RL Anger
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@Misadventure I'm not on anything. I just started getting sick last night and then proceeded to be unable to sleep well the whole night, which is all you really want to be able to do when you're sick.
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So… please bear with me, but more production bitching.
Mr. Genius Stage Director has known from day one that, due to the configuration of the two theaters we’re singing in (there’s no pit, apparently), the orchestra has to be on stage. And stage left. And yet this goddamned m*@$&@#*er still staged the damned thing without taking that into consideration. The result is that 80% of the cast can’t, at one point or another, establish direct eye contact with the conductor.
Last night was the first (and only) rehearsal in the space with the orchestra before opening night (because this company can’t get its shit together.) During the mask trio- which we had been performing perfectly in rehearsals so far- things fell apart in a completely spectacular fashion.
I want you to picture this: for the trio, we’re laid out in a triangle and staring straight ahead, and the orchestra and conductor is to our left. I am at the leftmost point of the triangle and therefore the only member of the trio who can actually see maestro. Meanwhile my poor Donna Anna is on the opposite end of the triangle. She is also, at this point, getting eyefucked by a lighting tree that is blasting her face with intense light to the point that she can’t see a goddamned thing- much less the conductor. Donna Elvira, on the other hand, can’t see the conductor because of where I’m standing, which we didn’t know until today and she had no way of communicating this to me because we’re, essentially, too far away from each other.
Now, when the orchestra is in the front, before the singers, most of the singers get the same (more or less) delay… in this configuration, I’m the one getting the immediate feedback, whereas Donna Anna is the last one to hear. As a result of not being able to see shit, my poor Donna Anna was two measures behind as the trio got on. Donna Elvira was a measure ahead because she’s behind the orchestra and, again, can’t even see the conductor.
Any trio, but particularly a Mozart trio, is a clockwork affair. Few things can fall apart as spectacularly as a Mozart trio- with Verismo you can sort of get back on the horse, there’s a lot more fluidity and leeway allowed before the audience realizes that, oh shit, it’s falling apart! Mozart? Not so much.
That was just one of the issues….aaaaand this was the only rehearsal with the orchestra in the space before opening night on Friday. And bonus points: on Saturday, we’re singing at a completely different theater that we won’t get to rehearse in.
This will totally be the last production I do with this company. What a hot mess.
It’s a drag, because the singers they rounded up for this are pretty damned impressive.Vorpal is actually Satan made MU*nifest
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This will totally be the last production I do with this company. What a hot mess.
I hope you intend to let them know exactly how fucked up they are once the performance is over and why you'd rather have spikes shoved into your eyes than work with him again.
I suppose that might get around to other companies? But hell, this is opera. They're used to divas so it shouldn't reflect poorly on you, especially if this guy has a bad rep already.
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This will totally be the last production I do with this company. What a hot mess.
I hope you intend to let them know exactly how fucked up they are once the performance is over and why you'd rather have spikes shoved into your eyes than work with him again.
I suppose that might get around to other companies? But hell, this is opera. They're used to divas so it shouldn't reflect poorly on you, especially if this guy has a bad rep already.
I definitely intend to let them know why I’m not coming back.
The guy is basically a failed tenor who is a pain to listen to- he’s a proponent of the Can Belto school, so most of his ‘performances’ is him screaming in pitch with an enormous wobble and calling himself a ‘heldentenor.’ Until a few years ago he kept getting work as a tenor because he has cast iron pecs and it looks like he’s smuggling small cantaloupes in his arms, but the voice got far too horrifying for people to pay for him to sing in main roles nowadays. Now he does character baritone roles because he screams less in the baritone register, but he keeps trying to do roles that showcase the fact that no, he’s a natural-born tenor with the typical low tenor register (that is, nothing audible below the tenor’s low C).
This is his first production as a ‘stage director’- depending on the reviews, it might be his last. I certainly hope so. What irked me the most about working with him is that he kept trying to give the singers vocal tips and musical interpretation tips… when that is the province of (respectively) their voice teachers and the music director, who is in charge of who does what musically.
I’m sorry, but when your head wobbles like a goddamned POP Vinyl toy when you sing because you’ve got enough sub-glottal pressure that your larynx could be used as a cannon that could launch a morbidly obese squirrel across a football field, you don’t need to be giving any technical tips to anyone.
Vorpal is actually Satan made MU*nifest
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The guy is basically a failed tenor who is a pain to listen to- he’s a proponent of the Can Belto school, so most of his ‘performances’ is him screaming in pitch with an enormous wobble and calling himself a ‘heldentenor.’
I realize these are words which mean things but that's as far as my mortal mind takes me.
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Mr. Genius Stage Director has known from day one that, due to the configuration of the two theaters we’re singing in (there’s no pit, apparently), the orchestra has to be on stage. And stage left. And yet this goddamned m*@$&@#*er still staged the damned thing without taking that into consideration. The result is that 80% of the cast can’t, at one point or another, establish direct eye contact with the conductor.
So, as someone who doesn't know much about music, is this a big deal? Whenever I watch video, the musicians are all staring at their sheets while the conductor flails about, his movements not really matching anything that I can detect.
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Mr. Genius Stage Director has known from day one that, due to the configuration of the two theaters we’re singing in (there’s no pit, apparently), the orchestra has to be on stage. And stage left. And yet this goddamned m*@$&@#*er still staged the damned thing without taking that into consideration. The result is that 80% of the cast can’t, at one point or another, establish direct eye contact with the conductor.
