RL peeves! >< @$!#

[Ganymede]

@Admiral said:

I'm not going to fat shame you, but by god you're a horrible person.

I actually have a strong dislike for morbidly-obese people. I sympathize for people with actual gland problems or genetic pre-dispositions, but I've met people with the same that aren't 300+ pounds.

Lose some fucking weight, shit. No, you don't deserve a handicap placard.

I'm not sorry for saying any of the above.

[silentsophia]

Be careful. Too tight skinny jeans can cause circulation and nerve damage.

I love modcloth's one piece bathing suits, but man, those puppies are expensive. I need to not have a slight pot belly. /shakefist (I need to do so many sit ups and stuff. So many.) I'd probably wear a fatkini because I'm shy, though.

Also, I love being more stable and cheerful on meds but this sleepiness and noodly arms is pissing me off.

[Sundown]

The mindset shift where it's suddenly supposed to be a good thing is revolting.

I agree we should not ostracize or bully people, because who of us is without shitty problems they're not on top of? Fat people already feel horrible about it, even if they claim they're not, they're lying.

But to change the truth of a thing in order to coddle people's egos? I don't think that helps anyone.

[Luna]

It becomes more than just not being mean to fat people. There's a whole culture and it's an ugly, ugly culture. First of all, there are all these 'perceptions' of bullying that just aren't. Like if you look too long at someone. I've read articles where some girl got mad that a hairdresser told her that the cut she wanted wasn't flattering and she got it anyway (it was so hideous) and the hairdresser then said 'I bet you feel like you've lost 10 pounds' because she cut like 2 feet off the girl's hair. This was OBVIOUSLY FATSHAMING. What? Just...what?

Then there's the part where they get to attack others for losing weight, being skinny, going to the gym, watching what they eat...etc. And god forbid a dude not date fat girls. HOW DARE HE. But yet, if a dude only dates fat girls, he's obviously fetishizing them and they're not objects for your pleasure!

You can't win. The hot girls I follow on Instagram have never been nothing but nice and encouraging to me and they're stunning. I abandoned my real Facebook for ages because of mean fat girls. So there's that.

Fun fact, morbid obesity starts for a 5'4" woman at 235. Let that sink in a minute. That is not the person we usually picture to be morbidly obese just yet.

Oh and, @silentsophia, I totally understand the sleepiness annoyance but I'm glad you're feeling better. Mod cloth is cute but I can't wear a one piece. I'm super short waisted. Long legs does not count when you're 5'4". It's sad. It just means nothing fits well. I ended up getting a fatkini. However, because I'm sooooo short waisted, the two pieces meet in the middle and overlap haha.

[Ganymede]

@Sundown said:

I agree we should not ostracize or bully people, because who of us is without shitty problems they're not on top of? Fat people already feel horrible about it, even if they claim they're not, they're lying.

There is no end to the shaming and bullying of smokers, who are participating in an activity that's legal in most cases. This is acceptable because the goal of the shaming and campaigning will ultimately make the population healthier.

However, companies that encourage employers to lose weight by offering discounts on their health care plans are excoriated for allegedly fat-shaming. Yeah, people who think that can fuck right off.

[silentsophia]

@Luna I have a long torso. I had a cute tuxedo style one with a bow, but when I raised my arms... Hello, girls!

It didn't work out and it made me sad.

[Sundown]

@Luna said:

Fun fact, morbid obesity starts for a 5'4" woman at 235. Let that sink in a minute. That is not the person we usually picture to be morbidly obese just yet.

Around 150 lbs is where I start to feel nasty fat and feel horrible about myself. Funny thing is, I've seen people lose weight and that would be their "achievement" weight loss point. I didn't know whether to feel good about myself, or just scratch my head at how bad it can get. 125 lbs is the weight where I feel best. Due to various stress-things, I haven't been there in years. I think these figures are very distorted nowadays, especially in the USA.

