Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning

lordbelh

I wasn’t really planning on saying more for a while, but hell.

I can’t claim I’m entirely without fault here. It takes two to tango. Without going into the details right now, I put in a Crisis action that channeled some of my recent frustrations with the game. Rereading it, I can’t say I would’ve written it quite that way again, as Hellfrog wasn’t wrong when she detected passive aggressive frustration there and a distinct lack of enthusiasm for her story. Whatever justifications or context I might provide doesn't really matter, because it was quite obviously a mistake that I own.

I was asked to leave when I explained what prompted it. I realized that I should probably just say ‘okay’ and left it at that, but I didn’t. It would be disingenuous of me to then protest on some level I didn’t walk myself right into the ‘if you feel that way, it’s best you should leave’ ending. With the should not being optional. The cat was out of the bag, regardless of any willingness to keep any frustrations in check in the future. It was clear Hellfrog thinks I am a toxic and antagonistic player, and this has been her opinion of me for quite some time.

I don’t walk away with a hate-boner for Arx. They didn’t think I was a good fit, and that’s their prerogative. When there is no trust left between player and staff, what's the point? While I have a lot of thoughts about Arx and its state, I’m going to take a break from it all before I write anything more about it, if I ever do.

Mostly I’m just a bit disappointed with the ending after a year on the game. I liked Victus, the character becoming something different than originally designed through a lot of great interactions and organic roleplay. As he kept complaining: Arx will corrupt anyone if given enough time. So again, to those of you I rped with, thanks. I would’ve kept playing if I’d been allowed, but I suspect some of my enthusiasm was already dead. My joy came from my interactions with players, not the game world or its story.

Clarity

@Meg I was a very new addition to the Thrax, and didn't know about or attend the funeral. I can't speak for anyone else's experiences but my own was really good. Everyone on an OOC level was great.

Arkandel

@Meg said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

That has not been my experience. Not regarding @lordbelh or you in particular, but Thrax as a whole has been weirdly exclusive in a number of ways that were just-- odd? Making Donrai's funeral private and secretive is the thing that comes to mind right off the top of my head, but there were a number of incidents. I don't know if it was the culture that was built or not, or whatever. But I don't think the players in Thrax have been particularly helpful of the Thrax vs the world mentality by their actions.

Now, I can't answer to things that happened before my time - Donrai's funeral, for instance - but I can address the situation you're describing itself.

I play Castiel. In the portrayal of a traditional (even a self-proclaimed progressive one) who's in favor of keeping thralls because that's their way of life, it's natural that I'm also playing something of a villain - or at least antihero; it's hard to come across as the good guy when your character supports taking slaves in battle. I get that.

However I'd like to think that's part of the challenge, and the fun, of playing flawed characters. They're not supposed to be nice, that's the point; and yet after any given contentious scene I have made sure to page people (something I don't do often) and basically let them know I enjoyed it, that it was only roleplay, and that I'd like to see more of it happen. Sometimes this was met with the same spirit it was offered, and I've had a lot of good scenes come out of it; other times - well, I could be wrong of course but I got the equivalent of an OOC wall. Eh.

But the majority of my RP has been well outside of the estate. It's easy for an entrenched situation to create the impression of a us-versus-them mentality but it doesn't have to. We're all just playing characters on a game - and at least some of the players I've interacted within Thrax have seemed quite reasonable. I personally don't give a damn if my character 'wins' any more than I think he's 'right'; either of those words don't really have a place in what I'm doing.

Having said that, Thrax is the odd-House out. What I'm saying is what you might be perceiving goes the other way around, too.

Roz

@Clarity said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

@Cupcake said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

@Goyim said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

What'd Julea do? Has anyone else been banned yet?

I do know some eyes were turned toward her direction regarding blocking other people out of rp, and likewise some regard as getting an overt amount of attention and shinies plotwise. I could not speak as to the veracity of it all, but the former would be more likely a reason for ban than the latter.

Neither are correct.

Went out of my way to involve people who were struggling to get involved in story and plot, but my play times sometimes made it tricky to catch up with everyone I wanted to.

I'm sure you were very inclusive of people who you didn't feel were direct competition to your personal story.

Meg

@Arkandel

I was going to say something fancy and eloquent, but I will just say that I wasn't trying to point out any one person, player, or character. It is understandably fun to play flawed, to play the antagonist. I am more than happy to play against that. I just think that as a whole, culturally, you also have to be aware of how you're coming across to others. And that is valid too for the rest of the factions, that we should be aware too.

