I wasn’t really planning on saying more for a while, but hell.
I can’t claim I’m entirely without fault here. It takes two to tango. Without going into the details right now, I put in a Crisis action that channeled some of my recent frustrations with the game. Rereading it, I can’t say I would’ve written it quite that way again, as Hellfrog wasn’t wrong when she detected passive aggressive frustration there and a distinct lack of enthusiasm for her story. Whatever justifications or context I might provide doesn't really matter, because it was quite obviously a mistake that I own.
I was asked to leave when I explained what prompted it. I realized that I should probably just say ‘okay’ and left it at that, but I didn’t. It would be disingenuous of me to then protest on some level I didn’t walk myself right into the ‘if you feel that way, it’s best you should leave’ ending. With the should not being optional. The cat was out of the bag, regardless of any willingness to keep any frustrations in check in the future. It was clear Hellfrog thinks I am a toxic and antagonistic player, and this has been her opinion of me for quite some time.
I don’t walk away with a hate-boner for Arx. They didn’t think I was a good fit, and that’s their prerogative. When there is no trust left between player and staff, what's the point? While I have a lot of thoughts about Arx and its state, I’m going to take a break from it all before I write anything more about it, if I ever do.
Mostly I’m just a bit disappointed with the ending after a year on the game. I liked Victus, the character becoming something different than originally designed through a lot of great interactions and organic roleplay. As he kept complaining: Arx will corrupt anyone if given enough time. So again, to those of you I rped with, thanks. I would’ve kept playing if I’d been allowed, but I suspect some of my enthusiasm was already dead. My joy came from my interactions with players, not the game world or its story.