Best posts made by GreenFlashlight

@juniper said in Decriminalise Pretty:

I think it's time to recognise that playing Igorette the hunchback doesn't make you automatically more serious and intelligent than playing Isabella the princess.

Isabella, your boyfriend's here!
Time for dinner!

My current musical obsessions aside, though, may I ask for clarification on the kind of pretty we're talking about? Because not to get all gay about it, but there's pretty that's meant to impress straight men, and there's pretty that's meant to impress gay women, and a whole wide spectrum between; and I don't think it's necessarily unfair for someone outside the target demographic to get the sense the character isn't meant for them, you know?

@Groth said in Critters!:

Sounds like you need less tasty socks and cables!

Right? It's basically nyctophiliac's fault.

@il-volpe Actually, the more I think about it, the more I wish I hadn't posted that. As much as I hear and share your anger at some of the philosophies presented in this thread and the implications they have for both survivors of harassment and the enabling of harassers, lashing out like I did wasn't helpful to the overall argument I wanted to make; didn't (and couldn't) make anyone stop and think about how it feels to have their arguments taken to the dumbest possible conclusion; and on a personal level was just kind of beneath me.

Well, done's done, and I can't take it back. But I am sorry for that bitter, deeply unhelpful post.

@Kestrel said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

And him fucking with Job, and killing all the Egyptian kids to prove a point.

"God doesn't want you to bad things but he won't stop you from doing bad things because then he wouldn't get to punish you for doing bad things."

Y'all are wrong in the head. How can you find something lewd in culture that emphasizes master-subordinate relationships in order to teach them to trust in a power that surrounds, binds, and penetrates us all?

@Macha said in Ridiculous Embarrassing Moments:

I have lain awake many a night, reliving my worst hits, again and again.

Then someone asked me to remember something humiliating someone else did. And I couldn't, at least not in any sort of quick fashion.

So I am trying to stop agonizing.

My sister and I had nearly this exact conversation this morning when I told her this story. You're not alone.

@lotherio Sure. And this isn't a criticism or an attempt to get you to change your mind; I'm just laying stuff out in the hopes that being open and direct will serve as some kind of example for people because apparently I think I'm the one who can save this community Jesus Christ what a petty thing for me to grow a messiah complex about--

Okay, I'm just gonna pretend that rant didn't happen and sit on it until I have time to really sit with that feeling. Let's move on, shall we? We'll pick it up at "open and direct."

I think a lot of people in the community still feel very hurt by the events of the last weeks, and one of the effects of pain is to draw our attention inward. Those of us who have been hurt fixate on what was done to us, reliving it in our minds, keeping it fresh, not forgetting it. So when you come along and start talking like we don't have legitimate pain to deal with, it doesn't occur to us that maybe you didn't see all the causes for grievance or maybe you did but forgot them or whatever. It's a touch on an open wound, and I'm guessing us yelling at you feels pretty much the same to you, right?

And of course the whole situation is made worse by it being illegal to talk about it in anything but the most non-specific terms I can conjure, so I can't try to build a bridge by saying, "Hey, I know you don't see it this way, but User X did Shitty Thing Y that really hurt me because Feelings And Context Z, so it stings when you minimize that even unintentionally." I CAN say I'm sorry about dogpiling you, and that I thought your apology was pretty graceful of you; and I do say those things, for the record, even though it kind of makes my teeth grind that under current legislation the deliberate erasure of context makes me feel like I'm participating in a propaganda campaign to make sure the argument seems as one-sided as possible. But you didn't erase anything, so it's not fair hold you accountable for any of that. You deserve an apology.

Sooooo...yeah, I think I've run out of things I am allowed to say. I really do hope this post was helpful in rebuilding trust, or at least explaining why in the current climate I can't reach out and show as much vulnerability as I otherwise would.

My feelings on Hawk are complex. I think he's a great character with a well-done arc, and I understand and believe what he's going through, but I also have no sympathy for him because he knows he's terrible and he actively chooses to continue being terrible every day.

@mietze From the outside, with nothing but my own inferences and projection to go from about all the stuff happening behind the curtain, I don't see a way I can blame you for anything going on. Maybe I'm biased because you've only ever been kind and supportive to me, but I like to think that even if you hadn't been, I still wouldn't be able to blame you for putting real life ahead of internet drama.

I one thousand percent WILL blame you if you don't post cat pics regularly, though. My goodwill covers a lot, but that sin is unforgivable.

Look, do you know why the evening charge nurse told you to ask me about the patients over here when she handed the unit off to you? Because I know them and you don't. If you don't want to take my advice, then don't take it, but don't get snippy with me when it goes badly for you.

