RL Anger
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When people keep fucking beating on the dead horse.
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I hate it when familial relations become toxic and/or otherwise unhealthy. It isn't like a friendship or a romantic relationship where you can just say your goodbyes and cut all ties. There's that pesky blood bond that is kind of difficult, if not outright impossible, to sever.
"Just leave me alone. I'm not myself. I'm falling apart, and I don't want you here." - ― Daniel Keyes, Flowers for Algernon
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@Apu said:
I hate it when familial relations become toxic and/or otherwise unhealthy. It isn't like a friendship or a romantic relationship where you can just say your goodbyes and cut all ties. There's that pesky blood bond that is kind of difficult, if not outright impossible, to sever.
When this happens, I simply retreat and hope that time will allow the cancer to heal.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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Several years ago I was the raid leader for a WoW guild. Some of us were flying to the summoning stones to summoning the rest including one of the guild's tanks, a pretty good feral druid, played by a girl. That she was a good, well geared tank was of importance to me; that she was a girl was just a curiosity since there were fewer around than guys.
So anyway, we were using Ventrilo (a voice-chat program) to coordinate, and one of my online friends with a reputation of being flirty/promiscuous iRL logged on then hopped on the voice channel waiting for a summon. When he heard her voice (and realized she was female) he started ... acting differently. "Heey and who are you honey?", that sort of thing. Nothing outright inappropriate but definitely different; to me she was a group member, to him she was a girl who also played WoW.
I remember all this now because it was the first time that got my attention - it was unfamiliar territory, see. Was she upset? She didn't sound like it from her response ("why do you want to know?" in a sort of amused way) but what did I know?. Was she flattered? Was this how it usually was for females and she knew how to handle herself? Again it was hard to tell, or to know how or if to address it.
I went with my usual charm ("dude, shut up and bring a flask this time!") which seemed to end the weirdness and we never got an actual complaint about anything of the sort but in retrospect there were incidents I can think back and wonder; that one of the guild's other girls called our guild leader a 'dirty old man' (to be fair he was in his forties at the time and she was maybe twenty) after she left the guild, did that mean something?
I don't know. I don't know what the norm is, and that's just online. iRL is a whole different ballgame that I understand even less.
I do think if a girl wants to only be known as a good feral druid though they should be able to do that.
- He who takes offense when not intended is a fool. He who takes offense when intended is a greater fool.
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I hope that works. Right now the plan is to not take any of my mom's calls and such. Maybe that'll get the point across to her.
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Yeah, that is a big reason I don't get on voice chat on MMOs anymore and always claim to be male unless I am playing with people I know from elsewhere. Always. It fucks everything up if you admit to being female. Suddenly you're judged on entirely different standards and to keep your tank/healer/whatever status, you have to be better - not as good as, but better - than your male counterparts. I don't have the energy to fight this anymore. I used to, and I did, but I got tired.
That whole 'well they aren't REAL game developers' attitude is precisely why.
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Not saying it isn't a problem for female gamers, but I can honestly say I've had zero problems with being treated poorly/differently/etc while in the guilds I was a member of that were not ran by friends. Maybe I just lucked out, maybe the other players were more mature than that... not sure what it's a case of but I am glad I can claim this.
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@Arkandel said:
I do think if a girl wants to only be known as a good feral druid though they should be able to do that.
Here's a poll: how many people here think I'm a man or woman?
Here's another poll: how many people actually give a shit?
Yet another: how many people think I give a shit what you think my gender is?
I am Ganymede. That's all anyone really needs to know; that, and I don't have any real desire to get to know anyone personally here, beyond those that I already know personally.
(Answers: 1. Neither, I am a robot; 2. Hopefully, no one; 3. Hopefully, no one.)
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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@Ganymede I thought you were an owl.
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@Ganymede said:
@Arkandel said:
I do think if a girl wants to only be known as a good feral druid though they should be able to do that.
Here's a poll: how many people here think I'm a man or woman?
Here's another poll: how many people actually give a shit?
Yet another: how many people think I give a shit what you think my gender is?
I am Ganymede. That's all anyone really needs to know; that, and I don't have any real desire to get to know anyone personally here, beyond those that I already know personally.
