Posts made by mietze

@tinuviel i look at TS typing in the same vein as meeting RP. If you are going to set up a romantic and sexual relationship for Reasons, if the parties want to scene that i do not see why they shouldn't.

Why should a staff member meet and RP with pcs about things they could just send in a bullet point mail and ftb rather than info dump in a scene (when honestly half the time people don't really react and they don't care about the other PC's reactions either so they aren't really cross-RPing). Some players might prefer it. Others like scenes like that.

I dont think most people who engage is sexual or romantic partner RP always type it out. I doubt that happens with npcs/staff pcs either.

I just don't see writing a TS scene to be any more of a waste of time than the vast majority of court scenes I've gone to on any game. Except for you don't hear quite as much people whining about how useless and boring he scene they are willingly parking their ass in is while its going on, when its TS rather than a court.

@gremlinsarevil i can understand that point of view. I just won't play on a game where I feel like there might either be pressure to TS wielded by staff, or that my only real or best avenue to plot involvement would be through sexual play.

That can and does happen on games, I've definitely experienced that pressure and seen times where there was very little open ways to get involved other than that. At the time I tolerated that because it was just kind of a thing and you weren't allowed to say anything about it because you would have been branded a TS whore for even being in a position where someone might feel they could proposition you in the first place.

So I understand and honor that it may be a walkable thing for many people. Just for me personally I am somewhat surprised to find that it really doesn't bother me on either place ive played recently.

Though for the record, the last time an NPC made any sort of sexual advance towards any of my pcs was like 10+ years ago. So I suppose it's easy for me to say these things bc I'm not being offered only that avenue for involvement. And most places I've played in the last handful of years are very strict about sexual themes being introduced into stprylines regardless of whether its a staff ST or a player one without some kind of documented consent. I understand and support those policies but don't love the shaming that can happen towards people who do feel comfortable and enjoy those elements.

I had typed out something about this yesterday but it got et.

I have thought about why I was super uncomfortable with NPC sexual/romantic play with PCs in my earlier-to-mid MUSHing years but it really doesn't bother me at all now.

I think it is because back in my "growing up" years on games, because sexual RP was so (prevelent but) looked down upon and shamed, and because at least on my formative games at that time (oWoD and Shadowrun) you really didn't have people who weren't staff running plot or scenes, it was extremely hard for people to say no safely to staff. And especially once the risky play of sexual themes entered it was even harder to say no/let's do something else or do anything that would lead to exposure for engaging in that play. Particularly if you were female.

It took me many years even after I started playing on games where sexual RP was /not/ particularly shamed to not have that discomfort. Possibly because even today in the community, you do have the slut-shaming/OMG this worthless person who only TSes, ect stuff that goes on, though fortunately not to the same extent.

But now I simply don't play on games if I don't feel the staff is safe. This is a relatively new development in my MUSHing life. While by no means have I agreed with every staff decision on the main game I play on, and yes I have not infrequently been annoyed at times with the time/energy lavished on people who just seem to return that with rudeness and entitlement and just...obnoxiousness--the truth is that I feel very safe on that game from a The Staff I Interact With Have a Strong Baseline of Trust I'm Willing to Give Them standpoint. While having any NPC played more like a PC is not a decision I personally would have made, it doesn't bother me because of my high degree of trust. It is probable on another game it would, though I am not sure it would mean I'd walk out.

So I don't really care if they're having orgies with other people, because I see sexual and/or romantic RP as legitimate stories. To be honest, I would have more fun engaging in horribad unintentionally hilarious TS than I do in many meeting/large social scenes. Pillow talk is just as likely a funnel for gossip as is blabbing about stuff at a cafe or in sparring banter. There's room for all of it, IMO.

Lost one of my students today (due to withdrawal, not like death), one that we've poured so much love and support into. It's not that I disrespect the parents' decision, but we didn't find out until right after they got picked up and I've been having some crying that I won't get to say goodbye/spend some more time with them like they could stay to the end of the week or whatever. And I worry, quite a bit. But mostly i'm going to really miss this complex, delightful, outrageous, funny, adorable little kiddo.

I'm relieved (ngl) I will no longer have to be on constant alert for needing to body block attacks on others and the like, or destruction of property and so we are less top loaded with kids that were ejected from other classrooms. But damn I'm going to miss this child and I wish I could have hugged them one last time and now I'm having a cry again. It'll be okay, just it's unexpected. it's been a hard day.

