RL Anger

surreality

@Sunny Not even seeing an effort at that from the other direction.

Seriously. Please. Tell me how two people apologizing to each other is me being a dick to them.

That is crazypants.

Sunny

I'm sorry you aren't seeing it, and I'm sorry you don't understand. I maintain that taking a step back would help restore clarity a lot. You've given people the same advice, you know the place I'm coming from on this.

surreality

@Sunny I do get where you are coming from, but there is literally nothing that will explain to me how offering a sincere apology to someone is being a dick to them, because that is completely antithetical to any rational sense.

I grok the subsequent things apparently make her think I keep suggesting she's attacking more -- which is why I made clear: nope, not saying that at all, don't think that even a little.

But, no, I am not going to 'just magically see' how apologizing sincerely to somebody makes me a bad person.

Sunny

@surreality

OK. Not going to engage any more than I have. Also totally not wearing the mod hat on this, so take it or leave it, no worries on that. I hope things get better for you.

WTFE

@shangexile I give you about a week, tops, before you come slinking back and pretending it was all "just fooling" us.

Auspice

Am I the only person who thinks 'Ok I've written more than 2 paragraphs maybe this is way too much no one's gonna read this shit time to delete the entire post and walk away to do something else'?

surreality

@Sunny Thank you.

I'm not mentioning kk here in a sense of thinking she did anything wrong, either. As in, we said our peace, and so far as I knew, we were cool. If the apology didn't cover everything she felt it should, I hope she tells me what else there is. I appreciate hers, and had not realized why she was upset. It was something that would upset me, too -- so I immediately understood and apologized in return.

So far as I knew, that was a positive outcome in a tense and frustrating situation, and I would hope that if she has any other issue with me she'd mention it. I am willing to listen, anyway. She asked to not be tagged, I didn't tag her, etc. She felt I was bringing it up again to attack her repeatedly -- no, not at all, and I hope I have made that clear, also.

I am wondering why in the hell KQ calls two people apologizing to one another a case of me being a bad person, because to me, that makes no sense. That is no issue between kk and me, and she bears no responsibility or blame in it.

I'm used to tagging people when they're mentioned, and didn't know that bugged her -- so I am sorry that it was bugging her and I stopped. It is no attempt to drag her into it or drag her through the dirt, etc.

It is literally 'WTF, how is two people trying to be decent humans at each other somehow me being an asshole to them?'

WTFE

@shangexile said in RL Anger:

@Meg OK, cool! Be a place where people "name and shame" and form factions. That's awesome. Just don't be surprised when the people who are named and shamed come by to do creepy shit- like, say, upvoting posts. Oh, the horror! How can we defend our fragile senses of self against the unmitigated assault of using forum features?

Oops, did I continue posting after I said I'd leave? I've seen other people do that, so I think it is OK. (Though I do intend to leave, rest assured.)

Oops. Did I say a week? I meant a minute.

Auspice

@WTFE

Dude, just put him on ignore.
If only so I don't have to see you quoting him after I put him on ignore.

Also, surr, I love you, but for fuck's sake just stop. Please. Take a day off the forums. Have some tea. Work on your knitting. I haven't even been reading anything any of you have been saying anymore, but just seeing these huge blocks of posts are making me reach for the whiskey.

kk

Things I don't like in rl.

People who smoke in public places where people have to breath it in. Like in front of buildings and on touristy walkways with lots of people walking about.
People who drive under the speed limit in the left lane when there is no reason not to be in the right lane.
That cola tastes so good and is so bad for me. Sigh!

surreality

@Auspice Hate to say it, but it's pretty hard when it feels like I'm being attacked by everyone for anything and everything I say or do, up to and including apologizing to someone.

Seriously. If apologizing to someone makes me a bad person, what recourse is there?

Agree with someone who doesn't know me that I'm somebody I'm not? No.

Auspice

But you aren't apologizing, from the looks of it. Like I said, haven't read everything because it's MASSIVE BLOCKS OF UNENDING TEXT and I am in a migraine cycle, but that sort of right there says it's not an apology. An apology is succinct.

An apology is not 'I'm sorry but here's ten million reasons why you're wrong' or 'I'm sorry but'
It's 'I apologize'

Didn't we have a whole thread on this shit?

If they don't know you they don't know you. No amount of beating at the fucking wall is going to ever change that.

Just walk the fuck away.

The horse is dead, Jim.

Auspice

@kk

My migraine meds have made it so all soda tastes flat and like it's gone bad. Enjoy that bad-for-you cola for me plz.

Ghost

Don't apologize on the apology thread.

DOOOOONT
Don't
//don't//
Do not

Dangerous.

Auspice

@Ghost said in RL Anger:

Don't apologize on the apology thread.

DOOOOONT
Don't
//don't//
Do not

Dangerous.

alt text

kk

@Auspice

I will add migraines to the list of rl things that suck. I hope you feel better soon. I will happily drink the soda, even though I shouldn't!

shangexile

@surreality Came back to give you a non trolling upvote for your kind response. Nothing more to add because the board is so toxic it doesn't make sense to have a heartfelt conversation here. You know how to find me if you wish to do so and no worries at all if you don't or if you don't yet.

@WTFE I'm guessing you read my posts all the way up to, but not including, my last exchange with @surreality. Read those and you will see why I am actually and honestly done here. I have nothing else to discuss here. I'm not MU*ing anymore.

As a side note: @surreality, you should log off for the rest of the night and do something awesome and relaxing that you enjoy. The Internet turns the best of us into Id-ruled shadows of ourselves. I should know, I'm case study number one in "From nice guy to raging asshole and back."

surreality

@Auspice This is the apology I am talking about.

There's no 'but' anywhere in there. Just, 'shit, I didn't realize you thought I put words in your mouth, I never meant to do that, I hate it when people do that to me, too', and tried to make clear (to everyone) that I do not believe she did so, and that I appreciated that she had not done so.

Edit: Formula here: 'realize error' + 'express empathy' + 'apologize' + 'take action (make clear to all I do not think she did the thing + express appreciation that she had not done the thing)'

Auspice

...but that was pages ago and you've posted blocks and blocks since.

I... seriously, babe. It may be time to take a full day off. Like, a legit serious full day. Not a 'I'm going on a break guys' and come back six hours later to post again. Go binge watch something on Netflix while knitting. Find a tool in Chrome (it has got to exist; everything exists somewhere) to disallow yourself from accessing MSB for 24 hours or something.

surreality

@Auspice That's just it. It's after that post I was accused of being a dick to her. There's one other (including nothing mean) and that that comprised the period of time between KQ saying something, and KQ saying I was continuing to be a dick.

I haven't accused kk of anything since then, just relayed that sequence of events with the question: "How does that constitute being a dick to kk?" which I feel is a reasonable question to have.