I just found out my cat, Cricket, has cancer. It's a cytoma, rather than lymphoma, so it's like... the best worst case scenario? But my heart is breaking and I'm struggling. I'm struggling a lot. This feels... I don't even have the words.
I'm so sorry.
<winces> All the hugs.
@AeriaNyx 
I'm so so sorry!
I just found out my cat, Cricket, has cancer.
I know this sounds awful, but this isn't bad news.
I say this because I didn't know what was wrong with my kitty before we had to make the decision to put him down. He had two massive tumors in his stomach that made it painful, if not impossible, to eat. For months we watched him vomit up food he desperately wanted because he couldn't keep it in. We watched him wither away in sheer ignorance. When we found out why he was so sick, I felt so guilty and hurt that I cried in front of my kids.
I keep a photo of my cat on my phone. When people ask me why I don't have my kids' photos, I usually tell them, to their horror, how it reminds me to listen to my kids when they say they are hurt or not feeling well. I know that if my cat could have talked, he would have told me how it hurt to eat. Instead, that damn lovebug kept struggling to get up on the bed and nuzzle with us, and we were too damned stupid to realize what he was trying to say.
At least you know, and can help your loved one live the best life possible; I feel like I condemned my cat to months of torture.
You have my condolences and the bestest of wishes.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
@Ganymede <also sends hugs to the catbot, if welcome> ...because yeah, I feel that one.
I told a Trump Supporter I wasn't a Democrat and got called a Troll for it.
I missed an opportunity to be a REAL toll to idiots.
@silverfox If you really want to piss everyone off, register Independent.
(Three guesses how I know, and the first two don't count. 
)
I've gone through similar. The idea of 'you have to pick a side'.
Fuck you, no I don't.
Humans are tribal. It's basically instinct to arrange yourself via labels into groupings. It's actually really interesting; there's a good layman's explanation that floats about in reference to what's called the monkey sphere (based on how our brains are capable of recognizing X number of people as human beings and everyone else is 'other'). Not to condone peoples' behavior or anything, but when dealing with shit like 'Democrat vs Republican' it's most effective to approach it understanding why people react like that. Makes it easier to break through the noise.
@Sunny That general thinking is why I went the way I did. Sometimes, it's instant-other, but others, there's the bonus of 'actually have to deal with this person as an individual'. Also, swing demographic, everybody pitches their team.
Oh fucking well.
Yup. Yup yup yup. (Picture the alien muppets to go with this response.)
When you lose a friend of more than a quarter century to a very sudden death. We had just hung out on Monday, and he died during our scheduled event last night.
Honestly, amongst the group of close friends and peers, I was sure I would be the first to go. There's a lot to unpack now, and it's going to take time.
I'm sorry.
@Atomic I'm sorry 
Thanks, folks. I wasn't sure how this would hit me. We're not getting younger, and the abundance of gifts we receive in our early lives spoils us for the truth of the rest of it; every banquet must end
The swings have been pretty brutal. I'm not sure if I'll step away from MU again, or try to continue my nudge back into the hobby. I don't want to be pushing into it for the wrong reasons, but it might help to take my mind to other places for a bit.
So, I have major depressive disorder and a bunch of other bullshitty mental illnesses that that are too long to list and sometimes I fear that listing them will make people go, 'How the fuck are you functional?' BECAUSE I JUST DO OKAY.
I've been hit hard lately by feelings of just... general shittiness. I've been self-destructive, crabby, hard to please, and basically I am just constantly going through some shit. It gets tiring for me, it HAS to get tiring for the people around me, and a few months ago I ended my talk therapy because I had a lack of things to talk about. Me and my therapist would just sit there and bullshit.
If you're reaching this long, rambling bullshit, if you RP with me and I seem off, or my characters seem off, it's hopefully not forever. My brain is just like fucking salty all the time for no good reason. That's how mental illness feels.
Thanks for your consideration,
your resident mentally ill charlatan
I just found out my cat, Cricket, has cancer. It's a cytoma, rather than lymphoma, so it's like... the best worst case scenario? But my heart is breaking and I'm struggling. I'm struggling a lot. This feels... I don't even have the words.
