Nov 18, 2016, 1:14 AM
RL Anger
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What?! FUCKING WHAT?!?! Oh fuck this... this is why I'm a hermit...
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So...
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Nightmares so over the top I've maybe had about 20 hours of sleep for the entire week, total.
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Huge ongoing stress mess with one of my dearest friends that has me equally mad at them (for a pretty solid fucking reason) and thrice as mad at myself 'cause I know they don't need the fucking stress right now.
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Jewelry/art/craft show this weekend; apparently half our displays broke in storage -- and I'd planned new ones but was told 'WHAT WE HAVE IS GOOD ENOUGH SO NO!!!!!' -- so we get to improv shit on the fly at setup tomorrow, some of the actual STOCK is just poof gone, and did I mention I'm an art hermit and I make the things and just let my mother sell it all with her stuff for a cut because I am the worst at people when I have to try to convince someone to buy anything?
Customer: "Oh, wow, this is lovely!"
Me: "Thank you, though anybody could do it, really, it's pretty simple... " <fighting urge to crawl under the table>
(I have a real problem with this. It does not matter how many things I've won awards in or had real actual competent recognized authorities in their design fields tell me are awesome or whatever, I know for a damn fact there is not a single thing I do/make that anybody else could not also do if they took the time to practice/were willing to do the work, which is, frankly, the reality here. I just take it to the extreme of feeling super fucking uncomfortable about people gushing about something because... I know that reality, that reality is 'what I'm doing is not a big fucking deal and is just a matter of investing the time and paying attention to details' and it feels fundamentally weird and on-the-spot-putting. My brain's pretty fucked like that.)...or...
Customer: "What do you MEAN this is $100? I mean I realize it's silver and semiprecious stones but my second cousin's sister in law makes shit so just tell me how you did it step by step and I'll have her make one for me cheaper!"
My husband: <wishing he brought a leash so he could yank me back over the table just in case the murder urge manifests in the form of crazy eyes and he's afraid I'm going to lunge across the table like a rabid tiger>...or...
Customer: "I bought a $5 pair of earrings from you ten years ago, why won't you give me this $250 necklace for the same price?"
Me: <always speechless at this, really, we're talking confused puppy head tilt and wondering if that's what actually came out of some bitch's mouth>
My husband: "Because that's not a $5 pair of earrings, but we'll happily consider giving you a $5 discount, so you will have effectively gotten your earrings for free!"
(I would fucking die without that man, truly. And this is the kind of thing we get asked every fucking show.)-
This show never brings in money because it frankly sucks.
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...and I have jury duty on Monday. If the weekend goes as predicted, at least I know I won't get selected since nobody wants the girl crying for seemingly no goddamned reason deciding anybody's fate, and I know full damn well I am not in the frame of mind to be doing that right now, but 'it would be grossly irresponsible for you to ask me to do this, my brain has been broken by the events of the past two months and I am not in a rational frame of mind' actually isn't something that will disqualify someone, which deeply terrifies me.
Edit:
6. And my mother called, and here I am expecting it's to tell me to come down to work on stuff since she's home from choir. She is bawling, because a friend of hers from choir was in a lethal hit-and-run while he was walking to the church for choir practice. I... am already in family-comforter-for-the-foreseeable-future mode and... just, goddamn, universe.2016 can seriously suck a bag of rancid eels.
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All you have to do to get out of jury duty is to say that you just don't think you can be impartial in a case like this because it emotionally affects you so much.
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@saosmash I normally have zero issue with it, like, I don't even mind going... but I know I am not in the mental state for it right now and it would not be fair to people.
Oh fucking well.
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@surreality A lot of people hate jury duty. It's okay to not want to be there. Personally I know they'll never put me on a jury for ANYTHING, and I get jealous of people who get to serve, but really! You'll probably have other opportunities to serve. If you're up front that you don't feel like you can be impartial, you'll get challenged for cause and you won't burn anyone's peremptory and you'll get to leave.
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@saosmash It doesn't really bug me. The only time I've even had to call in to reschedule was a time that was 'erm, I have a show setup that day, it is one of my TWO weekday workdays of the whole year, can I please go in the next round?' and they had zero issue with it. I just sit and doodle or read a book or something, which is kinda welcome 'cause I'm usually working on ten things at once and running around like a chicken with its head cut off, so it's... well, sorta... enforced 'stop that' time. (Seriously, that and soaking in the tub are all the reading time I get these days.)
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...I've actually hoped for jury duty and the only time I got it, the cases on the docket all got rescheduled or settled other ways. >.>
Saying the quiet parts out loud since 1996.
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@Auspice Same. I've only even gotten called in to the courtroom for a review once, and they picked everybody before they got to me.
...I think the green hair may officially make me a nope, because 'guys, a chick with green hair helped decide this' is probably grounds for something.
Oh fucking well.
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I have always wanted to be on a jury. I have gotten called in three times but never selected. Only time I minded getting called in was when it was for a day I had already scheduled off for vacation.
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The last time I got called in for a jury, I wasn't selected.
But the big ol' fat redneck who said he wanted to 'fry that sumbitch' during the jury selection phase did get picked.
Mmmmm, Southern Justice.
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@surreality I'm a defense attorney with blue streaked hair!
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@saosmash I approve of this SO HARD, you have no idea. That made me grin when one was much needed.
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@ThatGuyThere
Jury duty isn't fun. I've had it twice, and somehow been selected for grand jury both times. -
Fall.
Screw this sun going down at 4pm in the afternoon.
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@Cobaltasaurus SPRING mothertrucker!
Far too much heat, all the hayfever, and goddamn snakes everywhere. Eeeech.
He/Him
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Oh right...
My parents are climate change deniers too. I had managed to forget.
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SPRING mothertrucker!
Far too much heat, all the hayfever, and goddamn snakes everywhere. Eeeech.
Today I had to put on a parka and snow boots for the first time and I got to find my heavy gloves. I hate you with the passion of a million burning stars.
Winter is coming.
- He who takes offense when not intended is a fool. He who takes offense when intended is a greater fool.
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I.. had to put on a coat? Not a parka, just a hoodie. And I couldn't sleep with the windows open last night... that's... that's about as cold as it gets here.