck out of every 'getting used to the tools' scratchymark in the wrong place.
