Posts made by Gingerlily

@herja said in Meshing Groups:

I think the biggest thing that helps me is to give PCs space to get to know each other. If you make every moment non-stop action, you lose a lot of opportunity to allow PCs to bond and get to know each other. So, if I am doing, say, a dungeon quest, maybe we have a brief interlude where they camp for the night. Maybe they are just walking around the forest and talking, looking along the trail for signs of their quarry. If players are given space, they will typically 'fill in the gaps' with conversation and that is step one to developing PC relationships.

I like this because in the past I've had times where I feel like I lose a sense of who my character is. (Like a fancy actor asking "What's my motivation?") because I'd be involved in plots but not really get to know many people outside of plots, and allies are great but for me if my character doesn't have friends to talk to about random whatever, I kind of lose a sense of what is making them tick.

@horrorhound said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

So, I wanted to share this, as I married someone in the neurological field and learned an immense amount of shit about myself, and ADHD. Because I had ADHD when ADHD was just some bullshit excuse for your kid not listening, or something. So no meds. Never. Not ever. Because ADHD isn't real.

Obviously it is.

Anyways, I've done really dangerous jobs, and also have been in construction for like, twelve years now. Big construction. Personal residence. I fucking love it. It all makes sense to me, and best of all: ADHD isn't a flaw, it's a merit, in construction and the very nature of the job helps curb your inattentive behaviors. Forgot what you were doing? No worries, champ. Contracts and job scopes are written down. Having a tough time? No problem: Everybody is embracing the suck and eating that same shit sandwich. Tempers flaring? Yep. They do that. Get the fuck over it and move on - what's this?! Everybody is getting over shit as fast as you?

So, apparently construction is full of peeps with ADHD, which makes sense, because we all rage against those fucking engineers.

Teaching preschool is a good one too. Special Ed preschool is even better. His IEP goal includes something about attending to instruction for stretches of 3-5 minutes at a time with fading reminders. ME TOO! I promise we will be constantly switching activities and not just for your sake, oh no!

So I was reading this article a few days ago, which I can't find again or else I'd link it here.

It was talking about a service people with ADHD can subscribe to where they are matched with a partner basically, and they use checking in before and after tasks for accountability and motivation.

So like if you and your partner decide that you both have something you want to get done that you've been putting off and you want to do it for an hour starting at 4pm, you check in beforehand and say what you are planning to achieve (your partner can even help you break down the task if it seems too big) and then they do the same, and after the hour you check back in and share what you did.

I thought it seemed like a potentially helpful tool to have. Then I thought, why pay for a service when there are a bunch of people I know who struggle with ADHD on a message board. We could buddy up with one another!

If anyone is interested in trying it out, message me!

@sunny said in How are you coping with COVID (and other 2020 fun)?:

Yes. Just like this.

COVID has given me a massive existential crisis. I'm a preschool special educator and I love my job and get a ton of life satisfaction out of doing it well, more than I think I realized until this year. When put into a situation where it is impossible to do my job well, because I cannot meaningfully teach or asses or give my students the support they need through zoom lessons, its extremely disheartening. Like spending hours in tears disheartening as I imagine what it will be like for my students to move on to kindergarten next year without having really had the early interventions it is my job to give them.

My creativity has also taken a huge hit. I am trying to get back into regular rp because it is a social activity that is done on the internet and thus seems like the ideal thing to be into at this time. But much of the time when I try to play I just end up frustrated. I can't find my characters 'voice' or easily determine what they would feel or thing about a given situation, and I feel like rp with me is boring and frustrating more than fun. Still trying to be optimistic about this and keep attempting to get back into the swing however.

Otherwise I've been reading lots of books and binging lots of Netflix.

@Herja said in Emotional bleed:

He lived. I just spent the entire date drinking cocktails on his dime and roasting him subtly until the end of the date when he got fresh and I got really unsubtle about it.

'Got Fresh'. You are Sandra Dee over here.

If you've never tried to talk a four year old into complying with your requests over zoom, you are missing out.

@L-B-Heuschkel said in MU Things I Love:

When the news come up with something like this:

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/escaped-cloned-female-mutant-crayfish-take-over-belgian-cemetery/YZDGK4GTJKKML7Y76OELOTHGPA/

And a handful of different people independently send it to me, telling me this is so much about my character, and I have make it happen.

It's happening.

I hope someone is similarly inspired by any and all articles about Florida Man because that's a character we need. And a Tiger King.

@hedgehog said in MU Things I Love:

@Gingerlily

Share your secrets with me, wise one. I've felt like a non-entity forever, now. Some of that is burnout and frustration, but I would be lying if the burnout and frustrations weren't tied into perceived reactions/non-reactions from other people. Y'know, that lovely old feedback loop.

