Posts made by Auspice

@Thenomain said in When To Stop Listening To Those Voices:

@silverfox said in When To Stop Listening To Those Voices:

@Apos said in When To Stop Listening To Those Voices:

It is simple. Don't think too much about your own character.

^^^ That, that, that.

Doesn’t. Work. Half. The. Time.

Sorry but it doesn’t. It is not a trivial thing for some people (for me people, but I’m not alone here) to just adjust to the group.

I actually need to agree with Thenomain (for his points, yes, but also for something else). Just the other day, @Apos, you made a post in the Gripes thread about people assuming IC strife was for OOC reasons.

This is why people can and do think too much about their character. It's why I have, before. It's why I've hesitated on the enter key on an action I know my character would take because those voices flare up in my head and I think: 'would this person be mad at me? I don't know them, at all, but... are they going to get angry OOC? Are they going to think I hate them? Is this going to make them run to Staff?'

Because of situations like the one Apos vented about, sometimes we anxious people do think a lot about our characters. I lean pretty heavily on friends to not only read over poses, IC communications, and IC plans... but also to push me to do them. The anxiety is always worse with people I don't know.

So I don't think that advice really works, unfortunately. Speaking as a major anxiety-sufferer. The 'don't think too much about your own character' sounds good in theory, but it doesn't work in practice. What does work?

Trust your friends. And I mean friends. The people who have been there through thick and thin. The people who have proven themselves. The ones that aren't selfish. The ones that will tell you how it is. The ones who can take the truth themselves without breaking down. If they tell you yes, go for it: go for it. If they tell you that you're going too far, pull back.

But the anxiety monster is a very multi-layered thing and it is a master of prediction and multi-tasking and it will lay out every goddamn possible scenario for you and then FREAK OUT ABOUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. So any 'don't think about' or 'calm down' or 'forget about the small things' ... these don't work. But 'trust in the people that have proven themselves' - this one does. At least for me. Even if sometimes they have to kick me in the ass to move on an action that I should take for the betterment of my character.

For anyone struggling with the system, a few things of note:

I have a copy of the core book I can share.

The system honestly makes CG a bit... easier, IMO, once you get used to it. The problem sometimes with the trait-based is how difficult it can be to write things out, how much writing you have to do, and how you can come out the other side and see oh, well, X got approved with this and I got approved with that, but comparatively... It's tricky balancing Marvel and DC (and the other publishers), but ZG is super awesome about balance.

And lastly, ZG made a post about how if you want help with your char (and there's no data file to pull from out there / in the books), he'll gladly put together your sheet with/for you.

@Arkandel said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Auspice To be fair, the worst physical pain I've ever experienced in my life - bar none - was a cracked, infected tooth. It was near the back of my mouth and had it happen on a Thursday night when I lived in a small city for a while whose dentists were all going to a convention for the weekend.

That weekend. Was not. Fun. I couldn't sleep, I could barely function.

I suspect human life before reliable dentistry was not a lot of fun a lot of the time.

Whereas one of the worst physical pains I've ever experienced was a dry socket and then the dental tech trying to shove the... whatever they put into it to treat it when I got the emergency dental appt.

(Joyful note: you can follow all of the rules after a pulled tooth, but if you're anemic, you may still end up with a dry socket)

That's why I have such severe anxiety over dental work now. I used to be totally A-OK about it. Even with my issues with novocaine and all. But after that experience, I just completely shut down and am terrified to go.

I don't floss. I don't floss because my mouth/teeth are so crowded that it hurts. I do brush regularly. I do use mouthwash.

A handful years ago I had a dental visit that was 'wow your teeth are in amazing shape and only one filling? that's great!'

Not four months later, I had a tooth go so bad it had to be pulled. Just... all of a sudden. And yes, the dentist I saw who gave me a clean bill was great dentist. My dad has had great teeth his whole life and his dental hygiene is utter crap. My mom is pretty much obsessive over hers and she's had root canals, crowns, the whole shebang.

