Best posts made by Ganymede

@kk said in Autism and The MU* Community:

One could even argue I am not really autistic, but am instead developementally disabled or learning disabled around language.

I do not argue with a person as to whether they are autistic or not. It is extraordinarily brave, I think, for any adult to admit their perceived weaknesses.

When I say that my daughter has a superpower, I mean it. And like many superheroes, she has her weaknesses. I think we are all like that, to some degree, and while your weakness may be in reading or writing, that does not mean you do not have other superpowers to boast of. For example, you seem very compassionate to me, you worked straight through COVID times as a nurse, and you took on so many shifts during that period that you admitted your exhaustion.

So, you've got superpowers, and the weaknesses that come with it. Own them both!

@HelloProject said in Game Stagnancy and Activity:

I know that this might sound like I'm pulling shit out of my ass ...

No, you're pretty dead on.

1. Give your players the ability to affect the world. Endorse it. Facilitate it.
2. Have a tight theme, so that whatever your players want to do will fit in to your vision.
3. Keep the grid small.

Not too toot it too frequently, but BSG:U has this down-pat. My squad nearly got totally fucked up a few hours ago in a player-run plot. The combat code is unforgiving. And we all had a blast, even though one of us nearly died a horrible death.

@il-volpe

So, the people you have worked with are assholes.

Your experience as an NA is different than an NT, but the cause is the same.

Assholes be assholes.

1. Do not touch others without their consent.
2. If an alternative is less damaging and available, use it.

Simple rules of office etiquette.

@rucket

She literally asked me to ban her; I literally asked everyone to stop talking about the issues until I can confer with mietze.

Mietze has asked for time to deal with her own things before she comes back to deal with issues here.

I accept the responsibility for what has happened, and there will be a summation of what has happened and what will happen, I promise.

If everyone would give mietze the courtesy of giving her (and by extension me as well) the time to work through this, I'm sure she'd appreciate it.

@derp said in The Work Thread:

As an alternative: You can hire a firm to send a demand letter. That tends to be both kind of scary and relatively cheap.

You might even be able to get the firm to do it for free if you elect to give them 50% of whatever money you may be able to squeeze to settle the claim.

As a good general, this is my suggestion:

• Secure new place of employment;
• Have firm send letter;
• Give appropriate notice of departure; and
• Make sure your co-workers know who you hired to smack your soon-to-be-ex-employer.

Because nothing says shitballs than a mountain of lawsuits from the same firm for the same situation.

The recent changes to moderation levels across the board were the result of extensive discussion between mietze, Derp, and I. I am cognizant of their appearance, but it was the product of agreement between the three of us.

"Course correction" has been a slow process, and I appreciate everyone's patience through it. What I can say is that RL matters, which shall always take precedence, have taken priority. Until the admins as a collective are settled back into their normal pace of life, the process may continue to be slow.

@Arkandel said:

This is obviously an emotionally charged issue and a sensitive one to discuss. So help me - maybe others in my shoes - see how we can help.

Here's where to start -- admitting your ignorance.

Next, listen to the testimonial, and presume the truth. There's no need to go out of the way to determine the truth if the goal of the testimonial is to beg for improvement, rather than punish someone. Work with the presumptions of truth to find a policy that balances the need of protecting victims and protecting innocents.

Talking about fixing a potential problem is always helpful, especially of the potential problem becomes a real one.

Just be open to listening. My partner never wants my solutions, but she sure as hell likes to talk about her problems.

@testament said in Positivity Going Forward...:

If you want to come back, fine. But there isn't really a need to hide it.

I have no doubt that my name is being uttered in parts of the Internet in ways that would give me a reason to hide who I am.

@ghost said in Positivity Going Forward...:

I'd like to see a community in the hobby where those elements (or the urges to clap back because people are being mean) aren't necessary where I can make friends and swap ideas.

That's why we are trying this.

@Derp said:

My main beef is that a lot of the tone of these things seems to be calling for something more proactive than reactive. The people who are reactive to such things are called out just as much for being part of the problem for not being proactive and, you know, doing something before they've seen anything to do something about.

Admittedly, it is difficult for the average gamer to be proactive. In some cases, it is difficult to be proactive at all.

Let's take @Sunny's example of being cornered the bathroom by a dude twice her size. A proactive course of action may be to stick a security guard in front the women's bathroom to make sure that no men go in. But, then, what if you have a transgendered individual heading in there? You don't want the guard to stop someone because they look or dress like a man. And then, how does this prevent a woman twice @Sunny's size from doing the same thing?

