Posts made by Kestrel

Andi on our morning walk today; she's now exactly 9 months old.

We met a father with 3 young daughters, all of whom looked to be under the age of 10. The youngest was at first terrified and hid behind her dad going, 'omg it's a wolf!' But I reassured her that Andi's a good girl and then a few minutes later they were bounding down the street asking for permission to pet her. Andi loves the attention, the kids loved getting to pet a dog, the dad loved seeing it, everyone came out a winner. The girl who was at first scared ended up being her biggest fan to the point where it was hard to eventually move along.

She honestly makes me feel great not just for the immediate interpersonal benefits of unconditional love, but because whenever I take her out I feel like I'm accompanied by this beacon of sunlight who spreads joy everywhere she goes, putting smiles on people's faces and brightening people's day. A teenage girl once stopped me to say, 'Can I pet your dog? Please I've had a really shitty day.' Just ... this dog is such a source of goodness. I love her so much. A perfect being.

@cobalt Honestly, although they are less instagram friendly, pictures of my dog halfway through her pocket interspace dimension of some of my favourite.

A while ago @Arkandel made a thread over here about Online Friends.

That discourse aside, I'm curious if people within the MU* community have noticed patterns where the people they enjoy socialising with IRL are concerned.

For my part, I generally choose not to associate with people who undervalue fiction. It's not really a conscious choice to discriminate, I just think everyone has personal verbal cues they hear that clue them into the fact someone's going to bore them, and mine is 'I don't like fiction.'

Everyone I've ever dated IRL has identified as a writer in some way, be it a paid/professional/published one, an aspiring one working away on their novel or someone studying for a writing degree. I connect better with people who engage with storytelling concepts even just on a day-to-day level of quipping about someone's tragic backstory or calling someone a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. I have more fun watching movies with people who'll dissect the themes and structure with me after.

So basically, how much evidence is there of your hobby in how you connect with the real world?

Everyone here's misspelling "Fellowship".

Arguably I think the closest example the saga has to a "Chosen One" is Strider/Aragorn, who even gets the girl after transforming from unassuming Ranger to King of all Mankind.

But what makes LotR special is that it doesn't really have one saviour/chosen-type character; it has an ensemble cast and no character within it is really capable for independently leading the charge on every front, of solo clearing every obstacle, of beating up every bad guy in every scenario alone. Frodo's pretty useless as a character and every training montage he endures only further weakens his resolve, his bravery, his moral virtue and his physical condition to the point where he ultimately fails his final test of making a heroic sacrifice, instead choosing the temptation of power. While we understand this isn't really his fault and that he held out better than most would, I would still argue this is in direct contradiction to the standard protagonist/chosen arc. Yet true, he alone had the ability to bear the ring for so long, whereas even someone like Aragorn (especially someone like Aragorn) could not. The thing is, everyone in that Fellowship has something they alone can do, and many things they simply cannot do.

This kind of narrative is by and large sorely lacking in Western culture IMO — it represents a kind of communal heroism rather than that of a lone individual. It celebrates diversity, perhaps not in the modern sense of identity, but of skill and thought. That many people together, albeit each with their many flaws, can accomplish a task no one could accomplish alone, even when their involvement isn't immediately obvious. (Aragorn & Co. serve to distract Sauron in order to give Frodo, Sam and Gollum a better chance to get the ring to Mount Doom. The quest's glory isn't theirs directly, but they're nonetheless integral to its success behind the scenes.)

I'm not religious by any stretch, but imagine Tolkien's Catholic faith had a lot to do with this, as did his lower class upbringing and wartime experiences.

@too-old-for-this said in Good TV:

look at the top grossing franchises for the last 40-50 years.
Star Wars
Matrix
Harry Potter
Twilight
Lord of the Rings
Hunger Games
Transformers
Top grossing movie of all time Avatar.
These are movies that were successful NOT because of the main characters, but because of the cast around them.

Excuse you.

One of these things is not like the others.