As a side note, I do need to RP with Castiel. PLEASE.

Cupcake

@Meg said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

As a side note, I do need to RP with Castiel. PLEASE.

Yes, you do. Sam simultaneously wants to throttle him and have him be her dinner party table buddy for the rest of ever. Which basically is a testament to @Arkandel's RP mojo.

saosmash

@Cupcake SAM WE GOTTA RP TOO.

Meg

@Cupcake

I just want to discuss jewelry with him.

Cupcake

@saosmash OKAY OKAY (err who are you again?)

@Meg: Uh huh. Suuuuuuure.

scar

@Roz said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

@Clarity said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

@Cupcake said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

@Goyim said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

What'd Julea do? Has anyone else been banned yet?

I do know some eyes were turned toward her direction regarding blocking other people out of rp, and likewise some regard as getting an overt amount of attention and shinies plotwise. I could not speak as to the veracity of it all, but the former would be more likely a reason for ban than the latter.

Neither are correct.

Went out of my way to involve people who were struggling to get involved in story and plot, but my play times sometimes made it tricky to catch up with everyone I wanted to.

I'm sure you were very inclusive of people who you didn't feel were direct competition to your personal story.

Julea was territorial of what she felt were her storylines and worked to block others from being involved and actively tried to dissuade a brand new player from their character because they were written in as a potential rival. She complained loudly and often on channel about not having adequate metaplot attention while her character had more secrets, hooks, and special abilities than several other characters combined. As a largely uninvolved observer, I can honestly say that she is actively misrepresenting herself and staff above. Guess what finger I’m holding up.

Goyim

@Clarity said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

@Cupcake said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

@Goyim said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

What'd Julea do? Has anyone else been banned yet?

I do know some eyes were turned toward her direction regarding blocking other people out of rp, and likewise some regard as getting an overt amount of attention and shinies plotwise. I could not speak as to the veracity of it all, but the former would be more likely a reason for ban than the latter.

Neither are correct.

Went out of my way to involve people who were struggling to get involved in story and plot, but my play times sometimes made it tricky to catch up with everyone I wanted to.

I do not think I got an overt amount of attention from staff, I hadn't been involved in any GM'd scenes. Only 1 story request. I was given a really good secret though, and that was crucial in helping me integrate and get involved, particularly towards the end of my play time.

Player of Victus in particular was very inclusive and welcoming when my PC joined Thrax on an OOC level.

Did staff ever give you a reason for why you were no longer welcome on their game?

Doozer

Perrach here. I'm always down for rp with the Thrax folk. He ain't anything special but he'll tell you where the bear shits in the woods.

Back to the topic, I've resigned to not get involved or try to swim my way into the big plots happening. If it happens, it happens. My guy has his own path and it's working out so far by role playing with others outside of the Thrax org.

So... @lordbelh Want to give Perrach your armor?

Clarity

@scar said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

@Roz said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

@Clarity said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

@Cupcake said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

@Goyim said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

What'd Julea do? Has anyone else been banned yet?

I do know some eyes were turned toward her direction regarding blocking other people out of rp, and likewise some regard as getting an overt amount of attention and shinies plotwise. I could not speak as to the veracity of it all, but the former would be more likely a reason for ban than the latter.

Neither are correct.

Went out of my way to involve people who were struggling to get involved in story and plot, but my play times sometimes made it tricky to catch up with everyone I wanted to.

I'm sure you were very inclusive of people who you didn't feel were direct competition to your personal story.

Julea was territorial of what she felt were her storylines and worked to block others from being involved and actively tried to dissuade a brand new player from their character because they were written in as a potential rival. She complained loudly and often on channel about not having adequate metaplot attention while her character had more secrets, hooks, and special abilities than several other characters combined. As a largely uninvolved observer, I can honestly say that she is actively misrepresenting herself and staff above. Guess what finger I’m holding up.

I was not trying to dissuade the newbie, I was trying to help them. I offered them background information regarding their PC and how they had interacted with mine. And what the two scenes involved. I even had asked for a scene with them and offered to help them get settled. I did not mean to in any way dissuade her from taking the character. If she thought I was doing so, apologies for that, it wasn't my intention.

I have not intentionally tried to block anyone from story lines. And I don't think I complained loudly and often on channels about not having enough meta plot attention. I think maybe once, early on when I didn't understand the significance of my PC's secret, yes, because I had been struggling to get involved in things as a commoner, but often? Hardly. I spent a lot of time on channels helping people, I sang the praises of the staff and the awesome job they do often. And I asked a lot of questions.

