Posts made by hedgehog

@Derp

Here. Have a photo from last year's Dracula's Ball performance in Philadelphia, where I was suddenly both video tech and official band photographer (in spite of being expressly not a photographer):

@Auspice

I just had a friend of 27 years block me on Facebook, so I had to find out that his husband finally died after a long bout with kidney failure and a short bout with aggressive lymphoma (courtesy of the immunosuppressant drugs he had to take so that his body wouldn't reject the kidney said friend donated to him) by going to fan pages for his band.

Now, I've been quietly frustrated with this friend for a while now, as it seemed like I always had to be the one to initiate conversation, or that I was only considered a 'dear friend' when I was throwing money at them (everything from setting up fundraisers to traveling internationally to be there for benefit gigs and such). He would post things on Facebook railing against the Danish medical system and government, accusing them of ageism and homophobia and malpractice, then beg people for more money whilst posting exploitative misery porn photos of his sick husband in hospital. It did not sit well with me.

I would try to have gentle conversations with him about different steps he could take in regards to his husband's care, and was always met with resistance and complaints. It baffled me that he didn't take advantage of any home caretaker services, given that I'd seen other Danish friends obtain the same services with no issues, courtesy of their national health program. From my perspective, the eldercare alone should have been a no-brainer, and taken advantage of, so that he wasn't stuck being sole caretaker. Of course, you need to actually pay your taxes to be able to take advantage of these things, and that was evidently something that he hadn't been doing.

I probably should have realized that I didn't matter much anymore, in comparison to the thousand opportunistic fans willing to make sympathetic noises and unquestioningly support him (at least on Facebook; when it came to actually purchasing his music it was a bit of a different story) when my family made plans to go and visit him and some of my other Danish friends a couple of years ago. After we'd settled on dates and airfares were bought, he went and booked a gig in Calgary during the time I was going to be there. I asked if his husband (who was barred from traveling outside the EU at this point for health reasons) would be interested in our traveling from Zealand up to Jutland to take him out for lunch or something so that he could see my son, at least, and got turned down. My other Danish friends (who are also part of what remains of his social circle) were pretty gobsmacked by this.

Now, while this is all hurtful, I do also understand that the man has been suffering and grieving for the past ten years, or so, the state of his husband's health. He's also been struggling with major depressive disorder for ages (same as I have). I fully get the way depression eats away at friendships, and that decisions made in the throes of it are rarely good ones, but this is the same man who would refer to me as his 'soulmate' and extol my ability to make people feel safe and comfortable (his words, not mine) and thank me on releases (shit, my son is even on one of his songs doing spoken word)...and now I can't even express my condolences because he will never see them.

Up until last Thursday he was still reacting to FB memory posts of cute/weird shit my son was doing, and then nothing. My depression makes me wonder if it was some kind of fucked-up, passive-aggressive friendship test and I failed living up to whatever expectations he had of me (and never disclosed). I had stopped pro-forma reacting to posts of his a while back because they gave me so much fremdscham (vicarious embarrassment) due to being a steady stream of begging for money and complaining about Danish healthcare, and had deliberately distanced myself because I couldn't handle all the half-truths I was getting and rumor-mongering going on. I had to distance myself, or I would have been spending all my energy and time trying to solve his problems for him, because that's how I tend to operate.

It just sucks that he would rather have a thousand strangers blowing smoke up his ass and coddling him rather than keep actual friends who call him out on his fuckery like real friends should.

An amuse bouche for the new Conjure One, Front Line Assembly, and possibly even Noise Unit currently in production:

https://rhysfulber.bandcamp.com/

https://rhysfulber.bandcamp.com/track/charleroi

Borrowing elements from Warehouse 13 wouldn't be amiss. It would also pair nicely with seasons 1-3 of Fringe, and inject a bit of levity into something that could become extremely oppressive rather quickly if people take it far too seriously.

@L-B-Heuschkel

When I went through the same thing, what ultimately gave me the strength to go no contact with my birth mother and most of the assholes from that side of the divorce was when my psychiatrist 'gave me permission' to go on ahead and do it.

It wasn't so much that he permitted me, but that he asked 'what do you owe these people who have given you nothing but pain?' But having the exterior affirmation/confirmation that those people were actually assholes, and my pain was legitimate was empowering.

