Posts made by Auspice

So, I head home this afternoon.

I have some hours to kill before then, but my mom won't be up until after noon (she's where I get my night owl tendencies from). As such, I called a friend I have in the area who was super excited to find out I'm in town and we'll be meeting up in an hour-ish when they're free.

I'm glad I'll have the time to see them. I didn't have many friends while I was married (thanks to a very controlling, manipulative, gaslighting husband) and I retained even fewer after the divorce, but she and her husband are some of the best. The rare times I do make it to town, I try to see them.

@Lisse24 said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Auspice I think it's great that language is being expanded to include step moms & foster moms & adopted moms and all kinds of moms!

I'm not OK with messaging that has to try and find a way to squeeze motherhood on you because without it, somehow you just aren't a complete woman. You can have inclusive messaging without sending the message that it's something all women need, and really, that's all I'm asking for.

My guess is they're trying to figure out a way to be inclusive (the gender issue) and haven't gotten there yet. It's a growing pain thing.

So just like they, only a handful of years ago (I've only been divorced 4 years) were still pushing the 'This day is for women who remember holding their newborn!' narrative, I imagine in another year or two... they'll have it sussed out for how to present language for all women who are mothers in an inclusive way.

The media sucks at being inclusive in advertising. We know this. I'm just glad they finally got over, after years and years and years, only celebrating women who pooped out a kid.

I dunno, I'm fine with it.

Back when I was still married, mother's day 'well wishes' were very, very 'biological mother' only and I was a stepmom. And my mother-in-law ground it in even more (she resented the fact that we hadn't given her kids). So mother's day was wildly depressing for me (I wanted kids, but I was dealing with infertility).

So seeing the constant deluge of 'IF YOU HAVE KIDS BIOLOGICALLY, HOORAY FOR YOU!' was incredibly depressing.

I understand where y'all are coming from, but as someone who was a stepmother for roughly 6 years and was surrounded by media that was very poignant in saying 'you're not a REAL mom, ha ha ha' ... I am totally OK with the attempt that has been made to shift language/advertising to be more welcoming.

https://youtu.be/j9OHOsjtBIs?t=591

@Ganymede said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Auspice

Asking another adult to stick to a schedule is neither selfish nor unreasonable.

I presume your father is unemployable.

He's worked from home for a long time, so sadly I think he's just used to doing things on his own time.

@Admiral said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Auspice Your dad is inconsiderate.

Pretty much.

I just can't ever voice this fact because he'll go in about how I'm whining and making a big deal out of 'nothing' or I'm being selfish... He puts his kids (and often his wife because he has done this sort of thing to my mother before, too) last and if we ever show how much it hurts us, we're the selfish ones.

I just keep telling myself this trip is for my mom. This will make her happy and mean a lot to her.

So I won this trip to go surprise my mom for mother's day. I've been working with my dad to keep the surprise intact and to organize things on her end.

The plan had been that I land around 2:30, I'd stop off at my hotel, then meet them somewhere around 4 for an early dinner. Perfect.

...in classic fashion my dad pulled his bullshit. Calls me to say that he's decided he'll be taking her to a late lunch today and they probably won't be ready for dinner until 8pm or so.

Cool.
Awesome.
Don't know why I woke up at 4am for an early ass flight to maximize my time or anything.

I'm gonna try to make up for it by swinging by too see my grandparents, but goddamnit. I hate how he does this. When they came to TX a couple years ago to visit me, they were supposed to pick me up for dinner....and called about two hours before they were supposed to arrive to say oh, we decided to spend longer in Dallas. We'll just head to your apartment tonight and be there sometime after midnight.

All the anxiety.

@Ganymede said in Songs on a Theme:

@Auspice said in Songs on a Theme:

What do you listen to when it's raining or storming? What songs remind you of the rain?

Garbage: I'm Only Happy When It Rains.

I was actually thinking of coming back and adding this one.

I also forgot:

Dido - Thank You

Songs evoke feelings, trigger memories... What music do you like to listen to at certain times?

Let's start with an easy one.

What do you listen to when it's raining or storming? What songs remind you of the rain?

Two for me:

GnR - Sweet Child o' Mine
Beck - Saw Lightning

I really like the guys I work with on Thursday and Friday. They're fun to be around and they're genuinely good people.

I've needed to get my days covered for this weekend (despite putting in over two weeks early) and one has spoken up to ask second shift before I even get a chance to open my mouth# asking them on my behalf (I mean, he knows I'll gladly cover shifts when he needs, but still!).