The best proactive course of action is to train ourselves to stop searching for the doubt in an accusation. In MU*ing, when I've confronted people for harassment, I can honestly say that none of the accused have ever told me, flat out, that a harassing conversation or event did not occur. More often than not, they claim: oh, I didn't know; I thought we were friends; I'm disappointed they would think that of me; and so on. It has never been: "that conversation never happened." Which tells me that the perpetrator, out of ignorance or with intent, engaged in behavior that I considered inappropriate. And that's more than enough evidence for me to take action.

Most of us can spot a drama llama a mile away, just from the nature of the accusation. But when a woman says that a person acted towards them in a manner that made them feel uncomfortable, that's not an unclear accusation. Whether their reaction -- becoming uncomfortable -- is reasonable or not, the fact is that whatever happened made them uncomfortable. And, if you confront someone who is ignorant of that, they are apt to apologize or make excuses for their behavior. And if they pick option B, then you take action.

@Thenomain said in RL Anger:

I'm still hoping that someone can tell me what situations make a response of "Not All Men" taboo, possibly via a web link toward an explanation that is even to both men and women.

Here's how it works, friend.

When women make a point to mention that men are part of the problem, they are directing the focus of the discussion towards the somewhat-ingrained misogyny that men are inculcated with on a daily basis. The focus of attention -- that is, what those women are trying to convey -- is that men, as a population, need to be aware of the problem.

The defense of "not all men" is beside the point, and adjusts the focus towards the erroneous nature of any generalization.

Much like the "All Lives Matter" response to "Black Lives Matter," proponents of the latter are justifiably offended by the adjustment of the conversation away from what is perceived to be the actual problem. Yes, all lives matter; however, the proponents are protesting the fact that, empirically, black lives are treated quite differently.

So, to apply that rule here: yes, not all men are misogynistic; however, please realize that "civilized" society is inherently misogynistic, and that's what the conversation should be focused on. And the reason why men "are part of the problem" is because they are the beneficiary of those misogynistic institutions that keep such beliefs at the forefront of policy.

Hopefully, this explanation makes sense.

This isn't to say that I find @Lithium's attempts to explain satisfactory or effective; rather, I found the opposite. But I do understand why it's upsetting, and, much like the importance of black lives, I can understand why a woman would take extreme umbrage to the misunderstanding.

@Insomnia said in Pokemon Go:

The one where she put the hot coffee between her legs and drove off and got burned because McDonalds made the coffee hotter than other places (which was found to be within industry standards and in line with other places that served hot coffee), so now we have "Caution Contents Hot" on coffee cups now? People shouldn't need to be warned coffee is hot.

Jury awarded $160,000 in compensatory damages, and the $2.4 million punitive award was reduced to $640,000. It should be noted that the plaintiff spent 8 days in the hospital, and needed skin grafting and two years of treatment. There's a good chance that most of the compensatory damages went to pay medical bills and/or health insurance companies under a subrogation theory.

According to Wikipedia, the source of all factual things, the plaintiff apparently only sought $20,000 for actual and anticipated compensatory damages. McDonald's countered with $800. Then she put her claim in the hands of an attorney.

@Wizz said in RL Anger:

Before I had my kid he was practically all I thought about in my free time and I was severely depressed, and I thought that would change when he came out and in a lot of ways it has, he is a little ball of sunshine and I love him to death...but now I'm just lonely and exhausted all the time. Jesus, single dad life.

There are a lot of single moms out there just looking for a man to understand what they are going through. They aren't looking for love; they aren't looking for sex; they are just looking to end the loneliness.

May want to look into support groups. They exist.

I'd tell you to take comfort in the fact that you are better than many, many other people in the world, but that probably won't help much.

But, if you ever get the point that you are, like BWWAAAAAAHH HULK SMAAAAASH, I'm pretty sure you'll find more positive allies here than you might expect from a board full of sulking gamers.

@surreality said in State of Things:

And those consequences are almost never, ever for them. Which is intensely frustrating.

This is why I'm pro-Nazi-punching.

Seriously. Punch them. Hard.

Yesterday was my birthday, but today is Lesbian Visibility Day.

One of my favorite Facebook profiles put up pics of awesome lesbian representation in media, and that sort of pushed me to put up my own, especially those that pop up in non-sexualized stories.

So, yeah.

@ghost

This sounds very awful and I offer my sympathy. I've been through a similar situation, but made a choice which I know is hard for anyone who isn't a cat or a robot.

One of my best friends. When things are good they're great, but every 2nd or 3rd game night it's just this massive black cloud that's REALLY difficult to navigate.

I can't speak for your feelings, and I know that there is more to the story as to why this person is one of your best friends, but I can't help but feel that you are telling yourself that they are so close in order to justify the guilt you feel in wanting to tell them off. Further, I think you want to justify why you feel like a bad friend even though you're not the one acting badly. Said another way, you may consider them a friend, but I don't think they are treating you like one.

