RL Anger

Thenomain · Dec 24, 2016, 7:24 AM

@Thenomain When you say "racial protection" do you mean "species protection" or an actual tribal-like mentality? No judgement, I'm just curious as to your phrasing.

I meant species protection, but when you start building cultures it could also be applied to cultural protection, probably.

mietze · Dec 26, 2016, 11:41 PM

Well, now I lost my back up job. Trying to decide if I can deal with just not working until preschool starts next year, or do I need to juggle now (without childcare costs eating everything or impacting partner's schedule too much.)

Catsmeow · Dec 27, 2016, 3:23 AM

I believe that people tell you who they are if you just listen. Their actions are more representative than their words. So it is always a bit sad when someone disappoints me IRL. I'm always stuck between 'why didn't I see this coming' and 'fuck them'. THEN ... because I'm a sucker. I find myself still being like, well if you apologize...

Ugh. Sometimes I am the thing that annoys me in RL.

Tinuviel · Dec 27, 2016, 3:23 AM

@Catsmeow This was true of me for a long time. Apparently I could be easily identified by my lack of capitalisation at the start of dialogue, unlike convention. It's definitely something easy to spot if a person trying to hide has such a tell.

Almost like there's a merit for that...

Catsmeow · Dec 27, 2016, 3:28 AM

Oh! All my RP has a tell. I don't even try to hide it. I"m too busy and tired to try at this point.

Wizz · Dec 27, 2016, 3:56 AM

Slowly coming to grips with the realization that single-dad life being "admirable" doesn't mean it's attractive, at least in the online dating scene, in a place and time in my life where that's pretty much the only dating scene. Blegh.

Catsmeow · Dec 27, 2016, 4:21 AM

@Wizz said in RL Anger:

Slowly coming to grips with the realization that single-dad life being "admirable" doesn't mean it's attractive, at least in the online dating scene, in a place and time in my life where that's pretty much the only dating scene. Blegh.

How ya' doin'?

Auspice · Dec 27, 2016, 4:22 AM

@Wizz said in RL Anger:

Slowly coming to grips with the realization that single-dad life being "admirable" doesn't mean it's attractive, at least in the online dating scene, in a place and time in my life where that's pretty much the only dating scene. Blegh.

Just gotta find the right ladies, I think.

Wizz · Dec 27, 2016, 4:55 AM

@Auspice
I just have no idea where to look anymore. Admittedly I make this a lot harder for myself in that the kind of women I tend to be very attracted to are modern, liberal, living-their-dream types who always seem to have zero interest in children (or at least, they're the only ones who make dating profiles in my area).

Catsmeow · Dec 27, 2016, 4:57 AM

We'll just make you a board on 'Shout out' for the right person. Just go put your ad there. I mean what bad thing could happen?

Auspice · Dec 27, 2016, 5:03 AM

@Wizz said in RL Anger:

@Auspice
I just have no idea where to look anymore. Admittedly I make this a lot harder for myself in that the kind of women I tend to be very attracted to are modern, liberal, living-their-dream types who always seem to have zero interest in children (or at least, they're the only ones who make dating profiles in my area).

I never had luck with social dating sites. But, I promise, there's modern, liberal, 'working towards goals' women out there who want kids. I'm one of them and I've known a few.

Chances are they're too busy for dating sites or they've been turned off by the kind of guy they come across (last time I tried, 95% of the messages/hits I got were guys just wanting to get laid or guys wanting a 'third' for them and their SO).

WTFE · Dec 27, 2016, 6:46 AM

@Auspice, meet @Wizz. Wizz; Auspice.

Now please just ignore me while I go back here and put on some Barry White (or at least Barry Adamson)…

Catsmeow · Dec 27, 2016, 6:55 AM

Auspice's SO might complain about that.

Online dating has been tragically amusing for me. Really, it's just stories to tell my friends. However, there is no right or wrong way to find someone. It's hard to make a connection with most people and that's why we should value the ones we do make.

