Best posts made by reimesu

Pugmire/Monarchs of Mau.

@mietze Just so you know, all your Friendsgiving peeps will be thinking about your household (and you) on that day and missing you mightily. You are intensely loved.

@wizz No, that's coming from experience. Shit, Dev had to convince ME that my particular joyous bundle of creep was, in fact, being predatory. Because that guy weaponized stupidity like it's a damn art form. But because I communicated, it got sorted and fast.

Wanting evidence isn't a crime. It should be the baseline for decency. So should communication. If someone came to me as a staffer and said, "I'm being stalked," the FIRST reaction should be, "Ok, how do you know, what's going on? Talk to me." Next comes "How do you want to handle this? What is it you're looking for."

That "how do you know?" is the request for evidence. The answer could be "They have the same handle as on the other game, I've been having an issue on the other game, I'd like to make it known so that if it happens here, something is done about it." Or maybe "Would you please talk to the headwiz on Other Game and corroborate this?" Or any number of other responses. It's not always logs, it's some form of backing up your assertion.

Now you explain to me how that lacks empathy and is arrogant. Go on. I'm listening.

Look. I loved that stupid supplement, back in the days before I realized how very racist it was. And even if "everyone's a little bit racist", that's no excuse for people not to work on it.

GRRM got his start in fantasy during a time period where people weren't taught how many ethnicities were roaming around Europe. The place was never as white as people were taught it was. Thus, the sheer whiteness of fantasy. Do I think he's racist? No, I think he never thought about it.

However, that doesn't apply on a current day game. Claiming one is staying true to "the source material" when the author has said "Hey, that's actually a good idea" is still something to be called out. Out and out saying that people of color will not be included because the game runner doesn't want to is fucking racist. It's 2022 and there's no goddamned excuse for it.

@glitch My point is that this place doesn't exactly have a good reputation. Gany's trying to make it better but people walking because they're upset that they can't make personal attacks doesn't exactly make people look good, either. Also, I am not a pinky, right now, I am giant upraised middle finger.

I deleted my comment, btw, (to everyone, not just at glitch) because I am having a hell of a rough time IRL and decided I might have been overdoing it. I'm not exactly even-minded just now. My original comment is going to remain deleted.

If anyone remembers the woman who played Catriona Dunlin on The Reach, pour one out for her. She passed on Monday after a ten year battle with cancer.

Her memory is a blessing.

I don't dread checking the place and seeing how mean people are going to get today. It's a relief.

I miss Jian. (Jacey here.)

Mietze, you should have told us. We'd have brought you chocolate and fruit. Anyway, good, you're one of the most fair people I've met. Ever.

@jennkryst It was the music as they were leaving Caladan that did it for me. Holy cow.

Having seen @Devrex and @Derp in action, what I'll say here is this: if @Sunny came to them and said "My abusive ex-husband is on the game," well, no action was actually requested there. Ok, yeah. He's a piece of shit, but that's just information being offered.

If Sunny came to them and said, "My abusive ex-husband is on the game, these are the behaviors he's already exhibiting, I'm asking for a DNC, and making sure you guys know it," that's different. Because it gives them something to work with. And they'll take action.

I mean, @mietze is right: if someone's abusive on Discord, they'll be abusive on the game, too. But you can block someone on Discord. And then they'll HAVE to be abusive on the game, there's no other outlet and then they get their shitty asses booted but good.

But being proactive about booting someone for being a reported piece of shit can backfire hugely, if you find out the person doing the reporting is actually a manipulative jerk. I've seen both scenarios, where the person reporting is the jerk and the person being reported is the jerk. (I've lived through too many games with VASpider on.) Having a plan to offer and something to back your words up is not an unreasonable wish.

(Editing to add, no, @Sunny, I promise, I'm not accusing you of anything. It was an example, that's all.)

@Ghost Ok, that's fair. I mistook what you wrote, then, thank you for clarifying! I admit, Spider's a hot-button issue for me.