Don't come for Frodo like that.

@too-old-for-this

This post made me appreciate how quotable Buffy the Vampire Slayer is. (The title character specifically.)

I will be shopping for "stylish yet affordable boots" 'til my dying day.

I haven't played the video games, but I can imagine they probably work for the same reason the show works. You have a Gary-Stu protagonist who, aside from delivering on male fantasy aspects (strong, muscly, doesn't afraid, all women melt for him) has no real personality or motivations aside from sitting on the fence a lot. He travels from place to place killing monsters, which allows for a flexible narrative introducing all kinds of funner characters and scenarios along the way. I don't think he's interesting and I don't think he's meant to be. The pilot snagged me precisely because it presented a compelling choice through his neutrality without needing to alienate anyone who would feel strongly about either possibility.

It's worth pointing out that the author was a businessman, economist and salesman before he started writing, and that he's stated his books were written with "what sells" in mind.

For me, the most interesting character on the show was Yennefer, so I downloaded The Last Wish and skipped straight to that particular chapter. All I can say is I'm (selfishly) glad the show had a female writing team, and I can understand why so many male reviewers of the show complained that it had been ruined by SJWs and feminist propaganda. I definitely think it's catering to a different, maybe broader audience, or I probably wouldn't have found it as accessible.

It's not terrible, but I looked at a list of Goodreads' top 25 books published this year, many of which are fantasy novels, and realised there's enough choice out there if I need to venture beyond my current reading list. Or MU*s if I want some more targeted textual titillation.

I finally got around to watching the Witcher series on Netflix, which I rather enjoyed.

Then I downloaded an ebook (for free) so that I could get a better idea of whether it'd be worth splurging on a boxed set of the entire saga.

Free advice: don't read the books. Anyone who plays MU*s has access to this kind of cliche-riddled fantasy erotica on a regular basis already, and, IMO, at a much higher calibre. Don't sully the show's magic with lines about Geralt's piercing gaze and thirsty Yennefer's oohing lips.

Those of you with your old lads — I getcha. Mine’s under a year still and even now I can’t help but have occasional pangs about the fact that one day she won’t be there. I had one of those even the day I got her. I was thinking about it just today (before clicking this thread) after she did something especially cute for my benefit and was a generally thoughtful friendo.

I think once you’ve lost one, you never forget that feeling and you’re always going to be bracing for the next. But on some level I feel this has to make it somewhat easier to be mentally prepared, because the first is always the hardest.

I consider these days that a healthy relationship with death is one where we fully accept that it’s a part of life. I take a lot more photos and videos because of it, and spend more time just soaking in and appreciating her silly (even sometimes annoying) youth. ‘Cause I look at her and the older dogs and know she’ll eventually grow out of some flustering habits as she settles down and matures, but that I might eventually miss her overexcitability then.

Anyway, that was a lot of words and I realise no one cares about those, so here’s a few photos of the main event being a total goof at various stages of her as yet very early life:

Second dog in the third picture is actually totally unrelated to her AFAIK and is an entirely different breed, both me and the other dog’s human were just amazed how similar they look.

@greenflashlight said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

@kestrel I have no personal experience with it, but someone I know is on medication, and without getting specific, he once said that he only needs to miss a day's dose to notice big changes that negatively impact his life.

I'm currently on medication and the difference of being on/off it is night & day. However I'm still in the "trial" phase so I wasn't prescribed enough to take it daily and even have that last a month. Delays in booking a second appointment and getting the prescription renewed have also given me ample leave to really appreciate that.

So, I've been rationing it for days when I think I'll need it most, i.e. when I have important obligations, expect to be around other people or know that I'll have a good stretch of time to get certain things done. A day I want to spend deep-cleaning the house or sending off a bunch of emails, etc.

I still feel like therapy might also help? Because basically I've structured my whole life up until this point around the expectation that there are certain things I just can't do and therefore shouldn't try to. And now I feel like, actually, with medication, maybe I can. I just need a push to adjust that mindset or relearn basic life skills I've previously adjusted to making do without.