So, as someone who doesn't know much about music, is this a big deal? Whenever I watch video, the musicians are all staring at their sheets while the conductor flails about, his movements not really matching anything that I can detect.
Imagine that you are in a play and you are waiting for your queues for your lines, you are listening to the stuff being said, and you know you need to do a certain thing at a certain time but then all of the sudden you're in a sensory deprivation tank unable to see or hear anything relevant to what you need to do, but you /still/ have to try and do your job which is to perform your role on time.
Essentially the singers /are a part/ of the orchestra when it comes to Opera, their voices /have/ to be timed and tuned the same way as any other instrument must be to harmonize properly. If one of the three key pieces is off time, it's bad, if all three of them cannot get their queues because they don't know exactly when (They aren't being conducted, that's the conductors job, to keep the orchestra in harmony and timed right otherwise you'd think the musicians would just read their music, but their sheets don't have all the timing information on them, it's just the notes they play and in what order but not, precisely, when to start or stop) they are supposed to do their thing...
It's the equivalent to the highschool play where everyone comes on and yells their lines out at the same time in one chaotic mess.
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Well... a wobble is a very slow vibration in the voice. Like, almost siren-like, it is so slow. That’s usually indicative of bad technique that has basically abused your voice for years. Think of your vocal cords as coming together an incredible amount of times per second as air passes between them… healthy vocal cords do so at a certain rate- 6 to 6.5 cycles per second. If you abuse your voice, ‘push’ and scream as substitutes for good technique, the muscles and cartilages involved start to lose their flexibility (in fact, in some cases, they become ‘bowed’ after years of pressure) – which results in 4 or less cycles per second. The voice is also robbed of its natural beauty after years of being savaged.
It’s not a pretty sound, and outside of potential recurring health issues being the cause, it can indicate a bad singer with a very bad and unhealthy technique.
As for “Heldentenor”- we know that there are seven voice types: tenor and soprano (high male and female voices), bassos and altos (low male and female voices) and mezzosopranos, baritones and countertenors (mid-range female voices, mid-range male voices, and men whose falsetto is so strong that they sing in the mezzosoprano range.)
Each voice type also has sub-types. Think of the sub-types as being like weight designations in Boxing, from lightweight to heavyweight. The roles written for each sub-type are written with what that voice sub-type can and can’t do: huge voices (dramatic sopranos, heldentenors, Verdian/Wagnerian baritones and sopranos, etc) are very large, very powerful, not very agile and they usually sing over very large orchestras and can cut through them like a knife through butter.
Middle-strength voices are usually called ‘lyric’ and they usually strike a balance between power and beauty- they sing over smaller orchestras and have moderate agility. They’re usually the romantic leads. The light voices are incredibly agile though not very powerful and so they often sing over much smaller orchestras.
A larger voice trying to sing repertoire meant for a smaller voice is possible. Singing the role of a –much—smaller voice can be incredibly awkward and not very good for your vocal health. However, a smaller voice trying to sing the repertoire of a much larger voice will kill it. To sing over an orchestra size that is twice (or more) the size that is meant for your voice means you will either a) not be heard at all if you’re trying to sing with your usual size or b) you are going to push like hell and that’s going to damage your voice over the long term.
The damage can range from nodules, bowed cords (and wobble), to vocal hemorrhage and worse.
In the end, operatic singing is a fine-motor athletic endeavor on par with the kind of stress and coordination required of Olympic athletics for other parts of the body. And doing it wrong, just like training other parts of your body, is going to fuck you up. And if you’ve done it wrong for too long, then you’ll get fucked up in irreversible ways.
--- so, long story short
… someone who does that is the last person you want vocal technical advice from.
Sorry. It's a very slow day at work today.
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@Misadventure said in RL Anger:
Enjoyable reading, though.
Thank you- I have a bad habit of geeking out on 'shop talk'...
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@Misadventure said in RL Anger:
Now if we can get @silentsophia to share pics of her knitting and such ...
I second this motion.
Vorpal is actually Satan made MU*nifest
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People like this give ammunition to people who barely even needed an excuse in the first place.
https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/4erwg4/woman_who_accused_zach_randolph_of_assault_admits/
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Holy shit this dude is just fucking--I have no words. Wow.
EXCERPT:
It’s not just a matter of small bodies versus big bodies. Women are the weaker sex because they’re more timid and emotionally vulnerable and tender-hearted than men. God made them that way.
I’m generalizing here. So did God. It’s in the Bible. You ladies all read your Bibles, right? Here are three different prophets describing the weakness and fearfulness of three different nations, using women as the metaphor [...]
Just, wow.
"Excuse the hell out of you. He's a bag of dicks. I'm a carefully curated box of cocks." -- to @GirlCalledBlu upon being misrepresented.
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@Coin Why would you even link and encourage website hits oh my god he's a neckbeard Christian MRA.
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@Kanye-Qwest said in RL Anger:
@Coin Why would you even link and encourage website hits oh my god he's a neckbeard Christian MRA.
Awareness is worth it.
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Believe it or not, that's pretty tame compared to the subset I was part of from around 8ish until 24.
There are many, many frightening communities preaching stuff like that or worse out there. What makes me angriest is often the most vocal adherents are not men or women raised in it, but those who adopt it later in life in response to fear/need for control and then cripple their children with it.
