Recipes and Shit
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Ominous' Two-Hour and Really Fatty Macaroni & Cheese
aka Ominous' Take on His Mamaw's Mac & CheeseIngredients:
1 to 2 boxes of large elbow macaroni (Pour the uncooked macaroni in a deep casserole dish. You want enough to fill it between one-third and halfway up, as the macaroni will expand once cooked to fill it the rest of the way.)
0.5 to 1 stick of butter, melted
1 cup Cheez-Its, crushed
Salt
1-16 oz. box of Velveeta, half cubed and half sliced
1-16oz. block of extra sharp cheddar cheese, hand shredded
0.75 to 1-5 oz. wedge of asiago cheese, hand shredded
2-12 oz. cans of evaporated milk (EVAPORATED Milk not Condensed Milk. If you use the latter, you're making macaroni & cheese flavored room temperature ice cream.)
Pepper to taste
Ground cayenne or chipotle pepper to taste
Ground dried mustard to tasteOptional Ingredients:
Crumbled blue cheese to taste
4 slices of bacon, cooked and crumbled
Heavy cream instead of evaporated milk, if you want to be really fattyHardware:
Stockpot
Lasagna Pan, Deep Casserole Dish, or Dutch Oven
Cheese Grater
Cheese Slicer
Range
OvenFill a stockpot with one gallon of water and salt heavily. Do not use less than a gallon of water when cooking pasta. Do not use unsalted water when boiling pasta. Otherwise, the dead Italian grandmothers of the world will haunt you.
While bringing the water to a boil shred and cube all the cheese. Also melt the butter and stir it with the crushed up Cheez-Its. Once the water is boiling add the macaroni to the pot and preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Cook the pasta to al dente, then drain the water, saving 2 cups of it.
Add one can of evaporated milk, fresh ground pepper, ground cayenne/chipotle pepper, and ground dried mustard to the pasta, then slowly incorporate the cubed Velveeta, shredded cheddar, shredded asiago, and optional crumbled blue cheese (it does not take much blue cheese to add a little something extra, so go light with it), while stirring, letting the residual heat of the stockpot and pasta melt the cheeses. If it gets too thick, add the second can of evaporated milk. NOTE: The sauce will continue to thicken even once you're done, so aim for a little soupier than you want the finished product. If you need to throw the pot back on a burner to finish melting everything, that's alright, but do it on a low heat. If you need more liquid than the 2 cans of evaporated milk, use the saved pasta water in small additions.
Once all the cheeses are added and melted, throw in the bacon and stir. Pour the deliciousness into a lasagna pan, deep casserole dish, or dutch oven. Top with the slices of Velveeta and then the Cheez-It crumbles. Place the casserole dish in the oven and bake until the top layer has browned lightly. If it blackens, you didn't use enough butter on the Cheez-Its to fry them. Remove from the oven and serve. Makes enough to give heart disease to a 10-20 member family gathering.
Note: Again, use evaporated milk or heavy cream, not condensed milk. Condensed milk or more accurately Sweetened Condensed Milk has had sugar added.
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Also, any recipes at the You Suck at Cooking Youtube Channel. All the ones I have tried there are great and usually pretty easy to make.
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Vix's vaguely personalised Lamb and Apricot Bake
Ingredients:
3 tablespoons of olive oil
1 medium butternut squash, peeled, deseeded and cubed (or 250g of the pre-prepared frozen stuff because butternut squash is a bitch to peel and cube)
500g minced lamb
1 onion, peeled and roughly chopped
2* garlic cloves (*honestly as much garlic as you like, I usually do like 2 heaped teaspoons of garlic paste because I am a heathen)
2 tablespoons tomato puree
1 can chopped tomatoes
1 tbsp mango chutney
1 tablespoon spice (I use cinnamon because I can't handle heat, curry powder also works)
1 can apricots, roughly chopped (or 4-5 fresh ones, peeled and chopped, if you prefer)
500ml milk
Salt and pepper to taste
Cheddar to top if you like that sort of thingHardware:
Roasting tray
A large pot (I use a flat-bottomed wok but a giant saucepan will also do)
A big casserole dish
Hob/range
OvenSteps:
- Heat the oven to 190C/375F. Add 2tbsp oil to the roasting tray, toss the butternut squash in it, and add salt/pepper, roast for about 25-30 minutes
- In the large pot/wok, add the remaining oil and fry onions for 4-5 mins until soft.
- Add the lamb mince and cook until brown
- Add the garlic, tomato puree and chosen spice, stir well and cook for another 2-3 minutes
- Add the chopped tomatoes, mango chutney, apricots and milk. Stir well and turn down the heat so it simmers, stir every few minutes
- Add the butternut squash when it is done roasting
- Transfer the contents of the pot to the casserole dish. If you like cheese, scatter as much of that as you like on top
- Cook in the oven for 20-25 minutes or until the cheese is melty and golden and delicious
It freezes well!
