Posts made by mietze

One of my current PC used to send horrible poetry to pretty ladies that caught her eye as well as flirting in scenes before RL weasels stole my energy/creativity for awhile and she has via ic happenings and growth turned into a much more reserved personality. I dont know I would have ever called her a creeper even at her most cheesy but you can flirt outrageously ic and still make sure to not cross lines. I almost always asked if people wanted dorky messengers. If someone in scene made it clear they icly the attention wasn't warranted the PC is courtly enough to immediately back off. There are ways you can do it while giving people an easy out.

@JinShei yeah, this is def part of it for me. I have checked in with other women RL, its kind of a thing, I have done it online for the same reason.

I think there's always a risk for checking in or intervening.

The line for when your gut is telling you that its good information for staff to know is going to be situational, personal, and frankly how much you think staff gives shit (which admittedly is not much on many places).

While I do/have intervened icly by calling out ic behavior in scene (if its appropriate for the personality or status of my pc to do so) or more classical RL strategies of coming over to talk to the person being targeted to give them either an out from engaging with someone who is targeting them or to get a better read on how they react, that also can get some heat (esp if the person is using ic to be inappropriate/aggressive with ooc motivations). It is a difficult thing to balance. But hey, if they are doing this in public (whether that is two people getting jollies forcing others to watch, someone targeting someone in public or at a scene they feel they must be at so that the creeper has access/cant be avoided as easily, whatever) ICly I think its okay to incorporate ic responses to it in your own poses. Sometimes that is enough to get the other person to page you with a "s/he wont leave me alone," if they are feeling uncomfortable too.

I have definitely seen people pushing the line in a public scene (as well as had it done to me) because a person is relying on the target to not make a fuss when there are other people around. It is rarer though, and usually they are violating some kind of standard (assuming they can grab/kiss/touch someone in a pose without asking or leaving an opening for it to be rebuffed, for example), not just being "flirty."

I have been on both the observer side of this and the person who had mild to moderate creepy stuff directed at them IC or OOC in a scene with others.

Honestly, these days, if something is really setting off alarm bells I will either check in with the target if they seem to be trying to ignore or minimally respond to the other person's advances/antics with a "hey, would you like <my pc> to come over there and provide a distraction?" or just do so (sometimes the response to that ICly can provide clues--if they glom on to the conversation then that's a good indication that they were seeking escape. If I don't feel that I can do that, or the behavior has crossed a line into making me personally very uncomfortable, NOT just annoyed or a bit skeeved, (this usually ONLY happens with ooc commentary/inappropriate or pushing comments) then I will just ping staff, logging and sending that interaction, with a brief explanation of why it made ME feel uncomfortable, expect no response, but that I just thought it was worth noting in case the other person needed a check in or does at some point.

I try to sit on that for a little while (at least to the end of the scene either because it ends or because I leave), to make sure it's not an emotional reaction to something else going on that has nothing to do with mushing. And I try to keep an open mind that I could just be reading things very wrong--it happens.

It has been many many many years since I felt vulnerable enough online that I didn't feel empowered and able to be very direct with someone making unwelcome creepy comments, or felt just fine totally ignoring their inappropriate behavior and not rewarding it with attention. But I am very grateful that when I have found myself in that situation where someone was crossing the line (usually in ooc chatter or behavior directed at me in a group of people) and I felt less able to do that, almost always at least one person asked "are you okay?" Or I got contacted by staff because someone had talked to them about it. Almost always I did really need the support that I wasn't nuts, and that the person's behavior was actually inappropriate, not something I deserved or brought on myself.

I understand people not wanting to get involved, and I don't think that is a bad choice to not really worry about what the other person MIGHT be feeling (Because you could definitely be wrong) and to assume that they are more than capable to take care of it themselves. If something is really concerning you though, I do think it's also not wrong to check in with the target or staff. It's just kind of a weird situation because a lot of times these things are very grey. And it's always a risk to reach out and ask if someone is okay, and I don't think anyone is ever obligated to do that.

I am not sure if it will help for bruising, but I got a rib brace OTC at the drugstore when I had a rib fracture and it was very helpful to get through the day.