I'm terrified over what they'll need to / want to do over the tooth falling apart in my mouth currently, but I can't get over the anxiety to go get it taken care of because of how badly the tooth pulling went. I need like, a dentist buddy or something.

I just thought I'd mention that the following chars just opened up and none were played much/at all:

Superman
Shadowcat
Black Canary

I know these three tend to be p. popular, so hey!
We also still have no Flash?! (Or GL but I mean srsly, no Flash? Gosh.) But overall, the game is steadily picking up, people are starting to run events, so it's a good time to step in.

@Quinn said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

Did I mention I'm one of those rare people that has a hard time with anesthetic working? So I got to have novocaine shots three times for the max amount I could possibly have.

And then still they had to avoid one area of my tooth.

Ask me about my first c-section and the doctors not believing me when I said "I can feel that!"

I am in this same boat. There's a gene that goes along with the gene that gives red hair that apparently makes you more likely to be immune to anesthetics and pain killers.

I discovered it when I had to have a baby tooth pulled when I was 12. They gave me the max dose, shrugged, decided I was 'just being a baby' and went for it anyway.

Thankfully now I'm a goddamn adult and they have to listen. It does mean I need, for dental work, to get my jaw 'blocked' instead, but yeah. Shit sucks. I am legit jealous of those for which novocaine, lidocaine, etc. works for. But it just adds to my severe dental anxiety.

My teeth were great... then the strugglebus began and I had one really bad experience with a tooth having to be removed. I need to go back to the dentist because I know I have another bad tooth, but that one was so bad that I just end up with such horrifying anxiety that I'll make an appointment, then cancel it.

Sometimes, yes, it is bad oral hygiene. And sometimes it is genetics.

@Ganymede said in Good or New Movies Review:

@Arkandel

I have to say that, of the things that are being hyped right now, this is the least interesting.

I have to agree with this. I felt that we'd sort of put LotR to bed with the Hobbit movies.

I like LotR, don't get me wrong, but... I felt done. Ready to move on. Let's do something else. Like maybe look at one of the other fantasy series that wasn't done right on the screen (or hasn't been done at all yet???).

The only work related thing on my desk are a few notepads with random notes on them in my cursive handwriting that most people are too lazy to read.

Everything else is on a resource site we all have access to. No one should ever need to fuck with things on my desk because the rest is mine.

Honestly, the best/longest WoT game I played on stuck to the traditional roles.

I am pro-sticking with the female Aes Sedai and male Warders. Society full of lady mages, lessgo.

@Macha

Some people really do not understand how much smells can affect people.

Like why tf an air freshener and not a purifier?

@RnMissionRun

Considering I don't even make 40k... I'd be thrilled. But I also know Maryland's cost of living (it's a big part of why I left) so yeah. I feel you.

I desperately hope to find something new but I am very stuck in being well past entry level and even marginally into management...

So I think I'm just stuck in land of over/under qualified.

I think the issue here is that I haven't gotten legitimately angry. I do my best not to at work because I have anger issues and I try to keep them under wraps. I get frustrated, yes. I've had anxiety attacks (because OCD), yes.

The issue is that this girl, I think, is trying to cover her own ass and get me out the door before she loses her own job because she keeps fucking shit up. And our boss fucked up ethics rules shit and she knows a few of us (because I'm not the only one tired of her shit) are on to her fucking up.

Because she's fucking up at her job and at the same time: she has an ego issue.

She's the one who will try to interrupt the call you're on to tell you 'oh you should do this instead' and be wrong.
She'll try to interrupt the chat you're having with management to make a suggestion... and be wrong.
She'll be the one getting into an argument with a user about 'NO IT NEEDS TO BE DONE LIKE THIS' ... and be wrong.

But a few weeks back, I was following up on some of our new hire work and came across one that was due the following day that she'd marked 'finished' and found.... she'd done about 10% of it. So I (privately, ofc) went to our team lead and told him. I showed him what was up so he could sit down with her and re-train her on how it should be done and then I went in and fixed it all that night.

