Posts made by kk

I care too much

Actually the worse I ever done was made and sold Banjos on Arx!

Well no that wasn't either, but now is def ot the time to list my wore things ever.

I posed Reese wrapped in pink ribbons in a mummy like style, def not the worse I have done though, not by far.

Reese#8812

If you want to talk to me about gardens I am down! Or mushing, probably most of the peeps who want to chat with me have it though . Was Reese/Petal on Arx. Am some mortals on Liberation. Still have Petal.

I put in my two weeks notice today. Very hard to do. Have agency work lined up making 20-40 more per hour depending on the assignment. I feel bad, but all the management I used to work with left and we are down to just 4 day nurses who are not agency and they won't raise us to what they pay agency. And well it is not even a safe work setting and corporate is so checked out they are not even pretending to try and fix things. But I do feel bad and I am bracing, not sure if can actually go through it. I did put in the note today though.

So I play on Liberation which is world of darkness and highly recommend it. It is active, welcoming, high energy and oocly very chill and low work.

I am might go back to Shadow Run Denver now that they are 18+ for characters, they have some good rpers there.

I have Arx characters, but I personally struggle on that game for various reasons. It is active game and people's experience there tends to vary quiet a bit. .

And those are the only three games I know anything about.

It can be hard to play a combat character if one is on a game with limited invites into the fight scenes and in a lot of ways more comfortable to be a non-combat character at least for me.

That is because if I have this bad ass with high strength and weapons and etc who is supposed to be all brave, going lol I didn't attend the battle and am drinking in a bar instead, I feel my character is being pretty lame or kind of failed.

Where as if I am a cute little social character - I am lot more like oh, whatever, I can still have fun cheering on the heroes who did go on the mission/battle and I feel like their lack of bravery, and not being there to help defend is not such a big deal or an over all failure of that character at being well the character they were designed to be or they can more easily slide into a supporting/minion role if they are not getting into the main action.

My feeling is that important thing is that rules for people on min/maxing be the same for everyone.

Meaning If one wants to limit it, limit it for everyone in the game in and have clear rules.

Like maybe allowing people to start with only one stat at 4+, but having that rule be the rule for everyone.

It is too easy for staff/gms to accidently favor their friends and look the other way if their friends min/max, but not stop people they don't know from doing such.

Also if one is going to min/max than make sure to really play the min staff like a flaw. Such as play a strength 1 character as weakling.

For the most part I don't care about min/maxing. I only really care if some people are allowed to min/max and others not allowed.

Min/maxing often becomes an xp discount as in many game systems it is cheap and easy to later raise strength to 2, but hard and expense to raise strength later from 4 to 5.

I appreciate the support. Thank you. And well no decisions made yet, but I need to process things and rest.

I am pretty close to leaving. Thanks for the feedback and the words of support.

I needed a little time to process before I answered.

I can make more money, I could get a schedule that works around all the plans I have this summer and could actually do all the things for a change.

And those to elements have been very tempting.......

The real reason is that yeah it just is not safe anymore and we lost all our in house leadership who used to care and corporate does not care at all.

That being said it is easier said that done.

I feel bad for my patients for leaving and it is hard to walk away from a place that one invested so much blood, sweet and tears for already. It sounds easy and like oh just quit, but it is really really hard.

I deleted but it all comes down to something needs to be done about violence against health care workers - I am not sure what needs to be done or how to do it, but it cannot continue like it is.

@kk
It does really irk that American culture is so /whatever/ who cares when it comes to the rise in assaults and violence against nurses.

Was physically assaulted and mildly injured at work yesterday. It is a pretty normal thing in nursing, especially in my specific area of nursing. It is not the first time, it won't be the last time.

But I am a little in a burn out phase of nursing and getting the shit beat out (but I am okay, to be clear on that) of me didn't really help..

Thinking more and more that it is time to move on. That the leaders at my job are not doing enough (or anything at all) to keep nursing staff safe and they couldn't give af at the corporate level. I could easily make $20+ more an hour and probably in less dangerous settings and work my hours around some up coming things I need to be there for this summer.

On the other hand - I have this intense sense of loyalty toward my patients and place of work that makes it hard for me to leave, especially since some of them I nursed through covid twice and since I almost died in the battle. There is this..its hard to explain almost war time loyalty! Like we are in the trenches together, we almost died together, some didn't make it.

Then again I am only one of few still in this trench. We got have no nursing management that was there in early covid and we have only 5 floor nurses including myself who are the same.

We got only 2 nurse managers one started yesterday. We are staffed by about 90 percent agency staff who work day by day.

I am like should I really stay in this trench alone, on a sinking ship at this point?

And the answer is, I don't know.

@il-volpe

Ooooooh! excited.

@pyrephox

Oh, for sure, I agree. It is def easier for me to sit here as someone who never even staffed before and go this is what I would like!

It take mad skills to make a mush happen, let alone a mush that has lots of action and includes most players

@macha

Sometimes people under estimate the importance of treating pain. But pain itself can make a person sicker and untreated pain tends to escalate into worse and worse pain. I try to get address pain in my patients while it is mild so that it doesn't escalate into more serious pain. And often I try to think outside the box - position changes, diversion, massages, mild heat or cold, topical pain creams and etc. That doesn't always work of course - but sometimes if I can get some pain cream on a person's knee and get their leg elevated before the pain is serious - I can prevent it from becoming serious and they might have an all round better day.

We are often taught to /tough/ out the pain - but I find that pain people attempt to /tough/ out often snowballs and even delays healing.

The other side of it is of course that every pain pill comes with side effects and draw backs, so it can be a very delicate balance and often care providers are walking a very fine line when trying to address pain.

My best advice is to make sure your care provider knows the level of pain you are and how it is effecting your life.

And I feel for you - I have autoimmune issues and have many relatives with autoimmune issues and it is a hard path to walk.

I had this moment today.

I am a flushed, florid, ruby skinned Irish girl and I had this moment today where I started to cry and it was not a pretty cry, it was an ugly cry like only us tomato skinned when worked up people can do, impressively ugly crying.

Anyways....

I started to cry over the patients we lost to covid, to think about them and remember them by name. I then started to cry for myself too, feeling sad about basically being in social isolation for the past few years so that I wouldn't spread covid.

And then something happened, when I stopped crying, I felt better than I have felt in a long long time.

Its kind of goofy, but I am actually finding it hard to adjust to working only 40 hours and not being on a covid unit. Like I am all charged up for a fight that isn't there for me right now. Like I was feeling lost about what to do when not constantly working - paranoidly waiting to hear about the next variant and being all tense and anxious, just waiting. I even went down dark paths....

well if its not Covid there will be another worse pandemic soon, better get ready, prepare, stock-up, grow anti-viral plants. I was all pandemic, pandemic!

Then I just sort of let go.....its a weird experience and hard to explain with words. I am like I don't really need to socially isolate for now. I had my vaccines, I recently had Omicron, I am not working with covid patients currently. No reason I cannot start to see people again and do things! And I reconnected with some folks and I deeply cried over patients we lost and even let go of some guilt.

I felt horrible that I patient I cared for died of covid while I was out sick with covid, going if I stuck it out, maybe I could have saved him, maybe the agency nurse didn't do everything possible.

And I had been holding on to that and tormented by that and I thought of his memory, I cried for him, I apologized to him and then I felt this moment of having let go that was almost a spiritual experience that is hard to explain.

I do realize there could be another variant and that I will likely need to isolate again at some point, for right now, at this moment, I am no more dangerous to be around anyone else and I feel like I am finally starting to feel from Covid both physically and in my very soul.