Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff

[GreenFlashlight]

@Quinn said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

This kid, man. Clumsy as hell but somehow, SOMEHOW has managed to avoid any serious injury. But today we're going to go learn the drive to the local hospital. Just in case.

Kids are resilient. Still, it's scary every time. I'm glad it was nothing serious.

[buttercup]

Dealing with a lot.

I'm in Hospice every day now with my brother who is dying of two primary cancers. I'm watching him suffocate over and over while he breathlessly begs for help. In three months a man that was six foot five and 240 pounds maybe weighs 135 pounds. Maybe. Looks less.

Because of Covid I am the only one here. One sister had lung surgery and the other is a local East Texas ER nurse who got Covid and the Flu from a patient who came in and refused to mask up. Her lung damage is permanent it looks like she will never work again and gave up the best years of her life and the job she loved.

I can't see her. She was alone until recently and discharged with workman's comp. I can't see her still because the Hospice won't let me in if I do.

On top of it over the last four years my company has went from 1600 to about 150 right now. I have turned grey in the last four years. All those jobs shipped overseas and I have had so many conversations that were unfair to good people. Some of my best friends soon. A decade of friendship and relationships. I am in leadership and run business operations and so I have been following the executive decree. Each time justifying it with the heavy salary and now just riding it our for my 8 months of severance due for my years and level in the company. Now starting to think I won't make it to the other side mentally.

Soon as I'm through this storm I'm going to retire at 41 by the end of the year. It isn't worth it. I can't give my life to the machine anymore to line the pockets of other sewn through the greed and avarice.

Mostly, I just want to fist fight cancer.

[Cupcake]

Okay, so.

In 1983, I was a witness to a really traumatic event. Basically there was a shooting inside my house while I was on the porch. I was 7. My mother stood trial for "discharging a firearm with intent to kill" and was found innocent on the grounds of self-defense. In later years, I would find out that my stepfather had threatened to kill me, and for a long time he was the featured boogyman of my nightmares and PTSD flashbacks - I would become convinced that he was stalking me through the halls of my highschool even though I logically knew there was no way that this was possible.

There's a huge gap of time interspersed between memories associated with the event of the incident and the trial. At the time I was not allowed to take the stand, probably because I was a child. But I think there's a lot to that experience that I don't know which may help me process it better, even after all of these years.

So I contacted the Pontotoc County Courthouse in Ada, OK and asked if I could have the casefiles from the criminal court case. I have to send a $20 cashier's check and self-addressed packaging to them, and I have to figure out a way to do that without breaking my budget. There is, apparently, a very thick file available to me and once it's in my hands I'm hoping I will understand the incident and my mother's experience during that time a lot better.

[Alamias]

@Cupcake If you have a venmo or Paypal or something, I would be more than happy to throw a few bucks your way for some closure.

[Ganymede]

@Cupcake

Same. I'll pay the whole thing.

[Cupcake]

@Alamias that is extremely kind of you, thank you! I should be fine, where money is concerned. My stress is mainly about the logistics. I have to send them prepaid packaging and it was implied that there's a lot of paperwork and I'm trying to figure out the best way to do it.

[Cupcake]

@Ganymede Much love, thank you. The logistics are mainly the issue that is most challenging.

[Ganymede]

@Cupcake

You may be able to do it by setting up a FedEx or UPS account and print out labels to send to the courthouse.

[Tori]

@Cupcake

I was going to offer the same. For work, I used to have to FedEx the checks up to MD for one of the board members to sign while he was up there during summers. FedEx has great legal sized boxes that have about four inches of height to them, which hopefully might work. We have an account with FedEx and order them online, but I would imagine they and UPS might ship them, given the times. My mother always uses these one-price boxes from the USPS as well. You can probably compare prices online and if they are prohibitive, I'd totally throw in to purchase one.

[Jeshin]

@Cupcake

Hey!