@wretched said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

My Previous doc wanted me to do an 8 week CBT course, but it was only available wednesday evenings and there were hurdles about time and the like that meant i couldn't do it. But Kaiser in my experience is terrible with accommodations in appointments and scheduling that would actually be helpful to people they are treating with ADHD.

Haha yeah this kills me. Even before I started to entertain the idea that ADHD might be a factor it's always frustrated me that mental health professionals would be aware that certain things are just hard for me, because of mental health issues, but still make no provisions for it. Like you'd think this is the one field where things are a bit easier and missing or being 10 minutes late to an appointment doesn't carry the same consequences.

My experience of CBT is not good, and I think the scientific consensus surrounding it leaves much to be desired as well. I think its popularity has more to do with business interests than actual worth. I won't rant about this here but you know, google it, and talk to people in the mental health profession who don't personally stand to profit from it or from you.

So ... has anyone seen any benefits from therapy for ADHD?

From stuff I've read online it seems like medication + therapy together is the best approach, rather than either one on its own.

But the therapy I see recommended for ADHD is CBT, and my awareness of the history and proliferation of it in modern psychology leads me to be very sceptical of it.

I don't know if MSB is the best place to ask this and I could probably go on some ADHD reddit or something, but the MU* community is what led me to initially pursue an assessment for it and I feel like my thought processes probably share more in common with other MU*ers than with the average person.

Saint Andrewism is a Trinidadian artist & anarchist who makes video essays about aesthetics, politics and idealism.

Pros:

• Calm, soothing voice which is pleasant to listen to
• Videos are peppered with bits of dry, biting sass which will make you smirk
• Informative, educational and original thinker
• Some essays are long (my favourite of his is 50 minutes) but some are short (10 minutes or less) so when time is a factor there's still plenty to choose from.
• They aren't overly visual so you don't actually have to pay full attention to the screen and can just play his videos in the background while taking care of chores or whatever.

Cons:

• He's not very apologetic about his views so it may not be suitable for people who sit comfortably either on the fence or on the other side of it.

Linking his popular uploads playlist, the first of which is just 8 minutes: What is Solarpunk?

I've been pretty bummed out about not receiving proper mental healthcare due to what I perceive to be institutional biases.

And like, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm right. It's my credibility against the experts, who's gonna believe a self-professed crazy who thinks she knows better because Dr Google said so?

So I sat here thinking what to do. I tried contacting some other experts, who specialise in providing mental healthcare to the specific demographics targeted by these institutional biases, but they're all on double-crazy waiting lists and can't offer more than a 'maybe in 3 months, if you're lucky, and get your foot in the door then.'

Then I remembered that mental healthcare is all made up based on the stated, subjective and perceived feelings imperfectly bandied about between labelled crazy people and people who've made a living labelling crazy people. And that I can just cut out the middleman and skip straight to the hard science without having to worry about the institutional biases of the flawed individuals whose job is just to make their best educated guess.

So I'm off to get a bunch of scans of my brain. It's actually a lot cheaper than I thought it would be (cheaper than the junk assessment a psychiatrist gave me) and honestly I'm super excited. Who doesn't want pictures of their brain to gawk at?

Completely loved Cruella. This film was serving up looks like it was going out of style. It was also shot in a really engaging way and had great tunes, so considering how heavily fashion features it really delivers. Aesthetically speaking I give it a 10/10.

I liked the story though that probably isn't going to be the selling point for most people; it had a good balance of dark and edgy with fun and campy. The plot is kind of Money Heist meets Gossip Girl? Devil Wears Prada meets Ocean's Eight?

In summary if gawking at cool dresses and fierce femme fatales is your bag, you're going to like this movie.

Some days I'll be having a self-esteem thing where I worry about the various ways I measure up and how others must perceive me.