I give you permission to cut that cruel asshole out of your life. Ignore those interior voices that insist that you owe them anything. My son will never know his maternal grandmother, but that is entirely her own fault, and my stepmother is the best grandmother a kid could hope for, and I consider her my mother at this point.

It's still hard sometimes, and those echoe-y guilty feelings pop up every once in a while, but I am a much mentally healthy a person for having done it, even if I am on a bit of a downturn at the moment.

@Misadventure

The real kicker is that none of my supposed local friends also on that page never bothered to reach out. Oh, wait, one did, three hours after the fact, and after she'd screamed at me on the original post, in order to say that she thought that my apology was sincere, and that she was deeply hurt by the post.

This woman is the epitome of self-inserter, and only private messages you so that she can have something to screen-shot and pass around. When I asked why it took her three hours to bother checking in with me, she turned the whole thing around and made it about her personal, white ally hurt that she felt by my...post about freeing the slaves.

I got accused of being the worst racist in all of Evanston, IL because I tried to share a Zinn Foundation post to our school district's FB page, and didn't realize that sharing from the app means that it doesn't copy over the text of the original post, and only shared my snarky commentary and a badly-centered image of a newspaper from 1834.

All I wanted to do was show how even the UK, arguably one of the top three cruelest colonial powers in history still managed to abolish slavery a full thirty-one years before the United States managed to.

Nothing like a steady stream of woke white women flooding your inbox with demands for apologies and 'reflecting upon and fixing the pain (I) caused' and failing to accept that it was a technical error and I had no idea that the text for the post hadn't even transferred over when I did it.

And, yes, I apologized and owned the fact that my snark was egregious and gave them the hairshirt-and-flagellation they demanded...then left the group. And every other local civic group. And the one I was in trying to help promote a less Eurocentric history being taught in the schools. Because it was clear that these women never really respected any of the anti-racist and pro-equity posts I'd been making for the past six years given the way they turned on me on a fucking dime like that. Especially since nobody bothered to ask me if it was a fluke, save for a group moderator. Of course, all the admins and moderators of that page are such because I hand-selected them to ensure that minority voices were being centered and heard, as they were often the ones being shut out of conversations, historically, there, by the old guard of the group.

I get it, though...it makes them all look that much better, and their purely performative anti-racism that much more attention-worthy and shiny. But it still hurt like fuck to experience all this vitriol due to a goddamn technicality. On the upside, my pain and tears led to homemade pie and weed candy to self-medicate the hurt a bit.

Oh...and when the moderator who checked in on me reposted the text of the article in question, all these hypocritical cows loved it.

https://www.facebook.com/ZinnEducationProject/posts/10157705003614677?

@Cupcake

Given the content of the books, I'm curious as to what sort of homophobia. If anything, she seems to be the sort of woman who is actually turned on by homoeroticism (and has basically said as much in 'Line of Beauty'). I am legitimately confused as to how people would find 'Masque of the Red Death' homophobic, too. Yes, gays die in it, but...it's Poe?

Her very Boomer attitude re: sexual harassment in the industry is very reminiscent of Chrissy Hynde's recent statements. And Lucia's from KMFDM. At least Chrissy and Wendy have the Boomer excuse, there. Having said that, I can't seem to find more online than what's been cataloged in this blogpost from six years ago:

https://anduinel.wordpress.com/tag/wendy-pini/

The allegations about Richard are bothersome, too, in that there's a dearth of info out there. I am seeing Julius Schwartz mentioned, though, as someone who has allegedly assaulted Colleen Doran, though, when she was at DC.

I am not arguing that they can't be problematic; I am more annoyed that I can't find more to delve into to either corroborate or refute things.

@Cupcake

I didn't realize that there were any allegations floating around about them.

@SinCerely

Well, everything but Final Quest is online, for free. There's also a new series in-progress about Skywise; three issues have been released so far, with the fourth supposedly shipping in October (it was supposed to come out earlier but pandemic).

@Thenomain was pretty involved with TwoMoons MUSH, IIRC. I think I tried playing a Sunfolk parfumier, but didn't last very long. I didn't know anyone else, and getting into actual RP seemed difficult, so it was pretty lonely and I lost interest (probably didn't help that my RL at the time also involved my being fairly isolated and alone most of the time, so it just exacerbated things).