Find people who you are comfortable admitting that you are struggling to, who might also be struggling and thus super forgiving and wanting to help. Then they will forgive you if you have to suddenly bail because you forgot how to write.

Or find brand new people. The struggle is real, lots of people share it, and I think some of them are finding each other and it's great.

When you try to get back into playing after having a really rough time of it with pandemic/2020/writers block whatever, and people who you haven't rp'd with in ages or haven't rp'd with ever at all are reaching out to YOU wanting to have scenes, and reassuring you that you are a part of the community and belong and sometimes even fun!

It's still hard to internalize with the writers block/constant low level dread thing, but it helps!

I posted something here on accident that had absolutely nothing to do with the topic which is why I deleted it!

This video is important and if you watch it to the end you will be happier inside.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PnbKL3wuH4

When you are a special education teacher because your mother was a special education teacher and your parents met at a camp in the 1970's as counselors for children with special needs, and also you have ADHD that was diagnosed in high school and a daughter who is on the spectrum.

It feels extra special on the days where my brain does not allow me to do my job, which is to help children with developmental delays do preschool and get ready for kindergarten, because my brain is too similar to their brains. "Sorry kids but I guess you know how it is?"

@Sunny said in It's where you putcher weed ...:

@Auspice

I'd probably be dead if it weren't for nurses and budtenders. Budtenders are also super helpful people.

They ARE, its so funny. They're like sommeliers, and probably honestly would have a recommendation for me if I asked "What goes with salmon" the same way they do, "I have a headache and everything is making me cranky."

@Macha said in It's where you putcher weed ...:

@Sunny I wish my doctor's would consider the mj for pain.Trying to get referred for pain management is a joke. I've got two painful autoimmunes that I'm diagnosed with, and my doctor thinks I may have a third (please gods, no), but I can't get medical MJ? I don't WANT Morphine

Uh, but I digress. Sorry

So I'm a medical pot patient too, and at least where I live your actual doctors do not do the referrals to the 'pot doctors'. This is likely because the Feds have a good deal of influence over traditional doctors, they can control who gets a DEA prescribing number, they control many of the review boards for licencing, etc.

So here you get a copy of your chart from your doctor doctor to bring along with you to the pot doctor and if you have a condition that medical use is approved for in your state, you prove it to the pot doctor with your records, get a consultation, and leave with a number for your card.

Insurance obviously covers none of this, so that's a downside.

Just as a fun aside, I do not buy at all that adderall/ritalin/etc works 'differently' on the ADD brain than on other brains. Speed is speed is speed, but that's not a bad thing. If you take a stimulant for ADD as prescribed by your doctor and the side effects don't trouble you or are manageable that isn't a way to know if you have it or not. Comprehensive testing by a neurologist, or neuropsych, or a developmental pediatrician for your kid, is how to find those answers.

@Kanye-Qwest said in A Lack of Imagination:

I also have an internal narrator, and it narrates things like I'm a character in a book, sometimes. If I'm not DOING something, my brain fills the silence and dead space with actual narration. I can also hear this narration in different voices. I was doing mantra meditation for awhile but just saying the word mentally, and the voice I was doing it in kept shifting. Jeremy Irons, Cate Blanchett, Tim Gunn...

Me too! Also if I've been reading something for a while, my internal narrator's style changes, not a voice that I hear but like writer's 'voice'. So if I am working through One Hundred Years of Solitude my inner monologue is super fancy, and that is my most recent example.

@Atomic said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

My brother broached the idea to me that I should get .. I dunno, tested? Examined? However folks put a pin in figuring out how one isn't textbook neurotypical? He thinks I'm in the AD* zone, somewhere. A lot of reading later I'm inclined to take his advice. I guess the question is, outside of the possibility of a diagnosis, does it actually help getting it identified?

100% yes, at least if it is impacting your daily life in negative ways. Lots of adults who make it to adulthood without diagnosis have already developed effective strategies for mitigating the impact of ADD in order to get there. But if you feel like it does have a negative impact on life, whether its work or with interpersonal stuff or whatever else, its definitely worth getting the diagnosis. There are lots of new medications, they no longer just toss ritalin at the problem and hope it works, and there are also strategies and skills to learn whether you want to go the meds route or not. I'd go to a neurologist for testing rather than a GP if you have the option.

@Auspice

I also remember that one number someone said to me aloud in person, one someone said on the phone, and another one I copied from somewhere else. It's like I'm the star of my own mystery!