RL Anger
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But I do have a growing irk for infantilizing monikers in general these days. I'm reading a series of books in which there are several strong women with different focuses; but reading, for example, the bad-ass mercenary's lover calling her "kitten" makes me want her to slap him.
If you like short horror fiction, you may appreciate this. It is probably my favorite short story (which would doubtless terrify anyone familiar with it), but it very much touches on that particular point and rather brilliantly. Is Clive Barker, so be aware of gore/sex factor as high.
Oh fucking well.
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My keyring clip broke. Goddammit, I've had that thing for over ten years and I'll miss that metallic little thing in my pocket. It's been in so many places and now it's at the bottom of a trash can - what an undignified way to go.
May it rust in peace.
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I have not minded when people I am dating use it with me.
I entirely mind it when people I'm not dating (or worse: barely know) use it.As a transplant to the upper south this touches on something that drive me insane. The use of honey, hun, sugar, sweetie etc with total strangers, every time I hear it directed at me which is multiple times a day I want to ask the person, do we actually know each other?
I am fine with all of the above as terms of endearment with folks that I am endeared to or that are endeared to me but I would seriously rather have a stranger refer to me as 'hey asshole' than 'hun'.
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@ThatGuyThere said in RL Anger:
I have not minded when people I am dating use it with me.
I entirely mind it when people I'm not dating (or worse: barely know) use it.As a transplant to the upper south this touches on something that drive me insane. The use of honey, hun, sugar, sweetie etc with total strangers, every time I hear it directed at me which is multiple times a day I want to ask the person, do we actually know each other?
I am fine with all of the above as terms of endearment with folks that I am endeared to or that are endeared to me but I would seriously rather have a stranger refer to me as 'hey asshole' than 'hun'.
Surprisingly, despite living in the upstate of South Carolina for 8 years... I actually didn't hear this all that often. Not directed to me, at least. Sometimes, yes, but not as often as I'd been led to believe.
...then again, Greenville is often seen as one of the most liberal areas in that region.
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@Auspice
It could also be a difference in the regions, after all the Carolinas are on the east coast where I am currently about a third of a continent west of there, and I have noticed i hear it more in Kentucky and Tennessee then in Louisiana or Mississippi. -
@ThatGuyThere said in RL Anger:
@Auspice
It could also be a difference in the regions, after all the Carolinas are on the east coast where I am currently about a third of a continent west of there, and I have noticed i hear it more in Kentucky and Tennessee then in Louisiana or Mississippi.I did get a lot of 'hun' in the Northern KY area.
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It's very much regional. In Texas you will always be "dear", or "hon" or "sugar/sug". My favorite send up of this is a scene in King of the Hill (still the most accurate portrayal of Texas I have ever seen) where Dale's wife comes into a room and says "Have any of y'all sugs seen Dale?"
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I live in a duplex. So we only really have one neighbor who lives across from us. I can't stand them. For one, they're loud as fuck. They apparently must be deaf because there are times I can hear their tv clear as day.
And I know they smoke copious amounts of pot. Not that I care about that, I used to smoke the fuck up when I lived by myself, but the fact that I walk into my bedroom and can smell the reek of pot in there is just really annoying. Also, their kid has some kind asthma because we can hear him have coughing fits through the wall.
So yeah, light that joint, bro. Not like your kid is going to mind or anything.
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I have lived in many places in the US in my adult life. I have picked up most of them and use them a lot without thinking. This happens in my online speech patterns too. It's because I don't think of it like an affectionate love term. I just think of it as a term of speech.
I tend to use: hon, sugar, darling, honey, dear --- the most recurring.
As someone using the terms without being like, hey baby I think you are hot, but more a speech pattern. I have seen it cause issues and TRY hard not to use it. Sometimes it's hard to break our nature (maybe it's more our nurture?). I've had people think I was flirting with them, etc.
It also helps that most of my growing up/formative years were spent in the midwest. If you grew up there, you know the first thing you do is ask what's wrong. Then you ask what you can do. Then you follow up to make sure X person is okay. This also has been taken horribly, horribly wrong in the past few years.
