I've come across a number of players, both on forum and in game, who don't feel wanted or feel ignored. I've had some incidents in games that have made me feel the same way, but sometimes, looking back, I feel like maybe the reason I felt wanted wasn't because of what was happening on the game, but instead more my perception of what was happening. Maybe I misjudged? Maybe my emotions got in the way? Every now and then I can't help but feel like some of these cries of being ignored are more the player's internal hangups and that some of the accusations of cliques or rp is hard to get into can be misjudgments or self fulfilling prophecies.
Anyway, here's the topic:
How far do you think other players and staff should go to make a player feel wanted? What do you do when a player, no matter how hard other players or staff try, still claims cliques and exclusivity when you simply don't agree with their perception?
I'll show mine first:
I was on Mass Effect: Alpha/Omega. This was a @Roz game, who I tend to speak highly of. Roz and the crew involved are very tight, and they've been roleplaying together a long time. They have plenty of characters who interact with each other, but they are always very good about including others and making sure as many people as possible get involved if they want to. HOWEVER, before having to leave the game due to RLsplosion and stress, I started to feel like I wasn't part of the core demographic, which looking back on it, it wasn't true, but my RL stress had me tangled up in these nothing matters anyway type emotions. Now, I'm not the type to scream on WORA or whatnot, but had I been that person, I could have screamed and yelled about cliques or not being wanted. Looking back, I think I might have been a little intimidated by how good that group is. They pick up on each other's queues and roleplay like a pack of hunting raptors. It was impressive, but to stressed or timid or players with low self esteem they might generate some of those awkward feelings of intimidating, exclusivity, or better than thou.
In the end, I'm glad I got the time there that I did, and I feel like I learned something about the way my heartmeats work.
Share/thoughts?
EDIT: And no, I'm sure @Roz can attest, I never actually did reach out to staff to share my feelings at the time. I felt it would feel like whining, so I didn't, which is my own personal hangup. So I didn't seek a solution. So What do you think your responsibility is as a player to overcome these feelings of not being wanted?