Posts made by Ganymede

@macha said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

Sadly, they're smart enough to avoid putting bullshit in writing.

This isn't about them putting it into writing; it's about you putting it into writing. What you put down? Is evidence for an attorney to use. Because people who are looking to commit fraud don't usually create a mountain of their own evidence to use. That sounds like a person who is tired of taking shit.

I didn't get my promotion I should have this summer because of my 'talking to' In January - which was about my ADHD.

Under the McDonnell-Douglas test, you bear the burden of showing that you suffered an adverse employment action connected to your disability (pardon the word, it's just what lawyers call it). The burden of proof then shifts to the burden to demonstrate a non-discriminatory reason for not giving you the promotion. Chances are, they did not document the reasons for which you did not get the promotion. So you have the advantage if you put into writing what happened, and later testify to the same.

@macha said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

Is there someone I could appeal to, on that? I know you're not an expert (Unless you are, no offense meant) But I'm not sure who I would talk to about being reimbursed for shit. I'm so over all this BS.

I'm definitely not an expert on what your company does, but here's what I would do.

1. Start documenting everything on your own by beginning a diary in which you write down every dickish, passive-aggressive, micro-aggressive thing the people around you do.

2. Make an appointment to speak with someone in HR in confidence. At the appointment, let them know what you would like and why in person and then reduce that request to writing. Make sure your HR person gets the written request.

3. Keep poking HR for what you want and why you need it on the regular. Make a 14-day task in Outlook for it.

4. If no action is taken on your request for reimbursement or accommodations within three months, send what you have to the next person above your boss.

This sounds like escalation and it is. It is a steady, formulaic campaign of what I call "personal advocacy." If at any point you get a pointed response or suffer an adverse employment action -- get turned down for a raise; get turned down for a promotion; get denied personal leave; etc. -- that's when you send what you have to an attorney.

That attorney will have a field day.

@macha said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

Had to replace the laptop, upgrade the internet so roommate and I could both WFH.

Sounds like a company expense and a reasonable accommodation.

Had to change up my cellphone plan, because former roommates were 'worried' I'd use all the data ( I make calls, nothing else for work, but.. whatever).

Sounds like a company expense and a reasonable accommodation.

They sent me a cheap ass headset that's less comfortable than the 10 buck bluetooth one I bought from five below.

Sounds like a company expense and a reasonable accommodation.

I mean, your HR and accountants understand that all of these expenses could have been covered with the PPP money and expensed out? If not, you should tell them to go talk to actual tax professionals. Paying business expenses and writing them off minimizes taxes and will probably raise your productivity as your employees work comfortably at home. It's not like you asked for a company car which is also a business expense.

I'm sorry you work with stupid people.

@wizz said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

I have always been extremely empathetic whenever he gets hurt and have never tried to tell him it's not ok just to be upset or cry or anything like that when he's in pain, and I am as attentive as he lets me be when something happens (usually he wants space immediately after he gets hurt), but the screaming is so over the top.

Obviously, I am not the most empathetic person in the world, but I have told my kids, one of whom is neuroatypical, that it is okay to be upset and cry, but that the best thing to do is to try not to make a scene about it. When they do, I hit the casually-downplay button. But if they shrug it off, I hit the reward-heavily button. This has helped prepare my daughter for shots, which she hates.

I don't know you or your kid, but maybe you could flip the script that way. Let him scream and cry it out at a distance, but reward toughing it out. I know how awful that sounds but my kids' speech pathologists say that this is an okay way to re-program my kids' brains.

@ominous said in Autism and The MU* Community:

Are you hiring? I ask for a friend. Maybe a few dozen friends.

Honestly, I wish I had the capacity. My firm's office is quite literally full.

@macha

So, it is WFH and they don’t want to pay for a comfortable headset?

This is JFC stupid.

@macha said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

I logged in, and they're denying my Medical Accommodation request, despite the letter saying I should be allowed to wear a gaming headset as it is what is comfortable for me, from my PCP. Why? because she didn't specifically mention the fibromyalgia, because they already KNOW I HAVE IT from medical accommodation letters I gave my supervisor back when I first started working there.

Frankly, the only reason I don't wear a gaming headset at work is because I'm too cheap to get one.

What, do they want you to use a specific kind of headset for some reason? I don't get it. Let people use whatever the fuck gear they want.

@il-volpe

Here’s the flip side.

As a boss, I like to know more about the people I work with. I want to know if someone wants to start a family because my firm tries to cater to that. I want to know if someone wants or needs accommodations because I want to put that into our budget. These things are important to know and plan for financially.

But I can’t ask.

The paranoia built into the law was created by people too afraid to reveal their own prejudices.

@silverfox

Fuuuuuuck.

@silverfox

Like, fuck you and all that cuteness, I am jelly.

@il-volpe

You’re right. The advice is very sound.

I don’t like it. I would rather we live in a different day and age. But fucking with a person’s living is akin to killing them.

But you’re right. An employer should not ask. If they ask, they are asking for trouble.

