<stares at work email>
No, Ben. No. No one else in the entire department is having issues with the application.
All three incident management emails which I wrote, the login error message, and the bright red notification on the application hub screen that I pushed out were all things I put together today just for you.
By all means, please send out a department-wide blast to 136 people, including my boss's boss's boss's boss to ask what's going on and ask if anyone can help you, instead of reading literally any single one of the five fucking things that popped up on your screen today about this.
Y'know, the ones that the other 135 people in the department managed to read just fine.