I owe a lot of people some apologies.

[Ganymede]

@tempest said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

You need to be more careful when handling substances like MSB threads.

Truth here.

You never know when one might get too excited and accidentally go off in your hair.

[surreality]

@tempest To add to what Thenomain said, I treated a lot of people badly because of those things.

It was stupid and wrong, I should have known better and I didn't, and I did harm to people in the process. None of that is in any way OK.

So it wasn't just hearing shit. Everybody hears shit, and while that itself is not OK when people start this up, it was acting on what I heard in the ways I did that is magnitudes worse.

[Paris]

@surreality Well, now that you clearly (and recently) know the signs of someone winding you up in order for you to lose it, it might be easier in the future to guard against that kind of manipulation, and your responses to it, in the future.

[surreality]

@paris I am hoping so. I know I will certainly be doing my best to be vigilant in that regard.

[Tapewyrm]

This post is deleted!

[Tapewyrm]

@Arkandel said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

@tyche said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

@wizz said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

I get a little tired of the dumb, brassy lynch mob attitude around here sometimes.

Toxic femininity.

What the hell man. Especially not in this forum section, not that it works in any. Come on.

Wait, is calling out toxic femininity a no-no?

Do you clamp down on people saying toxic masculinity too?

[Derp]

@Tapewyrm

I get that you’re from WORA which is an entirely different culture.

But we don’t do that shit here. We closed the WORA-like section of the forum for a reason, and keep it at least mildly constructive.

So. Don’t.

[Tapewyrm]

@Derp But... don't do what? That's what I'm confused about. Don't call people out with buzzword terms, or, only do it targeting one half of the population.

For example, in literally the very next comment, Gany tells Tyche to stop mansplaining, which could either be a sarcastic jab back, or, it could be evidence of a sexist double standard.

I get that Tyche often plays edge-lord, and to my recollection he always did, but, I'm more interested in how moderation here is justified.

Just asking, at the end of the day. I only found this thread at all because I was browsing Theno's profile and one of his most recent posts was in it.

[faraday]

@Tapewyrm said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

But... don't do what? That's what I'm confused about.

Are you seriously trying to re-legislate a moderation call from over 5 years ago?

I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt that you're asking in good faith, but it's hard to imagine what you think will be gained from this.

Just follow the rules of engagement and you'll be fine.

[Tapewyrm]

@faraday said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

@Tapewyrm said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

But... don't do what? That's what I'm confused about.

Are you seriously trying to re-legislate a moderation call from over 5 years ago?

Um, no. I'm asking what the problem was. All I saw was "Don't do that, here of all places" and since I have precisely zero contextual knowledge of what has happened historically to prompt this reaction (plus half the participants of the discussion are now apparently banned), I asked a question.

I still haven't gotten an answer, in fact.

I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt that you're asking in good faith, but it's hard to imagine what you think will be gained from this.

What I think will be gained is I will better understand what the complaint was, since a throwaway comment that barely even registers a 0.5/10 on my personal scale of outrageous personal insults was treated as a grave social crime which had to cease immediately. Since the thread is ancient, and half the people involved seem to be banned, I figured it wasn't a big deal to bring it up.

There's nothing else going on here other than me trying to find out if this is a place where toxic masculinity is a fair topic to whine on about, but toxic femininity isn't, or if there was something else going on.

Just follow the rules of engagement and you'll be fine.

LOL from being on the internet for a very long time, that's often not a very reliable statement, especially if a community holds strong ideological views.

Whatever you're worried about, you can relax. I'm just asking what the problem was.

[reimesu]

@Tapewyrm This is the Mildly Constructive board. The aforementioned Rules of Engagement are still in full force on this board.

Unfortunately, the way you're engaging is, whether intentional or not, coming across as antagonistic. "Whining" about toxic masculinity or femininity really has no purpose but to start a fight, and in that case, it belongs on The Hog Pit. Except it closed because that kind of fighting has no place on MSB anymore.

On the other hand, if that kind of argument is your thing, maybe try BrandMuDay?

[Tapewyrm]

@reimesu said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

"Whining" about toxic masculinity or femininity really has no purpose but to start a fight"

See, that's pretty much all I was asking. Again, with my lack of context of whatever civil war I gather has taken place here, all I saw was someone being yelled at for suggesting that women can be toxic too.