Next day tho, our boss was all (to the ENTIRE TEAM) 'You two need to learn how to get along! You're always complaining about her and she's always complaining about you!'

That was the first time I'd ever made any actual 'complaint' and it wasn't even. It was a 'Hey, this is a big problem and if the client had seen this, it'd look bad for our whole team.'

But our boss doing that was like, a huge fucking ethical NOPE. I prob shoulda gone right to HR but I am so strongly a 'don't rock the boat' sort.

I know another guy on our team (who DOES get angry: this dude will put people on mute to cuss at them/the situation/anything >.>) who is sick of her shit and will leave me email rants about how he wishes she'd just shut up and stop the ego trips.

So my guess is: she went from 'yay, another girl on the team!' to 'queen bee' trip once I 'got her' in trouble even tho I was trying to cover everyone's ass and I kept that shit confidential (it was the boss' fault it got made public). But then again, there's the whole 'she's always complaining about you' aspect so maybe she had that issue all along.

@RnMissionRun said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Auspice said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

nally went 'fuck it' and sunk the money into a professional redoing my resume for me when my tax refund came in. Because I know I'm just not good at the jargon and self-bragging required in resumes. I've only been sending it out there for a few days, so I gotta give it time. For the past couple years, I've been averaging a few interviews a quarter, but never the JOB itself.
So h

Whoa, you have your tax refund already? I'm still waiting for my 1095-A

Thankfully I got all my shit in fast and got my refund last week. This was the first year I've ever gotten a full refund since I was a teenager (and those piddly things never really counted :P).

@Ganymede said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Auspice said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

I'm on a 'performance plan' currently for poor teamwork because 'some of [my] coworkers feel nervous working with me because I get angry if my desk is changed around.' Now, I've spoken to who I can (again, she and I largely are never on the same shift: happens maybe once a month) since I was put on this action plan.

My co-workers should be nervous working with me if they move shit around on my desk. After all, I listen to Dragonforce regularly at work.

I just think it's fucking common courtesy! I don't go around fucking with other peoples' shit. I think it should be a reasonable expectation that mine is left alone.

I wouldn't run crying to management/HR about 'it's upsetting that soandso is angry because I mucked up things on her desk!' Fuck, if someone came to me, as a manager, with that complaint, my first question would be: 'Why were you messing with someone else's belongings? How would that make you feel?'

The other issue I keep trying to impress is that we have nerf guns in the office. As someone who has been there over a year, I have a better one. It's one of the perks. Every single time I am given extra nerf darts... they're gone the next day. My gun is emptied and left haphazardly somewhere else. Maybe on my desk. Maybe not.

And I've tried to express to my boss that this is upsetting. By the time I get in, everyone else has their nerf guns back on their desk, a stash of nerf darts.... me? No stash. Gun sometimes not even on the desk and discarded somewhere. I have tried to explain: this makes me feel left out. This makes me feel like no one gives a shit about me being part of the team (see above re: being written up for 'lack' of teamwork).

His reply? 'Ha ha we just get so into the game that it's every man for himself and we grab whatever's on hand! It's not about you.'

Right. But then everyone cleans up and gathers darts for themselves. No one has the presence of mind to think of me?

When the late crew (me, the two other guys, and the HR guy if he's stuck there late) have nerf wars, you know we we DON'T do? We don't fucking touch the guns or darts on other peoples' desks. I only grab ones left on the floor since, well, I NEVER FUCKING HAVE ANY.

@Sunny I've been trying really hard to find a new job.

I finally went 'fuck it' and sunk the money into a professional redoing my resume for me when my tax refund came in. Because I know I'm just not good at the jargon and self-bragging required in resumes. I've only been sending it out there for a few days, so I gotta give it time. For the past couple years, I've been averaging a few interviews a quarter, but never the JOB itself.

So here's hoping the new resume will increase the interview rate and I'll find that new job.

I've been trying to decide, for a while, if I'm gonna get TD2 or not.

