RL Anger

[Meg]

@Auspice was that at me. :x i'm sorry; i'll stop.

ETA: It's obvious that SOMEONE took one too many college philosophy classes.

[Ganymede]

@surreality said in RL Anger:

Maybe you should direct your ire toward the person who came in and started slinging the shit, because that wasn't me.

I think my opinion on this is quite clear, but let me try again: yes, that was you, and it was you when you decided, wrongfully, that what was said was, in your words, "petty grudgewanky bullshit." Neither I nor several others saw it the same, and we've called it out.

You chose this hill, not I.

[Thenomain]

@Meg said in RL Anger:

@Auspice was that at me. :x i'm sorry; i'll stop.

ETA: It's obvious that SOMEONE took one too many college philosophy classes.

Well I think it’s cute.

Wait, are we doing that date thing or not?

Edit: I suspect that Auspice is responding to this recent thread. “Leg” is my current body part insult of choice.

[Ganymede]

@Ghost said in RL Anger:

Don't do that again while I'm drinking water, ya shite.

What's that, you pustulent cunt?

(Said for illustrative purposes.)

[Ghost]

@surreality said in RL Anger:

@Ganymede Maybe you should direct your ire toward the person who came in and started slinging the shit, because that wasn't me. I have the same right to respond with an objection to being called a hypocrite as any given person on the forum does to being called a cunt, and I will not be chastised for doing so as if I'm in the wrong for doing it.

Gonna throw myself under the bus here.

Tread carefully. Consider myself a decent example as to what happens on these forums when you reply with vitriol towards someone whose opinion you don't value, or someone you don't respect. It very quickly becomes about a dozen or other things until the original point of the spat is lost. Justified or not.

Some people are here to be constructive, others for entertainment, and others to be...I don't know what the right word is for it, but somewhere between contrarian and to maintain some assumed persona.

The people who don't want to understand with the potential end result of understanding you better or in a positive light won't give you much quarter. So you may be better off just telling people that you don't appreciate their tone, and if they continue to be rude, others will jump in and cold cock them with a beat stick on your behalf.

[surreality]

@Ganymede We're just going to have to disagree. I consider being called a hypocrite an attack.

When it's someone who you've disagreed with elsewhere (and I even made a point of saying I had no intention of offending her personally in said discussion), and they are, in fact, explicitly mentioning that disagreement in their 'gotcha' attempt?

This is not a leap.

[Ghost]

@Ganymede said in RL Anger:

@Ghost said in RL Anger:

Don't do that again while I'm drinking water, ya shite.

What's that, you pustulent cunt?

(Said for illustrative purposes.)

I hope you die of sheer happiness after all of your wishes in life are granted.

[Ganymede]

@surreality said in RL Anger:

This is not a leap.

I'll bite.

Show me how you haven't leapt.

For the record, being accused of being a hypocrite is something I don't consider an attack because it is a rhetorical opening.

---

@Ghost said in RL Anger:

I hope you die of sheer happiness after all of your wishes in life are granted.

I don't wish for much, but if you have a family I hope they see you die in a fire.

(Actually, I don't, but I'm scraping for horrible things to say here.)

[Meg]

@Thenomain I'll take you out on a date if you come to Colorado!

[surreality]

@Ghost I get the 'take one for the team and let shit die down' logic.

I am not, however, in the mood to do that shit today. I'm over quota on that for the week.

@Ganymede It's laid out right there in the preceding text. Please stop being deliberately obtuse if you're asking for shit to defuse rather than escalate.

1. I consider being called a hypocrite an attack.
2. When someone explicitly references a former conflict in the attack, it's pretty clear that's what's on their mind.

Attacking someone today over some former conflict = grudgewank. And all grudgewank is bullshit, in my book.

I do not see this as a 'babe in the woods' innocent inquiry, ex: "You said you don't like beets yesterday. If you don't like them, why are you eating beets today?" I believe in keeping an open mind about such things, but keeping it that open, my brains would surely fall out.

[Ghost]

@Ganymede I hope you have an office related accident at work on a Friday before a 3 day weekend.

(Said jokingly, for the record. Dont know if you think I'm a douche or not, but you're ai'i'i'iight in my book)

[Ghost]

@surreality said in RL Anger:

@Ghost I get the 'take one for the team and let shit die down' logic.
I am not, however, in the mood to do that shit today. I'm over quota on that for the week

Fair nuff. Do your thing. Polite environments tend to have people who masquerade as polite culture and sometimes people feel like they gotta cut the tall poppy.

I'm the last person to chastize you for this.

[surreality]

@Ghost For some reason, this made me think of the most recent late night diner conversation I had with the husband, in which somehow we ended up talking about what would be theoretically contained in Sean Spicer's eventual resignation letter.

We decided it would just be a recording of Weird Al's 'One More Minute', in the end.

Re: topic: sometimes I'm willing to do that, but frankly, not today. It's somebody else's turn. I have enough people who think I'm fair game as a punching bag and everybody took their turn throwing a swing a few days ago, which I ultimately hand-waved off into the ether of being way too distracted by a combination of just not giving much of a fuck and trying to figure out where the hell to put the yarn I ordered, because 50lbs of yarn is a lot of yarn, and ultimately I'm as easily distracted as a cat on too much nip.

