Posts made by kk

@macha

I am so sorry for what you are going through and I wish that I could more words of advice to offer, but I really don't.

One thing I will say is that pain control is important and that they should be addressing your pain. So I would push for that.

@arkandel

I am sure you are right. Sometimes it is way more easy to dream about what one would like to see than to make it happen. Like I would love that game, but I wouldn't be capable of making it happen and I am sure it much easier said than done!

But you make a point - you would need prp runners to make it work and the prps would be need more interesting than always just fighting more blight trolls...hehe.

One thing that sometimes annoys me about plot based/adventure/fighting the big bad games can be the gate keeping that sometimes happens.

Instead of a kingdom filled with people who will fight, politic, try to kiss staff ass to get on or to be allowed to go on the adventure/join the plot

I would rather start with a premise that everyone is on the adventure. That certain prps related to going off scouting, fighting and etc while on that adventure are very easy to make happen. Allowing players who might be in the right /ooc social group/ to still do their side adventures.

And the people waiting back in the Kingdom are mostly npcs or inactive pcs - but the pcs are the adventurers and heroes.

I sometimes think games have the pcs as the masses waiting back in the kingdom and the /special/ pcs doing the adventures.

And would love a game that totally breaks that mold. Every pc is an adventurer. Doesn't mean they are all fighters - they could have came along to fix the armor or heal the wounded and etc or even socially charm when such is needed - but they are all on the mission to speak.

I would never run a mush because I lack the skills to be staff let alone run a game! But if I did make a mush it would be...

An original fantasy Lord and Ladies style game in which a large Kingdom has been pushed back by an evil blight onto a smaller and smaller area of land over time and no longer has the resources needed to maintain their population and must find a way to reclaim some of their own lands fallen to darkness once again if they have hope of providing for everyone eventually.

So a large group was gathered up to travel into the blighted lands and to try and bring it back. Some where volunteers who did such out of honor, some joined for money, some to pay off debt, some to feed a family the left behind and etc. Some are nobles some are commoners. Some are fighters, rangers, healers, mystics, survivalists, hunters, priests , weapon smiths, armorers and etc. But everyone has a skill that might be useful while on a survivalist mission fighting the darkness.

And the game takes the group (all the pcs) as they travel through the blight, make camps, fight over the course of years trying to restore the land for their kingdom. New people can come from the Kingdom and volunteer later (allowing new characters to join up later) and sometimes the party might return the Kingdom at times. People can leave (stop playing) and leave the adventuring group for the kingdom.

Lots of characters die fighting. Battles, ranging scenes are pretty regular and prps are encouraged.

People can go on side missions away from the main group. Sometimes they camp in one area for extended period of time, but no perm homes are made at the start anyways.

The Grid would be each character having a a camping tent, a group camp/fort (multi rooms) and various sides rooms for adventures and prps.

Characters can get married while on the adventure, but they all know they might die and marriage and children is not typically their goal of those who volunteered. That is for nobles who stayed at home.

Eventually as the story progresses some areas they reclaimed might be settled and built up and the grid expanded and some characters might stay behind in those places if they wish, turning into more of a settled Lords and Ladies game. But the blight must be always be watched for and fought back against.

This came would basically have lots of battles with blight trolls and lots of survivalist type scenes, tracking, hunting, finding edible plants and etc.

The everyone having a tent build would allow people to have a place for private scenes even on a game that is focused on the game being largely together while on a mission. And the side missions, scouting, skirmishes etc allow people do prps that don't involve /everyone/.

The volunteers who stop fighting for a while and return to the kingdom or volunteer after the mission started and join later allow people to come and go from the game as needed.

To tell npcs and pcs apart, I go with what staff says they are.

Sometimes staff says this character is an npc or this character is a pc. If staff says it is their pc, I am like the character is a pc. If they say the character is an npc, I am like oh the character is an npc.

I never had staff lie to me about that, but I guess it could happen!

Pcs=Player characters - Characters that have coded a bit and follow the rules of character generation for pcs and who when a staffer is playing them they are not playing as a staffer, but are playing as a player enjoying the game. They are off duty so to speak.

Npcs without coded bits=Whoever we pose into a scene as players or staff who are not coded character bits. All the extras we pose into plot are npcs.

