RL Anger
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Peeve: There is not one America; North and South America are the continents. Central America is not a continent. So you can't say anyone is just an American, if we're using the continents to say why a USAer can't call themselves "American".
For the USA Irony, Mexicans are North Americans.
“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.”
― Carl Sagan, Cosmos -
"The US is Canada's Mexico."
-- Some comedian -
As a paraplegic who is very active and engaged in his community, I encounter microaggressions most days. Oh, not the 'you called me a cripple, boohoo' kind, but the 'cops give me shit for my wheelchair' shit if I am in a crowded place, or the 'if I am having a diabetic episode, I am at risk for being tased for noncompliance' way. The 'refusal to allow me to board a bus because the driver doesn't want to strap me down' way. The 'talking to my aide instead of me' way if I am speaking at a thing. The 'yelling at me in the bus because my wheelchair tiedowns are where you like to sit' way. The 'screaming at me on the bus because my service dog offends you' way, or the 'why don't you people use dial a ride instead of slowing us down' way, or the 'yelling about how their tax dollars pay for me to be in a home so why am I in line at the deli asking the counter guy to slice my chicken breast because my extreme neuropathy makes it dangerous to hold a knife' way-- though I don't get disability and never have, I am solidly middle-class, paid $30k out of my own pocket for my cancer treatment, and live in my own house?
The way that I, dressed well for an evening out at a fancy restaurant, am treated like either I am a) homeless (and thus randos try to give me money, which is kind of cool and kind of argh), the way that I am b) usually seated behind a barrier/behind a corner/at the shit table and c) given shit service because they think I am too poor to tip.
How randos will grab my wheelchair and manhandle me out of the way if they din't like where I am, often very roughly, in ways that they would NEVER touch an able-bodied man (without expecting a fight).
The way landlords assume that a disabled couple isn't worth renting to because all they must make is social security and thus can't be expected to pay rent on time.
The term microaggression was devised to describe all those relentlessly aggravating and bullshit interactions that are not on the level of outright bigotry but ARE due to unconscious bias against a minority group. They are frequent, inescapable, and omnipresent whenever you try to interact in public society. They are exhausting and draining.
It's annoying as hell that overzealous students have co-opted the term, but it is really useful when correctly used to describe a very real set of interactions.
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And this is where I sort of want alternate terms for stuff like PTSD.
Because I get where things totally suck for someone, but there are also scales of extremes. Such as your example. What you experience versus what a kid on a campus does is just realms apart. A girl being so caught up in a story that she walks in front of someone else without realizing it is not a microaggressions, despite how much these kids have convinced themselves that it is. The things you've experienced are.
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The way landlords assume that a disabled couple isn't worth renting to because all they must make is social security and thus can't be expected to pay rent on time.
I never really understood this. My landlord clients like people who get guaranteed payments every month; they are the ones that generally pay on time, all the time.
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It's annoying as hell that overzealous students have co-opted the term, but it is really useful when correctly used to describe a very real set of interactions.
This right here. That is the important difference. Microaggressions like you describe are valid, should be recognized and where they can be resolved, resolved.
The way it is co-opted in academia is really what I was focusing on. I have friends whose academic lives, careers they have poured years into (and anyone who has done a PhD knows exactly what kind of sacrifices that means) have had their lives ruined and careers ended because some kid didn't like the way they said "He/She" or some bullshit like that. And the thing is these kids are not going to listen to us to correct them. I don't know who they will listen to really. All I do know is that in their millenial adolescence at college, they are leaving a trail of ruined lives and destroying the whole purpose of academia. /golf-clap.
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I am reminded of this article:
http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/trouble-teaching-rape-lawSaying the quiet parts out loud since 1996.
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@Auspice There are many many examples that one could find of this. That was rather a public one. So was the one where students who were Classics majors protested learning Ovid's Metamorphosis because it had rape in it. Guess what ... you're a Classics major. Deal. I'm a rape victim. I studied Classics. I dealt. If you can't deal, find something else.
its the many instances that don't get reported, that are ignored by the media and just allowed to happen with no fanfare. For every instance like that you see in a journal, there are a hundred more happening elsewhere.
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@Thenomain That reminds me of a particularly contentious discussion I had with a fellow MU*er from Canada who took significant umbrage with how I don't like being told "Merry Christmas". I made a comment about North American culture, at which point she blew up at me about how not everyone you speak to is from the USA.
The irony did not escape me.
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@Auspice There are many many examples that one could find of this. That was rather a public one. So was the one where students who were Classics majors protested learning Ovid's Metamorphosis because it had rape in it. Guess what ... you're a Classics major. Deal. I'm a rape victim. I studied Classics. I dealt. If you can't deal, find something else.
its the many instances that don't get reported, that are ignored by the media and just allowed to happen with no fanfare. For every instance like that you see in a journal, there are a hundred more happening elsewhere.
Then there's the ridiculous cases...
The janitor at Purdue who was fired for 'racial insensitivity' for reading 'Notre Dame vs. the Klan: How the Fighting Irish Defeated the Ku Klux Klan' on a break.
