Usually when I have heard pansexual being used by people actually think of themselves as that, it means that they are open attracted to all forms of gender identity (not just male/female) and genitalia.
I think a significant number of people who prefer the term bi for themselves would fall into that category, but not all. (Not everyone is attracted to nonbinary or trans people, who is attracted to cis men and women).
I would be curious as to how many women feel that way. I do too (less so now that i'm old) but always chalked it up to being raised fundamentalist with impossible and rather gross standards. I liked to read. I didn't like makeup. I questioned things. I was told I had a rebellious spirit and unless I curbed it no real man would want me. I didn't really like dresses or skirts, even though it meant I was inviting rape, as was having any friendships with a male, wanting to do male things, ect. (I wonder why I wasn't particularly THRILLED at the prospect of being a woman given how lovely a picture of what Captivating Womanhood was painted for me as something to aspire to? Hmmmm.)
But I think that maybe this is common, if not quite as gross and spiritually rapey, in non-culty environments too? I know a lot of women from a wide variety of backgrounds who I now can think back and recall them saying or apologizing for not being a "real woman" or feeling like they related to anything as a woman. Even though I am pretty sure any "feeling" that a woman has IS by definition how a woman feels! Intellectually I know that. I do wonder how common the feeling that one isn't "typical woman" or "can't do female right" is? I suspect it is pretty high. Even in people who most people would identify as girly girl.
Amusingly the most constantly talking about who they wanted to fuck and how much they thought of it were a bunch of mormon moms that I met when my older kids were in elementary school. Like I had been in poly and sex club groups in my life and never had anyone talk about what kind of edible underwear was the best tasting, or if crotchless panties caused chafing if you wore jeans so should you just wear skirts when you wear them or what. Until I hung out with them because our 1st graders were all friends.
I really do not shock easily but it totally blew me away. But I bet some of you KNOW what is coming next.
Yes, the MLM party invite. Before DoTerra, Young Living or LuLa, there was a sexy lingerie and toy MLM that was sweeping the community here. Fucking Hilarious. No that wasnt the name of it but it should have been!
As far as OOC orientation, I don't know. It's not a topic that I have a lot of conversation via pages or ooc comments about. I do think that most people assume I am straight rather than bi because I've been married for 18 years to the same dude and have 4 kids, and pretty much am the epitome of fat middle aged mostly-housewife who has run businesses "on the side" (at least they've never been MLMs?). I don't fault them for that, how could I? It's the life I live for the most part. Now if they had met me before this marriage they would be surprised, since I tended to date mostly but not all women, and ran in women-centric circles. Some of my friends who only knew me from that time were surprised when I a) got married for a second time and b) it was to a man. But they were much more "whatever" about it than I think most people who have met/known me casually through school or community orgs now would be.
I have not met too many male or female players who have identified as bi. I am not sure if it's because they fear harassment or questions (It is always a concern, I think, since you usually can't really be sure of another player's gender and virtually everyone I know who HAS opened up has expressed fear about harassment from straight men because of past experience.).
I have had a few weird experiences on my knight, who is bi. Lots of assumptions, lots of very weird shit about why she would seek to marry a dude (why would anyone be confused by this with hereditary nobility and marriage that usually doesn't have anything to do with love when one is part of it). Or people that were weird about her flirting with both genders, especially when it was subtle (oddly haven't experienced anyone commenting when it's overt, maybe because it's assumed to be joking). I have heard the same from other players of PCs who are also similarly open without smashing people's faces into it about being bi.
I have had PCs of all kinds of orientations and arrangements, but usually only feel safe playing that out with other players who present or whom I know are female. Just because virtually every time I have done that with a male player it devolves into threesome fantasies (not saying those are bad either, I've had characters that would totally be down!) or their determination that their PCs penis would totally "cure" my PC's orientation even though TS was already off the table. I'm not saying that female players can't be sexually harassing asshats (they can be, totally). But I have found it to happen far less with other women. And when I think about people that I have enjoyed RPing about the tension of these various issues (what happens if you pretty much are always going to fall in love with a woman, but there's a demand that you stay within very strict complementarian or opposite gendered relationships ), most have been other women who I virtually NEVER have to worry about invasive questions, man-oriented porn-fueled stereotypes, ect.
One of the things I LOVE about Arx is the potential to explore all kinds of those things (and have no one CORRECT way) in a culture that is for the most part free of gender and orientation bias. I think a lot of people assume it is flat/boring/oh yay everyone does what they want--but if you look at the expectations and theme closely, no--there's a lot of sacrifices that some people have to make, or think about, consequences to choices, ect. It's a very awesome opportunity to explore things THAT way (duty, politics, ect) while removing the usual focus of who possesses/likes what genitals.
I am so sorry for your loss, Gany. Lots of love going out to you and the family. 