@Arkandel I think what people are trying to get at is that, just in case you've never been fat or struggled with significant or stubborn weight loss or haven't experienced losing weight and then regaining or other things like that, those comments really aren't anything that they've not heard before, usually spoken in a very condescending or dismissive way.

As I have had to say to doctors and other people in my life during times where I am heavy (I've been all over the place as an adult), "I'm FAT not STUPID thanks."

And as others have said, and doctors who specialize in the treatment of obesity can tell you, it's actually NOT that simple. So unless you want to hurt the person, I really honestly would advise not telling anyone that. It's okay. Someone else has already told them, trust me.

@saosmash I'm so excited, I'm def. going to try these!

I had to help a friend flush out a contact that had gotten folded and wedged at the corner of her eye (not sure how in the fuck she managed to do that). She was in a lot of pain. But if something can get BEHIND your eyeball then there's something a lot worse than a contact thing going on. I assume that it's technically possible since like eyeballs can pop out (it's hard to do though) but. Probably if there's something that allows something to get behind your eyeball you're not even thinking about that contact at that point. Eyeballs are so fucking gross I can't even.

Things have been kinda bluesy on game for me for a variety of reason and probably heavily influenced by RL stress. But I've found a little side project to work on that makes me really happy, I can't wait until it is polished enough to share, and I hope other folks will have fun with it too! I do not know if I can directly connect it to my PC icly which is somewhat of a bummer, but sometimes it's just fun to do things in the world.

Congrats!! I saw such a difference in Eldest's life when he took the step into full social/school transition. And if you do get pushback from a few, sometimes its good to know who you need to watch out for!

My bigs used to love making these when they were little (they could do it themselves pretty much), and this year they're going to teach my youngest. They are great (if a little messy) to make with kids, and are pretty much a variety of rice krispies treats.

Cornflake christmas tree/wreath cookies:

1/2 cup butter
4 cups mini marshmallows
1 t green food coloring, add less if using paste. Or don't and have emo trees/wreaths and blue/green poop for awhile.
1 t vanilla extract
4 cups cornflakes cereal
1 package of cinnamon red hots OR a package of mini m&ms. Or both, plus sprinkles or candy stars or edible glitter, especially if you're giving the children back to someone else at some point.

Microwave marshmallows and butter on high for 2 mins. Stir, then microwave on high for 2 minutes more. (This is with our elderly microwave so if you have a powerful or newer one might be a good idea to keep a close on it).

Add in and mix quickly the coloring and vanilla, then quickly mix in cornflakes. Drop by buttered spoonfuls onto greased wax paper or silicone baking liner in clumps and then shape quickly into wreaths or trees, add candies (we use red hots for the wreaths, m&ms for ornaments on the trees). Once cool, transfer to airtight storage container with a wax paper lining between each layer.

These cookies are great for folks that love pumpkin quickbread (though they don't keep super well because they are very moist, no matter how big of a batch I've made for potlucks or holiday parties that's not a problem because I never have any to take home after).

Oh, also you can substitute 2 mashed up bananas and the spices you usually use for banana bread in this recipe to get banana bread cookies, which are also a hit, but the pumpkin ones get requested of me a lot.

Pumpkin bread cookies

2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 t baking powerd
1 t baking soda
2 t ground cinnamon
1/2 t ground cloves
1/2 t ground nutmeg
1/2 t salt
1/2 cup softened butter
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 cup canned pumpkin puree (it's okay to use pumpkin pie filling but I'd cut back of the spice)
1 egg
1 t vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Sift/combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, spices, and salt, set aside

Cream together butter and sugars. Add pumpkin, egg, and vanilla to butter mixture, beat until creamy. Mix in dry ingredients. Drop on ungreased cookie sheet by T/tablespoonful or equivalent cookie scoop.

Bake for 15-20 minutes, cool on wire rack.

Fun mixins to the batter: mini chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, crushed nuts of your choice. I haven't tried the butterscotch chips with the banana bread version but the chocolate chips and nuts do well in those as well.

Annnd I have now received an email from my weirdo stalker now that the order of anti harassment has expired. Luckily it's to a defunct business site that I forgot to shut down completely after i closed my business so hey now that's remedied.

Fuck me. The radio station that plays at work has switched over to 24/7 christmas music. AAAAARRGGGGHHHHH.