@meg said in GMs and Players:

yeah, good job pointing out that it was an assumption when krmbm already said 'i assume'. like a label maker!

i would assume if it works differently, someone could correct krmbm.

How kind of you to completely miss my point. Please keep in mind that this is Mildly Constructive. If you want to get snarky, please take it to the Hog Pit where I can tell you exactly what I'm thinking.

On the other hand, krmbm did, in fact, ask the question. Thanks, @krmbm!

@simplications I think the only way we can really keep going to protect people from bad actors is to a) establish what the bad behaviors that we want to see people protected from are, b) establish how much responsibility on any given game the player base needs to do in order to protect themselves, and c) have places where we can keep talking, honestly, and hopefully kindly.

I know people are going to be up in arms about my point b) but the thing is this: there's nothing wrong with staff saying, "I only have so many spoons, there are steps you need to take, too." At the very least, how about a blanket "I am not comfortable around this person and am requesting a No-Contact Order?" Mail it to the person and CC staff so there's some kind of...paper trail, and then if the person who's going no contact gets paged or @mailed again, there's that request already in place. (It's a theory, a suggestion, not a "my will be done," btw. A jumping off point for discussion.) I mean, at least on Ares, there's multiple easy ways to report a page convo or a scene to staff. Otherwise, there's screenshots and logs.

@farfalla Ok, but you're also misrepresenting.

Faraday and Derp were making the point of "ask for a DNC, either directly or through staff. The first time it's violated, we can remove them immediately." They're not asking for a 'three strikes, you're out' rule. They're not even asking for "give me logs". And it can be done in such a way that the stalkee never needs to contact the stalker.

How is this a bad thing?

@Cobalt I haven't played on any of your games in years. Not worth my time to get attached to a character when you're going to close it in three months anyway.

@krmbm If the random stranger on the internet doesn't also deserve the protection you afford your friends, then this isn't actually people being principled, it's people playing favorites. And again, not interested in that game. Been on it before. It's not a lot of fun and doesn't protect the people in the outer circles.

Nothing's been explained to my satisfaction, clearly, and I think that there's been an AWFUL lot of favoritism and bullying masquerading as 'social justice' today. Bullying is bullying, whether you do it in the name of social justice or protecting your friends and no one else or whatever other reason you want to tag it with.

I'm aware this won't change anyone's mind, but that's ok. I have my own takeaway on it.

There's one guy who was on The Network and then on another game that I was on who would vault over boundaries. The second time he did it, he did it while not using his normal Ares handle so I wouldn't know it was him. (I figured it out on my own, anyway. He had very noticeable patterns.)

To quote a friend, "Consent that you have to lie to get isn't consent." Frankly, I don't understand how anyone can leave MUshing due to bad experiences and distrust and then complain that those of us who stayed want to be able to know who we associate with on a regular basis. That's a pretty big disconnect, thinking that it's OOC drama to ask for that information. It's not, it's called informed consent. If someone is on the receiving end of the question, that's not OOC drama, it's someone being self-protective due to past incidents, or actively trying to avoid OOC drama.

Hell, I know there's a number of people who don't want to RP with me. I do my best to respect that. I'm an acquired taste and I get that I'm not everyone's cuppa.

I love that Ares has the ability to do asynch RP. (I mean, whether I like the "takes freaking forever and a month" scenes or not, some people love that so the fact that the capability is there makes me happy.)

But I also very much like the way XP is handled, it keeps people from advancing too fast and you can't rack up 100 XP and then spend it all at once.

I also like the ease of making a cha...ok, if I start talking about everything I like on Ares, we're gonna be here all day.

I'm not on any Ares games right now and while I have now discovered the joys of BeipMu, I am missing the Ares interface like whoa.

Netflix's Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance. I'm only partway through the first episode and I am COMPLETELY bowled over. The production values are flawless and I am loving the characterizations, it's just...wow.