I lost my sweet dumb old man a few years ago (I thought he was the stupidest cat I ever met, but our current male cat is shockingly even dumber.) He was a very pretty tuxedo boy who was the most cuddly cat I've ever had. He loved children and happily let toddlers maul him, babies chew on his tail, and preschoolers dress him in doll clothes. He started shedding tons of weight when he was almost 16. The last year of his life I made all of his food, fed him baby food, laced everything with cat-ensure, hand fed him, whatever it took, as long as he seemed happy and sociable. He took a snap turn for the worst after we had already been talking about putting him down when it was clear he wasnt enjoying life anymore and I ended up rushing him to the emergency vet in a padded baby Bjorn strapped to my chest (I didnt want him to die alone in the carrier. Probably not the best driving decision I've made). At least I got to hold him and cuddle him while he was put down, the techs were wonderful and were able to do everything with him in my arms.
It was a relief to have him pass and end his pain. I hope that through the sadness you and your partner get to feel a little of that peace.
I have been lucky enough to enjoy a lot of very deeply satisfying and vibrant historical setting RP (including a lot of the not so nice aspects and tensions). But I will be honest. Whether that was in flashbacks OR in a historical themed mush, it's always been with a smaller playgroup or even one other person who enjoyed engaging on that level and had a similar desire for the level of "accuracy" or research or whatnot. I have NEVER found that "in general" on a historical place. I think that is okay, and if you want to play on a historical place like it or not you are going to have to be able to tolerate some deviation from your desired levels of things. Just like if you want to be super involved in a sphere or faction PROBABLY (not always) you're going to have to engage in specialized BaRP that may be amazing some of the time, fun hopefully a majority of the time, and downright painful much of the time as you rub elbows with people you don't know/aren't your preferred type. But if you are able to be tolerant during the BaRP esp. if you are new and without contacts, eventually you'll find hopefully 1 or 2 people that you can engage more fully with.
Well, I can tell you, at a certain point those women are going to suddenly find that the office is WAY TOO FUCKING HOT. Ask me how I know. Though immediately afterwards it's going to be even more too fucking cold. 
And if you are partnered to a massage therapist, you get the burning hot shower and then at the end a sudden throw down to ice cold! (Free hydrotherapy! Makes you feel like a million bucks and instantly warm once you get out. Try it sometime!) I learned to warn him in advance about the cold water part.
Eta: no I dont recommend instagramming your showers I swear.
@deathbird it was not hilarious to my 17 year old to hear two men less than 2 feet away from him break out into a profanity laden screaming and threatening shoving match, no. The vibes were not good. I am pretty easy going with crazy ass people due to the jobs I've had but I was just about to dial 911 myself.
Nice. Went to a college financial planning/funding seminar with eldest (who is a junior in HS) and there was literally almost a brawl between two parents at it.
@peasoupling I love historical setting games, but that is one of my least favorite parts about it, the competitive masturbation on channel about who is more educated about what esoteric historical accuracy that like hasn't even come up in the scope of the game, and how everyone else is an idiot for not knowing everything like the masturbator does.
It is also not as if someone's behaviors on one game cannot differ from another either. There are people that need to be removed/have been removed from a game (or several) that for whatever reason manage to control that behavior on other games. Too often we look at the person as if them being asked to leave a game or to knock off certain behaviors means they have to be decided to be the worst person, instead of just taking strides to correct or eliminate undesirable /behavior/.
You do not have to be a bad person to be told to stop the behavior. You do not have to be a bad person to be a bad fit for a game.
My bio mom wrote back to me, sent pictures, would like to continue getting to know each other. Obviously more baggage there but she says she is happy and always hoped that I would find her if I wanted to.
So i am pretty overwhelmed yet again. It is good. But overwhelming.
Whole family involved stomach flu really sucks. At least youngest and I are about 12+ hours ahead of everyone else so we have enough bathrooms. Also 100 percent recovered 5 year old when you still fell like shit run over by a semi also sucks.
What makes a complaint resolver trustworthy to me is pretty much in line with what Gany outlines, though I have to say that the only headwizzen that I've ever felt 100 percent comfortable with approaching about a problem of that nature would be Shav, Apos, and Faraday. (Though Apos and Faraday are theoretical, Shav is not, as I did have to seek her help with a very distressing and embarrassing situation though no rules were broken).
There are a few commonalities I see FOR ME that increase my comfort level:
they are invested in the game heavily but do not appear to play personal PCs.
they do not have screaming tantrums nor do they make snide remarks or crusading remarks on pub channels on the game.
I do not know them on a personal level, just a "professional" one.
It's possible that maybe they all throw fits and shade in private that would make TR's staff chan look tame. But they managed/manage to keep that shit zipped up so far as I know. I find it really hard to trust someone once they have gone on a channel tirade or who i know expresses their anxiety or stress in belligerence for public consumption, whether that's an ooc channel or a board post.
There are many people I like in the community who I think are very nice people, but the trust will never be there because of their temper/snarkiness.
It isnt fair I dont think, nor do I claim to speak for the One True Way or anything. But I do think personal behavior in public and how someone handles conflict themselves is a huge measure of what determines my comfort level with them for something major or potentially sensitive.
I adore many people that I honestly would not share a big hairy deal situation with because of the risk involved. I think that's why for me I gravitate towards those I respect but am not close to, so it will not hurt if they disagree, I do not get lazy about explaining things calmly and answering questions, and I do not have to worry about damaging a personal relationship.