Oh well still better than the 5 years of enya has a LMT.

There's a surprising(though not really if you think about it) lot of subgroups of folks that get sucked into bad bad stuff like this. I mean I can think of several in essence gamer geek households that have operated pretty healthfully and smoothly, I know of a few very healthy intentional communities too--but that can go really horribly really quick and many of the people who gravitate to that may not have an easy way to get out of it. Add into it that both predatory people and folks dealing with trauma can also be attracted to some of the "alternative lifestyle" intentional communities or house sharing and it can get real gross real quick.

Today I got a really sweet warm fuzzy. A regular client who has been in and out a ton dealing with a lot of power of attorney/death/change of address and other issues that we have taken turns helping get everything straightened out account and paperwork wise brought a box of godiva chocolates for us to say thank you. And another who I see every week came in after I left yesterday and left a really cute Happy Friendsgiving decoration and a very sweet note for me (it was waiting at my station this morning). For all the aggravation that working for The Man can be, as well as having to help people in distress or stress taking it out on you, I really adore many of our regulars.

For awhile, my husband worked for a UK based software company that developed real time strategy games that were used to train USMC and NATO people. Because they wanted the stats and proper names for all of their units included in this game, hubby had to do a ton of interlibrary loans and internet research around current (at that time) US military equipment and munitions being used in Afghanistan and Iraq. Also, we got regular international wires from out of the country on a month basis that was the household's only income (payment from the software company).

For about a week there was suddenly a large opaque window van with the words Crapo Plumbing services parked on our little easement/side row that we share with some neighbors. Many people commented trying to figure out who was getting work done. It was there during daylight hours for a few days, and then disappeared. That same day, suddenly our phone line went dead. We called up the telephone company, and they sent a repair person out to try and figure out what was up--and he then asked us why we had switched our telephone wiring to a different wiring setup in the house. (We bought a flipped house, where the interior had been gutted and rather shoddily as we later found out and hastily redone--so we have duplicate electrical wiring, some plumbing, AND two phone landlines to the house, but one is old and we've never used it). But something had happened to switch the landline phone from the existing wiring to the never-used one. THis is in the days when there weren't really smartphones in wide use if at all, so most people still used their landline. We asked him if it was just like a weird switch flip and he said no, it had been connected to the old hookup in the exterior box, rather than the one we had been using. Once he switched it back, we immediately got phone service back. He was really super confused about it.

We have lived in this house for 21 years now. Never had a problem before or since with the landline, and never before or since have seen that Crapo plumbing van. So I love to tease my husband now that for awhile in the early 00s some poor NSA grunt had to sit and listen to his boring ass work conference calls and emails.

LARP and 90s Cons (and to some degree 80s and 90s game store crowds) were the worst for me, as far as dealing with gross people.

And as much as sometimes there's a desire to explain that behavior away as just "socially awkward"...no.

I did meet a ton of socially awkward men at these things. All the time (maybe I got lucky but most of the women I personally met were awesome). The vast majority of even socially awkward men do NOT want to put their hands on your genitals and breasts without asking. They actually do not make comments about how they hope you'll fall asleep so they can rape you (or make comments about how they'd like to do that to another woman in the room as if including you in the joke). The vast majority of men who are socially awkward may not be able to look you in the eyes but they're also not staring at your boobs or your crotch instead. That isn't a "socially awkward" thing. And in my experience the WORST people in those groups to do that shit were never the shy, limited contact with the outside world, uber nerd on the spectrum people. They were almost exclusively the people who were capable of manipulation and other very socially savvy things who had some degree of authority at the event/in the community, and the social capital to do it with impunity. I'm really glad that while things aren't perfect, more and more people regardless of gender don't tolerate or excuse away that shit.

Though the absolute WORST place for creeper behavior I ever experienced as a teen was Civil Air Patrol state gatherings and Jr ROTC. Up to and including one of the sponsors (a 40 something active duty officer, I was 17) who leaned over in an elevator and whispered in my ear "I love that dress, you're a knockout, if I thought I could get away with it, I'd attack you right now." I was attending the military ball with his son (who was 1000 percent NOT like that at all). I think it's probably a lot different now I hope. It was the era of when those things were not considered big deals after all.

Baked should rhyme with naked and yet it does not.