@aria So I am someone who also stresses over whether or not things are going good enough that I have a chance at the job I've applied for. But then, I also remember... people who aren't interested in you professionally don't tend to reach back out. Or at best, they'll send you a form letter/email/voicemail stating that they thank you for your time but they've decided to move in a different direction or are pursuing other candidates. So I would take any sort of personal response as a good sign.
@faraday I got in so much trouble for reading in class in high school. I spent many a Saturday in the auditorium, or in in-school suspension, because I would constantly be reading novels. Or skipping class altogether. I had senior friends that could get out earlier than I could. Their leaving coincided with one of my most hated classes (SO REPETITIVE OMG), so I would duck out with them and then find out all the cool stuff they were doing in THEIR classes. I learned to play 9-ball in high school so well I took third place in a local competition... one for adults. I learned to ride horses. I played violin, viola, trombone, accoustic guitar, I was in the choir. And each time. EVERY TIME. I would quit about 6 months in because I kept having to wait for everyone else to GET IT. I ran track briefly, and even then I stopped because... man, that circle, though.
I've learned to paint minis, crochet, needlepoint, basic weaving techniques. I build my own pc's, I have coloring books all over the place, I chew through puzzles in a matter of hours. Its... its bad. I keep struggling to find something that will engage. Now I know what it means to be a jack-of-all-trades. I don't have the patience for mastery, so I learn how to do everything.
I got my hair cut a few weeks ago after a year of no haircuts. My undercut pixie is BACK and a deep blue that makes me happy.
Thank you all for the response. This thread has really helped me realize that alot of the baggage I carried through the years was undeserved and unearned.
@wretched said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
This. This hit me SO HARD. I rarely think about high school, it wasn't a great time for me. I overloaded on academics to get out of gym. It was incomprehensible to me that I would be graded on how fast I could run or how many situps I could do.
And then I would get into class. I would dazzle teachers with my comprehension and how quickly I picked up on source material, my notes in-class were so thorough and well-done that I had teachers use them as grading standards. I would ace quizzes with flying colors.
But I also never turned in any homework. And once we got past the learning to the repetition my scores started falling. And projects where we had to go over things multiple times were half-assed and often unfinished. And my year end tests were usually middling to bad.
And nobody could figure it out. I was called lazy. I was called unmotivated. I was told I had so much potential. And they didn't understand why I couldn't follow through. And I couldn't make them understand. My mother never understood why I went through hobbies like they were passing fads. She paid money just to have me up and quit it a few months down the road. We used to argue all the time over it.
I finally figured it out. I hated waiting for other people to catch up. I hated having to do things half a dozen times when I was ready to move on. I couldn't concentrate because someone across the room was talking and I could hear it. I couldn't focus because in my head it had already been done to death. I wanted new. I wanted different. I wanted to be DONEOMGWHYCAN'TWEJUSTMOVEOOOOOOOOOOONALREADY?!
I was called a slacker. An underachiever. A quitter. Everyone was forever disappointed in me for not living up to my potential. And they never stopped, once, to think that I was waiting for them to catch up. That experience has shaped a lot of my adult life and its only now as I get into my 40s that I can even really talk about it and not have people roll their eyes or think I'm just making shit up to cover my laziness.
I have bounced from job to job to job to decades because the repetition KILLS ME. I get so bored doing the same thing over and over and over again. And I'm afraid, because my current job is nothing but repetition, and I've just passed the one year mark, and I'm feeling antsy. Its a great company, I could get really far... except I don't know if I'll last long enough to get there.
@macha I am compulsively checking my phone, my Secret Santa gifts for my co-worker are being delivered today.
@macha It gets rough, especially around the holidays. I want to buy. Not for me, for the people around me. Because seeing them get that gift is a huge 'I did good'. Not just the dopamine, but as someone who struggles with interpersonal relationships, the response itself. So having to try and keep from overextending my 'play' money to get that gets really nasty. Instead of 'well I should get a gift for X, Y, and Z because they have been my friends for five years and have helped me through SO MUCH' it ends up 'well I just got gifts for J, I, T, and F... and I got two gifts for X, Y, and Z because...' and then I realize that I have like... no money left to pick up ice cream or get a pizza, etc.
So no. There is nothing wrong with you. Its a very real, very difficult to manage, thing.
@tinuviel I have no idea, but either way, the lack of communication is ridiculous. If there are rules that they need to follow and the schedule I've given them doesn't fit within it, someone needs to say something so I can try to work out a compromise. I can't work something out when they won't communicate with me.
@tinuviel That's my issue. The insistence for same-day response for everything. I get that a lot of people are home right now, or not working. But UGH. I'm still working and I need that to be respected.
@tinuviel Given that I work from 8am to 7pm, yes. Given too, that I have clearly stated that I can be reached at any point on day X has resulted in exactly 0 attempts to reach me on that day? Yes, I still reserve that right. I have clearly communicated when and how to reach me. If they cannot be bothered on the ONE DAY that I am available, then do not be surprised when I do not respond to their otherwise constant requests for 'confirmation' that I have received their 'attempts to contact'. If there is a rule that they cannot contact on the one day that I am available, then THAT needs to be clearly communicated to me, not ignored under the deluge of emails sent during the rest of the week.
@tinuviel The only thing I reserve the right to be mad at his teachers about is the fact that they keep TEXTING AND EMAILING ME in the middle of my workday. I cannot possibly make it any clearer that I cannot be reached between the hours of X and Y on Days G, H, I and L. Piling daily emails on me is not going to make me more likely to respond to you, I guarantee it.
@silverfox Yeah, we had the meeting to 'update' his IEP, but its like... the things he needs he still can't get because they refuse to acknowledge that he needs in-person assistance despite his IEP stating that pretty clearly.
@silverfox My son is high-functioning, so he was deemed 'okay' to be kept in remote learning. Great. Except the reason they put him in classes with additional teachers is because he is unable to self-focus. So there was always someone to help steer him back on track when he started to drift. Only now, there's noone to pull him out of the drift. I'm working all day, there's no other parent in the household.
So now he's failing many of his classes and his teachers keep wanting to text and email me during the day, regardless of how many times I've told them I work 10 hour days and can only really respond on Thursdays (day off), telling me how many assignments he hasn't turned in while I sit here and go "Well no shit! Look at his IEP where he needs someone to help physically redirect him back on task!"
@wretched And now I realize that yes, in fact, a trained monkey can do my job because I do my job... and I was trained.
@ganymede said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
They sell them where I live in the States.
I’m salty about the lack of ketchup chips.
They sell them here, too, they're just hard to find. I swear they purposely put out one bag at a time to taunt me. They do the same with the Ketchup chips. I can find them, but its a hunt every time.
@sixregrets said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@too-old-for-this Same boat, but on the other side. About half an hour away from the border, missing little things like Chex Mix and orange Hostess Cupcakes. Also the ability to order little gadgets and things that don't ship to Canada to my post office box.
FirstWorldProblems. XD We need to find some backroad that's not policed. I'll bring yours, you bring mine!
@sixregrets said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@too-old-for-this said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
I am peeved that I cannot get my All Dressed chips in the US anymore.
laughing in Canadian
fistshakes! The truly sad part is I live less than an hour from the border, but there's no more just jumping into Canada to get good poutine or All Dressed chips. I need a contact in the underground who can provide me with my beloved All Dressed.
I am peeved that I cannot get my All Dressed chips in the US anymore.
