Jan 4, 2017, 3:47 PM

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This is my horde of animals.

The cat loaf in front is Old Man Merlin. Had him since 2005. He's old, going deaf. But he's the best cat I've ever had. He does nothing but want your affections and will be happy to sit next to you on the couch all damn day. He may not be able to hear a damn thing you say, but somehow he knows when a package of lunch meat is being opened.

The gray floof in the middle is Gandalf. This cat usually has a constantly worried expression, and I'm pretty sure he's scared of his own shadow. He doesn't meow, he simply chirps. My friend has decided to start calling him Floof Wizard.

And that bitch in the back is Saskia. She's dense as hell, both literally and figuratively. She's constantly being a little shit and she's either too fat or too lazy to clean her own butt, so randomly there's butt streaks on the carpet that I have to scrub. She can be sweet, but those times are rare.