@lotherio I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I think my theories on how to moderate would be extremely at odds with the rest of the team.

@il-volpe said in Dead Celebrities 2020:

@mietze Same. My uncle, the one who was 'Dr. Earnhardt' in Far Cry 3 some years ago, and an aunt last fucking week.

For a moment I thought Ruth Bader Ginsberg's death wouldn't be too much of a disaster, because Trump will no doubt attempt to a install beauty pageant judge and it will no doubt take him four months to understand the difference between judges of law and judges of chili cook-offs.

But then I checked, and the constitution does not name any required qualifications for supreme court judges.

Please note the damage does not need to wait for the new Justice's appointment to begin. Let's say Trump decides to empower every far right militia to enforce the law, and to declare leftism a terrorist ideology. How would anyone check his power? What are you going to do, take him to the Supreme Court?

@derp said in Something Completely Different:

The reason for the change wasn't that people were too mean. The reason for the change was that it usually devolved into just browbeating and name calling and shouting people down via sheer pressure of numbers.

I don't know if my standards are just way too lax compared to yours or what, but I genuinely can't recall an instance of this happening, let alone usually happening. Can you please provide an example?

@BetterNow I had no idea she was that old. She wore her age well. All the best to her loved ones in this grim time.

@devrex said in Something Completely Different:

And then the dogpile begins. And folks seem to reckon that if they just say real real loudly that someone is (Fill In The Blank) and That is What They Are...and What They Are is something that it is socially acceptable to punch awhile...misogynist...rape apologist...pick your name (as I point out that name calling is still name calling is still name calling) well then heck, we can just say anything we want about that person now, right?

If I understand you correctly, you are asking for empathy; for people to understand that their opponent has an identity outside of whatever flanderized sin they are accused of. My post will proceed from that assumption. If I'm wrong, you can save yourself some time by skipping this reply and correcting me about your actual point here.

I agree that empathy is a good thing. I hope I've been demonstrating the last couple of days that I'm a proponent of it and would like to see more of it around here. I think that everyone on either side of a monitor is a real person with real feelings that deserve to be treated with kindness, no matter how antisocial their behaviors are. Even if someone is hurt by another's behavior, it is useful to remember that the hurter is more than just a hurter.

But that goes both ways. Just as whichever person we're vaguely gesturing in the direction of is hurt by me calling them a misogynist, I too am hurt by the misogyny they displayed that led me to call them that name. It is a mistake to think that I called them that name because I wanted to inspire a mob to do internet violence to them; I called them that because just as the misogynist deserves kindness, so too do I, and I want them to understand that their stated opinions do harm to me and people like me.*

And so does everyone else who feels either directly or collaterally harmed by the opinions expressed, whether because they're part of the group targeted or because seeing someone else get targeted inspires a sympathetic outrage.

So if we agree that it is good to listen when someone says they are being harmed by another person's internet behavior, I hope we can agree that principle goes both ways. Our hypothetical misogynist does not get to demand that I stop, self-reflect, and alter my speech to better suit their feelings without agreeing to abide by the same restrictions. If he won't do that, then I hope I will have the strength of character to cling to my principles of kindness, but he has no room to complain if my anger causes me to slip and hold myself to the same lower standard he grants himself.

*Never mind that I don't think I've ever called anyone a misogynist. We'll assume that I did for the premise of this discussion.

@AeriaNyx I am so sorry. Thank you for making the kindest choice for your baby even when it hurts.

@Arkandel said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

Fellow four-eyed nerds who also wear facemasks!

Do your glasses fog up when you breathe?

Wearing my glasses over my mask is the best solution I've found. This has its own problems. Disposables have that metal nose piece that makes them hard to fit under my glasses' nose piece, and cloth masks that don't have them sometimes ride up until they bump against my lower eyelids, but I've just made peace that this is my life now. I figure if that's the biggest annoyance I have to deal with in a day, I'm probably coming out ahead in life.

I almost want to get COVID again just so I can get another three-month pardon on having those hateful fucks jam any more pipe cleaners into the speech center of my brain.

It's getting so bad that I'm not just worried about caregivers, I'm worried about the people who operate the hotline for caregivers who are in crisis.

Bitch, how are you gonna sleep through your shift, then get mad at me because I did all your work? "Why didn't you wake me up" my ass. If I have to wake you up, then I have to accept responsibility for your work getting done, and if I have to accept responsibility for your work getting done, then I accept full responsibility for your work getting done!