Npcs with coded bits=Are repeat returning characters played by staff (or a player granted control over them by staff) when they are acting as a staffer (or on staff's behalf) rather than as a player.

They may not have followed the rules of standard pc generation and they generally (but not always) are there to promote pcs, advance plot, highlight theme, fill leadership gaps and enhance the over all game story. They are on duty so to speak (but are hopefully still haing a fun time!)

Posts have been vanishing off this thread and the Arx thread.

What is up with @Seraphim73's post saying it doesn't exist when I try to upvote it even though I can clearly read it!

My opinion (Just an opinion)

Could care less who staff is tsing or romancing on their pcs so long as they not pressuring anyone or being a jerkface about it. It is not even my business and for me to spend time worrying about that would feel creepy af to me.

I also support staff in having pcs who engage in romance/sex if they so wish, because it is important for us to still have staff on games and if we put too many restrictions on them we are not going to have many willing to give up their own fun to staff.

I don't really care about staff doing ts/romance on minor npcs who don't have a lot of power/influence/sway or as someone said before in sandbox games or slice of life type of games. It also is just not by beeswax what people are rping privately.

However when tinysex/romance between powerful npcs and pcs is starting to have massive and noticeable effects on the game's ic storyline and ooc culture, it likely is a problem.

If pcs are getting huge plot advantages or lots of gear/wealth/rare items, an edge in PvP conflicts, having catty fights over npc's sexual attentions, toxically making sure to tell everyone they are tsing staff so you better do what they want and etc, then it is a problem.

Nobody should feel like they need to ts with staff to get ahead, get plot, get stuff on a game.

But the biggest thing to watch out for staff (on npcs or pcs) tsing with players is that nobody feels likes they will have negative consequences for not doing this rp.

Even good intentions can go haywire and perception does effect things even if nothing was mal intended. Also the staffer doesn't need to be toxic for there to be a problem. A toxic player might take a lot of advantage of it being known they are in a relationship with a powerful npc.

It also is sensory over stimulating in bad way (too me - probably not to most) - the lighting is intensely done with the dark and the bright lights and the music is really really jarring at times in a way that provokes intense feelings. I cannot unhear what they did to Ava Maria.

That being said - this again probably means they did something really really right in making a dark mood and probably was genius rather than a mistake..

The people I went with loved it and didn't have the same issues as me.

@zombiegenesis

They did a good job at making a dark Batman. I couldn't really handle something that dark and should have looked more into before going. But even looking fully into it wouldn't have been warning enough.

The total effect of the music, lighting, acting, set designs had an effect that was very convincing and emotional that goes beyond just hearing what was in the movie alone if that makes sense.

Like the music alone was anxiety provoking. I love the song Ava Maria, but the changes they did it to and the scenes they paired it with while well done was super intense.

And the lighting with was down right eerie almost sickeningly eerrie.

This doesn't mean they did a bad job, they probably did a really wonderful job. If they failed at a Dark Batman I probably wouldn't be at 4 am right now!

But I would say if someone is super sensitive to dark shows like me, might want to think twice before seeing it.

@arkandel

I went to see and I recognized that it was very well done, but I couldn't really tolerate it not because of any flaws in the movie but maybe because it was almost too good at what it was doing.

The violence was too much for me, the dark eerie lighting, the music while good kept me super anxious especially when I was already super anxious over war. The mental torment of some of the characters was too easy to emphasize too much and made me super anxious. I ended up covering my face during part of it and trying to take breaths to calm down it was that kind of bad for me.

So while probably a good movie, it too dark for everyone!

Probably not a movie for people who are sensitive, not in the right mood and etc.

Since I have talked a lot about my life, I will give a little update.

I am past Omicron and back at work. I am not 100 percent better though. While I got less sick from Omicron than early wave covid, the long term effects seem to be lingering longer. That being said I am not totally sure how much is Omicron and how much is just fatigue in dealing with the Pandemic or even a more pysch reaction to to all. I don't know. I probably have covid PTSD and covid fatigue.

I have been super fatigued and have covid brain fog (which is better than it was) as someone born with developmental issues, it seems to have set me back a bit. That being said each day seems a little better and I have hope that I will get back my pre covid baseline.