(Answers: 1. Neither, I am a robot; 2. Hopefully, no one; 3. Hopefully, no one.)
I don't know how to pronounce the name so in my mind it's just Granny... .
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@Ganymede Everyone here knows you are a robot. You're not fooling anyone with your Turing algorithms, rust-bucket.
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I find the whole WoW-sexism thing to be funny. I only played Ultima Online as MMOs and males and females got treated about the same. All it mattered if you were in a PK outfit was how fast you could drop that sucker blue fighting a dragon in Destard.
And in a PvM outfit, there was some playful flirtation going but I never joined that. Too busy killing champions with my archer/provocateur bard.
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@deadculture said:
I find the whole WoW-sexism thing to be funny.
Please, tell us more. It's so interesting.
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@deadculture When it comes to MMOs in particular words cannot describe how low priority I place on someone's gender. I have so many other real things to consider - are you a good player? On time for groups? Well geared/enchanted/buffed? Is your DPS/performance good for your role? Do you stay focused through it? Do you follow instructions promptly (for PvP) and/or understand the fight (for PvE)?
The rest is gravy.
On MU* it's basically the same thing. Even if my PC is looking for a romantic partner what good does is that if someone else can't type or spell, or if they can't put together creative poses to make it fun to play with them? I honestly can't think of any good reason I should care, which isn't necessarily about gender parity.
Are you entertaining and sane, dammit? Then we'll get along.
- He who takes offense when not intended is a fool. He who takes offense when intended is a greater fool.
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@Arkandel Someone's playstyle should be all that matters. And skill. UO is mostly based on your skill, since it takes a lot of understanding the system, putting the right macroes and the timing behind your spells/strikes to actually kill an opponent. Everyone does better in groups, but duelling is where it's at.
I miss the game but it was too time consuming, and as with all time consuming things, I had to drop that.
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@wanderer said:
Here's a question to think about: why are male gamers like that?
I don't know, why am I like that?
I thought I had more to support this point, but my mind is fractured and I am sticking to my point about labels.
“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.”
― Carl Sagan, Cosmos -
@Thenomain said:
@wanderer said:
Here's a question to think about: why are male gamers like that?
I don't know, why am I like that?
I thought I had more to support this point, but my mind is fractured and I am sticking to my point about labels.
This is why I take issue with that whole idea. Because not all male gamers are like that. In fact, /most/ aren't. We tend to notice outliers more than the norm, but sometimes the norm gets so negative, we leave because we are just unwilling to put up with it anymore. That's human nature, it transcends gender.
As to MMO's, I don't use voice chat unless it's a raid. I will /gladly/ tell people I am a guy playing a girl (you know what they say about white lies after all), because A) I will be accused of it eventually. B) On /some/ MMO's (WoW, and EVE especially) there is enough of a toxic population that I just don't want to make myself a target, and C) I get judged on my skill rather than my gender.
WoW is so full of toxic vitriol that I rarely play it anymore. I stopped playing EVE when I joined an incursion group that was doing nothing but talking about porn, linking porn pictures and video's constantly, and being swarmed with cruder and cruder suggestions, innuendo's, and pictures they wanted my 'opinion' on.
Anymore, I won't even talk on voice chat in a raid. My microphone will be 'broken', so I'll type what I have to say and just listen.
@Arkandel That guy being sleazy is pretty common, we know (Well I know, usually, I can't claim 100 percent accuracy as it's possible I've missed stuff) when someone is being disingenuous towards us, or treating us like an object to be captured or claimed. Some of the time it's funny, some of the times it's annoying, and some of the time it can go waaaaaayyyy to far. MMO's aren't dating simulators to me, I just want to play, beat up the raid bosses, and get my loot like everyone else.
Also: I hate the idea that women are only fit for healer rolls, I tank, a lot. I DPS some too, the only game I am comfortable healing in is FFXIV.
Hello! Long time listener, first time caller...
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@Lithium said:
Also: I hate the idea that women are only fit for healer rolls, I tank, a lot. I DPS some too, the only game I am comfortable healing in is FFXIV.
I only ever play healers.
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