I take it the place was actually pretty fun, if you were able to get involved?

When someone starts shit-talking you on channel, and you aren't there to either refute them or clear up any misconceptions, and other people step in and defend you. Especially when that defense comes from people you would never have thought had a positive impression of you.

Gabi Delgado: DAF.

http://www.brooklynvegan.com/d-a-f-s-gabriel-gabi-delgado-lopez-rip/

Bill Rieflin: Blackouts, Ministry, REM, King Crimson, a shitload of others.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=3388835257799147&set=a.584632631552771&type=3

https://www.nme.com/blogs/andy-gill-obituary-1956-2020-gang-of-four-2604037

'There certainly are. Great musicians encapsulate their age; the very best echo endlessly onwards, and Andy Gill, who died today (February 1) aged 64, has been reverberating along the baseline of alternative culture for 40 years. R.E.M., Tom Morello, St Vincent, Carrie Brownstein and James Murphy are just some of the acts and musicians who have acknowledged their debt to Gang Of Four’s spare grooves and Gill’s cranky, cut-throat style – attacking his instrument with an unhinged precision.

Flea cited the band as a key influence on early Red Hot Chili Peppers (Gill produced their debut album), Kurt Cobain claimed that Nirvana started off as “a Gang of Four and Scratch Acid ripoff” and Gill’s music was as pivotal on the early ‘00s funk-punk revival as Wire’s was to formative Britpop, both in America (The Rapture, LCD Soundsystem, Radio 4, We Are Scientists) and at home (Bloc Party, Franz Ferdinand, The Futureheads, whom Gill also produced).'

Andy Gill, guitarist, Gang of Four.

Maybe not as well-known as bassist David Allen, but vastly important to music anyway.

'What We All Want' - Gang of Four

Biggest WTF moment in a retail establishment was hearing this song playing in a Red Robin Express.

@eye8urcake

Well, KMFDM worked with the jackass, too. Collaborated in 2017. The only act on that bill that is above reproach, as far as that is concerned, is Front Line Assembly. I just wish they'd make a statement.

@Kestrel

My friends who are involved with the opening band aren't exactly rich at this point, but otherwise? Nah, I feel zero remorse about not wanting to support Ministry, especially since Chris Connelly has even distanced himself and decided not to perform on the tour.

That said, I have no idea if anyone has gotten advances from the booking agency handling the tour, or if they're going to get cashed out at the end of it while surviving on per diems. I only bought tickets myself because my friend in the opening band has a goldfish-like memory (I know that that's a fallacy, but it's a handy analogy) and I am not banking on getting a laminate. Also, it's always been my MO to get tickets for gigs rather than rely on list, because so many of these shows don't operate on guarantees and rely on sales and take at the door.

I am super proud of Chris for bowing out. Especially as he has a tweenaged daughter of his own.

Clearly a great many people are better at separating art and artist than I am, given the fact that venues for the upcoming Front Line Assembly/KMFDM/Ministry tour keep selling out in spite of the fact that this dropped yesterday:

https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/rock/8548353/ministry-guitarist-sin-quirin-accused-underage-sexual-relationships

Given the depth of research and lack of mention of the tour, it's pretty clear that this article's been in the pipeline for a while. Meanwhile, I am having a bit of a crisis of conscience, even though I grabbed tickets to support the opener and neither of the other bands. Ministry has yet to publish any sort of comment that isn't through the lawyer that they share with the accused party.

Even Lords of Acid have fired the dude. If you're too gross for Praga Khan? You're pretty fucking gross.

Tangentially, I will always respect those artists who are willing to stand up and critique their peers, especially when they do it directly to their faces, a la Jairus Khan at Kinetik 5.0:

Ad.Ver.Sary - We Demand Better

Absolutely NSFW.

New players who are not only happy to have help learning the ropes, but are also kind and generous roleplayers enthusiastic about what the game/sphere is all about. Helps make up for all the people who just 'peer' passive-aggressively on channels and make no real effort to reach out.

Fresh blood and perspectives help me get out of my burnout and remind me of why the splat is supposed to be fun.

@hedgehog

Rose McDowall - Cut With the Cake Knife

Psychedelic Furs/Brecht/Weill - Mack the Knife