I found out today that I've been given a $1/hour raise, effective from March 1st. This is nice. I am also thinking it is partially because they may be hemorrhaging people (I'm not positive though, I only know of one person who's leaving from our campus--but I am the only assistant who's still in position from the start of the year and who has been fulfilling or exceeding their contract hours). Admittedly I'm pretty sure I'm jumping to public school employment next year (I can get more $$ and benefits for 1/3rd of the cost I'm paying now even at .5 FTE, vs. my full time right now), but I admit I'm considering staying IF I get my preferred shift and IF I get to work with the teacher that's staying that I like (and who likes me too) and IF they give my school year (not year round) contract. I will also probably get about another $1 raise at the end of the school year (it was specifically said this suprise raise wasn't part of that) My work bestie is retiring next year, otherwise it'd be a no brainer that I'd stay, and I thought that it was already a no-brainer I was going since she's not. But apparently, I might be more cheaply bought than I thought.

My child surprise is 8! Which is a bittersweet thing!

I think that a conversation about steps/ways to verbalize how one handles each stages of problematic behavior or warnings of past problematic behavior is within bounds. That is something that many runners need to wrestle with (and the practical applications can also be different from what they might champion in general too especially when it comes to longstanding current player without issues vs new unknown player).

But I think it would be good to pull back on the insults, please.

@reimesu i agree though I also think it is helpful if there is not the appearance that any mention of worry/potential problems is going to be perceived and treated as "yelling/acting crazy" against the chill dude. Informing staff about a potential issue should not cast that person in that light. I would not feel comfortable reporting any issues to someone that I thought might react like that even with evidence bc of previous experiences. I would just leave and have done so. But that does solve the problem for the gamerunner.

I think the living room example only really makes sense in its intent to certain types of people.

It makes sense to me bc pre covid I hosted a ton of game nights and other gatherings in my home. It wasn't infrequent for friends of my friends to be invited if boardgames were their jam or they were visitors from out of town. I've hosted many gatherings of just acquaintances too in my house, for church, for moms group, for other interests. I grew up in a household that was expected to do a lot of entertaining in the home formally and otherwise so it's comfortable to me (though I wouldn't call what i do entertaining per se)

However I would say that a soft majority of my friends and loved ones would never host anyone outside of a close personal friends. There's nothing wrong with that, but of course that's going to change the feeling of "in my living room".

@derp All of the times discord based discussions have been referenced, that I can remember, there has always been an on game component. Along with a lot of shouting down and distraction based on the fact that there was any off game connection at all.

I also think it is apt and also telling that in the mcdonald's example, the person with the history of being abused is "yelling" and acting crazy (instead of just turning around and leaving, which is the much more likely response on a game) while the person who is stated to be the abuser is "chill". How many times do we see that play out on games, where the "chill" dude just is so awesome, these crazy jealous chicks are always trying to get him in trouble. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but there's a cultural thing here that I think makes it super difficult for people to report abusive behavior (on or off site) that we all kind of struggle with.

So I think how these things are handled and talked about really matters a lot. If there is shaming about off game contact that can set up a situation where it makes it hard for people to report in game stuff. Sometimes unintentionally that may be the message that people get with how things are framed.

I'm not expecting anything of anyone. Just making the observation that if someone is abusive towards another player I've never seen them contain it solely to off game things when they're targeting someone on game.

I have, however, seen many times people immediately dismiss people reporting abusive issues on the whole, if part of it did occur off game, overeager to trample them over "well if you didn't share your info that wouldn't have happened" and ignoring the on-game abuse.

So intellectually and pragmatically I understand this concern. "I don't want to police Discord and ban someone over their behavior there when it's not on my game."

But I'll be honest. When I think on how many times I've had to take disciplinary action against someone either as a staff or in filing something against them as a player--while indeed sometimes there has been stuff outside of the game (not discord yet, but all the other crap we used in the dark ages), it NEVER, EVER didn't have an on game component either.

So I'm not sure that's actually a worry. If someone is an abusive shitbag on discord, they're not NOT going to be an abusive shitbag on the game, eventually.

@misadventure I don't understand what you mean by strong terminology.

Because games are so different culturally most of the time, I favor simple but clear terminology. So rather than fast-paced/slow-paced, for example, it would help me the most as a player if the GM says "please respond to all GM poses within 15 minutes or page me if you have a question or need more time during that time. If I don't receive your response by that time, then you'll be skipped that round; people who skip x amount of rounds may be dropped from the scene". To me that would probably be "fast paced" but to another person that would probably be mind numbingly slow. Having specific details rather than terminology helps me know what to expect.