I offer this anecdote.

My best friend back home was my first girlfriend. We have known each other for over 25 years. (Fuck, I'm old.) She got married, had her first child, and then was struck by nasty post-partem depression. During the course of her treatment, she developed mania and severe anxiety. She didn't tell me a thing about it for two years, during which she never returned my calls or texts. But when she did finally reconnect, she explained simply: I didn't talk to you because I didn't want my problems to be your problems. I disagreed with her strategy, but I can understand that what she did had good intentions.

I'm not seeing that here.

I want to approach them as a brother and recommend counseling and seeing a doctor about it, but I'm afraid they'll go super edgelord about it or storm off out of the friendship out of "chase me" rage.

I will borrow from Hagakure here, as I do these days:

"There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you still get the same soaking."

If your friend wants help, they will listen; if they do not, they will not; so there is nothing to do but accept that the result is actually out of your control.

@Derp said in What Would it Take to Repair the Community?:

I'm not saying it has to be a precise mathematical formulation pointing to this-and-no-other conclusion, but I'd like to see something that backs up that theory if people are going to make the accusation, you know? Give me something.

Preemptively banning someone is not something I do lightly, but when I do I can assure anyone that asks that I have done my homework. No one has to believe me when I say that, and my word as a person is on somewhat shaky grounds these days -- or so I have been told.

They are "usual suspects." As has been pointed out, the number of actual, serious threats have been few and far between. I can count on my hand the number of folks I have or would have done this to. In each case, I have made a simple calculus: is the damage that may be caused by a pre-emptive ban greater than the damage that could be done in the absence of the same? Said another way, I like to make sure that the value of "I have done something" is greater to the community than the price of "I have done nothing."

But ultimately, it was my choice. If people did not and do not like it, so be it. I have long abandoned any ruse or delusion that this place was a haven of free speech or a marketplace of ideas. If it wanted to be so, it failed years ago, and I made no conscious effort in the past two years to change it.

@Seraphim73 said in What Would it Take to Repair the Community?:

One of the first things said about me on WORA was that I was only made a staffer on a game because I was TSing another staffer. Is that the kind of bullshit accusation that used to be thrown around in order to slut-shame people? Yup. Was I TSing that player's character? Yup. Was that why I got the position? Nope. Folks could speak up and describe what I was doing as a staffer, and people could see that even if it was why I got the position, I was being active and good for the game. Done. Was it annoying to deal with? Yup. Do I still remember it a decade later? Yup.

Funny story: when I received an IC position on Liberation, I was immediately accused of using my position here to sway Sunshine, a person who was lambasted here frequently and heavily. I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at how ludicrous the accusation was.

Anyhow, to your point, I concur that the way you remove a cancer from the community is to exclude them from every point of entry, and I hope that the two boards will cooperate to do this going forward.

@Lain said in Eliminating social stats:

I think the players who bitch about muh agency would have such a high time preference that they'd pass on the Beats just to pout about how their character would totally respond to successful intimidation with violence instead of just putting their head down. They think about nothing but right now.

Sure. And that's fine. Let them bitch all the way. Meanwhile, they'll see me rollin' while they hatin', an' I'll be having my beats and ridin' dirty.

@Auspice

My short review of Insidious:

The first half of the movie is what you come for. The script is solid, the performances good, and the material interesting. Watching a family struggle with the haunting of a child is harrowing, and Byrne and Wilson play fine in the roles of the concerned, scared parents.

But, as usual, Hollywood tries to tie up what never needs to be tied. Dread is a funny feeling, one that Hollywood seems doomed to never understand. Effective horror movies make you wonder; they don't come to a conclusion. And that's why the second half fails utterly.

About the only frightening thing in the second half is realizing that the villain is really Darth Maul with goat legs, which reminds you have how terrifying Star Wars: The Phantom Menace was. It's like remembering how badly your childhood memories were hobbled and raped by Lucas' horrid inability to create dialogue, names, dialects, and interesting situations. And then, like in this movie, you wake up, shivering, wondering what the fuck happened and why you're missing enough money to get you a passable meal at the local Texas Roadhouse.

I can write these all night.

@deadculture said in Arx- Gareth:

While the OOC parts of the charges levied on the man seem reasonable (like speaking with others about the support system, throwing a fit about another character's stats, complaining about code changes) how is being competitive as a player bad?

It's not bad to be competitive as a player. I'm a very competitive player.

But I don't take it OOC, or try to get people to break rules, or try to coerce people into playing what's needed for my faction (rather than what they want to play), or try to get an advantage during the Alpha-development stage of a game.

Staff always has the discretion to determine who they want on their game and when, so I can't fault them for making the call here.