Someone felt it was racist that he was reading a book that mentioned the KKK.
Thankfully he, uh, got his job back and an apology, but yeah. Gotta love those knee-jerk reactions.
![😕](http://musoapbox.net/assets/plugins/nodebb-plugin-emoji/emoji/android/1f615.png?v=4vfms5ns7sl ":\")
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Before I started work at this location, the following incident happened. I read about it in incident reports/logs of the incident:
A security guard noticed a woman who had a small dog on a leash. He asked her if it was a service dog. She said 'You can't ask me that it's against the law!"
He politely informed her that the building has a policy stating only licensed service dogs are allowed. She called him a fascist and had a flip out.
She subsequently missed two days of work, claiming the whole thing triggered her so hard that she just couldn't go out in public.
The guard was punished for 'confronting' her. Damn millenials.
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I want to claim that work triggers me so hard that I need time off. Would that be sick days, not vacation? Wish I could run from the real world like half of these extreme cases get off doing.
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@Admiral
Man, fuck that noise.
When I worked at the bowling alley, a girl came in once with a little dog. I asked. She said it was a service dog for seizures, happily (& promptly!) showed documentation.She became a regular. And one day? That dog did provide advance warning for a seizure that allowed her friends to call an ambulance for.
So fuck people that try to abuse that shit.
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Rock is an emotional support companion. I have the documentation from my doctor. This is NOT the same as a service dog.
That being said, when people ask if he's a service dog, I tell them he's an emotional support companion. Most of the time they don't question me further, but if they press, I'm generally decent about stepping out if there's a problem. Amongst places I won't take my dog: salons, restaurants, etc.
Except for that one bitch who basically told me to never take my dog anywhere because she had allergies.
"If you stand for nothing Burr, what will you fall for?"
-- Hamilton: An American Musical -
Which? Totally legit.
We had specific rules when I worked there since we did serve food/alcohol. So it was 'only service animals allowed' - hence having to ask.But you do get those people now who, for some reason, like @Admiral's story, think it's OK to just claim any animal is a service animal and screech about it.
Those people are hella lame. -
@Admiral said in RL Anger:
He politely informed her that the building has a policy stating only licensed service dogs are allowed. She called him a fascist and had a flip out.
From someone with a real service dog:
While she was abusing the policy, the law is clear that he can't ask her that, because of repeated violations of the ADA by private and public property owners. You can't decide whether it's a service dog.
Also, licensed service dogs are not a thing- all 'certified' organisations are private, whether it's canine companions or a backyard trainer. What is necessary is that the dog must be able to
perform a task for you. No, you can't demand that the dog perform it.No, however, a pet does not qualify as a stress-reduction service animal: there is specific training that they have to undergo, and you need a diagnosis IIRC. So you might be able to say, "Is that your pet?"
"No, she's my stress dog."
"Those require specialised training, ma'am."For example, ptsd dogs must, to be prescribed to a patient, undergo training in how to assist a person having a panic attack, either by leading them away, leaning on them to provide physical comfort, alerting others who might help, etc. 'She just makes me feel better' does not qualify, but you CAN train a pet to do these things and have them qualify.
In ANY case of a service animal or a pet, even if you have no idea OR know it's a service animal, the MOMENT the animal becomes a disruption, you have every legal right to tell them to leave. I see 'service dogs' making a fuss in restaurants all the time. Mine? You won't even know she's there. She's well-loved by all our local restaurants because her behavior is impeccable.
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And that is the difference between a service dog and a 'service dog'. You will never see an ACTUAL service dog act up. They're too rigidly trained to their job. Its the same reason I tell my kids anytime we're in public... 'if you see a service dog, don't pet it, don't ask if you can pet it... that's not a pet, that is an animal doing a JOB and it is distracted from that job when you try to ruffle ears or pet it'.
Also, yes, anytime an animal is creating a fuss, management is allowed to insist the person and their animal leave.
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On a different topic:
fuck migraines fuck migraines fuck migraines fuck migraines
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While you cannot ask "is your dog a service dog" directly, you can say "only service dogs are allowed at this establishment, and according to <insert rcv number and text> you may only have your animal with you if it is under your control and not presenting a danger to other patrons."
I had to research and talk to the relevant agencies in my state because I had someone bring their filthy, matted, literally stinking obviously having cateracts dog into a children's indoor playground I was working on, have it pee and shit on the floor and snap at a toddler because she let it wander. She screamed it was a service dog and that I could not prevent her from having it as they went out the door. When she returned the next day, I was armed with the facts.
Housing has much more leeway. But if you want to take your animal into a facility where it can be a dangerous environment for that interaction (like a ton of running, screaming, playing babies, toddlers, and preschoolers with no separate holding area), there are some protections for the business.
And I was probably doing her a favor since our county has draconian owner of biting dog always responsible for dog bites to humans statutes. I felt sorry for the neglected dog though.
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@mietze You are absolutely correct.