I don't think I've had any special staff attention, no GM'd scenes, I think I submitted one story action request. The character secret had only just recently started to come into play and it was really helpful when it came to getting involved, so I was grateful for that.

mietze

Unbelievable.

While I'm sure that lordbelh could have phrased things differently, being human, banning him like that? That's enough for me to never darken the door of that game.

You guys have lost a mature, even-handed, inclusive player; who does not stir drama, play favorites, pass on gossip, etc--as proven across multiple years and games.

I'm sorry you were treated that way, lordbelh. Thank you for being open (and charitable) about your part in it.

Cupcake

@Clarity said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

I was not trying to dissuade the newbie, I was trying to help them. I offered them background information regarding their PC and how they had interacted with mine. And what the two scenes involved. I even had asked for a scene with them and offered to help them get settled. I did not mean to in any way dissuade her from taking the character. If she thought I was doing so, apologies for that, it wasn't my intention.

I have not intentionally tried to block anyone from story lines. And I don't think I complained loudly and often on channels about not having enough meta plot attention. I think maybe once, early on when I didn't understand the significance of my PC's secret, yes, because I had been struggling to get involved in things as a commoner, but often? Hardly. I spent a lot of time on channels helping people, I sang the praises of the staff and the awesome job they do often. And I asked a lot of questions.

I don't think I've had any special staff attention, no GM'd scenes, I think I submitted one story action request. The character secret had only just recently started to come into play and it was really helpful when it came to getting involved, so I was grateful for that.

Clearly many, many people do not view your actions that way. I would be the first person to sympathize with being in a situation where you are limited to the subjectivity of your own intent, but if so many people are saying this is how you came off, and if staff was willing to ban you for it, you owe it to yourself as someone who is part of a community hobby to ask yourself why and how you gave that impression, try to view it objectively, and take what you can from that.

Clarity

@Cupcake said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

@Clarity said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

I was not trying to dissuade the newbie, I was trying to help them. I offered them background information regarding their PC and how they had interacted with mine. And what the two scenes involved. I even had asked for a scene with them and offered to help them get settled. I did not mean to in any way dissuade her from taking the character. If she thought I was doing so, apologies for that, it wasn't my intention.

I have not intentionally tried to block anyone from story lines. And I don't think I complained loudly and often on channels about not having enough meta plot attention. I think maybe once, early on when I didn't understand the significance of my PC's secret, yes, because I had been struggling to get involved in things as a commoner, but often? Hardly. I spent a lot of time on channels helping people, I sang the praises of the staff and the awesome job they do often. And I asked a lot of questions.

I don't think I've had any special staff attention, no GM'd scenes, I think I submitted one story action request. The character secret had only just recently started to come into play and it was really helpful when it came to getting involved, so I was grateful for that.

Clearly many, many people do not view your actions that way. I would be the first person to sympathize with being in a situation where you are limited to the subjectivity of your own intent, but if so many people are saying this is how you came off, and if staff was willing to ban you for it, you owe it to yourself as someone who is part of a community hobby to ask yourself why and how you gave that impression, try to view it objectively, and take what you can from that.

I've shown several people the log of the conversation, including a couple of independent people who have never played Arx, and pretty much everyone agreed with the fact that they didn't feel I had been trying to dissuade her. But as mentioned before, if she at all felt like I was, as I posted earlier, I apologise. I never wanted to do that. I was just trying to help.

surreality

@Cupcake said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

I would be the first person to sympathize with being in a situation where you are limited to the subjectivity of your own intent, but if so many people are saying this is how you came off, and if staff was willing to ban you for it, you owe it to yourself as someone who is part of a community hobby to ask yourself why and how you gave that impression, try to view it objectively, and take what you can from that.

I know nothing about this situation; I don't play on Arx. I will say: this is beautifully put and is a sentiment that should be bronzed and put somewhere it can be read on every game ever.

As in, may I please quote this, with credit given, in the 'general words of wisdom' section of the wiki I'm tinkering up? (This is not remotely a joke; I'm actively looking for stuff like this lately and just haven't been up to asking for suggestions/advice to include yet -- this nails a big one, though!)

Cupcake

@surreality blush yes.

surreality

@Cupcake Thank you.

saosmash

Either you are actively lying to portray yourself positively on a thread about a game you've been banned from or you genuinely lack self awareness to the point that you really have no idea how much of a whiner and a bully you have acted in the course of your play on this game.

Either way, self examination is probably your wisest course going forward.