Apr 26, 2017, 2:40 PM

My cats are lazy and cowardly. I am reasonably sure the only ass they could kick would be each others', if they had the nerve to find out beyond the occasional hilarious round of rock-'em-sock-'em robots they go through whenever they meet on the stairs. (After which they run and hide for at least an hour.)

We adopted them as adults, and have no idea what on earth their former owners were like.

Probably, assholes. We were told the one was not really friendly (and she's always on the back of my chair if I'm in the chair) and the other we were told was absolutely not a people cat, and would barely let anyone pet her, let alone pick her up, she'd never sleep on the bed, etc. She is, of course, the one that prances down the hall like a Disney princess singing trills at us until she can race up to us and headbonk the dickens out of us until we pick her up.

I have no idea what on earth their previous owners did, but I would kinda like to kick them in the shins more than just a little.