Sexuality: IC and OOC

[Cobalt]

@Testament said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

Mostly play straight male characters. Occasionally(very occasionally, infact I can only think of one)will I play a bi female.

Nowadays, I play asexual, mildly sociopathic male characters. Because I just can't give two shits about romance RP or TS anymore. There's very little interesting in it for me anymore. There used to be a time when I loved all the romance stuff.

And now? Zero interest.

This is me lately, too. I have pretty much zero interest in playing out real romantic relationships. I'm fine with playing somewhat flirty characters, or those who use romance to get what they want, but playing out a real love story doesn't really interest me.

[Cobalt]

@mietze said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

Usually when I have heard pansexual being used by people actually think of themselves as that, it means that they are open attracted to all forms of gender identity (not just male/female) and genitalia.

I think a significant number of people who prefer the term bi for themselves would fall into that category, but not all. (Not everyone is attracted to nonbinary or trans people, who is attracted to cis men and women).

This pretty much:

I use the term to describe myself, because in theory I'm attracted to any person, no matter their gender identity. Whether they are cis male, cis female, trans male, trans female, nonbineary, etc. If I'm going to get super into detail I'd consider myself pan-demi-sexual. In that as stated above, I'm open to being attracted to anyone no matter their gender identity, however, these days I require an emotional connection to someone to really be into them.

[Rinel]

Welp. This is going to go well.

The bias I've seen in MU* dom against women playing men is interesting to me. My non-MU* RP history has basically consisted of most of my RP acquaintances saying "lol dude why do you keep making female characters are you gay or something." And concern about that sort of judgment, or the judgment @surreality was making earlier about men RPing lesbians (although Rinel is bisexual, that tends to get erased when your character is in a gay relationship), was enough of a concern to me that I purposefully used gender neutral terms to refer to myself and my SO in OOC channels.

Turns out I'm a bisexual trans woman. So. Joke's on them. And me. Mostly on me. Anyway, the point is that I've mostly played who I am, even if I didn't know it at the time.

[Wretched]

@mietze @Auspice I once had my PC's female partner pose my PC's pen15 penetrating her cervix, and I was plenty weirded out. Like that would hurt both of us.

[Sparks]

@Cobaltasaurus said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

@Testament said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

Mostly play straight male characters. Occasionally(very occasionally, infact I can only think of one)will I play a bi female.

Nowadays, I play asexual, mildly sociopathic male characters. Because I just can't give two shits about romance RP or TS anymore. There's very little interesting in it for me anymore. There used to be a time when I loved all the romance stuff.

And now? Zero interest.

This is me lately, too. I have pretty much zero interest in playing out real romantic relationships. I'm fine with playing somewhat flirty characters, or those who use romance to get what they want, but playing out a real love story doesn't really interest me.

Truth be told, playing out the love story itself has rarely been a priority or significant interest to me.

I think a lot of players focus on the love story as the actual story. Which, sadly, means all the enjoyment starts to drain out of the relationship once you reach the 'now we are in love' stage. After all, in romance novels, the book ends when the couple (or group) are together. And while there's nothing wrong with romance novels, they do have an actual clearly defined end, whereas RP on a MU* generally does not. So if what you enjoyed was the love story itself you'll start to get disappointed now that it is status quo, because you've finished the romance novel you were reading.

I am convinced that's the cause of a lot of those "we just don't see eye to eye anymore, he's cold and distant, and I have found solace in the arms of <other character>" situations: not that the player is flighty or flakey, per se, but that they still want the love story itself—whether consciously or unconsciously—and the only way to recapture that story is to start over with someone new. To start reading a new romance novel.

The long-term relationships I've loved playing out the most are where the meat of the story is what happens with the relationship after the love story, where the love story is just the setup, the prologue.

A political marriage where you slowly learn to love each other is great... but it's even better if that relationship forges into a long-term partnership where you can scheme together. Maybe it's a patriarchal society, but the queen consort becomes the silent partner behind closed doors, helping to guide things in secret. How do you make this work? What happens if a political opponent of the king learns about the queen's influence and feels it flies in the face of tradition?

You find your love... and then learn they're a member of a hidden organization that opposes all that you stand for. What do you? Do you try to pull them from that organization's clutches and redeem them? Do you feel betrayed and try to cut all ties? Do you allow them to drag you into the organization? Do you follow your heart or your head?

When you have a surprise wedding with the person you love... what happens next? If you're both nobles and the wedding happened without proper negotiations and contracts, what's the fallout of that? What family does the couple end up in? Does the other family feel slighted? How do you bridge the chasm your love story may have created socially and/or politically?

Those questions are way more interesting to me for long-term RP than the love story of "he's so perfect, and I love him for always", which will always have a defined end-point.

[mietze]

@Wretched I believe it.

[Ganymede]

@Sparks

I think it depends on what your definition of a love story is.

I really enjoy a good love story, but it's not the getting together that means the most. It's the trial and tribulations that happen during or after the relationship that makes it worthwhile.

There's the fun of stupid moments in public. There's the fun of tender moments in private. And there's also the fun of having another PC and player that you can have one-on-one scenes with doing whatever happens to be within the setting.

It doesn't have to be sexy times all the time. It's nice to have someone that you can RP with from time to time on a consistent basis, and have a reason to interact with.

I miss my relationships.

