While I concur that people often feel wanted due to their own actions or those of other people, it is under-whelmingly simplistic to not include cultural or societal expectations into an evaluation of fixing what might be a problem.
If you're going to run a Vampire: the Requiem game, for instance, paranoia and power-mongering are essential to the theme and setting, and, very often, players have to bend over backwards to find a reason to be inclusive.