Oct 5, 2021, 2:02 AM
@too-old-for-this I don't know that they don't understand equality. I think they understand it very well. It's just that they quite literally don't want it.
Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.
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@ganymede I would agree, but they are doing much, MUCH more than simply 'making fun of' people.
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Honestly, as hard as this may be to believe, when it comes to the american religious right, especially in the culty group I was part of, it's less about the target and more about maintaining control of your group.
Pray the gay away/satanic panic/purity culture ect. is mostly about maintaining order and control from within. The damage that does is catastrophic to just about everyone it touches. Including the people that benefit the most, since it turns them into...well, what we see now after 30-50 years of this type of grooming.
It is honestly why you can have people spew the most hateful, despicable nonsense, as well as encourage and support garbage policies and criminal abuse, and then act bewildered when you personally call them out on it. Or be mystified as to how you didn't know they weren't talking about YOUR family.
When you base your belongings and beliefs in a culture of fear and either/or 'goodliness', you reap what you sow, and everyone gets splattered with your grossness.
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@mietze The explanation I put up there is an oversimplification of loss of control. The people that are the ones that can't understand equality? They're the ones in control. And they can't fathom anything being truly equal. All they can grok is that they might lose the control over... everything. Laws, societal norms, the economy, family... everything.
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@too-old-for-this I don't know that they don't understand equality. I think they understand it very well. It's just that they quite literally don't want it.
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@too-old-for-this said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
I would agree, but they are doing much, MUCH more than simply 'making fun of' people.
I agree with you too, but unfortunately I am speaking of their mindset, not of reality.
It's really sad too because I know too many God-fearing men, women, and others who feel guilty about "losing touch with their religion."
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this fucking ear infection can go the fuck away
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My reaction to anger in general.
I always thought that I dealt with anger well, but in reality I kind of freeze up. I go quiet, and I wait for the anger to pass. I knew that I wasn't great with that emotion but it didn't hit me until last night the reasons why. Listening to my parents fight all my life, being yelled at in past relationships. When someone is angry, I just freeze, and I hate that.
I'm my peeve today.
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@prism hopefully that conscious realization will put you on the path to a better set of reactions etc for you. It can really set off changes.
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@prism I would hug you if I could. I've been there. I cry when I am angry. I get defensive and defiant. (I was abused as a child, and my dad occasionally would get nasty with my stepmother. I feel you)
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I'm afraid of my own anger.
Once, in high school, I snapped on one of the boys who'd been bullying me. I was walking down the hall and he shoved me from behind, which is objectively one of the least offensive things he'd ever done to me, but the last thing I remember thinking is, "He's so much smaller than me but he thinks his dick makes him too strong for me to fight back against." Then there's a short gap in my memory and I have him in a headlock as I'm punching him in the crown over and over. My friends tell me I was shouting at him like it was a fight in a movie, telling him to heel like a dog, and maybe I did. I only remember coming to at the realization that if I didn't stop right then, a faculty member was going to spot us, so I threw him onto the floor and then I have another gap in my memory because I don't remember anything until I got home.
Losing control is scary. Losing time is scary. But what really scares me is even with all that, I still, twenty-some years later, yearn to feel the hateful satisfaction of throwing a soul-ugly man face first onto the floor and letting him be the one to have to make up a story about what happened to him. So I freeze in the moment, and then I willingly subject myself to shitty people online so I can post one of my occasional crowd-pleasing dissections of what an asshole they are.
I've been trying to think of a way to wrap this up, but the best I got is a pretty limp, "So I can relate to what you're feeling."
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@greenflashlight I too, did something similar in high school. I took BS from this one group of boys every morning for 2 months. One fine day in November, they started their BS in Physics lab. I remember moving my chair back.
The next thing I remember is being pulled back by my physics teacher, and he was having a hard time doing so. (He was a big mountain of a dude, too, and I was barely skimming 5ft. back then, she says, from her lofty height of 5'3" ).
I had picked up the ringleader out of his chair, threw him on the floor, and went after him. This guy was the lacrosse star, football star, senior class prez, etc etc. And I handed him his ass, and he was looking up at me in shock and terror. The teacher, who had known about their BS, told the dude he had it coming. Refused to send me to the principal to be punished.
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I cannot be afraid to show anger.
That repressive shit led to two suicides in my family.
Nope. I get angry when I want and how I want.
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Man if I couldn't safely feel anger I don't think I would feel anything most of the day.
I get through my day with caffeine, spite and stress.
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So, I like getting things done as soon as they fall onto my plate, or I tend to lose track of them.
What this meant in practical terms is that as soon as I got the address to my new place about 2 months ago, I did all the chores immediately. Set up all of the service transfers, all of the renter's insurance, signed the lease, all that jazz. Turned it all over to the leasing center in a nice little packet.
The leasing center lost all of that information.
So yesterday, less than 24 hours before I'm supposed to get my keys, they say, "Hey, we don't have anything on file for you other than the transfer fee being paid." So I need to run around like a headless chicken flailing and trying to get things back in order, obtain pieces of information I've since filed away as 'checked off my list', and re-signing my lease, and oh by the way, we can't get you your keys until 4PM, despite the fact that they said 9AM before I scheduled the dudes to come out and install internet.
So I have an appointment for them to install internet in an apartment I have no key to.
Fucking. Hell.
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@solstice Are you, perhaps, moving into the place I just moved out of?
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SEEMINGLY.
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Ah, and they just gotcha'd us with 70 dollars a month of hidden fees just to park our cars. This is taking a considerable amount of wind out of my sails.
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So, thanks to the generosity of internet strangers, I'll soon have a headset that I can use for long hours at work. So I was going to try and muddle along for a bit, but now, the stupid software isn't actually letting me MAKE the calls they want me to make, and they're just piling more and more cases on me.
I have more than anyone else on my team, when they know I'm waiting on a new headset.
Thank the gods I've got three interviews next week. Gods I'm hoping for something.
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@solstice said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
Ah, and they just gotcha'd us with 70 dollars a month of hidden fees just to park our cars. This is taking a considerable amount of wind out of my sails.
I am so sorry. That is utter BS. I wish the US had better laws to protect renters.
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Having to mend bridges with clients because the owner abuse(s/d) steroids and cocaine, thus having his own issues, such as emotional control and complete planning - do you have any fucking idea how many bricks 9,000 bricks is, my guy? It is not a week's worth of work for one person. Not if you want it done right, anyways.
Having to mend bridges in a Sunday night.
Having to mend bridges on a Sunday night when I am probably not sober.
My only consolation in this, is my time is expensive, and I track call times.
The Center Cannot Hold.