Some rpers have been so patient with goofy brain fog poses and I appreciate that.

That I am back at work and getting through my days speaks volumes for doing better. My energy and charting at work both been very very hard - days are difficult to make it through in a way they weren't before.

That being said I work 12-17 hour shifts and that I used to be able to back to back 17 hour shifts was some epic stamina, so maybe I am just being normal that I am exhausted, idk! But its not normal for me.

The outbreak at my work is passing us by. We lost some patients, all staff and most patients survived this outbreak. I am heartbroken over some of our loses in Omicron and earlier waves, but cannot really speak about that.

I am hopefully that maybe we have immunity to Omicron 2 and will be good for a while.

We got some strong travelers and a new staffer who is absolutely bad ass when it comes to recruiting. Despite the intense nursing shortage we are doing much better at getting in staff. He is a rock star and lure people in from all over the country, some real rock stars and warriors. I feel less alone in our battle there.

Do to my extreme exhaustion and our increased staffing, I am cutting hours down to 3-4 days a week and taking at least 3 days off every week.

I can rp some now and even been in the mood to play some! Been having an absolute blast at Liberation mush and really enjoyed my scene the other night on Arx ran by Scraps. I appreciate the people who run Liberation and Arx, giving us places to play.

It is kind of day by day at this point.

I super appreciate all the people in mushing and on MSB, who have been supportive ooc during my covid journey, listening to my posts here and some who listened to my ooc covid trauma. Some who don't even like me much, been super kind.

We have some negative things about mushing communities, but there are some wonderful things as well and even when I didn't play much - mushers were super supportive to me through this all.

I like MSB sometimes as a safe place to talk about real life, it is sort of yelling into the void and might be read and might not read, but sometimes that is just what needs. It is is a bit like journaling.

Tomorrow, I am back to the battlefield - need to get through my 3-4 days straight depending on if I get called in and a little nervous, cause my energy sucks, but well I will do my best, its all we can do, our best.

I can see different sides of this issue. I appreciate staff trying to make sure that something is true before acting on it or at least considering the possibility that sometimes it is the players who are complaining that are in the wrong. Sometimes all sides are in the wrong!

I also appreciate staff dealing swiftly and quickly with creepers.

The two don't always need to be in conflict.

One can take quick strong action against someone they are pretty sure is a serial creeper and also investigate more fully look at the nuisances where it seems like it could be ooc drama fueled by gossip, cliques and over reactions.

It doesn't really need to be one or the other. They often present very differently imo.

Deleted my work rant, cause too charged up!

@tnp

hmms maybe I will try that before bed tonight.

I am planning to go back to work tomorrow. I will be starting off strong with a four day stretch back on the covid unit.

I am still not 100 percent, but I am hoping that I am well enough and I ma hoping that by Sunday, I am well and truly on the upswing.

Omicron was a really different illness for me than the first wave covid. I didn't get as dramatically crashing and ending up in the hospital sick, but had/have this lingering set of odd and annoying problems that are still not resolved. (headaches, low grad fevers, exhaustion, joint pain, but also really dramatic brain fog).

I hope the fevers are done, because if they are not I might have to take more time and that would be really letting my work down.

And I am a bit worried about the brain fog, my dyslexia has like backtracked and is worse than it was and well I have to be sure my thinking is clear enough to go safely back.

So I am hopefully going back Sunday, we will see.

I was actually bummed that MSB was done, because in the real life section, this is almost a safe space to rant and I needed to rant!

Also is sort of weak, but I have almost PTSD from earlier covid wave and while this one did go better for us in terms of the availability of PPE, survival rate of our patients, illness being much more mild.

There was a psychological reaction to me in finding out as I could barely continue and stand exhaustion, was positive. Like okay it is not only that I worked myself to that point.

And then memories of going down mid shift and ending in the Hospital. I was like, no I can't...work through it, I'm afraid too that I will work until I almost die again and that is partly why I need to rest too. For the mental effect of me going, I was able to take care of myself too, like other people can when they get sick.

Our culture sometimes allows for everyone, but Nurses to rest and take care of themselves when sick.