TL;DR - Sometimes being truly a nice person IRL works really bad against you in online interactions.
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Texas... Yeah, hun, sugar, sweetie is sometimes, in the still remaining Bible belt of Texas is a way of verbally attempting to disarm a female by men that I rather thought were a relic of the past. It can be a term of endearment but in the 'olde countrye' the rednecks still use it to try to imply subjects are beyond the cognitive grasp of women. It's gotten better, much, much better but since moving from the mid cities back out to Gawd's country... Oh how I weep for the human race again. As I say recently, a bottle of whiskey in every cabinet and a gram of meth in every glove compartment, let's make America grate again.
Edit for clarification as broad brush stokes and all that.
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Usually? I don't know if I'd agree with that. Sometimes, certainly, but one woman in a gas station to another during a quick transaction calling another 'hon' proooooooobably doesn't have anything to do with the patriarchy, and that's by far where you're going to come across it more. It's very prevalent in the service industry, and that is rather the exact opposite of what you're mentioning.
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Just like everything else in our post-Political Correctness era, if you don't like someone calling you something, say something. "Yeah, could you not call me 'hon'?" There are political-social reasons not to do this, and always don't be a dick about pushing agenda in someone else's face, but I think that America is pretty well poised to start talking more openly to one another. Even if we only got there because of the negativity of the election.
Still, if someone has more respect than selfishness, they'll be okay with it,
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What? Talk about something bothering you with the actual person doing it? Noooo. That is some form of magic thinking there. You mean we aren't supposed to run to other people and have them fight 'our battles' that weren't even battles?
Too much 'nog man. You know that's not how MU* communicate.
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@TwoGunBob said in RL Anger:
Texas... Yeah, hun, sugar, sweetie is sometimes, in the still remaining Bible belt of Texas is a way of verbally attempting to disarm a female by men that I rather thought were a relic of the past. It can be a term of endearment but in the 'olde countrye' the rednecks still use it to try to imply subjects are beyond the cognitive grasp of women. It's gotten better, much, much better but since moving from the mid cities back out to Gawd's country... Oh how I weep for the human race again. As I say recently, a bottle of whiskey in every cabinet and a gram of meth in every glove compartment, let's make America grate again.
Well bless your pea-picking heart sweetie.
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You mean we aren't supposed to run to other people and have them fight 'our battles' [...]?
Humans are social creatures that create communities as long as that community protects "us". Humanity is wired to fear "them" for basic racial protection. Armed with this, religion, racism, nationalism, and as an extension jingoism make all the sense in the world. A community is much stronger than an individual, and much more likely to enforce their ("our") view.
So yes, we are absolutely supposed to run to other people and have them fight "our" battles, because we are stronger together against those who are wrong which is, of course, everyone else.
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I am, of course, being a little sardonic. Though I see the power of communities for protection, moral guidance, and so forth, I also think that I'm sick of people not being able to be reasonable directly to one another, and after having the PC movement hammered into our brains and now that we are abandoning PC with the glee of stripping off our crazy-jackets and running naked into the world...
...er, I forgot where I was going with that. Oh, if we're going to abandon socially enforced niceties, then we are in the perfect place to engage in more personal interactions, a more one-on-one personal society.
Too much 'nog man. You know that's not how MU* communicate.
Not enough 'nog; I am clearly still an optimist.
“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.”
― Carl Sagan, Cosmos -
@Thenomain said in RL Anger:
Not enough 'nog; I am clearly still an optimist.
If you can drink 'nog, you can swallow. So, on your knees, boy.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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@Thenomain said in RL Anger:
Not enough 'nog; I am clearly still an optimist.
If you can drink 'nog, you can swallow. So, on your knees, boy.
Not until I have a clear notion of your RL gender politics.
Also, dinner.
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I'll make you a peanut butter sandwich. That counts right?
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I gotta cook tomorrow, like immediately when I get home and....I'm really pissed. I'm just not feeling this Christmas. Next year I'm getting Whole Foods desserts.
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@Thenomain When you say "racial protection" do you mean "species protection" or an actual tribal-like mentality? No judgement, I'm just curious as to your phrasing.
He/Him