I liked the first one quite a bit, but my interest often waned quickly when I played solo. I had so much more fun (and still do) when I played with someone. It was just always more enjoyable with a buddy (or two). So I keep looking at TD2 and going ehhhhhhhhh- because I can't guarantee I'll be able to grab people on the regular to play with and I fear it'll have that same drop-off playing solo.

As a number of you know (due to recent discussions), I have OCD. And the anxiety that goes with it (also goes with my major depression, woo!).

At work, this shows up sometimes with the issue of my desk. I have only a few items on my desk, but they are arranged just so. And my desk height (we have those desks that can be programmed at a specific height) is programmed just so. I don't touch anything on anyone else's desk unless I have to leave them a note or similar and in turn, I expect my desk not to be touched. Both because of my OCD and because, IMO, it's common courtesy not to touch someone's desk.

Everyone has their own desk, but for some unknown reason, one of my coworkers keeps working at mine and not her own. I've asked a few of the people (she and I work on different shifts) why she does this, but no one knows. Just that she does.

She moves the monitors around. She changes the desk height. My things are changed around. I once had brought a pack of gum in, but after 80% of it disappeared to other people, I decided never to do that again.

I'm on a 'performance plan' currently for poor teamwork because 'some of [my] coworkers feel nervous working with me because I get angry if my desk is changed around.' Now, I've spoken to who I can (again, she and I largely are never on the same shift: happens maybe once a month) since I was put on this action plan.

One guy has said he actively prefers to work with me out of anyone else in the office.
Another said he has never noticed me being 'angry' or anything of the sort and seemed downright confused by the whole thing.
The third was wholly sympathetic because his wife also has anxiety and OCD issues.

It leaves two others: the girl who keeps using my desk (and is likely the source of the complaint) and one other guy.

I tried explaining the OCD and anxiety to my boss and just got a 'ha ha you just need to let go of the small things' brush off in response. So it looks like I need to resurface my medical accommodation paperwork (it got stalled because I think my doctor felt weird about doing mental health paperwork, but finding a psychiatrist or psychologist locally who doesn't want to be paid out of pocket up front around here has been v. difficult) and slap my boss with it.

But seriously: am I alone in that I expect people to just not fuck with the things on my desk? Does everyone just freely mess with other peoples' shit at work and is totally chill about having theirs messed with? Because he seriously tried to make it out like I was and I wholeheartedly think he was talking out his ass. No one wants to come into work to find their shit in disarray day after day and when you're talking about 'teamwork,' it makes you feel like you're the joke of the team and the outsider.

@Aria

Urgh, I am sorry. Yeah, pro-booze then. And that somewhat sounds like what we did end up doing because family just kept pushing... and pushing. It became 'potluck in the park' essentially. I made family pay for it. All I paid for was the officiant because ultimately it became 'This isn't what I wanted' anymore. (and while I kinda wish I'd been more firm, I was just so tired by that point and the ex-husband just wanted it to stop, too)

All you can do is stand your ground: your wedding is yours. It's for you two, the couple. It is not for her, period. Full-stop. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Focus on doing you. Focus on friends. Focus on the family that will be there (like y'all's parents). And, hey, if you trust whichever of your parents is directly related to her? Talk to them. I finally confided in my dad how much I could not deal with his sister because of how she'd been treating me and the last time I saw her, she was a million times better than she had been the previous times. Sometimes it takes their own sibling going 'hey, leave my kid alone' and being reminded that you are a goddamn adult and it's not some 'co-parenting' situation.

@Sparks said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

So in a pinch, remind Aunt Karen that if she doesn't like the way you're planning things, you could always just elope?

Seriously. I wish I had.

My first mistake back when I got married was telling family I was getting married. I wanted to just go and see a judge. And I told them this. So 'Well, shouldn't your parents at least be there?' became 'But what about your siblings?' and '...you grandparents?' and eventually every extended relative under the sun.

Just always remind yourself: this is for you two. And be more than willing (and loop in your most vehement, rockstar of a 'willing to back your ass up friend' if you can) to remind family of this, too. It's your day. If they want it to be about them, they can foot the bill and put down the non-refundable deposits.