Another fun thing is the Unspoken Sun Tzu Law of Urinal Selection. No one fucking taught me this but I guarantee that if you go to a restroom to stand to pre, you know this.
Say there are six urinals. (Which, for the sake of fun, will be marked with a 'P'.) EMPTY urinals are '0' and the number is which order people arrive to pee in.
P-P-P-P-P-P
Pick any which one that you want, but usually one to either far side is appropriate because...
P-P-P-P-P-P
1-0-0-0-0-2
If one is on one side the other goes over there, which means...
P-P-P-P-P-P
1-0-3-3-0-2
Guy #3 can choose either or. No big deal.
P-P-P-P-P-P
1-6-5-3-4-2
Above is "Halftime at the game, all spaces taken. No one really talks."
Here are some other known configs...
P-P-P-P-P-P
1-0-2-0-0-0
Relatives, perhaps. People flying together. The one-urinal buffer zone is kind of like when 2 people go to a movie but aren't on a date so they don't sit next to each other. That seat in between means "Whoa, I'll watch Ant Man with you but I ain't fucking you after..."
P-P-P-P-P-P
1-2-0-0-0-0
So...this is where it gets interesting. If there are 5 urinal spaces open and someone for no reason chooses the one next to yours, it opens up this choose your own adventure game...
-
They might be looking at your dick. In some cases they probably are. In some cases it's probably totally cool. If it's not cool...
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...it's terribly awkward if they don't talk to you and are NOT looking at your dick. YOU HAVE GOT TO TALK OR ELSE IT'S FLIRTING. Suggested dialogue includes...
- Hey that meeting at 4 got changed to a Skype meeting.
- So I picked up that new Call of Duty game, holy shit.
- God, bro didja see the Yankees are getting murdered by the Cubbies? Fuckin A.
- You're both murderers and need to quietly whisper mafia hit man stuff to each other.
...but they're probably looking at your penis because they could have said that from the urinal on the far side.
I guarantee you this is actual logic in play that NO ONE REALLY FUCKING TALKS ABOUT but if you stand to piss at a urinal I guarantee you're also reading this and nodding your head right now.