Posts made by mietze

I have spoken to/texted back and forth with my bio dad, his wife, and his sisters (whom he is super close to) and one of my brothers daily since this came out. (We have decided to roll things out slowly elsewhere, but they are so excited). Imagine a huge extended cajun family that is now over the moon. I am happy, it is a little overwhelming getting love bombed, and I know this is a shock reaction from everyone. But I feel like I am dreaming because I never expected this kind of reception. I do not think it will be the same with bio mom and her family because that is a lot more painful on their end no matter what.

This has made me crash out early and need to take a lot of naps which is totally weird. It is like my body just shuts down for a bit.

Also I got a call from one of the places I have been sending out resumes and now I have an interview on monday!

I feel like a zombie though. Now how to log in to places and say hi, I will be, but I am so fucking overwhelmed by RL right now I fall asleep at 8 PM and also nap when I used to hop online. I hope this will ease off soon.

I heard back from him, and it is very clear that he is super excited and happy and probably a little in shock too, as he had no clue I existed. I will admit that I had never considered that possibility, even though I know in the era of 1950s-70s adoption there was no such thing as requirements for birthfather consent or notification in many areas. (in fact that was not really uniform until closer to the 90s). We have been messaging back and forth, apparently his kids and wife and the nieces and nephews that noticed me on the site are all extremely excited too, though we will see how things settle once the shock starts to wear off. But he seems happy, stable, ect, so that is a good thing. And I have the name of my biological mother now too. So back to the waiting for rejection game there. I have been walking around for the last 6 hours or so in a state of shock. Almost 30 years of combing through microfiche, looking at records, ect...and it's a DNA place that finds it--more than 3 years after I took the test. I am so thankful, given that he had no clue, that it wasn't a bad situation for him.

@saosmash agreed. Or you can be in a situation where you lash out at people who care about you and damage that relationship to the point that they cannot be there for you. I agree that friendships and trust is important and precious. But I have also had people abuse that and use that to the point that was irrevocably broken. Though I am pretty sure almost everyone in mushdom has had that happen at least once.

I love my four year old. He was a fucking huge surprise, but he has enriched my life and that of everyone in our immediate family (even his sibs say so) in so many ways.

However--the child is like a parrot. Constant noise (it is happy), singing, sound effects, and repeating stuff (not like someone who has autism, but more like--we are very much into the poop/pee/fart talk stage of life right now in a way that my older three never were, but judging from the playground after preschool he's not the only one), activity, ect.

And when one of my twins plays/records his gaming he screams quite literally now and then like a chimpanzee.

I have been cooped up in this house with this for nearly 2 weeks because of snowed in-ness--and now their mid-winter break begins. It is a safari at my house, and I am ready to run away.

I have never ever flossed ever. And only brush my teeth twice a day. Sometimes I use listerine if I remember. But i know people that brush after every meal, floss twice a day, use special rinses and stuff and they still have issues. I hate that people judge them like they don't have good oral hygiene when their mouth would probably pass a health department sanitation inspection they are so careful.

I have great enamel as does my hubby. Apparently all three teens have also inherited this (though I worry a little. I got great and regular dental care until I was 18 through the government/military, hubby did because his dad is a dentist. My kids we have paid for their cars out of pocket but there have been some delays/skips because of cost. There hasn't been an issue though yet).

My diet consists of a lot of "bad" along with the good, hubby the same thing. I am in my mid 40s, he is in his 50s and each of us has had one superficial cavity in our 20s.

Meanwhile my mother who also benefitted from govt/military dental care from her childhood until now cannot look at a hard candy without getting a cavity and has had a lot of teeth pullef/replaced with implants and the like at this point due to rotten teeth.

I am pretty sure most people operate between those two extremes but it really can just be about genetic strength of your enamel.

I don't know if this is a love.

So the person I was 90 percent sure was my bio dad based on some research I've been doing (and then cross referencing with some bio cousins that I had found via Ancestry DNA and 23andme)...maybe he got a kit for Christmas or something or they told him about this link, because he just popped up on my Ancestry relatives list--as a parent/child match.

I thought I was neutral. And I am happy to know I was correct. I know that I'm okay with contact or no contact, having lived my whole life in that no man's land and having a shitty upbringing means I know that families are complicated.

But at the same time, I am so scared of rejection or not being wanted that my stomach has been in my throat since I saw it tonight. You'd think after hearing my whole damn life from the parents that raised me that I was defective garbage who couldn't do the one thing I was supposed to do (make them happy) right, and that I'm a disappointment in all ways except for having a lot of kids they can display in pictures and say they're grandparents just like their friends are...that I would not give a shit.