I have some cognitive deficits that aren't super noticeable in on the fly RP (I don't think) but can be amplified in STed scenes (which tend to be time-limited/have more moving parts such as needing to figure out actions/rolls/ect not just RP).

Therefore I really appreciate when GMs lay out their expectations at the start, rather than assume that I will figure out what they expect while we're doing it. Sometimes I can, but it might come slowly and that's just frustrating to everyone (and I don't like annoying people).

I really super appreciate time limits, especially those that are announced in advance, because it helps me know if/how long I need to set a timer for. It's also helpful if they give clear and concise directions (Page me your actions now, you have Y minutes to do so. Hold poses until you see X. Now we are in free play/now we aren't.) That type of thing. My cognitive issues are not helped by stress, so knowing what's expected helps me just do better in general. And knowing timing up front means that I can employ tools like setting timers and the like that help it be so that people in the scene/hopefully the GM too just don't notice it at all.

When I GM for people I try to be up front with all those things too. I do set time limits for responses. I do move on after my set time limit. I try to put a hard time block around a scene and let people know. Sometimes people have become upset with me (Especially the first time that they're passed over for their action because they weren't responding to me in time, or if we start on time and I'd not heard from them so I didn't hold the scene start). But I find when I don't have clear boundaries and follow them that more people don't have a good time because it becomes too long/by the time we get to resolution it's too late for people to pay attention/people get annoyed and bored waiting on stragglers, ect.)

But in the sense of the more general expectations (personal tailoring, ect), that's often so dependent on the individual scene/chemistry of the people involved that I usually don't feel comfortable laying that out like a law. Instead I often put out my goals for the scene (First/Last step to resolve a specific crisis; bringing a group of specific PCs together to help them mesh for a story development, exploration, honoring a specific person's request, ect) out there before people sign up so that we're on the general same page. And I always say my time limits and preferred procedure up front (and expect to do some reminders for the first part of things).

I think the most out of the blue comments about the beauty of my PC's PB I've ever received was for Maren@Arx. Even though absolutely no one who made those comments was going to hit on her. I agree that the model is stunning, and think that probably people felt more able to comment on that in a positive way because it was not going to be construed as saying that they wanted to bang her.

And I want to add on to Roz comment too, that if your "friends" are labelling people as "whores" for having a pretty PB and especially if they know you like pretty PBs too, I'm really sorry. That's really not a friendly thing, and I'm sure you deserve more supportive play partners than that.

It has finally happened, we have a positive case of covid in my class that we know about. So that means everyone gets tested every day tomorrow and Friday (next week is midwinter break). Literally half the class is not coming tomorrow. Which is simultaneously less stressful while also still being highly stressful because...you know, covid in a situation where there's high contact.

Sorry to everyone I am struggling to keep up with, these last couple of weeks have been crazy stressful at work and blargh.

I really hope I'm not going to be sick over my break.

Oh sorry. Warning in advance that I am not really a video/computer game player at heart so I just like to kill things and mash buttons and like pick berries and shit. so lore and deep strategy and stuff is not something my brain holds. (This is also why sunny has to yell in all caps when she needs me to actually pay attention to something).

But anyway, I am Beatrix Slaughter @ Ultros. And yes she is a giant bunny lady.

I have started playing this game as an (extreme) novice and (very) casual player. I have a toon on Ultros if anyone wants to say hi/is just starting out as a noob too/wants to play low levels again. @Sunny says it's fun.

If you do say hi type in all caps the first time because uh...in my old age it's hard for me to attend to running/mashing abilities/and reading chat at the same time, so expect a delay in response time.

I got totally nailed by one of my class kids today, as I was putting myself between her and another child as well as her being able to immediately throw herself backwards onto the floor, and man my collarbone super super hurts. I don't think it's actually an injury injury but...sigh.

I'm a freak who in general enjoys being middle aged most of the time tbh. And I'm really looking forward to my 50s and 60s though I'm not there yet.

But im annoyed by 2 things that I'm pretty sure are age related.

One, my night driving vision is utterly shit which is a big bummer.

But also I'm wondering how the fuck did i multitask in mmos so effortlessly when I was in my 20s and early 30s? These days I can do things in my mmo. Or I can read chat in it. Or I can listen. Trying to do 2 or 3 of those things is not something my brain can handle anymore.