He picked up quick on my anxiety and has been cool about shit like that and making calls for me when I'm having bad days. I put in extra work elsewhere to compensate, but it's just really awesome to work with people who look out like that.

Age of Wonders III free on HumbleBundle. (ends in 2 days)

@Sparks

I'd be interested to find out if there are studies on this sort of thing.
Because it does really sound like it can cause this sort of thing, in people who dealt with extreme cases. I grew up in a crowded (big family) house with people who were either slobs or too lazy to ever clean, so now I can be a little obsessive about it. I imagine if I didn't have the fibro (just sweeping the floor wipes me out sometimes), I'd get to that 'immaculate' level.

@Wretched said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

@Auspice My grandmother and my mother are both INCREDIBLY OCD, my Grandparents house is a fucking MUSEUM, my mothers was like that but it turned to hoarding later in my life...

Suffering through other peoples OCD as a kid (endless chores with impossible standards) made me come to the conclusion that a little bit of a mess isnt the end of the world, and generally I live a life of mild clutter, but when the depression gets bad, its gets bad too.

ETA: But if someone wants to come over and use their OCD to clean my house for me I will pay you in food and weed.

I wonder if it's a triggerable thing. I grew up in a messy house. I was the only person who ever cleaned, growing up. Which was depressing and exhausting. My mom (stay at home mother) had untreated depression and just... wouldn't. My siblings were terrors until they were 18+ each in regards to keeping things clean and if they were told to clean a room, but didn't do it... I was expected to do it myself before our father got home (so, you can easily guess how things went since they knew the only repercussions would fall on me). Juggling school, part-time jobs, and having to tend to the family (because I sometimes had to figure out dinner, too, when my mother's state was worse) was just... too much.

So I think it's partly this ingrained nervous tic. Cleaning up after myself, organizing, etc.

This is where the OCD is mildly beneficial. I mean, it sucks when I have shit to do and get caught, say, scrubbing cabinet faces for an hour.

But for the most part, I can keep everything tidy. My place isn't immaculate (there's dust on the bookshelves and the baseboards could use a good scrubbing), but it's clean. Everything stays put away (because I can't stand an unorganized surface/area), I sweep regularly, etc....

Like, thankfully, that is one area I do all right. But I have slipped into the depression clutter as @Wretched puts it before. I had that while I was between jobs in March. It's no fun and I feel for anyone who deals with it regularly. I'll take my irregular OCD fits over that, admittedly.

@Sparks said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

@Auspice — something I have learned roommates are excellent for is periodically asking "have you actually eaten?"

(My answer has historically been "oops" more often than it should be. Hopefully the meds change that!)

Back when I lived in Cincinnati, I had a friend who would drop by my place a couple nights a week, food in hand: 'I know you haven't eaten yet today.' It really is a wonderful thing for those of us who just... space because something as simple as a walk to the kitchen can become two hours doing other stuff (esp. if you have an OCD element to your ADD/ADHD as well).

On work days, I do eat because I have my lunch break and there's a cafeteria on site. So there's at least that definite every workday I get a good lunch. But... dinner is more hinky and I only work 4 days a week. So those other 3 days? I sometimes don't remember to eat until 4, 5pm.

1pm: I should probably eat today.
(Got distracted by YouTube.)

2pm: I should probably eat today.
(Went to kitchen, decided to refill cat food, ultimately ended up vacuuming and cleaning bedroom)

3pm (now): Jesus why do I feel like I'm gonna pass o- oh. I never actually ate did I?

Bonus round: while writing this I realized I left the cat food bowls on the kitchen counter. I'm gonna get home to some unhappy kitties.

Ryan Reynolds leaked Detective Pikachu on YT.

@Arkandel said in RL Anger:

@surreality said in RL Anger:

I want a Don't Panic! room, full of bubble wrap, bean bag chairs, fuzzy throws, abundant kittens, and an endless coffee dispenser. With Netflix.

If you have cats then a panic room won't be of any use to you. Good luck getting them to go in there (or anywhere) at a time of need.

Not mine. They follow me everywhere around the apartment. One even begins crying if she's been napping, wakes up, and I'm not in the room as expected.
...honestly it gets tiresome eventually.

@Alamias said in RL Anger:

@surreality You forgot towels.

If you're a Con-goer, esp. Origins or GenCon, there is a lady who makes very nicely embroidered 'Don't Panic' towels. You should all buy one from her.
(She's a friend-of-a-friend, but I support all crafters and really, her towels ARE quite nice.)