It is a delicious meal on its own, but also works well over rice or with flatbread.
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I got a lot of people to feed chicken n taters
4 lbs bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs
1 tbsp kosher salt
1 tbsp dried oregano
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp dried rosemary
1 pinch cayenne pepper
6+ cloves of garlic, crushed
1/2 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/2 cup olive oil
3 russet potatoes, quartered; skin them if that's your thing, but I like skin on
2/3+ cup chicken broth or stockPreheat your oven to 425F. Lightly grease the inside of a large roasting pan.
In a large bowl, combine everything but the broth/stock. Give it a good hand-mixing until everything looks about evenly coated.
Transfer the chicken to the pan, skin side up. Add the potato quarters among the thighs. Pour the stock/broth evenly over the whole affair, then pour the marinade from the mixing bowl over it, also evenly.
Put the pan in the oven. Let it go for about 20 minutes, then remove everything and give everything a rotate to help cook more evenly, but keep the chicken skin-side up unless you want to lose the skin on the bottom of the pan. Return it to the oven for another 25 minutes or until the chicken registers 165F near the bone.
Remove the chicken from the oven to a serving plate. Cover it to keep it warm. Toss the potatoes in the remaining juices and return the pot to the oven on broil until the marinade caramelizes and blackens; maybe 3 minutes. Remove from oven and turn it off. Transfer the taters to the serving plate.
Splash a little more stock/broth into the pan to scrape up the crusties on the bottom of it, and give the marinade a good stir to make sure everyone gets some burnt garlic. Drizzle it all over the chicken and taters. Serve it with some broccoli or something if you're trying to pretend there's anything healthy about this meal.
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dis dish cooks, yo, i love it
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But Quinoa Is Supposed To Be Healthy Sausage Casserole
1 cup quinoa
1 tbsp olive oil
1 lb sausage
1 onion
Sliced mushrooms (optional)
1 egg
Salt to taste
2-3 cups shredded cheddar cheesePreheat oven to 400F. Boil quinoa with 3 cups of water until fluffy.
Dice onion. Heat olive oil on skillet and sauté over medium heat. Add mushrooms and sausage and cook until brown.
Scramble egg with salt.
Combine cooked quinoa, sausage, mushrooms, onions, egg, and 1-2 cups cheese. Move to baking dish and cover with 1 cup cheese.
Bake for 25 minutes until golden brown.This Is Killing Me Creamy Chicken Parm
4 tbsp butter
2-3 boneless chicken breasts
1/2 onion
3-5 cloves garlic
1 cup long grain rice
2.5 cups chicken stock
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup parmesan cheese
salt to taste
1 tsp herbs du provanceDice onion, garlic, and chicken breasts. Melt butter over low heat in skillet. Add onion and raise heat to sauté. Add garlic and cook until fragrant.
Add chicken until surface is cooked, stirring occasionally.
Add rice, stock, salt, and herbs and bring to boil. Cover and cook until liquid is gone.
Add cream and parmesan, stir until cheese is melted and rice is coated. -
@ganymede I stopped making it because I can and will drink the remaining marinade straight out of the dish I put the leftovers in, which makes me feel undignified.
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@greenflashlight I am absolutely going to make that now.
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@too-old-for-this Enjoy!
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GF's Favorite Broccoli Dish
1 can garbanzo beans
8 oz. broccoli, chopped to bite sized
8 oz. cauliflower, chopped to bite sized
7 total tbsp. olive oil
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. black pepper
1-2 tbsp honey
Juice of 3 small or 2 large limesPreheat the oven to 450F.
Open and drain the beans. Rinse them if you're worried about it. Pour them into a bowl with 2 tbsp. oil, the salt, and the pepper. Toss them until coated, then transfer them to a foil-lined baking sheet and cook them for 15 minutes.
While the beans cook, chop the vegetables to bite-sized and add them to the dirty bowl you tossed the bean in. Add 2 tbsp. olive oil and toss, coating the vegetables in the oil and remaining seasoning.
When the 15 minutes are up, move the beans to one side of the baking sheet and spread the vegetables as flat as you can on the other. Return them to the oven for 12 minutes.
While everything is cooking, in a clean bowl, pour 3 tbsp. olive oil and the lime juice. Whisk them together until well-combined, then whisk in honey to taste (I eyeball this because tasting it until it's right is part of the fun). Set aside when ready.
When the 12 minutes are up, the edges of the vegetables should be slightly blackened, and the beans should be crispy like Corn Nuts. Transfer them to a plate or bowl, pour your homemade dressing over them, and marvel.
