Posts made by boneghazi

Also this. It's big so I wanted to put it in spoilers but I also don't know how....

***BIG***

Any of these talented af artists here got an instagram that I can follow?

I'm old and I just signed up for my first ig account, and I'm learning how to use it but I want to follow artists and nerds I like and would be prone to interacting with and fangirling over. ie @Crawfish.

Just note... I am not asking for personal accounts to be exposed in public. Please don't give our personal stuff in public forums! But if if you WANT me to follow your personal thing just DM me. I'd be happy to.

Since his PC died I have wondered where he went off to and if he is doing ok! If someone knows him I will happily pass you my discord to give to him! Thanks.

I love it when this thread updates...

Unfortunately I don't have a facebook (my mom be looking through my time line and picking fights with me about something I posted 8 years ago).

I also got it randomly on discord. Must be a heckin popular image (can you blame people tho)

IDK where to put this but this forum needs it.

If @Ganymede made a Laurent.

Do you like horror movies? Gore? Black humor?
How about the Power Rangers?
Psycho Goreman is for you.

Today was the 1st day of 1st grade!!!!
Last year Kindergarten i homeschooled my kid. So he hasnt been around other kids really since november 2019 thanks to covid.
Hes gone a bit feral but he is far less shy than previous years.

Today i dropped him off.... I walked him to class and during our 8 minute walk he forgot his name, fell and skinned his knee, and ran into a table.

He will survive this right?

@rinel He was running, like pacing back and forth in a panic. I managed to get him over by pulling up a lawn chair from the inside and as soon as he was on top of the planter (about hip height) he wrapped his arms around my neck and I carried him down the other side.

My English wasn't good there, I was pretty exhausted. Sorry! Still probably not great.

@goblin And it turns out the neighbor had a key the entire time. lmfao.

I'm not really angry or disgruntled, but I've had a long day and I wanted to blow some steam off about it. It's not really embarrassing, but there is a story. So.

Today I had two things to do. Pick up my kid's books at his school and then pop him over to the barber. That's it. I was keeping my expectations low.

This morning, my husband's phone was acting up so he took my mother in law's phone. And his. He never replaced mine from The Accident of 2019 where he destroyed my cellphone with his butter fingers.

I had to borrow my sister in law's car. Our second one is having a check up at the mechanic.

So, I was in a strange car, with no cellphone.

I managed to grab the books at my kid's school, and we were in a great mood. I turned on the radio and got three or four blocks away, stopped at a stoplight and then... something snapped. I couldn't get the car going again.

Felt like the clutch but also the brakes were weird too. Not important. What's important here, was that I was now stranded with my kid in an intersection.

All we had was Jesus. So I'm like JESUS SEND SOME HELP PLEASE. I can't abandon the car in the middle of an intersection. I mean I CAN but like, ehhh I'd rather not.

That's when two angels appeared (not really, some passerby's, and pushed my car to safety. I still had absolutely no way to contact help.

We are only about 3-4 miles away from home. No choice but to hoof it.

About a third of the way there I realized we were passing by my cousin's house, and he rarely locks doors. He can't even remember to lock doors and always leaves a gate open for me if I need to get in. AHA I said. Let me just... slip in there and call for help.

"Lets go back to the car," my sweet innocent child said.
"Why, what's the car going to do for us?"
"Maybe Jesus fixed it while we were away."

We pursued to cousin's house.

Everything is locked up. But I thought, maybe, if we could get past the gates and to the actual doors, we can just get in. It's not like he could have remembered to lock ALL THE GATES AND DOORS RIGHT?

Right. So, I'm like, hey kid lets get you over this gate and you can try the door.

Suddenly, for the first time in his life, my kid is afraid of heights and despite 3 attempts, no - no he didn't go over the gate.

Personally, I'm wearing a pair of tight skinny jeans - but I'm not skinny - so I am not nimble enough to pull it off unless I take my pants off. And that's not going to happen.

So, I pull a 150lbs. cement planter over next to the brick wall after popping my nose over it to see where would be the best place to put it.

And I manage to get up on the 8-9" wall.

My kid hides his face in the wall against his clasped hands and starts loudly praying to Jesus that I don't fall and die.

