Best posts made by mietze

Also, Internet romances and hookups and scamming have been going on for a long time, ever since the internet became more publicly accessible. Before that pen pal romances and hookups were a thing (including serial killers using that as a way to scam people out of money. Even in the 1800s!

I don’t think this is a kids these days problem. And most teens these days are a little more savvy (albeit teenagers) than people my age (40s) are/we’re even if generationally we look down on them as entitled.

It’s a comfort thing to think kids these days are just dumbasses but I can guarantee you the people who get scammed and ripped of the most are not the teens and twenty somethings.

Banned again.

@Arkandel I do not think that an automated cg that spits a ton of people out onto the grid quickly solves the problem and may in fact exacerbate it especially on an original themed game where there may need to be some front in quality control.

But yes, you will lose some people (possibly very loudly) if you do not adhere to their timetables. I'm not sure that I think this is a bad thing because there's always going to be some bottleneck. "OMFG approval took 4-7 days even though there were 75 applications!" Easily evolved into other time crunch angst.

I think if you do not have any chill or patience, it is better to wait to app in for a few weeks and let the staff work out the kinks. Especially if you do not plan on apping in/going for a high mucketymuck on a place where it is first come first served.

@thenomain i don’t see that has been the implication.

I’m sorry, but again. Any woman who has been part of a political organization no matter what orientation or side probably has with experienced it or knows someone who has or has been a witness to it.

I got rape threats on social media via a group that was organizing for Sanders. Only by the extremely loud and unrelenting from the group activism did we recently oust a state level political organizer from my party that raped a woman at a party event 3 days after she turned 18–and there are still people who will say out loud, oh that’s too bad, he’s such an awesome organizer. The state party chair screamed at someone wanting to pass a resolution at the state level specifically decrying rape and sexual violence and not tolerating it within the party that they and the victim could go “get fucked.” (The state party chair is a woman).

Rapes and sexual harassment happen in every single group on all sides. Pretty sure that 99.9 percent of all women could have told anyone who asked this.

@lithium all of the stuff I listed in the original post happened within the mushing community, and in fact was sometimes disclosed on snark site ideations. Bragged about even. But just like now, I don’t believe it was cool to most people who read it. But it has happened. I would be shocked if sexual assault hasn’t happened. I know there have been allegations of abusers picking up vulnerable partners via mushing.

I mean it happens and it will wherever there is a stronger sense of intimacy due to chatting or whatever or a pinpoint focus that can’t hapoen in daily life.

But! I am long in the tooth enough to remember this being famous in other groups too—SCA, live action LARPing, radio chats, etc.

@greenflashlight it was a typo. Sorry. Has been corrected now.

It is kind of weird, I find myself not attached to those things either.

These days I am much more attracted to active staff who seem to have a cohesive vision and are not afraid to cull people who just refuse to abide by community standards, large or small.

I am willing (after some internal screaming and foot stomping of course) to learn new systems and commands if that is present. If it's not , even if the game has every tchotchke and sphere and familiar code and even people I love there--i know that's the kiss of death for me as a player there, as far as being willing to invest my time.

The only reason why this is getting much attention now is because attractive white women are coming forward.

And yes, there are many of us continuing to fight for communities of color, both within and alongside. Which is pretty obvious if you’re involved.

I do think it’s telling that so many people “wonder” if people are working towards multiple things. As an activist, I confess, when I hear the wonderings I wonder how concerned people can’t NOT see the work being done.

Unless they aren’t part of it. I hope more people become part of it. Certainly the community is growing like I’ve never seen in the last 20 years.

I find it is more common for people to feel resentment or discomfort because they are projecting what they think others will think/do. So they go along with what they think others want and then feel grumpy and that leads to a cascade of other things. So like, if a scene is veering into topics they cant be part of, instead of just making a good exit and try to pick up later or just telling people that they are digging the group but things are heading into CoI or whatever they will stay and fret because they think if they leave everyone will hate them (almost never is this true).

I see more problems arise sentiment wise when someone doesnt allow themselves to be able to leave a scene politely/positively and so they stay where they are bored/uncomfortable/irritated. It is definitely a skill to be able to leave a scene well and oocly positively, I think people often feel awkward about it, and there are a lot of bad feels/perceptions of others/fretting as a result. That can feel like control on many ends.

I get most of my pickup RP either from parking by myself in public and inviting people on chan to stop by if they want bevause I am happy to set or flagging myself lrp. I would say about 75 percent of my RP time is with new folks/people I have no idea who they are oocly and like that very much or PCs i have seldom encountered. It doesnt bother me to be the loser that sits in public rooms on grid and is bypassed for RP. For whatever reason it does not make me feel as bad as I do when someone says OOC or on chan in a general group would anyone like to play and when I offer it is ignored and they ask again like 15 minutes later.

