RL Anger
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I woke up to an email on my WORK EMAIL that I use with CHILDREN that was suggestive and sexual and culminated ina job offer(wtf) that was also followed up with a) an email to my personal email b) a whatsapp message c) 3 youtube comments and 4) several instagram comments, all suggestive. from the same dude
...yaaaay! You're famous! Star power! (or something!)
But seriously that sucks.
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@wahoo Holy shit, that is not OK on any level. I will never fucking understand the ownership other people claim over anyone with any level of public image or body of work, and that's in addition to the HOLY WTF over the creep factor. I mention the former 'cause holy shit that feels like there's some spillover between the two.
Ran into someone when I was much younger who thought 'I want to hire you for a thing' meant 'I can be as sleazy and gross and try to get into your pants as much as I want because of it and you're obligated to put up with it', and holy crap on a cracker, NO.
It's a truly special sort of gross and I'm sorry you are being chased by it.
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I got through college on a scholarship through the kindness of a single man. He was on the committee that awarded several scholarships to my high school self. My application had actually been rejected, but he knew my family. When he heard I had applied he dug through the rejections and pulled me back out. Then he proceeded to tell my family's story to the committee. In the end he convinced them to award me the FULL scholarship, and didn't split it that year. Not only that but they agreed to renew the scholarship all four years of my education so long as I proved I was in academic good standing. (In years past the award was split between three individuals and only for a single year.) This allowed me to not take out a single loan for my college education.
And he just responded to a facebook post of mine regarding currently events with:
"ok for you. I guess that all school teachers are racist and abuse children because a few of them do even though they all go through training."
It is all I can do to take a deep breath and not respond with vitriol because I know at one point he was a good man who I owe so much to.
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I'm sick and fucking tired of my landlord weaponizing his bad Airbnb reviews for the basement unit against us. I am disabled and can't walk any more lightly. He keeps bitching at us about "noise complaints" and is too dumb to realize that we can read his fucking Airbnb reviews, too, three of which complain about being able to (GASP) hear people walking upstairs.
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@tek I don't know where you live, but there may be laws about him using the unit as a Air BNB - if it was formally an apartment. Apparently there's a huge shortage of livable places, because people are doing what he's doing.
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There is enough racism and hate in the real world. Please don't make me deal with it in my escapist hobbies, too.
It's been many years since I've punched a Nazi in the head, but I'm really starting to miss it, you anti-Semitic piece of shit.
https://whatiswrongwith.me/Mia
There were never any good old days. They are today. They are tomorrow. It's a stupid thing we say, cursing tomorrow with sorrow. -- Gogol Bordello -
@Aria I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment, but... where did this happen? Please tell me our troll isn't back...
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@surreality said in RL Anger:
@Aria I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment, but... where did this happen? Please tell me our troll isn't back...
A troll? Is that why I got a message there were new posts, but I couldn't find any? Someone posting Nazi propaganda that got deleted?
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@GreenFlashlight No idea; s'why I'm asking, too. We have a troll that surfaces from time to time, and he spouts gross racist, sexist, and anti-Semitic garble on the regular, though. I haven't seen him pop up for a while, and am hoping he's fucked all the way off.
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Nope! This was a real life occurrence with a hobby group I'm involved in. Hence this going in the "RL Anger" thread.
A shitty thing happened. And it has now spurred something of a debate re: whether it's ever acceptable name something after a town whose name was also the name of nearby camp. At least when that thing is clearly meant to reference the town, especially if it's not one that people automatically recognize and are like "Oh, wow! You named it Auschwitz? That's incredibly tasteless and hurtful."
And I'm on the "holy shit you guys, unless you're talking about, like, Warshaw, which is a major city that people might associate with a hundred other things, then no, it is never okay" side of the debate. The instigating event was very much one where it was done on purpose, but even if it's done accidentally.... dude, just pick the next cool-sounding town name over. The one that doesn't have the brutal murder of 11 million people associated with it? Like, just maybe? If it was an accident, I guarantee the person will rename it, probably after being quietly mortified at their mistake. That was generally my experience with the guy who accidentally made a reference to a common bit of Irish heraldry, but which is also associated with a small and fairly obscure terrorist group that most Americans have never heard of when an Irish member of the group was like "Hey, could you maybe not? Thanks." If they're like, "NO! It must absolutely be Janowska and I will never change it and you are oppressing meeeeeee <fratic panting> FREE SPEECH!", then that person is probably a neo-Nazi fuckhead that is just having a tantrum because they got caught in their clever subterfuge. That person can piss all the way off.
https://whatiswrongwith.me/Mia
There were never any good old days. They are today. They are tomorrow. It's a stupid thing we say, cursing tomorrow with sorrow. -- Gogol Bordello -
@Aria Ahhh I know what group this is. And the first name, too! Like my friends and I were wondering how the FUCK that was acceptable.