Thank you kiddo for your vote of support.

I land fine, but have something of an out of body experience as I hit the ground. I've hurt my foot, feels a bit sore but... I'm ok. Nothing is broken.

I pull a lawn chair up to the wall and get my kid over, who's panicked and running up and down the length of the wall screaming.

He immediately gets, fully dressed, into the pool. It's of course, 9:30am so it's FREEZING and I'm yelling for him to get out because we have no towels. And now I'm limping around to all the doors and windows to see if there's a way in.

There is one door open. It is to the outdoor toilet in the garden 'center'. The others - and windows - are all locked. And now I don't think I'll be able to scale the wall again with my foot.

So I sat down and I thought. And I looked under every pot plant and every garden gnome and found absolutely no keys.

AHA! A friendly neighbor. I shout over the wall to him. He is obviously reluctant to me using his phone, and making phone calls for me, even though he manages to dial 3 numbers anyway - no one picks up.

Because they don't know the number.

Meanwhile my kid is screaming from the back yard, "I GOTTA POOOOOOO"

Remember the outdoor toilet?

Well my kid drops a deuce and it won't flush because there's no running water. I assume because the water is turned off, but I can't find a way to turn it back on. So. Whatever. At least he didn't do it in his pants.

I waited for an hour for someone to miss me and I thought about my sister in law in a couple hours, and my mother in law - with no way to contact me, they MIGHT send someone to look for me and they'd find the abandoned vehicle but who would think to look at me here, at my cousin's house? We would have to wait 8 hours in the African Heat (35 Celcius) with nothing to drink or eat, and with my kid just whining.

Time to break a window.

I find the heaviest object I can. It is an old cement duck sitting in a bird bath.

I'm about to throw it through the window pane of the door when my kid starts screaming "NO NO NO YOU'LL KILL US BOTH!" and crying. He's legit, terrified at this point and is crying that he wants to get home. I tell him to go stand aside... (he moves to the other side of the pool in case, IDK, the duck causes a nuclear explosion) and I throw it through.

It makes a small hole, so I kick the rest of the window out and slip through. Then, help my kid through.

I finally called someone. Uncle to the rescue. He measures the glass and orders it over the phone for pick up.

He takes us both back home and is fixing the car.

When my cousin comes home, he finds his wall has been scaled, window broken (but swept up), and someone has left a deuce in his toilet without flushing.

@too-old-for-this Yes. Wool is the DEVIL. I can't even. I stick to cotton.

And when I go shopping before I even seriously look at anything, I touch it. It's never been an issue but last year I took my husband for a shop for a few new things and he took issue with it because corona.

"WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING EVERYTHING?!"
"It's IMPORTANT."

Anyone else have weird clothing ADHD symptoms? Like being really triggered by tags and rough clothing and...

So, this is not the first time he'd been bitten by a brown recluse.

Just over a year, maybe closer to two he was bitten on the ass. yeah, it was bad.

It turns out that one of the places he receives stock from in the USA (a guitar manufacturing company) is over run with them.

He receives the stock and wears protection now, but the problem happens is when the guitars are brought into the storage room, they get comfy and creep out.

...And then up my husband's leg to say how do you do.

He wears tightie whities so I'm not sure how it got that close to his jimmy jangles but there you go. My husband's luck. They're spraying for them now to hopefully murder them before anyone else gets nailed.

My husband was bitten by a brown recluse spider right next to his dick.

The first thing my mom says is "I hope it's not an STD".

*ETA: Brown recluse spiders do not carry STDs.

Then, she's checking to make sure I have anti virus (like who doesn't) and is going to force me to download signal because discord and facebook don't have end to end encryption and now she's an expert.

Fucking boooooooooooooomers.

@testament I wish I hadn't. omg.

Marion Ramsay, officer Hooks from police academy

She was 73.

Streamin' Judge Dredd again today! Like right now.

Yes I'm doing it too. Well, a bunch of people are and I was just lucky enough to get invited to participate.

Wednesday night is the Judge Dredd game - starting in about 20 min.

https://www.twitch.tv/tabletopanthologies/