I happen to be a senior logis- blah blah blah. I have access to a crazy fedex discount and the ability to generate labels going to and fro for any size box you like and you can print those labels or e-mail them digitally to whoever.

Let me know if I can help (all shipping expenses on me).

[Derp]

@Cupcake said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

So I contacted the Pontotoc County Courthouse in Ada, OK and asked if I could have the casefiles from the criminal court case. I have to send a $20 cashier's check and self-addressed packaging to them, and I have to figure out a way to do that without breaking my budget. There is, apparently, a very thick file available to me and once it's in my hands I'm hoping I will understand the incident and my mother's experience during that time a lot better.

So let me preface this with the standard I am not a lawyer, etc.

But. Two things.

1. When you contacted them, did you verify that this is a file that they will release to you? In many jurisdictions, criminal investigations are not subject to release under public records laws for various reasons, and are frequently denied on those grounds.

2. Is the $20 the entire fee, or just the initial fee? Many places charge 10+ cents per page to offset additional costs if they have to produce a physical file, and you won't know that until they've counted the pages and determined the charges.

As someone who does this for a living - - you might want to be sure that you both understand exactly what you're asking for and exactly what it will cost. Much heartache is created in my daily work by people who do not realize one or the other of those things. Be sure.

[Ominous]

@Derp said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

1. When you contacted them, did you verify that this is a file that they will release to you? In many jurisdictions, criminal investigations are not subject to release under public records laws for various reasons, and are frequently denied on those grounds.

My assumption from the post was that it was the court records, not the investigation records.

2. Is the $20 the entire fee, or just the initial fee? Many places charge 10+ cents per page to offset additional costs if they have to produce a physical file, and you won't know that until they've counted the pages and determined the charges.

That is true.

[RightMeow]

Hello Strangers on the Interweb... this is going to contain personal information. This is your disclaimer to stop reading...

So, I have an autoimmune disorder (on top of whatever else goes on), it mainly effects my brain. A bit over a week ago, my right leg went numb. I was pretty sure that I pinched my sciatica nerve and just tried to 'walk it off'. This led to an urgent care visit, which led to the ER, which led to a three day high steroid IV drip.

I'm supposedly 'okay', but may I talk about how frustrating this is? It's my driving leg. I can still drive, but my foot will sometimes slip off the brake pedal. For a half second and it's back on. However, does this mean I shouldn't drive? It can take 3-6 months to get better. I don't have that time to have someone to drive me to work and back and stuff. I'm supposed to be moving this next week. To live all by my lonesome.

I'm smiling. I'm saying everything is fine. Everything is NOT fine. I'm worried about this. I don't know. I guess I just had to drop it here because I'm the smile and it's fine IRL person and I just had to offload it. Thank you..

[SparklesTheClown]

I disappeared a little bit for about a week, mostly because I was trying to rest, but then my grandmother got sick and ended up in the hospital. Turns out her blood sugar was nearly 3000, and she couldn't really talk or anything. But she's doing better, they're about to take her out of the ICU and stuff.

Either way, I'm calming down now, so I'll be more present.

[Wretched]

@HelloProject 3000?!
mine was 400+ when i got hospitalized for pancreatitis.

[SparklesTheClown]

@Wretched said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

@HelloProject 3000?!
mine was 400+ when i got hospitalized for pancreatitis.

She was incapable of speaking and could barely move. It was pretty severe.

[Wretched]

@HelloProject I'm glad she is doing better. Even 400 fucked my vision for weeks. All the positive vibes.

[silverfox]

@RightMeow

This sounds really horrible.

I'm not sure I would drive unless you can train yourself to break with the other foot for now. It might be worth it to go to a nice big empty parking lot and see if you can get a feel for that.

[Sunny]

it really, really, really, really sucks to not actually be able to trust my brain.

[Macha]

My highest on record was 1353, when I was first diagnosed (Late onset)

Your grandmother is a badass lady, for even being alive.