But I do. I wish I didn't. At the same time though, I'm glad I have a name and know a little more background at least about that half of my heritage. It's better than nothing. But this waiting for rejection really kind of blows.

I will say though that the sum of things is that I am grateful to these dna matchup companies, even though yeah I do understand they scare many people and there's questions. It has been nice (Even before I discovered close bio relatives, for years it was just like really super distant ones) to know just a little wee part of my background with more security than "non identifying' information from the agency that has full legal authority to lie (some have, but mine didn't). Maybe this belongs in irks, but it's not. I'm profoundly grateful to have some information now that I couldn't find in nearly 30 years of off and on searching.

@Quinn I made my ob actually screech when I wiggled my toes at her right before she was going to start the surgery. (I had to think about doing it, but didnt feel anything at all otherwise.) I've never seen an anesthesiologist jump so fast off that little barstool thing they sit on so fast. It was 5 am, I was finally free of pain and feeling after 20 hours of unmedicated back labor, a girl's gotta have some fun right?

@Ominous Maybe you could set it up as a series of encounters and roll for complications/puzzles x amount of times per day of travel. Finding shelter (putting it up in a sudden storm), running into bandits/suspicious townsfolk, coming across an injured, sick, or dead person that needs to be helped or investigated, ummm hunting, having a pack horse run off, ect. Or finding a cache of something, spotting a new plant, ect.

The encounters you put in your roladex for that group can be customized to their interests/strengths.

@Sparks We have 2 feet in my backyard total, and that was before this afternoon's snow. It's truly cracray. Now I'm listening to huge tree limbs crack and fall with the weight of simultaneously falling and melting snow. Still have power though!

FFS Seattle. I have about 2 feet of snow in parts of my backyard. And still more is coming down.

It's just filling out web forms and sending them out into the ether, largely never to be responded to. So why does filling out job apps feel so exhausting.

@Tinuviel Yep! I think most of the ones that I have heard about do require that.

Yep, I was thinking of firan/generational stuff.

Though I will take 1000 pregnancy code over one crazy ass player springing "Hey I'm pregnant and unilaterally decide that YOU are the father!" on someone without it. (And lest people think I'm bagging on the women, most of the players that I've seen do this are people who say they are men, but are playing female PCs, with a few exceptions).

Even on games where it is common to RP being pregnant/having children/ect or even expected, honestly if there is another active PC involved, I think a discussion should happen with veto power on either side to it happening, barring a front-end coded thing so that the people know they're playing the lottery.

I don't know why forcing people into pregnancy RP (for male or female PCs) squicks me out so much, but I find RPing out violence and icly nonconsensual sexual scenes to be less squicky than that.

Ew. Honestly I think when two pcs are involved and there isnt code (meaning you know you are consenting to to possibility before you decide to type it) pregnancy should be OOC consent only by both players.

Probably because of how much distress I saw caused on games in the 90s. All changeling games, now that I think about it.

I mean big weddings are fine too I have some friends that loved them or at least didnt seen to mind. I wish that people weren't such assholes about them to their own family members. Have what you want at your wedding, shut up and smile when its not your wedding, it shouldn't be that hard.

My first wedding was huge, and most of the attendees were friends of my parents and shit (this is a thing sometimes I guess) and my huge ass extended family. My parents had saved up a good chunk of change specifically in a wedding account (Because it's very important to marry of your daughter and show it off). It was pretty, and all, but I felt panic pretty much all day long and my bff and her hubby had their car full of gas and a suitcase for me in case I just wanted to bail. Wish I had, they could see something I couldn't.

My second wedding and the marriage that has lasted now for almost 20 years we just picked a weekend, went to vegas, told everyone the dates (it was cheap to fly in to vegas from anywhere back in the day), went to a silly little wedding chapel (the pastor's speech was better than the one given by the guy I'd spent like 6 months in pastoral premarital counseling with in my first marriage) that took 15 minutes, and then took everyone out to dinner at a casino restaurant. I think the grand total for everything including hotel and airfare for us was like $500. My favorite wedding!

So I am a fan of keeping things small for ceremony if it's what you want, if you want to have a big party for a larger group later do it, or if you just want to chill afterwards it's fine. I have never met anyone who regretted doing less and having something comfortable vs. agreeing to getting pushed into more.

@deathbird aww, thank you!

@Sunny well they wont answer me, so ask them, and if you get an answer tell me!

MSB is the gift that keeps on giving when it comes to tormenting my teenage children. Since they were home all day, I finally had the opportunity to interrupt their game of Persona that they were playing/spectating by asking through the doorway "So what does poopleg mean anyway?" to which they all responded "Oh my GOD!!!" and they scattered to their rooms and slammed the doors.

I still don't know what poopleg means.