[Sparks]

@Ganymede That's fair. And I do really enjoy long-term relationship RP, and how it can affect characters, and have an established relationship with. I will admit I didn't consider that part the "love story"—rather the aftermath—but I can see some people meaning that when they refer to it as the 'love story'. And hey, if it's a sustainable relationship, that's great! Those are the best kinds!

But I do honestly believe many players who are into "love stories" in their RP are focused on the initial romantic arc—the "we love each other" and overcoming the obstacles in order to be together—and not what comes afterwards. And the relationship does not have to be about TS in order to qualify.

[Three-Eyed Crow]

@Ganymede
Yeah, I feel like a good relationship isn't a story in and out itself but adds texture and drama to ongoing plots (because when something's important to you it amplifies how you react to outside drama) and ideally the RP within it is more interesting than the hooking up parts. The other stuff is what I'm interested in playing, at least. I try to make it clear real quick to players who only seem interested in the build-up that I'm another type of player, and so far I've been mostly lucky in my RP partners and our styles have complimented each other in terms of this.

[Auspice]

@Ganymede said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

@Sparks

I think it depends on what your definition of a love story is.

I really enjoy a good love story, but it's not the getting together that means the most. It's the trial and tribulations that happen during or after the relationship that makes it worthwhile.

There's the fun of stupid moments in public. There's the fun of tender moments in private. And there's also the fun of having another PC and player that you can have one-on-one scenes with doing whatever happens to be within the setting.

It doesn't have to be sexy times all the time. It's nice to have someone that you can RP with from time to time on a consistent basis, and have a reason to interact with.

I miss my relationships.

This. But that's also why there's certain people I RP 'em with.

'Cause a lot of people reach the 'love' stage and just wanna lie around being all lovey-dovey and it's meh. Boring.

But I have a couple people I know I can RP a relationship with and there are trials and tribulations and struggle and actual meat to the story and I absolutely love the ride.

[Ganymede]

@Sparks said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

I will admit I didn't consider that part the "love story"—rather the aftermath—but I can see some people meaning that when they refer to it as the 'love story'. And hey, if it's a sustainable relationship, that's great! Those are the best kinds!

I concur with you that a lot of RPers think that the "love story" ends with the consummation of the relationship, but most of us old farts understand that this is just the beginning of either a very sweet ride or a shitstorm of ugly drama. That's life.

I like the long, slow burn for relationships. Probably why I can't find any for my PCs.

[mietze]

@Ganymede I am kind of hoping to find that eventually with my PC, though the romance part is optional, if there's a right player who is interested in fleshing out something that's currently offscreen. I do really missing having a partnership in play. It's super rewarding, romantic or otherwise.

[Pyrephox]

I love a good love story. I really do. But I absolutely admit that what I like /most/ is that period of tension, especially with rivals/opponents/potential enemies where wrestling with attraction is difficult and people are trying to manipulate each other. I want the UST to be through the roof, and flirtation, and will-they-won't-they, or an on again/off again relationship punctuated by periods of maybe even being on opposite sides (whether they're off or on), or things happen that strain the relationship. I don't really want unending angst, but I want TENSION. Conflict, whether it's internal to a character struggling between desires, or between the romantic characters, or whether it's imposed from without.

My ideal IC romantic relationship would be between two people who absolutely have no business being attracted to each other gradually coming to tolerate, then crave, one another, punctuated by occasionally trying to kill or ruin the other, but being /absolutely/ certain that 'nobody hurts them but ME'. All of it done somewhere between slow burn and buddy cop movie. And snark and flirtation liberally scattered in between.

[Ganymede]

@mietze

[Rucket]

@Kanye-Qwest said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

is there a right way to be a lesbian??

I assume the answer to this question in MUdom can best be represented by this gif:

[Rinel]

I don't know. I can't speak for "everyone," but the romantic RP Rinel had with Wynna was so incredibly good that Rinel taking up celibacy after Wynna's death was in no small part me OOCly not wanting to even try any other relationship with that character. It just wouldn't feel right. And it's the late night study sessions and comfortable talking that I have the fondest memories of, not the early budding romance.

I think this is just a huge YMMV thing.

[Alamias]

I've enjoyed relationship RP many times, and not always lovey dovey. I find that conflict sometimes breeds good RP if you are with the right people.

I'm always down for good RP, relationship or otherwise.

[mietze]

There's different kinds of tensions too. I don't like usual like telenovela levels of personal conflict, though I know people that love it and that is great. One of the things I love about fantasy-type hierarchical games with political marriages is the (at least in theory) opportunity for cultural clashes, being thrown sink or swim into upholding a contract between two families that's much larger than either one's desires. Ect. I do not think that particular flavor though is one that many players really enjoy, which is fine--there are some folks out there that I've been grateful to find now and then. And there are always valid concerns with "no love in the present or expected" IC relationships, because there can be a lot of complications with them if other people are involved, and misunderstand the IC or OOC dynamic. Or if someone enters that with the expectation that things will move along to true love quickly (or ever in the scope of the game) and just figures that will happen on their timetable despite the other player warning that may not be feasible.

Same thing with family stuff, really. I love family play/tension--but I understand why that may not be great if someone really wants a safe home base. And sometimes depending on the PC I might prefer that too.

It's a complicated thing, and I really admire people who have been successful with working through that 100 percent organically with no discussion.

[Prototart]

the last time someone asked me to play a guy they admitted after five poses that i was not exaggerating when i said i had no idea how to play a guy

[WildBaboons]

@Prototart if within the first five poses you weren't either doing a helicopter or walking funny to get the boys unstuck from your leg probably were doing it wrong.