@il-volpe said in Autism and The MU* Community:

It's illegal to deny people housing for being LGBTQ in my state, but when my landlady figured it out she just started accusing me of doing weird shit, and there wasn't anything I could prove besides 'this happened after she learned...'.

In Ohio, you can take your complaint to the Ohio Civil Rights Commission or your local fair housing society. You don't have to wait until an eviction until you bring up this shit.

If you have similar outlets, I'd suggest contacting them once your landlord accuses you of weird shit. Because win-or-lose, if a landlord attempts to file an eviction action after it smells retaliatory.

And frankly, it's stupid. I had a landlord client complain to be me about the lesbians in one of his units. The dialogue went something like this:

Landlord: I have nothing against them, but I just don't want to lease to them.
Me: Is it against your religion?
Landlord: Yes! Yes, it is.
Me: Okay. Are they ever late?
Landlord: With their rent? No.
Me: Do they make a disturbance?
Landlord: No, they usually mind their own.
Me: Parties? Drugs?
Landlord: None.
Me: Would you be willing to give them three months to vacate so I can put them into one of my units? Because they sound like really good tenants, not like those of this other client I had, let me tell you --

And after 5 minutes of telling that landlord about my other client's nightmare, he amazingly became more tolerant.

Anyhow, frankly, I listen to my employees. Always. If someone said "so-and-so keeps touching me and I don't like it" then So-and-So is likely looking for a new job. This is neither harsh nor heroic; this is self-preservation. I won't let my firm go down to some stupid-ass motherfucker who is too hand-sy, and if it is one of my partners I am not afraid to tell them not to fucking do that. Thank goodness I have a couple of women partners who have been in the business a while and have the reputation of not taking shit from no one.

@macha said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

It is 20% - at least. Which means it's never less than at least 5 bucks.

Same. I'm usually tipping 20-25% on DoorDash for my orders, and I order for 4. Sure, $80 is stiff for some Red Robin but when I don't want to fucking move, I pay the price for it.

@silverfox said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

Just like - wtf is wrong with everything right now.

In sports news, the Brooklyn Nets recently issued a statement regarding the un-vaccinated state of one of their star players, Kyrie Irving. The Nets have said that they will not let anyone participate in games or practices who wasn't a "full-time" participant in all activities. Mr. Irving is unvaccinated and therefore cannot play at home games in Brooklyn, meaning that he would essentially be "part-time" as a player who can only play in away games. Mr. Irving makes around $33M per year under his contract, but his employer has made it clear that he will not be with them unless he gets vaccinated.

We are at a point where a player in a team game making $33M annually won't get a fucking vaccination to play sportsball.

The absurd level of stupidity cuts through all classes. No one wants to give a shit about others. Some people will give up millions of dollars to play a sport based on shit they find on the internet.

Like any business, a good school runs on a team approach. Teachers that refuse to vaccinate are not good team players. They should be cut and the blame for that cut should be placed squarely on them.

@ominous @Derp

Those as the laws of Texas, and people in Texas are fucking crazy.

As a corporate counsel -- yes, I advise companies on HR matters -- all that matters is that unwanted touching constitutes civil battery in most jurisdictions and is almost always concerning in cases involving hostile work environments.

As a cat, though, just don't fucking touch people if they tell you not to. It's really fucking simple to me.

@il-volpe

I hear you.

And HR is wrong.

And if they don’t change, they gonna get fired when I tell a higher up.

Because good lawyers are assholes who protect their clients.

Not people.

@thhppbbbt said in Autism and The MU* Community:

It's a really, really common thing, and saying it's just assholes being assholes disappears that NT assholes who mash ND buttons often face no repercussions because the other NT folks can't figure out why ND person is being so insistent, pushy, needy, particular, etc etc etc until the end of time.

Oh sure, I understand. I don't mean to suggest that erasure does not exist; I mean to say that NT assholes should get into trouble for doing shit to NAs (I mean 'neuro-Atypical' for reference) as they should if they do the same to NTs.

@tnp said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

1 pound bag of broccoli florets is 2.09. 1 pound of chopped broccoli (basically the stalks chopped into dime sized pieces) is 1.19, so that at least is cheaper. 1 pound bag of mixed peas and carrots is also 2.09.

Chicken is 1.79 a pound. I almost never see pork any more lower than 1.99 per pound. Cheapest beef is 3.99/lb which is fortunate since I really like steak but it's the least healthy option.

Around here, you can get broccoli for $0.99 to $1.49 for a full head with stem. Chicken hasn't dropped below $1.99 per pound since the pandemic started.

All of that is weird to me because Ohio is the 3rd state in production of chicken.

@silverfox said in RL Anger:

We are losing a key person in our building because they won't take the vaccine and my district has a mandate.

If they can't because of medical reasons, I understand.

If they won't because they are selfish, I understand that too.

On a similar note, the Nets effectively just kicked Kyrie Irving off their team for the same reason.

@tnp

That ought to do it.

@il-volpe

So, the people you have worked with are assholes.

Your experience as an NA is different than an NT, but the cause is the same.

Assholes be assholes.

1. Do not touch others without their consent.
2. If an alternative is less damaging and available, use it.

Simple rules of office etiquette.