[Ganymede]

@surreality said in RL Anger:

Please stop being deliberately obtuse if you're asking for shit to defuse rather than escalate.

Being accused of being obtuse is one of the most insulting things anyone can accuse me of being.

I'm making an inquiry, albeit as an interrogatory. I am clearly making an inquiry because I do not understand something. I spend literally hours a week researching and investigating things. I know when I've hit a point where something doesn't make sense or requires further explanation.

If you're going to be choose to be patronizing because you're too lazy or stupid, or both, to piece together a cogent defense, so be it. But don't for a moment think that I would preface a comment like "show me" with "I'll bite" because I've already made some sort of conclusion. Show me or don't -- either is fine -- but don't call me obtuse when I could have just as easily passed on your vacillating.

---

@Ghost said in RL Anger:

I hope you have an office related accident at work on a Friday before a 3 day weekend.

I'm pretty sure that's how you came to be.

(Love you!)

[surreality]

@Ganymede That's fair. I figured you were following the logic, and that that was meant to be the conclusion of the elements above, and did not think you didn't understand it. Apologies. (For real.)

As an addendum to the 'babe in the woods' thing: @Kanye-Qwest and I have certainly had our share of snarling at each other. She had a legit question about something a while ago that could be taken as this sort of thing -- but she did a damn fine job of being clear that wasn't her intention in any way and I had zero problem taking her at her word and made sure to say as much. If somebody has a genuine question, and isn't playing stupid 'gotcha' games, it's often very evident. Hence the 'I am not taking @kk's question as an innocent inquiry'.

Other RL things I hate: this new keyboard. It keeps losing connection and can't keep up with any reasonable typing speed. (So much meh.)

[Kanye Qwest]

@surreality No one has said it was an "innocent inquiry", unless I have missed something? There's a difference between a confrontational statement and a personal attack, is what I'm getting at. I think the two being conflated is an issue.

Digression - it is an issue for ME because it happens to me all the time. Like, no, trust - if I am personally attacking someone, there will be no doubt.

[Tyche]

[surreality]

@Kanye-Qwest The not innocent inquiry is an accusation. It's a wolf in sheep's clothing, essentially: it's still an accusation, it's just hiding behind a facade of inquiry. That there's a question mark at the end doesn't change its fundamental nature at all.

It just makes it even more disingenuous, to me, personally. As in, 'I want to be able to sound like I'm not doing what I'm actually doing and maintain plausible deniability in some fashion'. I won't go into the other things I generally ascribe to people who demonstrate this behavior.

[Ganymede]

@surreality said in RL Anger:

As an addendum to the 'babe in the woods' thing: @Kanye-Qwest and I have certainly had our share of snarling at each other. She had a legit question about something a while ago that could be taken as this sort of thing -- but she did a damn fine job of being clear that wasn't her intention in any way and I had zero problem taking her at her word and made sure to say as much. If somebody has a genuine question, and isn't playing stupid 'gotcha' games, it's often very evident. Hence the 'I am not taking @kk's question as an innocent inquiry'.

Now, let me show you where I am confused.

Your response raises a whole bunch of questions:

• What "legit question" are you talking about?
• What do you mean by "this sort of thing"?

As far as I can tell, you went ape when @kk said:

I am quite baffled. I believe that you argued that threads shouldn't be derailed over this stuff and yet here you are four days later on another thread still complaining that people didn't like that word being used.

The accusation here is that you said that threads shouldn't be derailed over whether someone should or should not be insulted over something (or discussions on gender politics, I think). You responded by saying, in paraphrase, that threads shouldn't be derailed unless you happen to be in the right forum for derailment.

Five days before, in the Random Bitching forum, you told @kk that you were tired with having to confront gender politics on a daily basis, and that you wanted to just focus on games and stuff. This is where @kk apologized:

I didn't and don't get the vibe that you had any intention of being mean about this.
I had some situations relating to such things myself both online and irl. I have no desire to go into the details though.

I apologize that the thread has been frustrating to you.

This wouldn't have started if the insult wasn't used in the first place and it wouldn't have escalated if it wasn't argued and defended like it was, when it was called out. A simple sorry, shouldn't have used that word would have silenced it a long time ago.

So, this being the last comment before she made the one you emptied on her for, exactly what sort of "grudge" exists? Because, as I was reading it, @kk was essentially saying: "hey, I'm sorry the thread went this way, but I've been through some rough gender-bias stuff too, and I just felt compelled to call it out."

See where I'm confused? You want to avoid discussions of gender politics on game forums because you face it on a daily basis, and she apologized for doing so. And then she points out that you're engaging in a discussion (kind of) regarding sexist slurs, and you elect to find some sort of grudge in it. I understand that there's a difference here, but @kk literally hadn't said anything for five days, and not even in the same thread.

That's why I honestly took a double-take. Because you did say something along the lines of "this sort of talk derails threads and I don't like it" and then you're fine with engaging in a similar discussion because it's a different thread, and admit so.

It's confusing. That's why I wanted to understand.

I still think you over-reacted on this one, but I've got a clearer picture now. Thanks.

[Pandora]

I'm bored of all this now and so all of you should be bored, also.

@surreality I double-dog-dare you to sigh deeply, shrug about the futility of convincing people that they are wrong on MSB, and change the subject. You don't have to prove anything, we have heard your point and some agree, some disagree, and thus sums up the internet.