Hence me asking if it would have been treated the same way if it was masculinity instead. I don't think there was much wrong with how I asked, tbh, but I can understand if there's a history of antagonism around such boards.

[Ghost]

I promise that this isn't me on a VPN
Or is it???

lol #spicyItalianFootlong

[Derp]

@reimesu

I concur with Reimesu. Such topics are charged enough that they really serve no constructive purpose on a gaming forum. At best, it comes across as myopic and a bit socially tone deaf. At worst, it feels like trolling.

Either way, this simply isn’t the place for it. We’re willing to deal with fewer participants to have healthier discussions. There are alternative environments for other tastes.

But to try to answer your question— it was posted in a constructive part of the forum when we still allowed no-holds-barred discussions in other parts, which is where the not-here came in. And under the current rules of engagement, linked above, not-here includes the whole forum, for the above reasons.

[Derp]

@Ghost

DON’T MAKE ME TURN THIS CAR AROUND.

[Tapewyrm]

@Derp said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

@reimesu

I concur with Reimesu. Such topics are charged enough that they really serve no constructive purpose on a gaming forum.

But you're okay with someone saying mansplaining? Understand, it's the potential gendered hypocrisy I'm investigating, here. I don't like sexism.

it comes across as myopic and a bit socially tone deaf.

I don't know what that means other than to suggest you feel that asking whether or not masculinity and femininity are both capable of being toxic is somehow socially inappropriate?

Either way, this simply isn’t the place for it. We’re willing to deal with fewer participants to have healthier discussions. There are alternative environments for other tastes.

Exactamundo. That's why I'm essentially asking you if you are sexist against men, as part of my assessment of this environment. I don't want to be among people who think it's okay to denigrate masculinity but won't accept any criticism of female behavior in turn. I don't want to have to listen to people whining about mansplaining, toxic masculinity, or male privilege all the time, especially as means to win an argument, as is the case I find in many online spaces. If that's not you guys, then all you had to do was say so when I specifically asked if you clamp down on gendered insults towards men.

My question was clear, and pretty mild.

But to try to answer your question— it was posted in a constructive part of the forum when we still allowed no-holds-barred discussions in other parts, which is where the not-here came in. And under the current rules of engagement, linked above, not-here includes the whole forum, for the above reasons.

Okay, that makes sense. Again, you'll notice my original question asked simply if you guys also clamp down on references to toxic masculinity too.

[Derp]

@Tapewyrm said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

@Derp said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

@reimesu

Exactamundo. That's why I'm essentially asking you if you are sexist against men, as part of my assessment of this environment. I don't want to be among people who think it's okay to denigrate masculinity but won't accept any criticism of female behavior in turn. I don't want to have to listen to people whining about mansplaining, toxic masculinity, or male privilege all the time, especially as means to win an argument, as is the case I find in many online spaces. If that's not you guys, then all you had to do was say so when I specifically asked if you clamp down on gendered insults towards men.

In short, we don’t allow serious insults to anyone, for any reason, in any context, anywhere. It’s a blanket statement of policy that applies to everyone equally. Hopefully that is clear.

[Tapewyrm]

@Derp I hope that's genuinely the case. It's a little concerning to me that the answer couldn't simply have been: "Yes".

Ah well. I have a total of, like 4 hours invested in this, so far!

[Ghost]

@Tapewyrm said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

Exactamundo. That's why I'm essentially asking you if you are sexist against men, as part of my assessment of this environment.

Alright, let's be constructive, here.

You're (allegedly) an old personality from WORA, having just made an account, and have all of these very specific questions regarding conduct and sexism of all things being asked in the air of "do you follow your own rules?".

Now, it's possible that you're simply some long-lost 3rd party WORA-ite suddenly (out of nowhere) walking in for a "spot assessment of the environment", but I'm assuming it's far more likely that this is related to some kind of pre-loaded Q&A routine.

So why don't you stop asking these questions and start asking the ones you plan to ask 3 or 4 questions down the line, or stop assessing the environment and explain why after all of these years the sudden interest in MSB and their policies requires this thorough an analysis?

I don't want to come across as unfriendly, but I've been in this hobby way too long to believe this is some kind of random, completely organic interest in the forum's policies on sexism. And if this IS somehow some sudden random person's desire to assess the policies of this forum, why this forum?

[Misadventure]

@Ghost just as an example, this is the sort of question I would normally ask.

However the responses here have always included hostility and suspicion, so its never been worth the time.

Just a data point.