[Olsson]

Well, weight also needs context, I'm currently in bad shape and I weigh less than when I was in my best shape. Just you know, lost asome muscle and gained some fat. And utterly lost my cardio .. damnit now I feel bad. I tell you starting Uni was the worst thing for my health. >.>

[Luna]

@Olsson We all have our issues. Mine is heartache and stress. Hello, in spades. Being not fat is all about not eating too much. Being healthy is moving. A cookie won't make me happy, simple solution. Finding the time to run and lift weights is harder to get motivated for. Theres no solution other than to just do it.

[Wretched]

Well, there's proof Luna is a corporate shill, owned by Nike.

Motivation is the hard part. I used to walk everywhere, hit dance clubs multiple times a week, etc. I was the most active goth ever.

Now? Married, happily so. Which in itself took away a lot of my going out 'motivation'. Been out of work for far longer than i want to admit and now when I try to go walking I give up too easy because I have no destination. Walking for the sake of walking just blows.

I went from super active lifestyle to total sedentary and blew up like nothing else, with stretch marks to prove it.

[HelloRaptor]

I hate skinny jeans with burning, fiery passion.

....agreed.

[mietze]

I couldn't even find maternity jeans that weren't skinny jeans. That's like the biggest fuck you ever. Granted, I have less to choose from in store because I need a petite size, but. Some of this may be generational though. I assume most people who are buying maternity jeans are significantly younger than I was last year, and I'd given away all my normal ones like over a decade prior. It's hard to find non-skinny jeans for my older boys too. My teen girl lives in them, but it seems like everyone else her age does too.

But really, what the fuck is with skinny maternity jeans and horizontal stripe maternity shirts.

I've been just at the edge of morbidly obese. (though not for quite a few years now, when I worked for a significant weight loss). I will say that while it can be done (if I can do it then almost anyone else can), I honestly don't think that anyone gets to that point without some significant issues OTHER than just food intake going on, as the amount you have to take in to maintain that weight can be a form of self-medication--or they've been significantly injured or ill. I think this is why a lot of folks find it harder to maintain than actually lose, or have a hard time taking the steps to get there. Mine included an eating plan, yes, and more exercise (I'm now an avid runner), but for me to hit the 100 lbs+ loss mark it included counseling and other treatment to address other issues. (Along with a nutritionist). I'm not saying everyone that is morbidly obese has mental issues, but in my experience along with many others I've talked to, there usually is some other stuff going on that needs to be addressed for long term success and maintaining health.

And I wasn't fat my whole life either. What your mind pictures you are and what you actually are can be a total mindfuck a lot of the time, in either direction. Post-baby weight has been a very big stress for me because I still think I look my heaviest until I look at pictures from them and realize that I am so very not. Though when I was at my heaviest, even though I knew that I was, I still "felt" like I did in high school (which was ideal weight, perfect hourglass figure, ect) until I looked in the mirror.

The mind is just very strange sometimes.

I do work towards the body that I feel most comfortable in, but I've got a lot of things going for me than many other folks do: an excellent metabolism and easy athleticism (Until I got help for it I've always been a binger, so to be frank I can probably out eat someone 3 times my size at least in one sitting) which means that I did not put on what someone else doing the same behavior might have. I had the money and time to get professional support when I needed it. I have no significant health problems (no diabetes/hypertension/other diseases). I have a strong support system around me.

I agree that just losing weight is pretty simple, but...I don't know that I would term it easy unless it's just a matter of someone who realizes "hmmm, oh shit, I've been eating like it's swim season even though I quit the team 5 years ago." I think most of the people who are in the 100+ lbs to lose range MAY have a more complex situation, but of course that's not always the case.

[Arkandel]

I don't like *-shaming. But it's been true, especially online, that people who would defend fat-shaming vehemently would then themselves attack people for being 'too skinny'. What's that about?

As long as someone is reasonably healthy leave them alone, and even if they're not... well, unless you're their doctor (or maybe friend, and even then in private) and it's not impacting on you in any way - such as second hand smoke, sorry - it's not up to you to speak up.