It will come in time. The best advice I have ever gotten in regards to dating and SO seeking is: Stop. Just go live your life. Go find meet ups of things you enjoy doing. Go spend your time having a fulfilling life. The rest will filter in when it's time.

Auspice · Dec 27, 2016, 7:05 AM

@WTFE said in RL Anger:

@Auspice, meet @Wizz. Wizz; Auspice.

Now please just ignore me while I go back here and put on some Barry White (or at least Barry Adamson)…

Y'know, I aaaaaaalmost put a disclaimer that I am not available. GO BACK TO YOUR FANCY MICROSCOPE SIR.

WTFE · Dec 27, 2016, 1:00 PM

@Auspice said in RL Anger:

Y'know, I aaaaaaalmost put a disclaimer that I am not available.

Here's what I'm reading: "I almost put a disclaimer, but then decided not to because I might get to trade up."

(This is me running away. Very quickly.)

Auspice · Dec 27, 2016, 1:00 PM

@WTFE said in RL Anger:

@Auspice said in RL Anger:

Y'know, I aaaaaaalmost put a disclaimer that I am not available.

Here's what I'm reading: "I almost put a disclaimer, but then decided not to because I might get to trade up."

(This is me running away. Very quickly.)

Running is good. I'm lazy.

Coin · Dec 27, 2016, 1:01 PM

I feel you, @Wizz

Know what makes it hard for me? I am steeped in a culture that expects and suggests certain behavior when it comes to dating, and yet those expectations and suggestions are not applicable to the actual dating culture that exists outside my apartment door.

This is what I get for splitting my life the way I do.

... it's also true that I am okay alone. Loneliness rears its ugly head sometimes, but when it does it's rarely the kind that would be fixed only with a partner. Most of the time, it's just the chemicals in my brain.

Oh hey, way TMI.

Eh, whatever.

Cupcake · Dec 27, 2016, 4:41 PM

Okay, so. I've been coping with this for about two months, and I'm still having trouble dealing with it.

My oldest brother and I have been fighting since the election kicked into high gear. He was vehemently anti-Hillary (but had no argument for or against Trump). It came to the point where we simply decided the best thing was to not talk politics to each other. But then he posted a meme on his facebook of a photo of a famous pop singer holding a blow up dildo on stage and the caption "X is supporting Hillary - Because she's shocked at what Trump said and is fighting hard for women's dignity".

And I kinda lost my shit:

1. An artist giving a sexualized performance (whether you approve of/enjoy that performance or not) has nothing to do with her private sexual behavior.

2. Her private sexual behavior is NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.

3. Her choice to perform is not the same as a man laughingly admitting to sexual assault. Even if she's promiscuous (and there's absolutely no proof that she is, and even if she is, see #2) she does not deserve to be assaulted for any reason ever.

4. For you to equate consensual sexual behavior or sexualized expression with sexual assault is basically the equivalent of you spitting in the face of my sexual assault and telling me I deserved it. Yeah. I'm ashamed of you. Hope you're proud of yourself.

His response was to inform me that he was entitled to his opinion and "let go of the hate". This is after not only this thread, but a seperate one in which he tried to get me to agree that the artist is "a slut".

I haven't spoken to him since, and it's #4 in particular that hurts because it's clear he doesn't see how badly he hurt me or how toxic what he said is.

Ganymede · Dec 27, 2016, 4:43 PM

@Cupcake said in RL Anger:

I haven't spoken to him since, and it's #4 in particular that hurts because it's clear he doesn't see how badly he hurt me or how toxic what he said is.

You can't really force him to accept that he is being an insensitive asshole.

This really isn't trivial. It is an indictment of his sensibilities.

Don't take advice from me, though. I'm not exactly shy with cutting ties with people.

Lithium · Dec 27, 2016, 5:06 PM

@Cupcake Clearly he has his own issues, but, I'm of the opinion there is nothing /special/ about 'family' they are just people like any other person on the planet. So I'd just cut him out of my life completely. I had to do that with my sister once when she was being a selfish bitch.

I'm with Ganymede on this one.