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@Aria
SCA shit I'm assuming?I've heard.... a lot of weird/gross racist and sexist stuff in the past year that has had me thinking 'I am glad I never got into SCA despite it seeming up my alley because this would be All Too Much'
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Yes. And I will say that as soon as the connection was made, the offender was banned. Immediately within his local area and globally within a matter of days. I am very pleased with the higher ups for making this call and honestly can say that it only happened because he chose a location that wasn't immediately recognized for what it was. I certainly wouldn't have looked at it and thought "Wait, isn't that the name of.... HOLY SHIT, DUDE. No!", and I'm one of the people who specialize in the history of names.
So I can see why someone reading a Medieval document might think something sounds cool and not realize that 600 years later... but. We don't need to make allowances for someone who made an honest mistake to keep making said mistake after they've been told. That's how people get away with ill-intentioned acts, all while giving a nudge and a wink. I'm just really, really glad that the two people who were 'concerned' about that are not remotely involved in the decision-making. At all. The existing rules against offensive or obscene names will be enforced as soon as we realize that's what they are.
In the case of all the gross stories you've head in the past year, it's largely a big thing because those people are being banned and -- just like in MUing -- that's a thing that gets a lot of attention. I thus find those instances both upsetting because they happened at all and reassuring because they're being dealt with so firmly.
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I mean. If you want to name it after the town, call it Oświęcim.
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So, my ex-therapist tracked down my Twitter (as I have a google info box due to releasing my music through a distributor, so google is like "Wait are you famous?"), after exactly two years when it would no longer be illegal for him to contact me. And then, after I had to figure out who he was, he confessed that he always was attracted to me. I always had weird vibes and like some things he'd say and the way he'd make physical contract with me kept feeling very inappropriate, which is a part of why I left. But then when he tracked me down today (literally this was like an hour ago), he said all kinds of wildly and blatantly inappropriate stuff.
So yeah I'm incredibly emotionally shook.
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@HelloProject Time to report that shit to whichever advisory board licenses therapists.
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@HelloProject said in RL Anger:
So, my ex-therapist tracked down my Twitter (as I have a google info box due to releasing my music through a distributor, so google is like "Wait are you famous?"), after exactly two years when it would no longer be illegal for him to contact me. And then, after I had to figure out who he was, he confessed that he always was attracted to me. I always had weird vibes and like some things he'd say and the way he'd make physical contract with me kept feeling very inappropriate, which is a part of why I left. But then when he tracked me down today (literally this was like an hour ago), he said all kinds of wildly and blatantly inappropriate stuff.
So yeah I'm incredibly emotionally shook.
That is a world of not OK. I am very sorry. I cannot imagine the yikes you are going through, but I'd be pretty shaken too.
I'm fortunate to have never gone through anything like that but a while ago I did stop seeing a therapist who I noticed was starting to make me feel worse, and more dependent, rather than better. She had my full trust for the longest time, so it took me a while to both decide to stop seeing her and then to understand why I'd been feeling that way, once I was therapy free.
I found this article, among others on that same topic, helpful in processing the situation. Maybe it'll help you too.
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@HelloProject report him, if you can. What he did was hands down inappropriate. The licensing board should be notified immediately and you have easy grounds for a no contact/anti harassment order too if you want. Do not listen to anyone who says you need to consider his feelings/the implications for him. This behavior is predatory and it is for other folks to sort out, you do not need to take that on.
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@HelloProject
Do what you can to help make yourself feel safe again, if you can. I've had the glorious stalker experience myself, as have a few other people around here -- if you want tips on some things I did that helped me lemme know, and I'm sure other folks have some tips, too. It's absolutely awful what he did, and once you are in a space where you can, reporting is a good idea -- but please make sure you take care of yourself first. 100%. You won't be able to follow through with the reporting process if you don't, anyway.