So yes, sometimes models might be considered anorexic. That's not healthy, right? I guess, sure, but I've also seen some people who're pretty heavy and that is not terribly healthy either - if I wouldn't (and I wouldn't) make remarks about the latter, what gives me the right to do so about the former?

Some people online lose all decency. WORA? MSB? That's nothing, its not even remotely that bad around here because there's some minor accountability but if anyone has read Yahoo! articles... man. These folks are downright toxic. "She's so ugly!/She's disgusting!!" would be rather mild user comments when referring to celebrities there. I can't imagine the posters hold themselves to a similar standard of beauty, I mean everything else aside, usually those celebrities have pretty good skin, excellent dentistry, the photos were taken by professionals, etc. It's really nasty.

[Luna]

Ah when I say it's easy to lose weight I literally mean eat fewer calories than you burn. That's a dead simple approach to weight loss. You don't generally have to complicate it or whatever. That just speeds things along, or sometimes doesn't. You don't even have to work out.

But yes, the other issues are more complicated, but on a very base practical level, it's easy. You know?

[Miss Demeanor]

@Admiral Conversely, try being a woman and having a body that doesn't conform to the presets. I have a short torso, but long enough legs that petite sizes look like Urkel pants on me. Regular sizes are just long enough to leave about half an inch of excess hem, however. There is no in between. No 'by inch' inseams. There's petite, regular, and long. If you do not fit in one of those three... well....

And don't even get me started on how a size 8 differs in actual size based on the where the pants sit on the waist.

@Three-Eyed-Crow This sort of thing is why I tend to do my shopping at Goodwill or Salvation Army. They're the only places I can reliably find bootcut and flare-leg jeans.

@Olsson It is if sewing is not something you like or even tolerate well. To this day, I can't sew a straight line without it looking like some Frankenstein-ish hatchet job. Thankfully, getting things hemmed is pretty damn cheap. I still generally just walk off the excess length though.

[Deleted]

@Miss-Demeanor Women are supposed to wear skirts and dresses anyways. Pants are for men. MEN!

And those manly pants are meant to be fitted for guys with no crotch and giant bellies. But by god, they're manly pants.

[Miss Demeanor]

@Admiral As a female with a rather large tattoo on one calf, let me tell you how few employers would agree with your 'no pants' idea. >.>

@HelloRaptor Tableflip, indeed, sir!

[mietze]

@Luna, I understand what you're saying and I agree. I find weight loss pretty effortless as long as there's no other complicating factors. However, learning how to cope with the other stuff if you were fat "for a reason" is not, and I understand totally when people don't do it.

Plus, honestly as someone who has lost 100 lbs before, very simply it did not make me feel better. I don't think I look all that better either. Obesity scars you physically too potentially even if you lose the weight. (Though it took almost a year of maintenance to get an idea of how things would settle and ended up being a lot better that it seemed initially). What made me feel better/be healthier was not the fact that now I guess a few more people might find me fuckable and I can buy normal clothes but the other work I did mentally.

So honestly if someone is happy with themselves (and part of that is being able to tolerate different bodies without feeling the need to be derogatory, imo) then that's just fine with me. No matter how much more fat/skinny than I am they are.

[Thenomain]

Like any strain on your body, it takes time for it to recover. A friend of mine's wife was told, when she got her stomach stapled (and she's sticking with it, so it's worked) that it will take a good number of years for her skin to fit her new form.

[Miss Demeanor]

It won't always 'fit' again, though. Especially if you already have stretchmarks, whether from kids or weight gain/loss, sometimes your skin will just always be a bit... flabby. God knows mine is like that. For the better part of a decade, I was a size 6. Didn't stop me from still having some poochy belly skin going on. I accept that I will never have a completely flat belly. That time has passed. At this point, I'll be happy if I can get under, and stay under, size 10.