And then I'll walk through the door and my dog is there going OMG IT'S YOU. HI. I HAVE MISSED YOU. YOU ARE THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD AND YOU HAVE BRIGHTENED MY DAY IMMEASURABLY JUST BY EXISTING. ILYSM.

And that helps me get back on track so I can stop thinking stupid thoughts and do something useful instead, like throwing her a ball or wrestling her for five minutes.

She is a gift, and I totally understand dog people now.

@l-b-heuschkel said in Attachment to old-school MU* clients:

@ninjakitten said in Attachment to old-school MU* clients:

@sunny Huh! I think that'd feel really odd to me. Even though I don't do a lot of grid-walking (I tend to teleport, on any kind of game that lets me) I like having a grid, and walking it at least a few times. It gives me a better feeling for how things are linked up -- that and maps, though ideally both -- which I inevitably need at some point when I have to figure out whether X is a block from Y or all the way across town, or similar. I guess I could probably work with a good, detailed map if there wasn't a grid, as long as things still had descs, but it'd still feel... just weird to me not to have a grid.

Same. I want a grid and an ascii map of the major locations. Not because I need it to navigate, but because it helps me keep an idea in my head of what this place's geography is like, and make sure that that idea is not too different from everyone else's. I suppose a hand drawn map could achieve the same, but there needs to be something, at least.

These are great points I hadn't considered. I know at least one person was thinking about some grid randomisation code a while back, where basically you'd input a command to go find a bar in some city and the game would automatically generate one which can then be referenced by anyone else in future, or they can just keep spawning new bars this city supposedly has. The idea was to combat the "small world" feel a lot of games suffer from, where they're supposed to represent something like a network of planets or a great medieval fantasy land but the scope is limited by how much patience builders have to fill in every detail. I live in my country's capital and can't imagine any game ever successfully mapping out all the bars and tunnels and secret hideaways it has to fully capture the feel of what life in this big city is like.

But if it robs people of even a basic sense of what the environment they're navigating is like, I can see how that would be a problem. Unless perhaps you give players the authority to pencil their additions into this vaguely hand-drawn (or even computer generated) map?

EDITx2: I know the coder whose idea I'm referencing up there has posted on MSB but I can't find their posts and don't remember their handle right now. I'll link it in if I figure it out. Found.

@ninjakitten said in Online friends:

most people have friends who would happily bring them soup if they lived close enough but can't, whether they originally met playing games on the playground or the internet.

Is everyone I talk to online a genuine friend? No. Do friendships drift? Yes. Is this any different than with people whose breath I can occasionally smell? No. It's just harder to give them a hug. Or a mint.

Sometimes would they is less important than can they, is my point.

I love fantasy, but I don't want it to supplant the reality of what I have and what I need.

words ain't enough

@derp said in Flincher14 banned:

@mietze said in Flincher14 banned:

Banned again.

Wait, who was he this time?

Drama, aptly named.

@carma

@derp said in Attachment to old-school MU* clients:

@kestrel said in Attachment to old-school MU* clients:

I think people are overestimating to some degree the gulf of difference between MUDs and MUSHes.

I mean, don't get me wrong, the interface or whatever looks cool on this one. But. I think you may be underestimating that same gulf.

Especially since, as far as I can tell, on this MUD you're just -- playing with yourself, rather than actively collaborating with other people. And I think that's where the real difference lies.

On a MUD your adventures and encounters come from pre-coded situations. On a MUSH, they come directly from the minds of other people in real time, and that's a big world of difference.

Written Realms for clarification can absolutely be used to create multiplayer MUDs. MUDs by definition aren't single-player, SUDs are actually very rare. There's just an example one up there on the website to allow anyone who might want to use it to build their own game to fiddle around and understand how it all works.

Iron Realms Entertainment (IRE) MUDs like Achaea (web client of which I've posted a screenshot above) are fully multiplayer; they're basically text-based MMOs. And although I no longer play them, I'm aware of very vibrant RP communities on them, and have read/partaken in some very neat logs. Players interact both with automated NPCs and with other players.