Once I left my (very southern) household and got out from my parents' thumb many moons ago I threw out all my makeup and pantyhose and I think I can count on both hands the number of times I've worn makeup in the last 15 years, and on one hand the times I've worn pantyhose in the last 23. (Yes, I'm sure you all really wanted to know that, sorry). I don't know my elbows from my ass in makeup application, and I probably should learn some since I'm like old and shit and could actually probably use it now maybe. I never learned how to do it because I would only do mascara and a little powder and lie to my mother about having my makeup on.

But now I have a 13 year old, who stole all my makeup that had been idling in my bathroom drawer for like 10 years and used it up in 2 months, and who has rolled her eyes at me and insisted on doing my eyeliner and shadow for me so that "it will actually look good." Now all I need is for her to figure out how to use a hot iron for hair (preferably not by experimenting on mine) and I might actually look presentable one of these days.

I admire knitting and crochet a great deal, but every time I've tried to learn them I end up wanting to stab someone (or myself) with the needles and hanging myself with the yarn in frustration so I don't go there anymore. I like naughty cross stitch patterns (https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/subversive-cross-stitch) and I can actually do that stuff without violence. I love to cook. But like crafty stuff that other moms do I mean I'm just a hopeless cause.

So imma just stick to cooking, pottery, and massage. I just barter for cool shit like scarves and stuff amongst friends. It's amazing what you can trade an hour long massage for!!

Considering how many of the under 30 folks I know work jobs in which they are private contractors or in the service industry professionals I am pretty sure that most have seem pretty bad entitled maladaptive behaviors from people my age and older. Even if they have not yet had the opportunity to be involved with PTA, church, or other community orgs in leadership--and I will hp a step further in saying that I see far more young adults doing that now than I did when I was often the only young adult on a sea of middle aged people.

That may be why people nope out. Not because they are scared away but because they already have to deal with rude middle aged people incorrectly identifying them generationally and blaming them for shit we or older people fucked up after benefitting from what we fucked up leaving them with nothing. They have to deal with that all the time, why would you tolerate more.

Let's call it them having better things to do with their time than we do.

@krmbm that sounds like a great thing. Allows people to have an ooc room but also easy monitoring.

I will admit that the only celebrity that I actually cried on reading that they’d died was Fred Rogers. By all accounts he seemed like the real deal.

@Seraphim73 yep. It has been really interesting going back and revisiting things with them. I try to not review in advance (since my bigs are big enough I do not feel I should screen, since it's important for them to see my authentic reactions too) It's also prompted some pretty awesome discussions, especially how a lot of themes havent changed or subtle differences, ways some things have gotten better/worse. Or about a broader segment of entertainment media (since tv and movies are going to be a little more conservative usually than social media/videos/podcasting, ect.)

@faraday I agree that a free-form note is probably the most useful, though sometimes there seems to be resistance to having to write/read one which is not really understandable to me personally, but it is what it is.

@cobaltasaurus salt is my weapon of choice! The kimchi soup depending is pretty healthy albeit chock full of salty fermenty goodness, but pho broth is extremely lovely deceptively fatty and salty as hell. :). Homemade broth of any sort are my kids’ go to comfort food that’s not junk food so they hang out like vultures when I’m making pho stock or any other kind and I have to fight them off enough so there’s enough for dinner dinner.

Also the good fake cheesy kale chips are full of fat and nuts! The vegan ones tend to be the most unhealthy.

Do you grate the zucchini/yellows raw? Not a fan of them cooked but I like them as crudités, don’t know why it never occurred to me to put them in a salad!

I guess if you do not want to have to do whatever everyone else has had to do to gain entrance to a game, then you will need to persuade the people running it that you are someone they want to participate so much that they are willing to amend or forego the rules for the sake of your inclusion.

I bet that this /can/ be done, but seldom is it going to happen by telling them that their vetting/selection process is stupid.

Usually I see what kinds of hoops there are for participation as just as informative for me as for them. Do I like their management style? Do I think I can approach them/how do they react? If the answer is no/no/no then it seems like a good time to walk away.

Yep. A communication facilitator is very different from "player advocate". I think if you need specifically a player /advocate/ that's a red flag for a few reasons.

Someone who can help people communicate better is useful for all, since not only is ham handed staff communication a huge issue, but a player who isn't capable of communication without these issues also would be served by having someone who could help them be able to advocate--for themselves.

When I have seen a 3rd party start to take on a psychic/empathic role (without the presence of the person, telling others what they "really meant" or going to bat for things that the 3rd party assumes but did not confirm) it can become a problem and also not solve the problem.

But again, I think if your whole current staff is so incapable of this that you need to bring in another person exclusively for that, I think that it is unlikely to succeed because one person is not going to be enough.

@zobi I personally would omit the cheese unless it was those cheese crisp things but that sounds good to me! I may be guilty of buying a bag of croutons just to eat as a snack though.