I was feeling bad about leaving my job of almost three years (half a month shy of my start date at the academy and three months shy of my graduation date). However, after yesterday I feel good and am ready to move on.
It was originally supposed to be my last day (and might now have been my last day after what happened, but I'm hoping to ride out another week for a little more money before I start my new job) and it was the friday of my workweek, so I expected a somewhat easy post assignment to cruise through until the end of shift. No, instead they assigned me to 5 East, which three months ago before we had a jail riot was an easy post because it was the old man wing, but had since been turned into a disciplinary wing to house the rioters and then, after they came off disciplinary, house any other displinary inmates. So I was going to be doing jumpsuit exchange and late night meal for 22 men who are very unhappy to be locked in their cells for 23 hours a day with no television or distraction other than their one hour out in a dayroom that has their shower and the telephone. Also, the wing has a very low ceiling, terrible lighting so you can't see if you're about to get assaulted, and most officers and inmates swear that it, along with 6 East above it, is haunted. It's certainly creepy enough to be haunted; though, I don't believe in the paranormal.
The second layer of the shit cake was that I was the only third-shifter assigned to that entire floor for the night. Out of 6 officers, I was the only one who wasn't going to be exhausted after having already worked a full shift during second shift. Also none of them knew it was jumpsuit exchange night on that floor, so they were unprepared and unhappy that they had to do that and I was going to have lead them through that.
The third layer of the shit cake was that second shift had apparently not done much, so almost all of the inmates were agitated. The North 1 walk of the wing had flooded the walk on first shift until first shift cut off their water. Second shift gave them back their water, and they flooded the walk again, so second shift cut off their water. They were already demanding we turn the water back on and I wasn't about to give it to them after demonstrating they can't behave themselves twice in one day, pissing them off more. The South 1 walk was pissed they didn't receive hot water (scaldingly hot water we heat up in hot pots so they can cook noodles or make instant coffee; it's a privilege not a right, and it's at officer's discretion whether to give it) so were donkey kicking their doors for attention. As I did my rounds for beginning of shift count, two different inmates kindly informed me that when I opened their doors to serve them food they were jumping me.
The fourth layer of the shit cake was that my partner decided to leave the floor after having been there maybe 10 minutes for a "bathroom break" that proceeded to take 40 minutes (or longer, they hadn't returned by the end of the story), and after I had been there an hour, my Sergeant still hadn't arrived on the floor for me to address the issues with the wing with them. So I was a bit miffed at having to deal with these issues by myself.
The steaming turd topping on the shit cake was when I did rounds for the final time, South 1 had decided to flood their walk too, so I had to cut off their water at which point I was threatened two more times with assault (well, one was a threat of murder but let's not get technical).
I called my lieutenant, told her I wasn't eating that shit cake, and she could force feed it to whatever poor bastard hadn't already given their two weeks notice. I turned in the wing's keyset; exited the security perimeter; collected my firearm, extra magazines, baton, and cell phone; and clocked out.
If that story sounds right up your alley, they're hiring.
though when I explained what happened they busted a gut chortling.