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My sister's idea of a great snack last night:
Ingredients:
One (1) fish tail deep fried in lemon-salt cornmeal batter
One (1) jar of jalapeño jamSteps:
- Dip fish tail into entire jar of jalapeño jam
- Eat fish tail
- Fall off barstool
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A lot of my favorite recipes are for slow cookers, and well, reading these, I wanna slink away in shame.
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@macha said in Recipes and Shit:
A lot of my favorite recipes are for slow cookers, and well, reading these, I wanna slink away in shame.
Same. Big same.
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@macha Share the slow cooker goodness! I make my chili in a slow cooker, and many of my recipes are one-pot-shots for my Instant Pot!
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Yes, please share the slow cooker awesomeness! I would totally do slow cooker meals if I owned a slow cooker. It's on the list of appliances to purchase.
I have a slow cooker recipe somewhere for an awesome "Mexican" chicken dip that my deceased aunt used to make for every family gathering. When I dig it up, I'll throw it on here too.
Ceterum autem censeo Carthaginem esse delendam
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So. I am spoiled. Years back, my mom spent like 2K on this SUPER awesome set of cookware. It included a slow cooker that is basically a giant stock pot with its own separate heating element. When I moved away four years ago, she gifted it to me. It is one of my favorite pieces of kitchen equipment. She is also responsible for my Instant Pot and my air fryer. In short, my mom rules.
So yes. Please. Share ALL recipes. Slow cooker. Instant Pot. Oven. Grill. Air Fryer. ALL OF THEM. I love food and I want more things to try out!
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Yes please, slow cooker recipes!
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Speaking of slow cooker recipes, this is my sort of copycat of Honey Baked Ham's White Bean Soup. Prep is about five minutes if I'm in a hurry, ten if I'm really studying the beans to make sure every one is perfect.
Easy Bean Soup
1 (one) Slow cooker
1/2 lb Great Northern Beans, unsoaked
1 quart of unsalted vegetable stock
A big handful of baby carrots
Another big handful of frozen diced onions. (To taste) Maybe a third of a cup?
A good palmful of parsley, crushed, and about half that amount of marjoram, also crushed. More or less.
Two cloves of garlic, slightly squished
Some good shakes of celery salt
1 smoked sausage, like kielbasa, sliced into discs and cut the discs in half. (Optional, if you're a vegan or vegetarian.)Pick through your beans and rinse them off and dump them in your slow cooker. Dump in the carrots, onions, garlic and spices. Pour in the veg stock, and add water if it doesn't look like there's enough in there. (The beans are going to drink a lot, feel free to add more later.)
Put on high. Cook all day. Test it when you think it's done, (to make sure the beans are cooked instead of crunchy) and then add salt to taste. Toss in as much sausage as you want to eat, about fifteen minutes before you eat it. (Don't cook it with the sausage in all day, the flavor will go into the soup and the sausage will be flavorless and weirdly textured.)
Chow down. I like buttered bread on the side.
(All measurements for spices are approximate. If I'm using garlic powder rather than actual garlic, I'll add three times as much as I think I need and sometimes I'll add onion powder in addition to onions.)
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@ominous said in Recipes and Shit:
Yes, please share the slow cooker awesomeness! I would totally do slow cooker meals if I owned a slow cooker. It's on the list of appliances to purchase.
I have a slow cooker recipe somewhere for an awesome "Mexican" chicken dip that my deceased aunt used to make for every family gathering. When I dig it up, I'll throw it on here too.
I have a $20 crock pot from Walmart that gets used at least twice a week. It has lasted for years. Very much recommend.
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@macha said in Recipes and Shit:
A lot of my favorite recipes are for slow cookers, and well, reading these, I wanna slink away in shame.
Slow cookers are not just valid, they are honored methods of getting food into people.
GF's favorite weekend stew
2 lbs. stew beef. I find it's cheaper and tastier to buy two pounds of chuck roast and cut it down myself, but this is annoying if you don't have good knives, so no judgment if you buy the pre-cut stuff. Just be sure to give the pieces a checking for tough sinew left on them.
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of celery soup
1 packet powdered onion dipBrown the beef on all sides in a frying over medium heat. While it's cooking, mix the soups and the onion dip powder in a slow cooker. Add the beef and the drippings to the slow cooker when they're ready. I assume you're probably doing this in batches, but do it all at once if you have a big enough frying pan. Give it all a proper stir.
When all the beef is added, cover the cooker and set it to high for one hour, then low for six hours. Try to leave the house for the last few hours because the smell will drive you wild.
Serve over boiled white rice or my favorite, those boxed noodles at your grocery store that brag about being infused with vegetables. It works surprisingly well.
